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RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/7/2007 3:54:34 AM

Redoubt

Posts: 185
Joined: 8/11/2007
Status: offline

To: Stephann, while I totally agree that cyber/phone is no substitute for the real thing, to urge someone who sounds like theyre just figuring things out to stop exploring what works for them and head on over to Kinkville, Realworld might be a little too much too soon.

To me cyber/phone is fantasy... like a gripping novel. And like any fantasy, it can excite and inspire you, or it can drag you off into a delusional world where you think "Hey, this is what it would be really like... 24/7!" and then when you try the real thing and go... hmmm.. no, that wasn't like the book... I'll stick to just reading thanks.

Cyber/Phone - totally has its place... as long as you remember that its fantasy... with Cyber, I can erase my "whoopsies"... when I'm playing with wax and give you a burn because I got sloppy... I can't use the backspace key and make it all better. But it can and does allow people to try on the role, and see if it fits for them... it can give them courage to explore things they might feel a little shy about bringing up in person. As long as they realize this is not always how it works in the real world... the real world can be delicious, exciting and overwhelming to all 5 senses, but it can also have its' "Whoopsies", be it your choice of partner or any sequence of unfortunate events that lead to heartbreak or unintentional physical harm. It can also be disappointing... that Dominant that gets you wet and ready to drop to your knees with every email, may not be able to translate that intensity into a real life situation.

If cyber doesn't do anything for you... then of course, don't do it. Its a form of play, a toy, if you will, that stimulates one of the largest erogenous zones - the brain. And if that toy doesn't satisfy you or your partner, then don't use it! But instead of teaching newcomers to spurn it as a tool and just leap in, which I feel is much less productive than teaching newcomers to explore it, I'd rather make sure they knew they have to keep themselves grounded when they play online or on the phone because most of it is nothing but fantasy play and if they ever want to cross over, to realize that the Real Thing(tm) can be 1000 times more exhiliarating and occasionally 1000 times more mundane.

To the OP, I hope the above addressed some of your question in passing... apologies for the mild hijack, but I believe it was somewhat related to your current quandary.

(in reply to arayofsunshine55)

Post #: 61

RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/7/2007 5:12:06 AM

divi

Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

well well well, just read your journal. Seems like you have a new Sir every month. I suggest when you feel you are being used as an online doormat sign off...yes log off honey. Keep some needlepoint next to your pc..

(in reply to Redoubt)

Post #: 62

RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/7/2007 5:21:35 AM

favesclava

Posts: 1608
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

when i first read the title i thought it was a medical condition.
then i wondered , very briefly , what would happen if i used that statement in regards of my Master. not a pretty picture at all.

(in reply to divi)

Post #: 63

RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/7/2007 5:23:38 AM

divi

Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

I agree clava. Why would you make that statement for anyone you were involved with..he should kick her to the cyber curb. Personally I love my men with balls lol..

< Message edited by divi -- 9/7/2007 5:25:07 AM >

(in reply to favesclava)

Post #: 64

RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/7/2007 5:30:56 AM

loverly

Posts: 236
Joined: 1/23/2004
Status: offline

fifi.... if its not making YOU happy or feeling good.. walk away girl! in the end it Never will believe me .. after 10 yrs i know this for a fact! life is too short being with ppl who make you feel like you do not matter.. and online is even harder! being ignored and then having excuses made for it to you( or not even Him bothering to do that !) is not real nor right. save yourself for the One who WILL care about your thoughts and feelings and not play games with you! for it IS a game what He is doing.. just.. when our hearts are involved its hard to see that i know.. perhaps be more careful in giving of Yourself over the computer.. maybe just look at it as a tool to learn for now and a way to meet like minded people? find an area group if locally and get OUT OF THE HOUSE and find out for real if this is hoe you wish to live your life.. there are plenty of nice people out there for real! just be real and be safe!! Good Luck!

(in reply to fifi)

Post #: 65

RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/7/2007 7:13:44 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: favesclava

when i first read the title i thought it was a medical condition.
then i wondered , very briefly , what would happen if i used that statement in regards of my Master. not a pretty picture at all.

