RE: The Ever Tiresome Age Card

RE: The Ever Tiresome Age Card (Full Version)

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CreativeDominant -> RE: The Ever Tiresome Age Card (9/5/2007 6:41:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: psynymph THANK YOU!!!! thank you for actually reading what i wrote. i never meant to try to prove my opinion is the only right opinion. i voice my opinions to start debates and discussions not flame wars. can i stalk you too?lol Go for it, young lady...~grins~...then don't be surprised when age and cunning result in the stalker being the stalked.

MellowSir -> RE: The Ever Tiresome Age Card (9/5/2007 7:03:15 PM)
Any one of any age can learn, those who start learning while young, by the time they're older, obviously there's more experience there. Don't forget to walk in the older people's shoes too, can't say how many times I've been told I'm "too old", regardless of whether I'm experienced or not lol. Being older, age tends to mean LESS as time goes by, not more.... do you have relationships with older, or only with your age range...the pendulum swings both ways....

SusanofO -> RE: The Ever Tiresome Age Card (9/5/2007 7:05:05 PM)
I think there are younger people around whom I consider pretty astute, self-aware, and smart. I do think with age one gains experience - and that is worth something as well. Some learn from experience, some don't. I will say I have never sought out 21 year olds on this site. I like a few here (they are sweet, smart, etc) - but I am in my late 40's, and our life-experience gap is just too wide for me to attempt to bridge in a potential relationship, IMO. But it doesn't mean I think younger people are bad, or worthless - or any nonsense like that, it amounts to a personal preference, and that's all, really. I see considered and astute opinions from younger folks on these message boards. Some appear (to me) to be wise beyond their years, some not. Ditto for older people as well. But there is something to be said for having general life experience (if one learns from it), IMO. Personally, I am a heck of a lot calmer (most of the time) today than I was in my 20's - because I realize a lot of the stuff I worried about then doesn't actually amount to a hill of beans, in the long run. But that's just me. But I can also still ocassionally do stupid stuff, despite my age. - Susan

scifisub42 -> RE: The Ever Tiresome Age Card (9/5/2007 7:10:06 PM)
Ok, I've only read through the first page so far..... (scratches head) I don't see a problem here... and I can agree with not liking the age bias (age card). I can suggest one thing, though.. everyone is talking about how older people have more experiences, (lived more life) I don't think that's the issue so much as MATURITY.... which is a little different from experience, but experience often brings it forward.. and don't forget the hormones of adolescence... If a 20 year old dom contacts me, I have to admit that I'm pretty sure he's mostly looking to get laid, He's young, hormonal, and probably not thinking so much with the head on his shoulders.... (yep, that's a bonafide stereotype there, however, stereotypes happen because there are enough who act that way) However, I've also met 20 year old males that were pretty cool and neat to talk to As far as respect/relating to younger or older people in general (shrug) I don't think too much about their ages, but rather react to how they act.. I guess I mostly assume they are near my age (unless it's obvious they aren't) and I figure that everyone has something to teach/show you, and in some way you show/teach them.... I try to be polite to everyone (a smile and a 'please' can work wonders sometimes).... I guess that's respect, right? Everyone is free to believe whatever they want (opinion-wise) even if I don't agree with it.... HOWEVER, some things ARE wrong.... misconceptions about bdsm play, for instance. If you believe that it's ok to bind someone tightly (so tightly it's cutting off circulation and the limbs are getting cold) and then leave them alone while you go out to eat for a couple hours.--- I am SOOOO out of there that you'll hear a sonic boom: Twice as fast if I try to correct you on your misconception and you don't accept it... I guess that means I will respect and accept that someone has their opinions...But acting on bad information is a different thing, especially if it puts someone at risk... Or am I rambling here? scifi

BitaTruble -> RE: The Ever Tiresome Age Card (9/5/2007 7:10:59 PM)
~FR~ I think that young people tend to get a bit of disservice and do tend to get discounted for their age. That said, I invite the under 30's to teach. I'll be the student. This is a BDSM discussion board. Let's discuss BDSM. My mind is open to learning. Whatever you have to say, I'll listen and I hope to learn from you. I'll be happy to share as well and we can learn from one another. What is it that you want to say? What is it that you want others to know? You want your opinions respected, so tell me what your opinions are. Perhaps we'll agree, perhaps we'll disagree, but I'm putting out an open invitation to you. I'm ready and willing to read ... if you're ready and willing to type. (the other) Celeste

junecleaver -> RE: The Ever Tiresome Age Card (9/5/2007 7:11:30 PM)
I have never had a bad experience due to age...yet. If anything my age attracted a lot of handsome older peverts who enjoyed the fact that I was young and looked even younger. Every birthday makes me quite sad because it is one year further away from my former jailbait status. ;)

