undergroundsea
Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ocilla
I am having difficulty comprehending what you are trying to convey - and I want to understand.
Thank you for asking for the clarification.
I find many profiles of dommes speak only of their BDSM interests, which I find inconsistent with the common complaint that subs are interested in only the BDSM role a domme can play. I think if one wants to be seen beyond the sexual role one can play, one should allow people to see aspects beyond the sexual role. I am more interested by profiles that convey personality or help me get a sense of social attraction. Indeed I enjoy reading profiles that focus on the sexual aspects but respond one dimensionally.
The ratios and who courts who favor dommes so much that they do not have to expend much energy to find a sub. Many women can afford to rely on the ratios alone and not do much to attract attention. However, all other things equal, women who utilize the ratio as well as whatever else adds to their appeal have an edge over women who rely on the ratios alone.
If a woman is seeking a broader relationship (BDSM and friendship or companionship), it would help her to appeal at a broader level. In my opinion, an it's-all-about-me attitude appeals only at a sexual level. To me, it's-all-about-me attitude is one that says only her interests matter. If we examine this attitude from an everyday life and social perspective, it is not very attractive. Within BDSM, it is a bit different. The it's-all-about-me attitude appeals to a part of me but not to all of me. The submissive or masochistic part of me appreciates that attitude. The pragmatic and a broader part of me which thinks about what type of person would make a good companion or relationship partner (even for BDSM play) is not attracted by this attitude. Usually the pragmatic and broader part prevails.
I have met women who are adept at being assertive about their wants and needs and extending gestures that show affection, concern or interest for me. This balanced approach appeals to both the sub and the broader person in me.
Cheers,
Sea
< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 9/19/2007 8:05:20 PM >
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RE: How to NOT find a male slave - 
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