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I'm interested in your opinions - 9/11/2007 10:04:17 AM   
kshearsecouple


Posts: 171
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline 		  I ran across a  couple of threads that had to do with the financial  aspect of owning a slave.  Weather or not they should work outside the home; if they do work outside the home how much should they contribute things like that.
I guess my questions  kind of stem from the other threads.
I want to know from the board in your opinions should the Primary couple/Master/Mistress make a certain amount of money to even consider taking on a 24/7 slave/sub? I understand the concepts of being stable and not bringing on a third party casue you can't make the bills. I also undestand every situation is diffrent, but from the money aspect of things should there a set amount brought into the home?
I posted this here becasue I'm curious on all answers from subs/slaves Dom/me and such
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/11/2007 10:06:32 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It really depends on what you want in your situation.  It's not amount of money that matters- it's level of income and protection to make sure everyone is secure.  A live in slave can still work and have their own paycheck and provide their own insurance and retirement plan and all that- IF that's what you want to set up.

So figure out what situation you want to set up, and then make sure you have what's necessary to provide that for everyone.   

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to kshearsecouple)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/11/2007 10:18:44 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		For Tom and I we would never consider adding another person until we were financially stable -- that's exactly what we did.

Fox then has an obligation to not be a financial burden on us so he contributes a set amount of money to cover his energy use, food use, things like that only.

However given that he has been with me now for almost 8 years we as a family have been talking about all three of us owning the next house -- thus it being three incomes that contribute to it. At that point a new person would be expected to behave like Fox has -- no financial burden on every one else in the household.

How exactly that plays out will depend on the work we each have. When I'm teaching fulltime it may be more possible to have someone who primary function financially is to take care of all of my current household chores thus freeing me up to focus on work or on relaxation. However I personally would want them to have at least a part time job. I could get hit by a car tomorrow, you've read this before from me, so any slave of mine needs to be able to support him/herself. Staying at least in the workforce is a good step toward that. Plus why we might be able to support another person they wouldn't be saving money, their expenses as they live now would merely be covered.

Not to mention that it's a rare person nowadays who has no debt. I don't think anyone of us would cover a new person's debts. I'm married and I don't even expect my husband to cover my debts from before our marriage -- I've paid those off with my teaching salaries. Any debt acquired by mutual consent of the pair or family is a pair/family obligation in my opinion.

But it goes beyond the finances to me. Imagine that I'm incredibly wealthy and could easily not just support a slave but also set aside money to support them should something happen to me. To be a fully functioning adult I think they need to have external interactions and experiences. A job can be part of that but so can classes, charity work, clubs, etc. Plus it helps a person be more interesting. My slaves are just to fuck or work, I want them to be interesting to me and even helpful or challenging intellectually at times.

I'm rambling again.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to kshearsecouple)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/11/2007 10:19:25 AM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline 		i would agree with LA, it all depends on you and what sort of situation you consider ideal. there are some Owners who are financially "kept" by their slaves...most often you see this with m/F dynamics tho. there are some Owners who would not permit a slave to work under any circumstances, even if that means being perpetually in the poorhouse. in our household, my Master wishes to bring in the vast majority of our income, and if i contribute at all it's by a means completely under his control...meaning, that he has no desire for me to work for some company or for anyone else but him. He would be one of those who would likely say that if you cannot financially afford to keep a slave, do not own one. but that it is also a Master's right and whim to use their slave for profit.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/11/2007 10:47:09 AM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		No.  What matters is that the income cover the bills with enough left over to live (whatever that means to you).  That matters for my household as it stands now, the potential live in slave as he stands now and the combined. 