KMsAngel -> RE: The Ever Tiresome Age Card (9/5/2007 7:25:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: psynymph can i stalk you too?lol hehe, the line starts behind me for stalking him! [:D]

LATEXBABY64 -> RE: The Ever Tiresome Age Card (9/5/2007 7:25:53 PM)
the bonds we build are based on things we have in common i have nothing in common with someone at age 20. or someone 15 years my younger.. our taste are way different are ideas and philosophy's are different ... We would grow more apart as we would get older then together it just would not work no way no how

iammachine -> RE: The Ever Tiresome Age Card (9/5/2007 8:48:19 PM)
quote: i know... age is just a number. and i know to not make assumptions. It's kind of funny, the older I get, the less that I seem to know. I knew a whole lot when I was 16. I thought that I was hella mature. Those older than myself sang my praises, and still do. Seven years later, I feel much more Socratic. That is, all I know, is that I know nothing. I guess that's wisdom. Being put on a pedestal is no more realistic than being discounted due to age. Anyway, clearly, prejudice isn't good on any side of the fence. Fortunately, it's easy to tell someone to stick it and to move on.

LotusSong -> RE: The Ever Tiresome Age Card (9/5/2007 8:55:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Estring Ah, spoken like a true 21 year old. Exactly... boring, isn't it? Sort of reminds me of my little sister when she stamped her foot and said " I am TOO old enough!!!" You see, girl, this kind of drama is why I avoid youngers. Lucky youz, lucky me.

chellekitty -> RE: The Ever Tiresome Age Card (9/5/2007 9:29:14 PM)
as someone older and wiser (a ripe 24) who has been around internet bdsm for 7 years (2 years as an 18 year old) and for brevity lets just say 3 years in the real life community (been in r/l D/s relationships since 18, gone to r/l public stuff since 18, but wasn't able to "join" until 21)...and unlike you, i got pissed off and ranted and raved about people looking at me and going - you just a baby who don't know shit...well besides their english being atrocious...they were wrong! i did know stuff! i knew that it sucked to be me and that i didn't know how to find the right guy and as long as i kept being dismissed as just a youngin i was gonna keep being picked up by the few old dudes who would pay attention to me...and it was either that or the guys my age who got off and got off...so old dude who used and abused me but i got an orgasm out of it or young guy who used and dismissed me with no orgasm...the lesser of two evils? i just had no idea how to put that into words and i had no idea how to grab someone and go...help... but anyway...my rant on dismissing the youth in our communities... i have found that the easiest way to stop being dismissed for your youth is to stop reminding them and keep coming back...after a while, they forget...and time passes and before you're know it you too will be 23 and standing in front of a beer booth at a festival that says "We Card Under 30" and be thinking, shit i don't have my ID, then walk away without being carded and be pissed off...or maybe you will be one of those lucky bitches who's carded for cigs at 45....oh well... i wish i lived in a place where there were young people in the community...i am sure there are young people into bdsm in SA but the average age of the main group is like 45 or something, so not everyone my age wants to hang out with a bunch of old people ducks i happen to like old people...but then again, there is something to learn from everyone... good luck....illegitimus non carborundum... oh and prove them all wrong by sticking around...its like they freaking popped out of their mothers womb, middle aged and bitter....oh you wanna know something that fucks their world...when they start to go on a rant, honestly and sincerely ask them to share their experience with you so that you may learn from them... chelle

