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RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 3:50:20 PM

petdave

Posts: 2479
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kayne

I'm actually not a very huggy person unless it's someone I really like (platonic or otherwise). Unfortunately, the 'cute' factor I apparently have seems to be a self given invitation for folk (even people I've never met before that moment) to hug me. Drives me crazy.

Actually, the problem isn't the "cute", it's the fact that you don't WANT them to hug you. They can sense it, and it's like waving a red flag in front of a bull.

i don't think i'd belong to an organization that promoted hugging as a greeting. i'm from Connecticut. i don't touch people unless i'm married to them.

(in reply to kayne)

Post #: 21

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 3:52:08 PM

kayne

Posts: 417
Joined: 8/22/2007
Status: offline

So.... they hug me because I don't want them to hug me? Those bastards.

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(in reply to petdave)

Post #: 22

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 3:52:51 PM

ELUSIVE1

Posts: 536
Joined: 9/11/2005
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I am a hugger...and I get amused at the awkward moment when I hug someone that obviously does not embrace that custom...get over it already--it is one nano-second in a lifetime...

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(in reply to NorthernGent)

Post #: 23

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 3:56:35 PM

Carrianna

Posts: 273
Joined: 11/20/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

In the club I belonged to, they embraced (no pun intended) the notion that people should hug in greeting other members but ASK the intended huggee's PERMISSION FIRST.

I think this puts people in a very awkward position. I mean, there are some people you just don't want to hug!
I'm not a hugger by nature anyhow and I really have to force myself to hug anyone. But add to that the response of having to come right out and tell a person who asks for a hug "no", doesn't that just cause more damage/humiliation than not to the refused party?

One bear chested Dom asked for hug one time.. he was so sweated up he WREAKED. He was coming at me and I held up my hand (reflexibly) and yelled "I don't THINK so!" (I had to do it that was as he was the type that would have" insisted".)

In summary I ask, what's with all the hugging these days???

I love hugging, snuggling what ever you want to call it, but I don’t think it should be forced onto anyone, or you should do it because it is accepted, to me that is a way of submissive bullying.

But I am fussy who I hug...

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(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 24

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 3:59:25 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I have a lot of friends like that. They know I like physical closeness and they assume that means with everyone. Just becasue I like a good snuggle with Angel or my close friends does not mean I want to hug up on everyone.
But, so im informed, its a southern thing and i had best be getting used to it.

DV

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(in reply to Carrianna)

Post #: 25

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 4:04:42 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

I have a lot of friends like that. They know I like physical closeness and they assume that means with everyone. Just becasue I like a good snuggle with Angel or my close friends does not mean I want to hug up on everyone.
But, so im informed, its a southern thing and i had best be getting used to it.

DV

Ahh the south :) Now if they follow that hug up with a "bless your heart" and a pat on the head.. DECK 'EM!!!!!

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I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 26

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 4:10:14 PM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
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I am a huggy type person, I have next to no personal space bubble unless I do not like you, then stay the hell away from me lol. However I do ask before attempting to hug someone.

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(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 27

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 4:15:50 PM

Sweet1Maybe4U

Posts: 144
Joined: 8/1/2006
Status: offline

I think it is a Southern thing. When I lived in Ohio it was awkward to others but gee whiz...I LOVE hugs. It's kinda soothing to me. I even hug strangers sometimes. Now cuddling~that's a different story. I only cuddle with very close friends and family. I even got in trouble at work when I was first hired..*blinks....I was told I needed to learn boundaries.....

and was written up for it but I just can't seem to help it and after eight years there NOW almost everyone hugs and some say "What? ya mad at me?" if I dont hug them....

I suppose I do need to learn boundaries more but I grew up in that kind of environment. We always hug and say "I love You" when we hang up the phone or leave....what if that's the last time I see them?

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 28

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 4:18:21 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
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From: Domme Emeritus
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion

I am a huggy type person, I have next to no personal space bubble unless I do not like you, then stay the hell away from me lol. However I do ask before attempting to hug someone.

