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What's more important? - 9/5/2007 11:25:16 PM

sublizzie

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Joined: 5/26/2004
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If you could have a relationship where there was pure D/s with no sexuality involved, but a lot of emotional attachment, would you take it? Say you're a het female submissive would you be willing to submit to a gay male dominant even knowing there would be no sexual interaction at all? (This is truly hypothetical, not something I'm dealing with in my own life. Just was wondering about that kind of dynamic lately.)

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"cooking is my kink"

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Post #: 1

RE: What's more important? - 9/5/2007 11:27:57 PM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
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will there be BDSM involved and will i be able to fufill my sexual needs elsewhere?

(in reply to sublizzie)

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RE: What's more important? - 9/5/2007 11:56:58 PM

sublizzie

Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
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Meeting sexual needs elsewhere would be a given or something negotiated so the Dom would find a way for them to be met. S&M or bondage would probably depend on the dynamic, but I would assume someone would not get involved in a relationship that did not contain those aspects if they were wanted.

_____________________________

"cooking is my kink"

Collared June 19, 2008
(uncollared 12/21/09 with his death. RIP my Santa)

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 3

RE: What's more important? - 9/6/2007 12:18:45 AM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
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i suppose a part of my being as a submissive would be fulfilled, but as i am also
a sexual submissive, there would have to be an agreement that i would be
allowed that sexual outlet.

i think that if it is to be a long term relationship, i would seek one whom would
accept me sexually as well.

To role play or partake in a particular scene where there is no sexual nature
implied would be possible in the short term with limited satisfaction.

However, i'm a shameless hussy, and i would most certainly begin a complex
and spirited campaign of seduction to help said Dominant realize what it is
they would be missing.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to sublizzie)

Post #: 4

RE: What's more important? - 9/6/2007 3:26:58 AM

bandit25

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Joined: 6/18/2005
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Good topic. I don't think it would work for me...certainly not on a long term basis.

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RE: What's more important? - 9/6/2007 3:33:17 AM

imtempting

Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
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Its a simple fact of life everyone wants sex. Its why domme's and doms do orgasm denial etc. They know the sub wants it so they withold it untill they want to allow it.

Its why people pay to go to pro dommes for so that when they get home they can either have sex with their other or play with themselves thinking of it.

(in reply to bandit25)

Post #: 6

RE: What's more important? - 9/6/2007 3:51:05 AM

Twicehappy2x

Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
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No way. My sexuality is totally tied to the my submission.

I've tried sex with someone who was not my dominant partner and i might as well have been hanging dry wall.

In a M/s relationship i can never get enough of my Master so that would not work for me at all.

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

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RE: What's more important? - 9/6/2007 4:01:00 AM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie

If you could have a relationship where there was pure D/s with no sexuality involved, but a lot of emotional attachment, would you take it? Say you're a het female submissive would you be willing to submit to a gay male dominant even knowing there would be no sexual interaction at all? (This is truly hypothetical, not something I'm dealing with in my own life. Just was wondering about that kind of dynamic lately.)

Nope, not for me. For me, it's about the significant relationship in my life. He is my lover, my friend, my confidante, my partner, my sounding board, my helpmate and ...oh yeah...my dominant.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to sublizzie)

Post #: 8

RE: What's more important? - 9/6/2007 4:30:42 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

no cock? omg, hell no! helllllll no!

(in reply to feastie)

Post #: 9

RE: What's more important? - 9/6/2007 4:42:15 AM

Twicehappy2x

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Joined: 3/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

no cock? omg, hell no! helllllll no!

I'll see you that hell no and raise you a no fucking way and an Amen!!!!!!

ROFLMMFAO.........

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to came4U)

Post #: 10

RE: What's more important? - 9/6/2007 4:46:34 AM

kittensmailbox

Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline

i would do it.... My former Master could not have an erection…

< Message edited by kittensmailbox -- 9/6/2007 4:49:40 AM >

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~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten

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Post #: 11

RE: What's more important? - 9/6/2007 4:49:52 AM

Littlepita

Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
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I wouldn't do. For me sex and submission are intimately tied to my Dom, who I love and therefore willingly submit.

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“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to kittensmailbox)

Post #: 12

RE: What's more important? - 9/6/2007 4:55:52 AM

e01n

Posts: 1472
Status: offline

eh, it's 50/50 for me...

This new relationship that I'm exploring, I'm the Third in this couple, but the agreement is that only the couple has intercourse unless approved by all parties... So:

Might Not - the potential exists, so I'm encouraged. If that potential didn't, I don't know if I'd be so eager.
Might - I'm cool with it enough to pursue it on the strength of the relationship alone.

(in reply to Littlepita)

Post #: 13

RE: What's more important? - 9/6/2007 6:08:45 AM

petdave

Posts: 2479
Status: offline

As long as they were sadistic and an enthusiastic bondage Top as well as being Dominant, sure. My sexual-sexual needs are fairly minimal. If i could "only" express an emotional attachment through submission, it wouldn't be a big hardship, although i'd miss the touching.

(in reply to e01n)

Post #: 14

RE: What's more important? - 9/6/2007 6:18:40 AM

sexyred1

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No way. My submission is sexual, so that would not work.

(in reply to petdave)

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RE: What's more important? - 9/6/2007 6:44:07 AM

mbes

Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
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I wouldn't take the deal. When I feel "deep emotional attachment" of that variety, I wanna get laid!

Sexuality has always been a big part of my life, I wouldn't want to commit to someone with whom I couldn't express it.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 16

RE: What's more important? - 9/6/2007 7:04:29 AM

xoxi

Posts: 1066
Status: offline

Nooooo way. And none of this 'alternative sexual outlet' stuff either...the man I love is going to be the same man I share a bed with. In all ways.

Casual sex = bad sex in my opinion. There's no intimacy and no intensity of sharing emotions and truly being able to expose yourself because you're with someone who you trust, love, and cherish. I don't even enjoy random cock now, if anything I would find it even less fulfilling if there were a man who I actually loved. No random cock could compare.

(in reply to mbes)

Post #: 17

RE: What's more important? - 9/6/2007 7:27:29 AM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

Shoe on the other foot, I don't think I'd be happy long term, with a slave I couldn't enjoy sexually. Sexuality is such a deeply ingrained element of my passion, which is (in large part) why I express my passion through D/s and BDSM oriented interactions.

Stephan

_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to xoxi)

Post #: 18

RE: What's more important? - 9/6/2007 7:28:27 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I could handle a relationship without sex or sexuality.

I couldn't handle not having ANY relationships with sex or sexuality.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to xoxi)

Post #: 19

RE: What's more important? - 9/6/2007 7:30:36 AM

arayofsunshine55

Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline

Nah. This is all about sex for me. I am really not service-oriented although he would disagree.

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to sublizzie)

Post #: 20

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