Bobkgin -> RE: The Ever Tiresome Age Card (9/5/2007 9:32:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: psynymph Age in NO way garauntees knowledge, experience, or status. i am rather sick of people, especially in this lifestyle but the gods know it can certainly be pertained to the wonderful vanilla world, telling me i am wrong simply because i am young. just because you didn't learn something until you were in your 40's does not, in anyway, mean that i can't learn it in my 20's. everyone's life experiences are different, VERY different. to pull the age card is to make a grievious assumption.... and well.... what is it that mommy always said about assuming? one cannot know everything. that would mean achieving perfection, nirvana, and as far as i know the only person to do that is well... Buddha... if you believe in that sort of thing, that is. i am very aware that because of my limited time on earth that i have probably experienced much less than those that have been here twice as long, but i also know, for a fact, that i have experienced ALOT more than some people twice my age. age is just simply a number. at best, it is a very lose guideline. but it does not factually speak of experience or knowledge. as far as i am concerned, those that pull the age card suddenly then become beneath my own maturity level. because i know... age is just a number. and i know to not make assumptions. i'm rather fond of not looking like a ass...... i mean... i like looking at asses, the wonderful curves behind a woman smirks but i dont necessarily want to appear to be one. Erm so yes.... thoughts on the shit i ramble about? Think of everything you've learned in your life. Learning to eat solid foods, to walk, to use a potty, to read, to write, to do arithemtic ... everything you have spent your entire life learning. Then add everything you will learn between now and 29. That is a lot of stuff you've learned and will learn. And that is how many years I have had to learn since I was 21. I tied up my first woman four years before you were born. Don't ever believe those of us who are older spent our lives in closets just waiting for another year to role by. Whether we were doing bdsm or not, we were still interacting with fellow adults before you were conceived. True, age is about how many times you've gone around the sun,. not what you've done with that time. But for most of your 21 years, you were a kid. For most of my fifty years, I've been an adult.

iammachine -> RE: The Ever Tiresome Age Card (9/5/2007 9:55:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bobkgin True, age is about how many times you've gone around the sun,. not what you've done with that time. But for most of your 21 years, you were a kid. For most of my fifty years, I've been an adult. Well said.

heartcream -> RE: The Ever Tiresome Age Card (9/5/2007 10:39:35 PM)
some kids do come out older and wiser in a way than some adults. considering the wisdom of an individual soul and how each generation has a lil more inherent operative consciousness. i 'look up' to kids in this way. sure that individual old soul will grow older, more experienced and prolly wiser. for me gettin older is very cool. wut sux holes is aging, imo.

psynymph -> RE: The Ever Tiresome Age Card (9/5/2007 11:32:00 PM)
sighs again i say.... do any of ya'll actually read what i write? i mean LatexBaby goes back to this random idea that i was in some way complaining about somebody twice my age not wishing to have a relationship with me.... where did this idea come from???? so again let me say... i completely agree with basically what he said.... i have no desire in entertaining a relationship with someone twice my age either for the same reasons he and others have listed. did you get that? i AGREE. And Bob, darling, hunny bunny..... you even directly quoted me but for some reason you still managed to put words in my mouth. Look at that handy dandy little quote box you used.... where in there does it say i think somebody older than me, has less knowledge than me? i did say- "i am very aware that because of my limited time on earth that i have probably experienced much less than those that have been here twice as long, but i also know, for a fact, that i have experienced ALOT more than some people twice my age." i can kinda of see how maybe that could be misconstrued.... but it really shouldn't be if you know how to read. i have met people older than me, by a couple years and by several, that have freely admitted to me that they believe i have more experience than them in something. i mean hell... i knew a woman that at the age of 43 was just discovering the lifestyle and wanted ME to teach her what i knew. imagine that.... i ,in no way, doubt or lessen the knowledge of my seniors. i respect those that are older than me. i respect those that are younger than me. i give the basic respect due to ALL humans no matter their age, race, culture, or beliefs. so again i say..... and let me put this in caps so it's easier for people to read and fully understand.... I ONLY DESIRE TO BE TREATED AS AN EQUAL and not judged simply by my age. that is why i started this thread. i mean... do ya'll read through the rest of the thread or just read certain posts? i at one point held up the internet equivalent of a white flag. Agree to disagree? im tired of defending myself against people who arent actually reading what i am saying. stop attacking me and lighten up. good gods.... ever heard of sarcasm?

psynymph -> RE: The Ever Tiresome Age Card (9/5/2007 11:48:01 PM)
oi so for the record.... that was officially my last defense. i am not backing down but i am going on a week long trip that will have me without access to the internet. besides i've said all that i can and want to say. i've never been one to strive to change other's opinions and that hasnt changed. attack if you wish. misinterpret and misconstrue however you like. whatever gets ya going bebes. i wont be answering simply because i dont enjoy banging my head against a brick wall plus well... i am going to be without internet. thanks to those that didn't take this thread all that seriously and possess a ounce of humor! to everyone else.... enjoy!