I guarantee you...it wouldn't be pretty in MY world, cyber or real. If she had just brought her problem to the board with an "unnamed" Master in her journal, that would be one thing...but when you are carrying on about your Master in your journal, naming him for the whole world to see and then, not just hit a rough spot but seem to be stewing in s*%$ and bring that pot to the boards, it just doesn't seem respectful of him. Now, she may have lost all respect for him...that is fine...but what about the dynamic she served?

(in reply to favesclava)

Post #: 66

RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/7/2007 11:58:35 AM

fifi

Posts: 25
Joined: 1/5/2004
Status: offline

Hi,

Well firstly thank you all for replying with advice, views and suggestions. I can take criticism for those who think I cannot, all I was doing was explaining things from my point of view. As a newbie some of the advice to me seems a little dangerous, and sometimes those who have been in the lifestyle seem to forget how it is for a newbie-again this is just how I feel at the moment, I'm not criticising anyone, or judging anyone.

So, as for the questions over my journal. It was Master/Sir/matt, who suggested I put on my journal that I had meet him and how I felt about him, and that is what I did! This is how I felt at the time, and it is still how I feel now, just because things get tougher or harder doesn't mean my feelings change. Maybe I'm guilty of wearing my feelings on my sleeve and giving them so easily, sometimes I think we are all capable of this. This entry in my journal is something I feel strongly over, as another reason as to why I'm giving so much and not getting anything in return, I do know that this is not how a dom/sub relationship is, which is why up until now I've been happy to give, but to me, I feel he should have something on his profile which says he has meet someone, because like some of you have mentioned, I could be one of many subs.

I would also like people to know, who have commented on the fact that I seem to have posted this here without talking or trying to communicate with Master/Sir beforehand. I have sent him two detailed emails explaining how I felt in a nice controlled way, not as a criticisim or in a negative way, just things that I have been feeling and thinking. I would never talk about a problem to others without talking to the person I have a problem with first, its not in my nature!

I would also like to thank those whos advice has been supportive and understanding, because for some of the advice I have been given it seems very harsh, especially to a beginner, the thoughts that some people just seem to think I deserve to be punished, is just wrong to me. If a submissive cannot have any point of view over anything, that to me is just like having a relationship with a blow up doll. I am a person first and foremost with views, morals, ethics. I'm not going to just stop being that person because I've given my submission to a dominant, if I feel something is wrong then I will say so, its not everyday, or every week, its in time when I've thought about it, and realised how I've felt. I feel that speaking up if something is wrong is a good thing, otherwise its just abuse!

Also Master/Sir is aware that I'm fiesty, I don't think this is a bad thing. Its not like I'm like this everyday, but when I feel I have a place to say something is wrong, or even if something is right then quite frankly I will. Otherwise Sir/Master has nothing to guide how I'm reacting, feeling, enjoying, not enjoying.

Anyway, just thought you should all know some of these things. Again thanks for all the replies.

Fi x

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 67

RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/7/2007 5:56:52 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

Move on to someone who you can get along with and communicate with. If he can't appreciate your fiesty nature then your not the sub for him and if he can't communicate with you then he isn't the master for you.

Good luck,
~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to fifi)

Post #: 68

RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/7/2007 8:47:16 PM

kc692

Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fifi

Hi,

Well firstly thank you all for replying with advice, views and suggestions. I can take criticism for those who think I cannot, all I was doing was explaining things from my point of view. As a newbie some of the advice to me seems a little dangerous, and sometimes those who have been in the lifestyle seem to forget how it is for a newbie-again this is just how I feel at the moment, I'm not criticising anyone, or judging anyone.

So, as for the questions over my journal. It was Master/Sir/matt, who suggested I put on my journal that I had meet him and how I felt about him, and that is what I did! This is how I felt at the time, and it is still how I feel now, just because things get tougher or harder doesn't mean my feelings change. Maybe I'm guilty of wearing my feelings on my sleeve and giving them so easily, sometimes I think we are all capable of this. This entry in my journal is something I feel strongly over, as another reason as to why I'm giving so much and not getting anything in return, I do know that this is not how a dom/sub relationship is, which is why up until now I've been happy to give, but to me, I feel he should have something on his profile which says he has meet someone, because like some of you have mentioned, I could be one of many subs.

