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RE: If is isn't about Acts, what is it about? - 7/22/2005 7:46:08 PM   
Lordandmaster


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It's D.C. Dennett, not D.C. Dennet. And if you look up the title on any internet book site (that is, if you'd rather not go to the library), you will see the book she is talking about.

If you're SERIOUSLY interested in Dennett, and not just talking through your hat, I recommend this book:

Ross, Don, et al., eds. Dennett's Philosophy: A Comprehensive Assessment. Cambridge, Mass.: MIT Press, 2000.

< Message edited by Lordandmaster -- 7/22/2005 8:00:59 PM >

(in reply to Noah)
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RE: If is isn't about Acts, what is it about? - 7/22/2005 8:25:44 PM   
tabularasa


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quote:

ORIGINAL:
Noah
I hope we aren’t done yet with hearing from people addressing the original question in terms of ideas and emotions. To restate the original open question: are there any ideas or emotions which are powerfully central or fundamental to your experience of submission or dominance. Perhaps so importantly that some of the other aspects of BDSM take their meaning through these, for you?

There are several likely suspects. No doubt each of us embodies some combination of these but again I’m asking if anyone feels that one or a few in particular are the lynch pin(s) of their personal experience.

* The raw exercise of power, administered or received. I certainly enjoy this.

* A sense of escape. One that might be deeper or more meaningful—or might not—than the escape found in watching sitcoms, reading novels, running marathons or what-have-you.

* A sense of belonging to a community and perhaps in particular a marginalized community
Subheadings would include:
*Chance to help or teach
*Chance to feel like a big fish in a small pond
*Milieu for expression of exhibitionism

And these are subheadings only according to one view. Any one of them could itself be cen*tral or fundamental to a given person’s experience.

* A license to hurt (top or bottom.) Maybe even a desire to hurt which has nothing to do with consent but which finds ready expression under the banner of SSC or RACK, etc.

*A shortcut or anyway a potentially very efficient route to intimacy (not that BDSM actions can’t be undertaken quite impersonally)

* The endorphin buzz

More please?


I was slightly dismayed to find that none of these really resonated deeply with me, at least not at first reading. But perhaps I'm impatient. Two of them--receiving the raw exercise of power and the efficient route to intimacy--are probably exhilarating aspects of participating in d/s for me, but I hesitate to call either a linchpin. It could be that I am embarrassed to admit I'd like or need a shortcut to intimacy. In any case, the latest bit I've read that made me gasp in delighted recognition is this snippet, lifted from another site:
quote:

It [submission] makes me feel like most women feel when their neck is being kissed. Picking up his dry cleaning makes me feel the same way another woman might feel by having her blouse torn open in a fit of passion. Polishing his boots made me feel like he was holding me close and nibbling on my ear.
Maybe someone better than me at categorizing things can tell me: does the described feeling fit in one of the aforementioned categories? Is there some other obvious central emotion or idea that it expresses? Thanks in advance...

< Message edited by tabularasa -- 7/22/2005 11:00:21 PM >

(in reply to Noah)
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RE: If is isn't about Acts, what is it about? - 7/23/2005 1:27:28 AM   
GentleLady


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quote:

One observation that comes quickly to mind while reading your post is a contrast between how you describe the way you want to relate to the events surrounding you (to control them) on the one hand and the way I envision these things for myself. Rather than being in control of them in some fairly straightforward way I envision something more like, maybe, surfing on them, on the chaos when it is chaos. Or. when it is less chaotic (a good thing) I might describe it as sailing in the direction I want to go, with the crew I choose, on the waves and currents and amid the winds that prevail.

Hello Noah

Your boat metaphor makes perfect sense with my world view if you take into account the fact that you are controlling the boat. That is the area that I need to keep control of because everything outside that boat is chaos that cannot be controlled. So long as my personal intimate environment is secure then I can ride the waves easily. But bear in mind that what I need to feel secure within myself may look extremely unsecure to those standing outside me.

I cannot control the things that happen in my life but I can control how I react to them and respond to them. By staying calm myself I can deal with whatever crisis or problem has occured. To maintain that calm reaction I require an area of peace and quiet where I can draw strength on a daily basis. Without it I tend to react from a purely emotional standpoint instead of looking at what has happened logically and exploring the various options of dealing with it. One of the ways I maintain that inner calmness is through interacting as a Dominant with my submissive.

I think we are saying the same thing with different words. You speak of 'surrendering' to the elements of life and I call it 'accepting' the reality of life. The same concept but different words. And both of us know that by surrendering/accepting, we are made stronger and actually remain in control because we are not swamped by life.

It took me years and a lot of pain to learn that some things had to be accepted. I had spent most of my life waving my fist in the air in utter defiance. Living became a lot more enjoyable once I figured out how to plot my way through the shoals and over the reefs. I have also discovered that I grow the most from the things I must accept and cannot change, which has given them value. I no longer avoid the hard choices and decisions because I know I can weather them. But, to return to the original question, I do not think that this makes me Dominant. It might (and I emphasize might ) make me a better Dominant then I would have been but it does not make me Dominant. It is however the area where I feel my Dominance the most.

Gentle Lady


_____________________________

All things are possible to those who have patience, try, and are willing to learn.