I1985 -> RE: The Ever Tiresome Age Card (9/6/2007 2:15:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64 the bonds we build are based on things we have in common i have nothing in common with someone at age 20. or someone 15 years my younger.. our taste are way different are ideas and philosophy's are different ... We would grow more apart as we would get older then together it just would not work no way no how I completely get you're point in that. It's quite unlikely that you would share you're tastes with someone half your age. But please don't assume it always is the case. If you don't want a relationship with someone so much younger, then that's you're good right. I have no interest in dating someone double my age either. But I think it's a bit easy, and faulty, to simply say someone so much younger can't share your tastes, ideas and philosophy's. Probably by far most won't, I sure doubt I would. But in everything there are exceptions. Here in the Netherlands there is this 'wonder kid' I believe he's 12 now, he's a master at playing the piano. He lives for his piano and the classical music he plays on it. Personaly I think that this boy never had a real childhood. He's very very mature for his age, he might as well be more mature then I am, but that is for a third party to judge. Please don't assume things purely based on age, if you're to close minded to see that, then have fun doing so. I know it's true in general, I won't question that. But that doesn't mean it's always the case. No 2 people are exactly alike, we are individuals, I love that. That makes us human, no matter what age....

Archer -> RE: The Ever Tiresome Age Card (9/6/2007 5:20:03 AM)
Spent last night at a curriculum night at the high school, Something the AP history teacher said applies here to the argument that the opinions of the young are discounted. Not All Opinions Are Worthy of Respect, some of them are based on faulty data or data so limited that it cannot support the opinion. I can freely discount the opinion that the Earth is flat. I can freely discount the opinion that disease is caused by angry gods. Now in both cases the idea that was replaced was long held by the OLD people, and put forth by somone younger was the new idea. Opinons are worthy of respect when they are shown to be based on something defensible. Many of the young today have been spoon fed self esteam to the point where they forget or never actually learn the basic fact in the last sentance. You don't have the right to any opinion you want, you have the right to have an INFORMED opinion respected. And before I grant that respect to your opinion I have the right to ask for supporting evidence that your opinion is based on something other than emotion and thin air. This is not to say that the Old don't fall for the same crap feel good self esteeam raising but common sense lowering trap. But they do so with far less frequency than the young. When a young or old person puts forth an opinion on X I expect them to be able to relate to me the evidence, documents, data colected, that support the opinion. Failing that support I feel perfectly free to discount the opinion and even hold it in contempt when it flies in the face of the available data. Opinions are not sacred they are to be challenged, and those that can withstand the challenge, those are the ones worthy of being respected.

Bobkgin -> RE: The Ever Tiresome Age Card (9/6/2007 6:12:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: psynymph so again i say..... and let me put this in caps so it's easier for people to read and fully understand.... I ONLY DESIRE TO BE TREATED AS AN EQUAL and not judged simply by my age. that is why i started this thread. i mean... do ya'll read through the rest of the thread or just read certain posts? i at one point held up the internet equivalent of a white flag. Agree to disagree? im tired of defending myself against people who arent actually reading what i am saying. stop attacking me and lighten up. good gods.... ever heard of sarcasm? The problem with sarcasm is that unless we know you well enough, we're not likely to catch it as such. I have no problem respecting your human rights. In that we are equal. But I do not see you as my equal when it comes to knowledge or experience. I'm not trying to say you have none of either, only that I have more. That is one advantage to having more years with which to learn and do stuff. You are right when you point out that some people are just starting their pursuit of bdsm and don't know as much as others who have done it for a while. From my point of view, you are just starting your pursuit. Granted you claim to have been at it longer than some, but not as long as others. Bottom line, though, is not how old you are, but what you can contribute to the discussion. It would appear to me you believe people look at your age and then decide to disagree with you because they don't believe anyone so young could be right. I suggest that when people read what you write and disagree with it, they may then look at your age and say "oh, that's why she said that.". I'm not saying everyone who disagrees with you is right. I'm just saying this "age card" may not be what you think it is.

chellekitty -> RE: The Ever Tiresome Age Card (9/6/2007 6:38:25 AM)
hey! you didn't reply to me! what about someone your own age who posted something positive and in te spirit of comradery...jeeeze...yougins these days...[:D]

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