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RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/14/2007 8:30:58 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlindDescent

It is the most common of all lame attempts to save face of appear not at fault...blame the other person convincingly in a focused manner. It makes you doubt yourself when your instinct told you the truth. It's why it's called instinct...it is there for survival.
As to collars before meeting..they are theoretical, or wishful at best. Sounds like he was presumptuous and never intending on meeting...you were receptive of his presumptions and the house of cards fell quite quickly.  Learn something from this while developing hopeful prudence.
My thoughts exactly!...your gut told you right Defiant..and you acted upon it..never second guess or regret a course of action..the reason within you is usually the most accurate...Tempting

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to BlindDescent)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/14/2007 8:35:32 PM   
MistressLikeToys


Posts: 17
Joined: 9/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlindDescent

It is the most common of all lame attempts to save face of appear not at fault...blame the other person convincingly in a focused manner. It makes you doubt yourself when your instinct told you the truth. It's why it's called instinct...it is there for survival.
As to collars before meeting..they are theoretical, or wishful at best. Sounds like he was presumptuous and never intending on meeting...you were receptive of his presumptions and the house of cards fell quite quickly.  Learn something from this while developing hopeful prudence.
My thoughts exactly!...your gut told you right Defiant..and you acted upon it..never second guess or regret a course of action..the reason within you is usually the most accurate...Tempting


I agree with all the above.  Now just move on, there shouldnt even be any pieces to pick up....since it seems to have been such a short time.

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/14/2007 9:01:55 PM   
hardbodysub


Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Of course he could have dropped me a note. The fact that he didn't is part of what led me to mistake him for a wanker. My question is, how long should someone wait before drawing that conclusion? Just trying to avoid future misunderstandings with potential Doms.


Maybe it wasn't a mistake. He could still just be leading you on.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/14/2007 9:07:14 PM   
iammachine


Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline 		tl;dr entire thread.

Clearly, if he's going to be pissy about a simple misunderstanding, losing contact with the dude is not a huge loss. Personally, I find anyone that wants an honorable mention prior to even meeting to be a bit suspect.


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I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/14/2007 9:08:58 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Sunday, I was contacted by a Dom in my small town. He said all the right things, asked if I would wear a collar, and wanted me to mention him on my profile. He also wanted me to talk dirty to him on the phone. I told him I wanted to meet him and he said we could meet sometime this week. He signed briefly the next day but didn't contact me. I had no way to get ahold of him except on here because he blocked his number when he called. After several days of hearing nothing and remembering the phone thing, I assumed he was a wanker. A couple of hours ago, I sent him a message stating I had deleted my mention of him in my journal since I hadn't heard from him and said time to move on. Just my luck he decided to sign in tonight and reply with "I had a busy week, sorry. If that's how you feel, I guess I lose." Now he's all pissed off and refuses to read any of my messages. I know, I jumped to conclusions and was wrong. I never met the guy so I'm not going to cry or lose any sleep over it. Has this happened to anyone else, especially since there are so many wankers out there? How many days should a woman wait before concluding that a man is only after cyber/phone fun? I obviously didn't wait long enough.


Patience.

Neediness is painful for an independent man to have to bear-especially from a stranger.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/14/2007 9:12:01 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		Thanks for sharing DBG, you have more guts than many here, for sharing this.
No, you did not screw up.
Yes, you gave the loser to much credit to begin with.
 
He sounds like he is a typical CM player, and he is playing games with you.
Be glad you did not waste any more time with him.
Move on, and don't be so eager to trust so quickly next time.
Remember trust must be earned, and should not be given so quickly to strangers.
Assume that the majority of people that approach you online are liars, fakes and game players.
Again, trust and respect must be earned.

With total strangers, erring on the side of caution, is a good thing! 
Always remember, most pyschopaths and sociopaths have the ability to be very charming and charismatic.
Be patient, the right one will come along.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 9/14/2007 10:10:14 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/14/2007 9:27:59 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		Also, I don't think you screwed up, BIG time.
Many of us get tired of being alone.
Most people have "jumped" to quickly, around here at one time or another.
 
Don't let the "great and powerful know- it- all's get to you."
They have also been tricked and lied to in their past, in one way or another.
 
You were guilty of being eager, and wanting a relationship.
No, that is not screwing up.
Just make sure you get to know someone WELL, before you consider any type
of relationship, next time.
 

< Message edited by MzMia -- 9/14/2007 9:29:56 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/14/2007 9:37:15 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Patience.

Neediness is painful for an independent man to have to bear-especially from a stranger.


