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RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/15/2007 4:31:49 AM

Perplex

Posts: 110
Joined: 8/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

you are BOTH wankers

People still say wankers?

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RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/15/2007 4:58:01 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

.....There's no way I would talk dirty to a guy on the phone who lived several hours away or in another state. I refuse to ever engage in cyber or phone anything unless the person lives close and plans have been made for a live meeting.

Telephpne sex is wonderful and creative. GREAT for all the musical/creative/director/orchestra types out there who live in an acoustic modality and have mucical memory.
What arouses me most? The sound of a Dominant bringing himself off on the phone, groaning his way to climax and appreciation. I just adore being in that total sub space, nestled down deep under the covers doing whatever they want me to and talking through my submissiveexperience. For me, as an Englush Princess, there is noithing better than a Canadian or (I= nd I don't confuse the two) New York nasal or mid-west drawl. Not to mention Bostonian clipped vowels.
Ahh well each to his own..........

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RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/15/2007 4:59:08 AM

Squeakers

Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
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Defiant,

    How do you know he lived in your town?   Because he told you so?   I could tell you I lived right around the corner from you---I could tell you anything I wanted because it is the internet.   He blocked his number so there is no way to tell if he actually lives in your town or not.
   Me personally, and this does not apply to everyone---but if some 'Dom' suggested collar and or me writing about him in a profile or journal I do not care if he lived across the street from me, the conversation would have went no further.    (I gave up the, I am getting old any Dom'll do attitude years ago.)
      It sounds like you were most impressed because he told you he lived in the same town.    It seems like if he were serious, he would have suggested a meeting, not wanted to talk dirty on the phone when you could have done so over a cup of coffee.   I'm kind of thinking he did not live in the same town. And sincerely, I think motivated by the thought that there was a possibility that you could take it to real time, quickly, you did jump to conclusions.
     ** Disclaimer** These are just my observations based on the collective posts.    I am not a therapist or a psychic nor do I play either on the internet.    I could be way off base with my observations.   **Disclaimer**

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RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/15/2007 5:09:56 AM

kittensmailbox

Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Sunday, I was contacted by a Dom in my small town. He said all the right things, asked if I would wear a collar, and wanted me to mention him on my profile. He also wanted me to talk dirty to him on the phone. I told him I wanted to meet him and he said we could meet sometime this week. He signed briefly the next day but didn't contact me. I had no way to get ahold of him except on here because he blocked his number when he called. After several days of hearing nothing and remembering the phone thing, I assumed he was a wanker. A couple of hours ago, I sent him a message stating I had deleted my mention of him in my journal since I hadn't heard from him and said time to move on. Just my luck he decided to sign in tonight and reply with "I had a busy week, sorry. If that's how you feel, I guess I lose." Now he's all pissed off and refuses to read any of my messages. I know, I jumped to conclusions and was wrong. I never met the guy so I'm not going to cry or lose any sleep over it. Has this happened to anyone else, especially since there are so many wankers out there? How many days should a woman wait before concluding that a man is only after cyber/phone fun? I obviously didn't wait long enough.

You didnt do anything wrong... i swear the same thing happen to me, i wonder if it was the same person... doesnt really matter, but trust me, you didnt do anything wrong...

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RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/15/2007 5:18:39 AM

RaynaSub

Posts: 185
Joined: 9/3/2006
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You have been given great advice here, this kind of situation
happens all the time online.

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Post #: 65

RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/15/2007 5:25:44 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
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Any body can be any body they want to be here on the internet.
To a certain extent we all fall in love with surface personnas and not real people.
Real people have a scent, which is a good thing to start with Swopping smeel. I once did this at the request of a guiy who lived here in England but some 200 miles away hich is relatively a huge distance.
I just didn't like the scent of him when I received it.
I think I am into swopping sent before actually meeting now or swopping underwear at the first meeting.
I have always fallen into a near trance at the smell of my previous dominant.

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Post #: 66

RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/15/2007 5:32:11 AM

bottombob

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don't worry about it, if he really wanted you he'd allow calls or contact you once in a while, he was probably having fun seeing what you would do..

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Post #: 67

RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/15/2007 5:38:44 AM

BeingChewsie

Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
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Quick reply:

I have a suggestion next time why don't you meet the guy for coffee or lunch before you become masterbatory material for him? I have been out of the loop a while but is it really that hard to not engage in phone-fucking before meeeting someone, especially if you are looking for the real deal?

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RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/15/2007 5:39:39 AM

Prinsexx

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IMO you didn't screw up.

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RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/15/2007 5:48:45 AM

xoxi

Posts: 1066
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defiantbadgirl-

I'm sorry if my first reply was a bit harsh, and I just want to clarify something. This guy does seem like a total douche who is probably attached (blocked number? come on what are you going to do have the CIA trace his *cell* phone???) and is definitely looking for something VERY casual. The fact that you expected him to call when he said he would meant in his mind "oh shit this girl wants more than my cock and my flogger" and he left.

But...still...don't do it again

There are quite a few nice guys who just might have forgotten to call someone they had met a week ago online and had never seen in person. Life happens. And those nice guys (at least the two who I asked last night out of curiousity) might get a bit freaked out by getting that email...it implies a connection that isn't there yet. One of my guy friends even said "Move on? From what? Emailing someone?"