_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to daddysprop247)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/11/2007 10:54:47 AM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		Things need to blance to work. Everyone needs to pull thier wieght with some sort of contribution. The worst kind of "slaves" are ones who expect to be enabled, the way you would a small child. Beware of that sort-they are nothing but trouble.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kshearsecouple

I ran across a  couple of threads that had to do with the financial  aspect of owning a slave.  Weather or not they should work outside the home; if they do work outside the home how much should they contribute things like that.
I guess my questions  kind of stem from the other threads.
I want to know from the board in your opinions should the Primary couple/Master/Mistress make a certain amount of money to even consider taking on a 24/7 slave/sub? I understand the concepts of being stable and not bringing on a third party casue you can't make the bills. I also undestand every situation is diffrent, but from the money aspect of things should there a set amount brought into the home?
I posted this here becasue I'm curious on all answers from subs/slaves Dom/me and such



_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to kshearsecouple)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/11/2007 11:17:50 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		I think this is another topic that we can sometimes make more important or deeper our thoughts and actions in this matter as it retains to this life but the truth is whether who works in the relationship and how the money is managed is based on a combination of personality, insecurity, upbringing, cold hard financial reality and goals based in good old couple or more living together whether us or “regular” folks.

It all depends on how these things play out in your life and what agree/comfortable/desire to. Need to work to pay the bills, have health insurance or to protect yourself if you are not married or a third or more in a poly situation. Do both believe that a man is support their woman and/or carry that forward to dominant should support the submissive. Do the people want to strive for financial freedom, live in a certain neighborhood and things of that nature.

My own experiences is my former Master would have always insisted on me working regardless of our financial situation because he did not want a stay at home slave for reasons I will not list to save flames and my current Master would prefer that sometime in the future that I do not work.

My own opinion is until I am legally protected that I continue in my career path plus health insurance makes this not a decision at this time. As far as contributing money, my current Master is fortunate enough not to need me to contribute but since I moved into his house I feel very uncomfortable not contributing money and we have had several long drawn out discussions of trying to work on this issue.

To sum up hard financial reality and good old human beings culture and experience trumps the this life theory when it comes to work and money.


_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/11/2007 11:22:43 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		My requirement for my slave was that she only had one Master - ME. My 24/7 meant that she was at my beck and call 24/7. Whether that meant she accompanied me on a last minute business trip or I wanted her to stay up all night painting my dungeon, I required that there was no other obligation in her life that superseded my authority, or provided a reason why my demands could not be met. 

Since I also required that any potential slave was intellectually and emotionally compatible and well as physically stimulating I knew it would require my slave to sacrifice any outside career pursuits. I expected the search would be long and frankly never thought it would result in finding a compatible partner. The fact that I did speaks more to fate than to expectation or effort.

Regarding the money side - that answer is easy. Whatever your goal is for a slave, don't get one until you can afford one. Don't set yourself up for failure by expecting a 24/7 slave who serves another "master", albeit for legitimate, or pragmatic reasons. I eliminated all the outside influences which could generate an excuse not to fulfill my expectations, planning and putting forward a path for success versus unrealistic expectations.

I understand and appreciate those who take the opposite approach who have a slave's service extend to supporting the Master financially. My position may be influenced by desiring a 'traditional' male dominant household; where a naked slave, a nice drink, and some hor'dourves greet me when I come home. I think there is a similarity to a "50's Household" but our evenings are nothing like "Ozzie and Harriet" and more like "Ozzy and Sharon".

It's worked FANTASTIC for us, your mileage may vary.

(in reply to kshearsecouple)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/11/2007 11:45:47 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~

We don't believe you have to be earning a certain amount of money before you can be in a m/s or d/s relationship. Valyraen and I started dating in college and transitioned into a 24/7 dynamic after he graduated. Were we supposed to break up until he found a good job? We are figuring out how to pay the bills as we encounter them. I'd rather have him and money be tight than serve fat wallet number five just because he is pulling down a great income.

My .02

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/11/2007 12:00:54 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		I expect an adult to pay their own way, unless there is some medical reason why they cannot... and even then, they'd need to be bringing in disability pay or such.  Two reasons:  I can't afford to pay the way of another adult and I believe on principle that an adult should have a means of contributing to a household financially (and also have a way to support themselves should things not work out, a safety net).

If a slave is living with me I expect them to turn over full control of their finances to me and a savings plan and allowance is set up for them.  The rest goes into the home... but most important, I have full say (I'm only interested in TPE for live-in slaves, anyhow).

