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RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/6/2007 8:44:53 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		If we're talking about newbies as in 16 year olds, then I'd go with you.

Anything other than that, it's mostly people just ignoring all the good sense and knowledge they have learned IN LIFE and allowed themselves to believe that getting into Ds relationships is all different.

I didn't judge the road you have travelled- I said we ALL travel hard roads, so you can't say you have it any harder than anyone else. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to fifi)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/6/2007 8:59:45 AM   
BeingChewsie


Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline 		Stop cyber submitting. Stop playing a fantasy game. Meet this person in a public place for coffee, talk. If its cool, decide to meet for lunch or dinner somewhere, talk some more. Go out with this person regularly, interact with him in person, let the natural power disparity grow between you (if there is one). Don't force it, don't add in props to make it look like there is one. Take your time.

How can a person you have -never- met be your dom? See this is how people get manipulated and twisted, and its a choice. One you can choose to not make.

Don't be desperate for a relationship.

_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to fifi)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/6/2007 9:31:13 AM   
EclipseAbove


Posts: 220
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline 		fifi,

This will sound harsh but I think in the end it will help you out.

1.  Welcome to the internet.  There are many jerks here who can hide behind the anonymous nature of cyber-life and prey on people.  If you aren't prepared to deal with that and carefully screen who you interact with, then stay in real life.  Newbie or not, if you don't take responsibility for protecting yourself, then you get what you deserve.

2.  Doms are people.  We are not gods, perfect or anything else you may have conjured up in your understandable enthusiasm for your new found kink.  Stop putting people on a pedistal.  There are no "real" or "true" or "false" or "fake" Doms.  They are all just people (see #1 above) and they all have flaws.  Just because you have expanded your search for a partner to include the entire world (via the internet) doesn't mean that some other-worldly person is out there.  The world is still just filled with plain old ordinary people.  Some good and some bad.

3.  Talk to the person you are trying to have a relationship with.  Copy everything you have posted in this thread, paste it into an e-mail and sent it to your Master.  It is fine to communicate with the rest of us on the topic, but in the end if you don't talk to him, you are just wasting everyone's time (including your own).  We can't solve this for you.  We don't control him.  We can't explain why he has or hasn't done the things that you say.  You need to talk to him and try to resolve your issues with him...with him!  If that doesn't resolve things, then you will have a descision to make:  Either leave him or stay and accept how things will be.

I'm sorry that things have gone south in your relationship, but I think there are things you can do to help yourself out.  Best of luck to you.

(in reply to fifi)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/6/2007 9:34:42 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Cyber only? Disappears on you anytime you don't want to play? Sorry, he's definitely not in this for a real relationship. Move on, and next time make sure he's someone you can meet in a defined time span.

(in reply to EclipseAbove)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/6/2007 10:29:52 AM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		He is not ignoring you. He probably has at least one other cyber relationship going, and it's probably going better than the one with you. While you wait around for him to pay attention to you, he is happily paying attention to someone else. How long will you be a chump? 

_____________________________

Boycott Whales!

(in reply to fifi)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/6/2007 10:31:01 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		 You've known the guy for a matter of weeks, less than a month, not even 32 days... ( if I've read your journal correctly)........What relationship are you talking about?

agirl









(in reply to fifi)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/6/2007 10:55:05 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fifi
A total copout is saying that falling into the wrong hands is only a 5% chance.


I would say that a total copout is an adult saying that they "fell" into the wrong hands without owning their fair share of the responsibility for doing so.

quote:

Here I am as a newbie with no experience or knowledge of what to do and how, and I'm struggling, so I turn to the forum to learn and understand what others with the experience/knowledge have to say.    


If you are serious in this statement than you need to actually listen to the people who are trying to talk to you that do have the experience/knowledge. Don't say you want it and then dismiss it because it isn't what you want to hear.

Don't get into relationships online. If you want to meet people here, great...meet them....and then meet them. Don't profess your undying love, devotion or submission to someone you have never met. Keep your eyes open, your common sense about you and develop a relationship in real life with a real person just like you would outside of D/s....it's no different here.



_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to fifi)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/6/2007 11:03:11 AM   
mmb1


Posts: 304
Joined: 8/3/2007
Status: offline 		Sorry, but I think you are all being way too harsh on her!  She is expressing herself, which is fine, even if she is angry, and it seems she has a right to be, like we all get at times.  Let her go at her own pace and she will discover for herself, but I think she needs support not criticism :)  Just my thoughts.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/6/2007 11:08:51 AM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		She is asking for advice, we are giving advice. Should we sugarcoat it or be blunt to open her eyes? Which is more helpful?

< Message edited by Estring -- 9/6/2007 11:09:22 AM >

_____________________________

Boycott Whales!

(in reply to mmb1)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/6/2007 11:10:46 AM   
mmb1


Posts: 304
Joined: 8/3/2007
Status: offline 		Sometimes just being truthful in a nice way and supporting someone new is a nice thing to do......................You can be blunt and helpful and nice all in one!

(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/6/2007 11:11:31 AM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Exactly.

_____________________________

Boycott Whales!

(in reply to mmb1)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/6/2007 11:11:37 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		I'm sorry, but I don't think that group hugs and pity are helpful. She asked for advice from those who are experienced...I gave her mine. I would also suggest that if someone can not withstand constructive criticism from a total stranger online, maybe they are not quite ready to be involving themselves in complicated adult relationships.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to mmb1)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/6/2007 11:12:03 AM   
mmb1


Posts: 304
Joined: 8/3/2007
Status: offline 		She is going through what we all have, and giving her hard blows are not going to help.........IMO she needs support, honest support :)  Sorry, but that is just the way I operate.

(in reply to mmb1)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/6/2007 11:12:50 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		yeah, pet the imploders, it helps to no end.
Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to mmb1)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/6/2007 11:14:46 AM   
mmb1


Posts: 304
Joined: 8/3/2007
Status: offline 		What doesn't help is when you hand her negativity!  She is asking for help, and she should get that in a kind way, not sarcastic!

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/6/2007 11:15:50 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		ALL is a pretty broad term....and no, not ALL of us have. SOME of us develop relationships here in real life using common sense, sensible caution and emotional reservation and have realistic expectations.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to mmb1)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/6/2007 11:15:59 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL:mmb1
What doesn't help is when you hand her negativity!  She is asking for help, and she should get that in a kind way, not sarcastic!


Ah poor poor sub.  Stay with the master that treats you like crap.  It does wonders for your ego.  Is that better and more positive?

edite to add the quote and to say sorry, but I just can't not be sarcastic.

< Message edited by Aileen68 -- 9/6/2007 11:18:21 AM >

(in reply to mmb1)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/6/2007 11:16:49 AM   
MissSCD


Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline 		You may not have to worry about having a Master like that once he reads this post of yours.  Are you crazy?

Regards, MissSCD

(in reply to fifi)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/6/2007 11:18:07 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I am handing her tough love, look at my first post.  Look at my second.

Not negative, you have to live in the world you find yourself in.

There ain't many other places you can go.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to mmb1)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/6/2007 11:21:41 AM   
mmb1


Posts: 304
Joined: 8/3/2007
Status: offline 		Yes, that is all a big help to her!  I get so angry when people treat beginners like that, I did not say sugarcoat it, i said, you can be less harsh and honest and SUPPORT her in a kind way! But obviously, that is not happening, so.........go on and bash!

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 40
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