I would also like people to know, who have commented on the fact that I seem to have posted this here without talking or trying to communicate with Master/Sir beforehand. I have sent him two detailed emails explaining how I felt in a nice controlled way, not as a criticisim or in a negative way, just things that I have been feeling and thinking. I would never talk about a problem to others without talking to the person I have a problem with first, its not in my nature!

I would also like to thank those whos advice has been supportive and understanding, because for some of the advice I have been given it seems very harsh, especially to a beginner, the thoughts that some people just seem to think I deserve to be punished, is just wrong to me. If a submissive cannot have any point of view over anything, that to me is just like having a relationship with a blow up doll. I am a person first and foremost with views, morals, ethics. I'm not going to just stop being that person because I've given my submission to a dominant, if I feel something is wrong then I will say so, its not everyday, or every week, its in time when I've thought about it, and realised how I've felt. I feel that speaking up if something is wrong is a good thing, otherwise its just abuse!

Also Master/Sir is aware that I'm fiesty, I don't think this is a bad thing. Its not like I'm like this everyday, but when I feel I have a place to say something is wrong, or even if something is right then quite frankly I will. Otherwise Sir/Master has nothing to guide how I'm reacting, feeling, enjoying, not enjoying.

Anyway, just thought you should all know some of these things. Again thanks for all the replies.

Fi x

Maybe I missed something,,,,,did you ever tell us who the hell Chili is?

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to fifi)

Post #: 69

RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/7/2007 8:53:46 PM

angelic

Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline

~fr~ and quick question. i have not read any posts so if this has been asked and answered, i apologize.

Why are you with someone who treats you like this?

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci

(in reply to fifi)

Post #: 70

RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/7/2007 10:26:40 PM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

Going by this earlier example of your behavior and "relationship" so far...
-----------
Hi everyone,

Well I feel its only right to thank you all for replying, and making me feel so welcome. The community here is excellent. I also feel it is right I should update you all.
Firstly I believe I over reacted, (i'm one of these types who cannot bare silences from their dom's-it drives me mad, in fact worse than that it makes me go insane) Sir wasn't talking to me for a few hours and I turned into some crazy slave who demand attention and start to think other things where going on, with another sub etc. (I know I must curb my emotions)

So what happened was nothing that I thought had happened, and in fact slave just added more stress to Sir's day, instead of making Sirs day go smoothly. So what was it all over, Sir was working late, and didn't have time to let me know, he worked all through the night and was awoken to my constant demands early the following day. Sir had had no sleep and was knackered, un top of which he had to deal with his bratty slave.

Thank you all for replying, I guess as a newbie slave she must learn more from Sir and all the people in this kinky lifestyle. I have no doubt I will be here posting again at some point.

Love slave fi xx
-----------

... added to how quickly you signed up here and found the Perfect Master described in your journal, I have to say you look to be getting exactly what you deserve.

Who would put up with behavior such as you describe yourself as being prone to above? Your becoming this attached and "insane" acting in around a month of online contact indicates a maturity level well below your claimed age. Frankly, you sound like the sort of high schooler who would sit in their car outside their "One Month Anniversary" boyfriend's house watching to see if they were home because they didn't call when they said they would... for a vanilla comparison.

Being a "newbie" in this lifestyle means nothing in this situation. Your behavior wouldn't be socially acceptable in an adult vanilla relationship.

Is he possibly being terribly rude and in other ways thoroughly wrong right now? Sure, I 100% grant that that may be so.

But your posts point big red flags at you. At very best you jumped foolishly and immaturely into a relationship and are continuing that emotional and behavioral standard. If you want things to be better, fix that, move on, don't repeat it.

I'm not saying these things out of any malice, but because addressing your responsibility in this will increase your future happiness and safety.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to angelic)

Post #: 71

RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/8/2007 1:37:48 AM

vegas0623

Posts: 29
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline

You're frustration is understandable, I'm a newbie too, been there done that (lord did it hurt and yes I was very disappointed when my cowboy closed his account without even a goodbye), most of the posters here have at one time or another experienced what you're going through, regardless how poorly you feel you're being treated, it doesn't justify publicly roasting your s/o for lack of a better word, not even to vent.