But of course, what works and is appropriate for anyone else and their partners and relationship types has to be worked out for them.  I can't speak on what "should" be done financially with a slave/sub, only what *I* prefer.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to kshearsecouple)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/11/2007 12:44:38 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		If you are going to be financially responsible for anyone you need to ensure their is enough money to support all involved. I have recently taken on another dependant (a friend of my unmentionable) but her parents provide for her financially. I personally at this moment could definately not afford to support anyone other than myself, my um and my hamster lol.
Slightly off topic but if i was to become a 24/7 slave live in then i would still expect, want to support myself. I have a good career and i really do not want to give that up although i would never say never.
On the other side of the coin i dont think i would want to support Sir either. Not really sure why and again i would never say never but its just not for me.
I do not have any objections to Sir making money off me, hiring out etc but other than that i feel, in my opinion it is a two way street.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to RumpusParable)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/11/2007 3:18:34 PM   
Helios001


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline 		I think that the general concensus is, "it depends on your situation."

I've known 24/7 couples in which the submissive has worked independantly -- in fact, I think all of them, that was the case, except for one in which the submissive worked as a stay-at-home mother.

And as far as the financial situations of a Master goes?

I've seen a lot of people who want a Master who is "financially stable," and that's a perfectly legitimate concern. And it isn't really any different than a vanilla relationship.

Myself? I'm a Dom (mostly) and I can say that I am not necessarily financially stable... But I am emotionally stable, and I have my life in order.

Aren't those the more important things? Or do we have to refer to the age-old statistic that states that women are, above all, attracted to wealth?

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/11/2007 3:39:04 PM   
TheScrivener


Posts: 91
Joined: 8/11/2007
Status: offline 		I'm of the belief that Dominants should be established, with a solid financial base, before bringing in a slave, especially in regards to relocation.  This is a big part of why I'm not currently interested in taking anyone on:  I'm a college student living in an apartment with a heap of drunkards.  It's just not the right time for me.  Not yet.

That said, I also believe that slaves should always have an outside occupation, whether that occupation is a part-time job to cover basic expenses, or a full-time career.  There are multiple reasons for this belief.

  1. If I take on a slave, I want his or her prescene in my life to make my life easier and more enjoyable.  If I am providing for that person financially, no matter how much mental and physical pleasure their submission to me may grant, they will always be a strain on my financial well-being.
  2. If you have a live-in "24/7" relationship, a slave that never leaves the house is going to go stircrazy.  It's a simple concept.  Having a job not only provides a paycheck to help pay for a variety of luxuries and necessities, it also provides social interaction for a person that generally spends their time servicing the needs and wants of another.  No matter how long-term you think a relationship will be, it's important to stay well-rounded.
  3. Having a slave that works allows you to spend more money on luxuries, both kinky and vanilla.  A 500 dollar plus piece of kink equipment is a lot more appealing when you're not digging strictly into your own pocket to obtain it, unless you're very much in the green.

If I'm going to be working full-time, I see no reason my slave shouldn't be working as well, if only in a part-time capacity.

_____________________________

"We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution."

- Bill Hicks


(in reply to kshearsecouple)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/11/2007 4:22:29 PM   
goodpet


Posts: 458
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline 		If the slave is to be "kept" then the Master has to be finanically able to provide for them, including savings, investments, bills, retirment, health.. and so on..

If the slave is more a permanent partner then i find it is usually more like a vanilla marrage arrangement.. shared income and shared obligations..

if the slave is more an relationship or addition to the family then we have seen more roommate situation concerning finanices.. they pay rent and  a portion but are expected to cover most of their own needs.. Kink costs often are covered by the Master but vanilla needs are their own..

