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How important is protocol? - 9/3/2007 12:48:50 PM   
celticlord2112


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Status: offline 		What role does protocol play in furthering a Dominant/submissive dynamic?  What is the importance to the relationship that the submissive/slave say "Sir," "Master," "My Lord," (or the feminine equivalants) when addressing the dominant?




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RE: How important is protocol? - 9/3/2007 1:16:12 PM   
Squeakers


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Status: offline 		   It depends on setting and mood---for me anyways.   Most of the time, it's given names.     

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RE: How important is protocol? - 9/3/2007 1:21:29 PM   
earthycouple


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Status: offline 		I'm not a protocol hound...some things I want just so and others not.  But I don't adhere to any special "obvious" protocols.  I do have guidelines that I prefer to be followed in certain things but realize we can't always do exactly what we want when we want.

Things like eye contact restrictions are totally wasted on me.  Calling me by a title all day every day also wasted (UMs and all).  Kneeling protocols more often than not seem silly unless we are engaged in something specific. 

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RE: How important is protocol? - 9/3/2007 1:22:47 PM   
Viridana


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Status: offline 		To me, it doesn't matter a thing. 

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RE: How important is protocol? - 9/3/2007 1:24:40 PM   
kyraofMists


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Status: offline 		For us, the protocols outline how we will interact with him and that includes how we address him.  We do it because it is something that we all enjoy and it fulfills us.


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RE: How important is protocol? - 9/3/2007 1:26:14 PM   
Jill805


Posts: 83
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Status: offline 		For me, the most important protocol is my morning cup of tea..............

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RE: How important is protocol? - 9/3/2007 1:26:42 PM   
celticlord2112


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Status: offline 		Do you consider the protocols necessary to the relationship?  Could you have fundamentally the same relationship without them?

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RE: How important is protocol? - 9/3/2007 1:35:38 PM   
IrishMist


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quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

What role does protocol play in furthering a Dominant/submissive dynamic?  What is the importance to the relationship that the submissive/slave say "Sir," "Master," "My Lord," (or the feminine equivalants) when addressing the dominant?




From my end...absolutly of no importance at all. What is important is whether or not I FEEL right when using those to address someone. If it feels wrong, I don't use them. Pretty simple.

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RE: How important is protocol? - 9/3/2007 1:43:51 PM   
MadRabbit


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Status: offline 		I think its great. I wont say its a necessity, but rather a tool to make my life easier.

I dont particularly want to have to tell my slave over and over again how I want my coffee made each morning, so I make a protocol that says "This is how I want my coffee every morning."

Now I get my coffee the way I want every morning, thanks to my protocol, and with little effort on my part.

Sweet, huh?


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RE: How important is protocol? - 9/3/2007 1:44:04 PM   
amiciaN


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My Master and I were recently discussing 'protocols'.  He doesn't have a set of protocols and in almost 2 years of being His, I have about 10 'rules'.  He does naturally have expectations, but they are not codified into formal protocol.  He and I both understand that learning to meet all His expectations is an ongoing process which will never be entirely complete, which suits us since we both feel that learning is a lifelong process.

As far as calling Him Sir or Master, those are the most natural words out of my mouth and has nothing to do with protocol.  It is simply who He is.  I can only think of His name when talking to vanillas about Him.  When He was here in July, I still frequently referred to Him as Sir or Master as long as no one was likely to be listening to what we were saying.  I mean, do you really hear what someone else walking through Walmart is saying?  I certainly don't call out Sir or Master across a store, but I had to conciously remind myself to use His given name on those rare occasions when I did need to call Him something while someone was listening. 

NChaka's amicia, who misses her Master.

I have never been lifted so high as when I kneel at His feet.
Je t'aime mon Maître.

edited for poor spelling and grammar


< Message edited by amiciaN -- 9/3/2007 1:49:41 PM >

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RE: How important is protocol? - 9/3/2007 1:46:46 PM   
feastie


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Status: offline 		No, protocols are not necessary.  But if they make you feel accomplished, then by all means, use them.

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RE: How important is protocol? - 9/3/2007 1:47:18 PM   
celticlord2112


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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist
From my end...absolutly of no importance at all. What is important is whether or not I FEEL right when using those to address someone. If it feels wrong, I don't use them. Pretty simple.


That sounds rather contradictory.  If I understand you correctly, if it "feels right," you address your dominant with an appropriate honorific, but not otherwise.  If the honorific is a reflection of that inner feeling, how is it not important?


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RE: How important is protocol? - 9/3/2007 1:50:14 PM   
CuriousLord


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quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

What role does protocol play in furthering a Dominant/submissive dynamic?  What is the importance to the relationship that the submissive/slave say "Sir," "Master," "My Lord," (or the feminine equivalants) when addressing the dominant?


You know, I haven't had many slaves that have ever referred to me by my given name.  Rather few people do, actually.

Importance, though?  Not so sure, haven't really thought about it.  Doesn't seem that important to me.  I can readily see how it reinforces the dynamic, though, which provides matience to positions that might otherwise have to find alternative sources of reinforcement.

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RE: How important is protocol? - 9/3/2007 1:53:37 PM   
IrishMist


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quote:

That sounds rather contradictory.  If I understand you correctly, if it "feels right," you address your dominant with an appropriate honorific, but not otherwise.  If the honorific is a reflection of that inner feeling, how is it not important?

Your original question asked what role protocol played in furthering the dynamic and what the importance was. Correct?

What I answered was pretty simple. I like protocol, if I am in a relationship, it's going to have strict protocol because that is what I like and perfer and I will not be with someone who did not expect the same. However, in the first months of meeting someone, if the words do NOT feel right when saying them, then I know that there is something missing...I will not use them for the simple reason that I take the word of Master seriously; and when I use it for someone; it means that I am serious.

Further more, there is no appropriate honorific. The only thing that is appropriate is what both feels is right between them.


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RE: How important is protocol? - 9/3/2007 1:54:09 PM   
celticlord2112


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quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie
No, protocols are not necessary.


How do you express your submissiveness to your dominant, then?


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RE: How important is protocol? - 9/3/2007 1:56:05 PM   
Archer


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Status: offline 		While I believe that almost everyone here would have the same relationship if they suddenly lost all protocol they ever had, I also believe that they would form their own new protocols as time went by.

Of course I'm comming from the possition that protocol is mearly an established manner of doing something, anything from coffee in the morning to presenting to greeting, to leaving, to laundry, to dishes etc. etc.

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RE: How important is protocol? - 9/3/2007 1:56:41 PM   
celticlord2112


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Status: offline 		Do you ever call him "Sir" in public?

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RE: How important is protocol? - 9/3/2007 1:59:27 PM   
CuriousLord


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Status: offline 		Actually, I'd like an OP clarification.  Does the OP refer to protocols in general, or, more specifically, the protocol for addressing a Dom?

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RE: How important is protocol? - 9/3/2007 2:00:17 PM   
AquaticSub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

What role does protocol play in furthering a Dominant/submissive dynamic? 

I'd say not much. Anyone go through the motions of protocol and not respect the person they are doing it for. The protocols we use, the few of them, we use because they just seem to fit.
quote:


What is the importance to the relationship that the submissive/slave say "Sir," "Master," "My Lord," (or the feminine equivalants) when addressing the dominant?

We don't see it as very important. I call him Valyraen as much, if not more than I call him Sir or Master.

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RE: How important is protocol? - 9/3/2007 2:00:45 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline 		Protocols in general.  Use of honorifics is merely the most obvious example.

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