I guess I'm just one of those with a major bubble of personal space. I think I feel that a hug is too intimate to use as a greeting. I mean, I'll hug someone that I know is a known hugger out of courtesy, but just to get it over with and the quicker the better. So If you see me and I wave at you instead, it's a complement, because it's genuine and "me" :)

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Post #: 29

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 4:20:02 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sweet1Maybe4U

I think it is a Southern thing. When I lived in Ohio it was awkward to others but gee whiz...I LOVE hugs. It's kinda soothing to me. I even hug strangers sometimes. Now cuddling~that's a different story. I only cuddle with very close friends and family. I even got in trouble at work when I was first hired..*blinks....I was told I needed to learn boundaries..... and was written up for it but I just can't seem to help it and after eight years there NOW almost everyone hugs and some say "What? ya mad at me?" if I dont hug them....
I suppose I do need to learn boundaries more but I grew up in that kind of environment. We always hug and say "I love You" when we hang up the phone or leave....what if that's the last time I see them?

<---- born and raised in NE Ohio... see what I mean? :)

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to Sweet1Maybe4U)

Post #: 30

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 4:25:40 PM

Sweet1Maybe4U

Posts: 144
Joined: 8/1/2006
Status: offline

*blinks......does that mean I cant hug ya?....huh

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 31

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 4:34:35 PM

bamabbwsub

Posts: 566
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

So.... they hug me because I don't want them to hug me? Those bastards.

kayne, this follows the same rule as cats that rub on the legs of people who dislike felines. :)

quote:

I think it is a Southern thing.

I'm not sure I agree with that, Sweet1. I am a Southerner born and bred, but I am not a hugger. My family isn't very "touchy-feely," so that's probably where I get mine from. My best friend, who IS a very touchy-feely type person (and she's from the Midwest), told me once that I have a "50/50" look on my face when approached by strangers, which apparently silently warns that "you have a 50/50 chance of being told to fuck off." <sigh> Not exactly the impression that I want to give, but there it is.

However, back to the original topic...I would not want to be asked if I could be hugged. I'd much rather hug -- as uncomfortable as it can be for me -- for a second than have to look at someone and say "No." That just seems rude to me.

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 32

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 4:38:45 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sweet1Maybe4U

*blinks......does that mean I cant hug ya?....huh

... you wouldn't like it. I am brief and follow it with that "pat on the back" thing. It's just awkward as hell for me.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

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Post #: 33

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 4:45:39 PM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

I think maybe it IS a Southern thing. At my Southern Baptist Church we even had brief interludes during a sermon to hug, and hugs were expected out the door. My dad came home from work every night. Expected a hug.

I don't always like it when someone I don't know hugs me, but even if the person is horribly offensive in odor. Its a brief interlude to my day. However, I respect another's personal space, and never hug without encouragement to do so.

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 34

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 4:51:36 PM

Sweet1Maybe4U

Posts: 144
Joined: 8/1/2006
Status: offline

Ive never asked someone if I could or should hug them..I just always have..when greeting them and saying goodbyes. It just comes naturally to me. We did those things in my church too WinsomeDefiance. Hugs make me happy.
*makes a mental note to not hug LotusSong (for Her comfort)

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 35

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 4:56:58 PM

Griswold

Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

In summary I ask, what's with all the hugging these days???

That's what I'm fucking asking !!!!

What's with all this politeness shit?

Who proscribed all this good natured shit?

What ever fucking happened to all the "FUCK YOU" shit?

I wanna fucking know.

(Of course, said in the most submissive of ways).

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 36

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 5:02:54 PM

Sweet1Maybe4U

Posts: 144
Joined: 8/1/2006
Status: offline

*blinks.......maybe you need a hug?.....*snickers

(in reply to Griswold)

Post #: 37

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 5:08:41 PM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

Come on everyone, Griswold needs a group hug. And a ball gag.

(in reply to Sweet1Maybe4U)

Post #: 38

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 5:11:02 PM

Sweet1Maybe4U

Posts: 144
Joined: 8/1/2006
Status: offline

*gets out da pink one....Here...gather round....squeeeeze!....

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 39

RE: Gratuitous Hugging - 8/30/2007 5:24:24 PM

Sweet1Maybe4U

Posts: 144
Joined: 8/1/2006
Status: offline

nite everyone and uh..hugs!
my SweetUms is coming over..ive missed Him terribly.. *quickly hides da pink ball gag...........*blinks

(in reply to Sweet1Maybe4U)

Post #: 40

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