Griffin and i are in the permanment partner arrangement.. i work full time, and it all goes to him.. we don't look at His money or my money.. but more it is the household budget.. from there all, including mine, bills, investments, retirement, savings and help to our college sons, are all taken care of.. .. mortgage, boat slip, insurance....  dang the list is long...

lorrie has been added to the family and is soon to be collared.. she pays rent and other helps.. we cover most of the travel and living costs for kinky events but not entrance fees.. that might change with the collar....

it's what works.. but someone has to be able to pay the bills.....

(in reply to TheScrivener)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/11/2007 5:17:27 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Before last year I could say I was debt free, and once I pay it off I will be so ag ain.
quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

Not to mention that it's a rare person nowadays who has no debt

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/11/2007 5:27:56 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		while being emotionally stable is a good thing too, I wouldn't choose someone who wasn't at least finacially stable enough to have bills payed every month, even if it was going to be a tight squeeze, nor someone so finacially unstable as to have me have to pay for his half of entertainment and mine*all* the time. They have to have enough spare income to support their half of entertainment, on the rare times we go out.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Helios001

Myself? I'm a Dom (mostly) and I can say that I am not necessarily financially stable... But I am emotionally stable, and I have my life in order.

Aren't those the more important things? Or do we have to refer to the age-old statistic that states that women are, above all, attracted to wealth?


(in reply to Helios001)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/11/2007 6:04:24 PM   
arayofsunshine55


Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline 		They "should" be able to afford it.  Whatever that means to them.  I'm not eating rice and beans every day cause we have too many mouths to feed.

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to kshearsecouple)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 5:50:26 AM   
BDsbabygirl


Posts: 115
Joined: 7/9/2007
Status: offline 		Big Daddy and I plan on marrying one day and we plan to do it like a lot of vanilla households do these days, with each of us working and contributing but also having pocket money for our own individual desires. I know that his ideal would be for us to have a business together, so we are actually hoping for that. Meanwhile, we met while working at the same place, but we're both now unemployed and we'll only take on a job if we both work there.

_____________________________

~ Captured by My Dominance, enslaved by My love ~ -- Big Daddy
Collared by Master Big Daddy on Monday, 7/23/07 at 2:35pm

Into scat play? Boycott shampoo; demand the real poo!

(in reply to arayofsunshine55)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 6:04:00 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Helios001

I think that the general concensus is, "it depends on your situation."

I've known 24/7 couples in which the submissive has worked independantly -- in fact, I think all of them, that was the case, except for one in which the submissive worked as a stay-at-home mother.

And as far as the financial situations of a Master goes?

I've seen a lot of people who want a Master who is "financially stable," and that's a perfectly legitimate concern. And it isn't really any different than a vanilla relationship.

Myself? I'm a Dom (mostly) and I can say that I am not necessarily financially stable... But I am emotionally stable, and I have my life in order.

Aren't those the more important things? Or do we have to refer to the age-old statistic that states that women are, above all, attracted to wealth?



I would say that financial stability relates to you not t anyone else you want to have a relationship with.

If you can't control your spending, if you constantly worried about bills or fees for late payments, this will distract you from the necessary duties you should take on as a dominant.

The same goes for a submissive in my opinion. If someone is worried about bills or debts, lives only pay check to paycheck, how can he truly submit to another if he is so concerned with his own financial problems or issues?

Financial stability however is not merely a matter of the individual. If your company goes under or the general economy turns sour, it will affect you too. So once you are in a relationship, Ds or not, you'll need a clear understanding of who is responsible for what.

Build your relationship on as much stability as possible including both emotional and financial then when things shake up or change (and they will) you have a firm foundation to survive on.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Helios001)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: I'm interested in your opinions - 9/12/2007 6:06:13 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

Before last year I could say I was debt free, and once I pay it off I will be so ag ain.
quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

Not to mention that it's a rare person nowadays who has no debt



You just proved my point.

Finances change. People go in and out of debt, the degree of debt varies. Shouldn't each adult be responsible for her own debt acquired before a relationship? Shouldn't part of being in a relationship involve at least discussion of any future debt acquired? And if not, why should the one not consulted or in agreement be held responsible for said debt? (If you are married there are legal reasons of course)

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
Profile   Post #: 20
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