You have only been conversing with this Dom for a few weeks, and while you might be head-over-heels for this person it does not necessarily mean that he feels the same. You have communicated your feelings and he has not responded, you need to consider that he might just be too cowardly to say "this is not working out, goodbye." Cut your emotional ties and move on to someone that is more compatible, you will meet that Dom eventually if you keep looking and don't settle.

See this as a positive learning experience to becoming a better sub, and learn not to jump in with both feet so quickly.

EDITED TO INCLUDE:

Okay...I just read the OP's post directly above. and I have changed my mind...IMHO - grow the hell up, stop acting like an immature brat and yes...you need and very good spanking, perhaps even an ass whipping as suggested earlier.

< Message edited by vegas0623 -- 9/8/2007 1:55:51 AM >

(in reply to RumpusParable)

Post #: 72

RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/8/2007 4:23:26 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

Master has no balls...oh my.

Sometimes the titles of these posts say more about the OP and the situation.

If I were a man and some gal I knew thought to verbally castrate me on a public forum, I would be just as hesitant to get involved with her as he seems to be previous to this. Maybe he doesn't communicate because he saw this anger issue/need for control in you long ago. If he hasn't, he will now LOL.

I can almost hear the 'clunk clunk' of his nuts hitting the ground because of the forementioned statement.

(in reply to vegas0623)

Post #: 73

RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/8/2007 4:30:04 AM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

Being a "newbie" is no excuse for acting like a complete dickhead. Shut up and go find another Dom who'll put up with your stupid, public tantrums. Good luck on that!

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.

(in reply to came4U)

Post #: 74

RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/8/2007 4:33:25 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

ouch

lol

<passes Miss Magnolia a coffee, no more for me..that post scared the bejezzus outta me LOL.

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 75

RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/8/2007 4:36:36 AM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

Sorry sugar, c'mere and I'll let you sit on my lap.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.

(in reply to came4U)

Post #: 76

RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/8/2007 4:39:11 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

But you haven't any balls, and isn't that the purported crux of the issue, here at hand?

LOLOLOL,
Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 77

RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/8/2007 4:40:42 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

I'z too scared now. lol

I might pee on ya., I'm gettin old, omg, anyone else not doing kegels lately and pee if ya sneeze???

<hides from the scary Lady hehe

ps! Ron, if I had balls, I wouldn't be here, I'd be playin wiff em all day long.

< Message edited by came4U -- 9/8/2007 4:41:36 AM >

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 78

RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/8/2007 7:24:53 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

fast reply---one other thing you might want to consider: there is a difference between being a doormat and being a submissive who wisely knows the proper way to vent.

There is also a big difference between being feisty and being a spoilt brat who can "act" submissive as long as things are going completely her way with her dominant dominating her in just the manner she finds appropriate.

(in reply to came4U)

Post #: 79

RE: Master has no balls.... - 9/8/2007 7:47:05 AM

ehlovindom

Posts: 248
Joined: 1/23/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fifi

Yeah it would be funny if it was a joke. But I'm sick and tired of being treated like a doormat. Yes I'm fiesty deal with it. I love being submissive, I love pleasing people (yes a general term, family, friends, lovers etc) I will do anything I can to make everyone elses live fun,easier, enjoyable.

But I will not take being ignored for no reason, I will not take trying to talk to 'someone' who refuses to join in and just signs out. How do you work through problems when the other person just keeps on running away?

And before all you masters out there jump down my throat, as far as I'm aware I'm not being punished. So I count this kind of behaviour as down right rude and disrespectful. Funny how if it was a submissive acting like this they would be punished, but when its a dom, a submissive has to take it as part of the kinky lifestyle. I'm sorry, NO! Manners and treatment of human beings does not stop just because your a Dom.

God! if you can't tell already, I'm seriously angry. How do I get past this and communicate with this person, when they just continually shut down? I've explained how I felt in an email, in a nice, controlled, way. (Not like I am now-yeah I have anger issues I hear you bellow!) I do all that is asked of me, and get nothing in return, just empty promises. I have no problem doing these things either, but I draw the line when for the x's amounts of time I do everything that is asked of me, and what is promised in return never, ever materialises.

Whats a girl to do with master like this?

Leave?

_____________________________

Know which bridge to build, which one to cross, and which one to burn!

(in reply to fifi)

Post #: 80

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