He wanted me to mention him on my profile so I mentioned him in my journal. Because that journal entry might make other potential Doms think I would be attached soon, I simply wanted to meet the guy asap and find out if he was interested. Obviously he's not so I'll find someone who is. How does that make me needy? Needy is someone who requires constant contact or they freak out. Needy people think they have to know where their partner is 24/7. Needy people constantly call their partners, sometimes several times a day, even when they are at work. I have been told that I am much less needy than most. I don't constantly call men I'm seeing and I never contact them at work. As long as I have contact with a man a couple of times a week, I'm content. If he wants to contact me more often, that's ok too as long as he isn't obsessive about it. I am not needy. I just don't want the right Dom to come along, skim over my profile, and decide not to contact me because of a journal entry. There's a difference.

_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/14/2007 9:50:42 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		deleted

< Message edited by defiantbadgirl -- 9/14/2007 9:53:57 PM >

_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/14/2007 10:01:34 PM   
interestingtimes


Posts: 57
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		Im in sales and communication is important in vanilla and here lol, it takes one min to send a email ie im busy..there is no excuse for him....unless a death in the family.


(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/14/2007 10:04:21 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		Agreed. The more I think about it though, the more I realize it was the journal entry request that caused my impatience. I'm normally not like that.

_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to interestingtimes)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/14/2007 10:06:24 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		My point was, a week was too long?

Who were you gonna miss out on-prince charming?

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/14/2007 10:12:04 PM   
corsetgirl


Posts: 824
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline 		No, you did not screw up in this matter.  He did because if he was really attracted to you, he would have made every effort to call you, leave his phone number or give you short note of saying he was thinking about you.

I found several red flags including talking about collaring you so soon, mentioning him on your profile, blocking his number when he called (I would be highly suspicious if he was married or was living with someone) and asking you to talk dirty to him on the phone.  All of this without even meeting you? 

I would say after all of this talking, he should have had the guts to meet you face to face and if he was that busy, he would have at least left you a voice mail telling you that he was thinking about you.

I would say good riddance to him!

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/14/2007 10:12:46 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

My point was, a week was too long?

Five days actually. Too long only when a Dom wants a sub he has never met to mention him on her profile.

Who were you gonna miss out on-prince charming?

I don't believe in the whole perfect prince charming thing. I want a real man, not a fantasy. As far as missing out, one never knows when the right one will come along.


_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/14/2007 10:13:59 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

My point was, a week was too long?

Five days actually. Too long only when a Dom wants a sub he has never met to mention him on her profile.

Who were you gonna miss out on-prince charming?

I don't believe in the whole perfect prince charming thing. I want a real man, not a fantasy. As far as missing out, one never knows when the right one will come along.



Exactly, you never do.

Are you in a hurry?

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/14/2007 10:20:16 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you everyone for your responses. I agree that he should have contacted me sooner, especially since he requested to be mentioned. More patience? I would have never reacted the way I did if it wasn't for the journal entry. From now on, I won't mention any Dom in my profile or journal unless I am collared.

_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to corsetgirl)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/14/2007 11:41:50 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		You didn't screw up. The fact that he wanted to collar you sight unseen makes that perfectly clear. It's as though you got a marriage proposal from the guy standing behind you in Starbucks based on nothing more than a common fondness for iced frappacinos (sp). That by itself is a red flag.

Bad week or not, it doesn't take more than a minute, if that much, to drop a line saying he's having the week from hell but are you available Sunday afternoon for coffee.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/15/2007 4:04:25 AM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		Damn, am I boring. I usually want to meet for coffee and see if there is spark and if I even like the lady.

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/15/2007 4:22:49 AM   
FullfigRIMaam


Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
Status: offline 		You didn't screw up at all.
You've saved yourself or have been saved from meeting a wanker in my opinion.   M

_____________________________

"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." Erich Fromm

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/15/2007 4:28:03 AM   
privatelives


Posts: 30
Joined: 8/26/2007
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jaxnsax


Greetings
Perhaps it is just me, but it does not sound as if you screwed up at all. You said that he DID sign in once or twice before this, he could have dropped you a note saying ‘hey, I am really busy, but I have not forgotten about you’
Just my opinion though
jaxon


i totally agree with that, how long does it take to type or text (cell/mobile) 'am busy will be in touch'..... oh look...it only took me a few seconds...
i wouldnt have waited either, so many Doms, so little time.....
 
(red)

_____________________________

No kind of sensation is keener and more active than pain it's impressions are unmistakable.

(in reply to jaxnsax)
Profile   Post #: 60
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