(in reply to Noah)
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RE: If is isn't about Acts, what is it about? - 7/23/2005 1:50:22 AM   
GentleLady


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quote:

Then, one very insightful (to me) poster raised the spectre of a certain sort of internal act which might (or might not) by its very nature be submissive.


I think that mistoferin's statement might be very accurate. And I am sure that I have read at least one other submissive (My apologies because I cannot think of your name right off) say the same thing. I have been reading the posts and trying to define what makes Me Dominant as opposed to submissive or what I can do that a submissive could not do. Then I turned the question around and re-read what mistoferin had pointed out about the act of submission itself. A submissive can do something (and it is an internal process) that I am not capable of doing. When a submissive makes a conscious decision to submit they accept the right of their Dominant to make choices for them.

I need to say this a different way. If I (as Dominant) decide that X is the right choice then the only way to change that decision is to show Me facts that I did not have at the time or show Me a better way. With additional information that indicates that Y is the better choice then I will change My decision. However, I expect My submissive to take My word for it and not argue that he believes that W is the better choice. He must accept My decision whether he agrees with it or not. This is something that I am not capable of doing.

Gentle Lady


_____________________________

All things are possible to those who have patience, try, and are willing to learn.

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 124
RE: If is isn't about Acts, what is it about? - 7/23/2005 4:56:36 AM   
ElektraUkM


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah



By the way I note that while in your previous post you emphasized sticking to familiar language, in this post you are pointing out that sometimes it needs to be called into question. An insightful observation on your part, that.


Actually in that post I was going to comment that you seem to use common language and specific theories interchangeably to suit your own point of view. I didn't, because I'm aware that posts can easily get far too long for people to deal with, and end up discussing the minutiae of the debate rather than the wider question. I don't believe that either 'common talk' or specific theories are preferable, and as I say that I realise that one of the features of our discussion is that you'll assume that I favour one theory, approach or whatever over another, when in fact I have no such preference.

quote:

Now, before you go, can you scroll up and show me where I indicated that
quote:

such theories 'don't exist'


Before I go where?

I was referring to your suggestion, here:

quote:

Deciding is commonly spoken of as something we do, by Freudians, Jungians, Maslovians; by, Dualists, Monists, and people holding all sorts of models of brain function and/or reality.

No, I don’t see that much of anything here turns upon one’s preferred theory or model of mind or metaphysics.


Which I took to mean that you were pointing out that it didn't matter which theory of mind, or common talk of internal goings-on you adopted, that the idea that decision-making could be looked at as an Act was never contradicted. I apologise if that wasn't your intention, but at times I have difficulty in isolating your point from your expansive, sarcastic style .

quote:

...

I think that in the attempt you will find that I explicitly acknowledged ...


Implicitly, perhaps. But I see you acknowledge the point now. And thanks to Lordandmaster for pointing out my error, it is Dennett. I would think there are several places online one could go to to find outlines of his theories.

Anyway, and to cut this short, my point (several posts ago) was that it is debatable that the internal events we call decision-making is an Act (of course it 'can be seen' as an Acts ~ that was never debatable), since at least one argument that decision-making isn't an Act exists.

That said, I will restate what I said several posts ago, which was that I am quite able to take the point of view that decision-making is An Act, for the purposes of this debate (just as I would be willing to take the opposite view should that be required). So hopefully there won't be any further necessity to question why I'm taking one view over another?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah

As for this:
quote:

this particular question (are thoughts Acts..?) is an interesting one,
Well it may or may not be interesting but no one before you raised this question, as Faramir pointed out, so you needn't have troubled yourself to dispense with it.


I realise that I wasn't making myself clear there. As I responded to Faramir above, I meant to address the question of whether a particular thought (i.e. decision-making) can be viewed as an Act. When I used the phrase 'any thought' I meant 'any in the range of thoughts' rather than 'any and all thoughts'.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah
I do thank you for pointing out that there is at least one theory of mind under which mistoferin's contention can be called into question. That is a fine contribution to the conversation


You're welcome.

I hope you also were able to take on board the fact that I have no problem with discussing the Original Question from the premis that "the internal event known as decision-making can be considered An Act"

In particular, I would be interested to see whether it's possible to call an internal Act 'submissive' or 'dominant', since it is surely debatable whether the decision would be submissive to the Dominant outside the mind, or Dominant in the sense of a Decision being the original motivator (assuming one subscribes to that theory of mind) to particular action (or inaction) within the Submissive's own body.

In fact, as a first thought, I would suggest that a Decision is both submissive and dominant, which doesn't sound right (and might stem from the 'wrongness' of trying to apply such terms to a mental act). My second thought is that we could (should?) probably break down this simple 'Decision' into several, finer, decisions, some of which are submissive and some of which are not. These 'decisions' would begin with the decision to listen, the decision to obey (which is not yet an Act, or is it?), the decision to bend over (which is not submissive, but controlling of the body, though done within a submissive frame of mind)... Anyway, I will leave it to someone else to refine, discard, challenge or ignore my initial thoughts on this.

Edited to add:

I actually wonder whether any (in the sense noted above!) thought, perhaps Particularly (!) Decision-Making can be considered Submissive, if we accept the Theory of Free Will. (which I can either accept, or reject, incidentally )

Or perhaps the Act of Submission isn't a 'Decision' at all in some people's mind. In which case, what kind of mental event is it?

~ Elektra





< Message edited by ElektraUkM -- 7/23/2005 5:13:51 AM >

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 125
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