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Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 10:33:24 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
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In the club I belonged to, they embraced (no pun intended) the notion that people should hug in greeting other members but ASK the intended huggee's PERMISSION FIRST.

I think this puts people in a very awkward position. I mean, there are some people you just don't want to hug!
I'm not a hugger by nature anyhow and I really have to force myself to hug anyone. But add to that the response of having to come right out and tell a person who asks for a hug "no", doesn't that just cause more damage/humiliation than not to the refused party?

One bear chested Dom asked for hug one time.. he was so sweated up he WREAKED. He was coming at me and I held up my hand (reflexibly) and yelled "I don't THINK so!" (I had to do it that was as he was the type that would have" insisted".)

In summary I ask, what's with all the hugging these days???

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 8/30/2007 10:46:21 AM >

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RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 10:38:55 AM

breatheasone

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I personally like hugs....from friends family or total strangers. i also know that there are people who do not feel this way, i dont understand that, but i know its true. i personally would not be offended if a complete stranger didnt want to hug me...i would "get" that they are just not comfortable with it.

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(in reply to LotusSong)

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RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 11:04:26 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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When someone approaches you with a hug and you do not want to hug them, the proper response is generally to quickly and firmly push your right hand out in front of you in the "shaking hands" position, smile and say "good to see you!"

A lot of people in the scene WANT things to be familial, close, intimate. They want to feel like they belong and that we're all just so together and we have SO much in common because we're all kinky. This unfortunately leads to all sorts of break downs and messes in social interactions.

But a good smile, quick response time and unwavering confidence can deal with all of them just fine.

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RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 11:34:36 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

the human body is starved for touch. the skin is an organ. hugs can even effect our health.

A bried blurt; "raincheck,..im under the weather right now". is a polite way of saying you dont want a hug.

during the flu season people have started not shaing hands due to the spread of the germs.

no one owes anyone sex ever.

but i think the world would be a better place if we each got 7 hugs a day, [PLATONIC]

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 4

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 11:44:43 AM

farglebargle

Posts: 10715
Joined: 6/15/2005
From: Albany, NY
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Damned Hippies... Always wanting to break down the artificial barriers erected by our self-consciousness....

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(in reply to pahunkboy)

Post #: 5

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 11:49:05 AM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

But what if Sen. Larry Craig wanted to hug you?

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RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 11:52:08 AM

farglebargle

Posts: 10715
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From: Albany, NY
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People are hired to prevent just such an event happening. Some people just shouldn't ever travel without a handler.

_____________________________

It's not every generation that gets to watch a civilization fall. Looks like we're in for a hell of a show.

ברוך אתה, אדוני אלוקינו, ריבון העולמים, מי יוצר צמחים ריחניים

(in reply to popeye1250)

Post #: 7

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 11:52:25 AM

SeargentDave

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Joined: 11/9/2005
Status: offline

I think it was sarted back in the eighties with Dr. Leo Buscalia. LOL. Actually my son (18yrs) hugs his freinds both male and female. Some of the macho guys at HS thought it was very homosexual, he says it is a sign of affection to both male and females and shrugs off any "gay" references. I agree with Albatross about how to handle things if you do not wish to be the recipient.

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 8

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 11:56:10 AM

kayne

Posts: 417
Joined: 8/22/2007
Status: offline

I'm actually not a very huggy person unless it's someone I really like (platonic or otherwise). Unfortunately, the 'cute' factor I apparently have seems to be a self given invitation for folk (even people I've never met before that moment) to hug me. Drives me crazy.

_____________________________

Baby whatcha say we go pickin' wildflowers?
Got a spot way back in the woods.
Sneak away for a couple of hours,
You and me baby, pickin' wildflowers.

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RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 12:05:49 PM

SugarMyChurro

Posts: 1912
Joined: 4/26/2007
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Oh I dunno, it might just be the fact that you are a 19 year old male hugging a stuffed pink pig...

(in reply to kayne)

Post #: 10

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 12:13:57 PM

mnottertail

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Joined: 11/3/2004
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back when I was a yout, women would accost me on the street and try and grub their hands thru my hair, tight little curls I had then. That is one reason I am bald today. I used to be mortified, but now I miss it.

Ron

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RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 12:15:18 PM

kayne

Posts: 417
Joined: 8/22/2007
Status: offline

I would sooner hug the pig than hug a stranger!

_____________________________

Baby whatcha say we go pickin' wildflowers?
Got a spot way back in the woods.
Sneak away for a couple of hours,
You and me baby, pickin' wildflowers.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 12

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 12:46:44 PM

LivingInSin

Posts: 326
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kayne

I would sooner hug the pig than hug a stranger!

ditto! i dont mind hugs from friends and family...most times. there are still times that it drive me batty when my poor babies keep hugging me. people i dont know coming up to hug me puts me on guard and kinda hostile......personal space folks. respect the bubble

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Post #: 13

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 12:56:58 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

Kayne, please don't say you're Dominant!

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Post #: 14

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 1:05:31 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: farglebargle

Damned Hippies... Always wanting to break down the artificial barriers erected by our self-consciousness....

*tackles fargle with a big hippie type hug* Walks away whistling a happy tune

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to farglebargle)

Post #: 15

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 1:56:56 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

When someone approaches you with a hug and you do not want to hug them, the proper response is generally to quickly and firmly push your right hand out in front of you in the "shaking hands" position, smile and say "good to see you!"

A lot of people in the scene WANT things to be familial, close, intimate. They want to feel like they belong and that we're all just so together and we have SO much in common because we're all kinky. This unfortunately leads to all sorts of break downs and messes in social interactions.

But a good smile, quick response time and unwavering confidence can deal with all of them just fine.

Actually, this how we greet each other in my family! REALLY!! (mid-westerners, you know)

We actually wave at each other as we enter the room. Even after years apart!

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 16

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 2:21:23 PM

spiral23

Posts: 1053
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline

HUGS NOT DRUGS.......

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 17

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 2:26:54 PM

kayne

Posts: 417
Joined: 8/22/2007
Status: offline

Haha, Popeye, no I'm not. I just absolutely hate being forcibly hugged by strangers.

Unless there's a joke I'm missing....

_____________________________

Baby whatcha say we go pickin' wildflowers?
Got a spot way back in the woods.
Sneak away for a couple of hours,
You and me baby, pickin' wildflowers.

(in reply to spiral23)

Post #: 18

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 2:32:49 PM

kittinSol

Posts: 16926
Status: offline

When I was twenty something, doing the London club culture, I got hugged all the time. Men, women, cats and rats would come up to me and say: "Gawd, darlin', you're beautiful, let me give you a hug!".

And it was fabulous. It was not sexual: the love was induced by MDMA, but it felt wonderful.

At the time.

God, I loved clubbing...

_____________________________

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Post #: 19

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 3:10:55 PM

NorthernGent

Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

When I was twenty something, doing the London club culture, I got hugged all the time. Men, women, cats and rats would come up to me and say: "Gawd, darlin', you're beautiful, let me give you a hug!".

And it was fabulous. It was not sexual: the love was induced by MDMA, but it felt wonderful.

At the time.

God, I loved clubbing...

How old are you? Are you my generation? 'Used to go to London clubs when club culture was alive and well: The Fridge in Brixton, The Cross in Kings Cross....sister lived in Greenwich...

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

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Post #: 20

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