Anyway I think it's awesome that you don't put up with BS but I've had to learn myself not to let my BS radar shoot down friendly planes. And I'm sloooooooowly learning patience (sucks that you have to have patience to learn it but hey) and that if they call, they call. If they don't, they don't, and I'm going to continue my life either way. Besides if they call 3 days later and want to see me *that* day it's fun to say "no I'm going out for drinks with a....friend" and mean it

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RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/15/2007 7:00:26 AM

Jeffff

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Im Chicago, we say...."jagoff"....perhaps wankers is more politicaly correct?

Jeff

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RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/15/2007 7:10:18 AM

eyesopened

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From: Tampa, FL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Im Chicago, we say...."jagoff"....perhaps wankers is more politicaly correct?

Jeff

now finally something really interesting.... there are a plethora of slang for masturbation :)

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RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/15/2007 7:24:06 AM

TankII7871

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One should always wait at least 5,256,000 seconds before making any important decisions ,such as collars meetings assfuckings and such.

Eric

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RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/15/2007 7:27:02 AM

defiantbadgirl

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Joined: 11/14/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: bottombob

don't worry about it, if he really wanted you he'd allow calls or contact you once in a while, he was probably having fun seeing what you would do..

You're probably right. Even if I had met him, he probably would have been like most of the guys I have met. It usually goes something like this.

1. We decide to meet.
2. I make sure he knows beforehand that there won't be any sex on the first meet.
3. He tries to get laid and fails.
4. He finally gives up and gives me a hug and a big kiss before I go.
5. I never hear from him again.

< Message edited by defiantbadgirl -- 9/15/2007 7:29:04 AM >

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RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/15/2007 7:45:26 AM

crouchingtigress

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Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi

If a guy says he will call at a certain day or time then doesn't, don't automatically assume he's a wanker.

yeah i dont buy that, i think with cell phones and email and what have you, i dont think there is an excuse for being out of integrity with your own word....look, either your word means something to you or it does not...you cant be a little pregnant....

and ron, men have piss flappage too.....

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RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/15/2007 7:55:16 AM

SirCache

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

If that's how you feel, I guess I lose." Now he's all pissed off and refuses to read any of my messages.

You know, this line really stuck out and bugged me. The passive-aggressive tone really stinks and personally I find it offensive. He could have let you know that his weekend was becoming busy. It is the obligation of everyone to be clear about their availability, and he was not. Worse, he tries guilting you over it? No. There's better out there, trust me.

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RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/15/2007 7:59:04 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Sunday, I was contacted by a Dom in my small town. He said all the right things, asked if I would wear a collar, and wanted me to mention him on my profile. He also wanted me to talk dirty to him on the phone. I told him I wanted to meet him and he said we could meet sometime this week. He signed briefly the next day but didn't contact me. I had no way to get ahold of him except on here because he blocked his number when he called. After several days of hearing nothing and remembering the phone thing, I assumed he was a wanker. A couple of hours ago, I sent him a message stating I had deleted my mention of him in my journal since I hadn't heard from him and said time to move on. Just my luck he decided to sign in tonight and reply with "I had a busy week, sorry. If that's how you feel, I guess I lose." Now he's all pissed off and refuses to read any of my messages. I know, I jumped to conclusions and was wrong. I never met the guy so I'm not going to cry or lose any sleep over it. Has this happened to anyone else, especially since there are so many wankers out there? How many days should a woman wait before concluding that a man is only after cyber/phone fun? I obviously didn't wait long enough.

If you think that asking you to wear a collar, adding him to your journal and having phone sex are "all the right things" for a dominant who you don't even know to say.......YOU have issues. But a lot of people here have told you that many times before and it hasn't made a bit of difference...don't suppose it will this time either.

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~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

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RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/15/2007 8:00:55 AM

xoxi

Posts: 1066
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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

You're probably right. Even if I had met him, he probably would have been like most of the guys I have met. It usually goes something like this.

1. We decide to meet.
2. I make sure he knows beforehand that there won't be any sex on the first meet.
3. He tries to get laid and fails.
4. He finally gives up and gives me a hug and a big kiss before I go.
5. I never hear from him again.

I'm not trying to be mean here but having phone sex so soon, before you even meet someone, does give a certain impression. There are plenty of women who say "Oh I'm not going to have sex on the first date" because that's how we've been raised - to be ashamed of sluttiness. It's mixed signals at the very least to engage in phone sex right off the bat then expect him to think you aren't looking for sex.

Obviously they have to respect you saying no, which from what you say they do, but it might not hurt to evaluate the signals you're giving off. Just my two cents, take it for what its worth ;)

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RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/15/2007 8:02:21 AM

xoxi

Posts: 1066
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi

If a guy says he will call at a certain day or time then doesn't, don't automatically assume he's a wanker.

yeah i dont buy that, i think with cell phones and email and what have you, i dont think there is an excuse for being out of integrity with your own word....look, either your word means something to you or it does not...you cant be a little pregnant....

and ron, men have piss flappage too.....

Meh well I guess I'm a wanker too then because I have totally had it slip my mind. Especially when we're talking about an internet person I've been talking to for five days.

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RE: I screwed up big time. - 9/15/2007 8:10:49 AM

kyraofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirCache
It is the obligation of everyone to be clear about their availability, and he was not.

I disagree with the sentence above. I am under no obligation to let anyone that I have only interacted with on the internet and phone know what my availability is and if someone I have only interacted with for a couple days expects that then they are not who I want to spend my time with.

Knight's Kyra

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"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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