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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/19/2007 7:12:31 AM   
UR2Badored


Posts: 506
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

Please tell me what is believable because I really don't know how to think for myself."



Hmm, I thought that was the point he was trying to make......that people, inevitably, will think for themselves right before the final push off the cliff.   If you have dominant who will never push you over the cliff.....you dont need a limit for it. I do, however, believe I would enjoy testing the limit but being pushed off the cliff not so much.

Most people have limits of sorts if only defined by their Dominants because of genuine affection, trust and establishment, and similar desires.  There are varying extremes to which one will do or enjoy of course.

< Message edited by UR2Badored -- 9/19/2007 7:32:28 AM >


_____________________________

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Mark Twain

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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/19/2007 7:18:12 AM   
BeingChewsie


Posts: 1633
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Hi Aswad,

I think prop and I are saying different things. She believes she can comply with any order. There are things I'm unable to comply with and R has to gain compliance on. I may refuse/veto and have to deal with the consequence from R( he'll impose his authority) but none of those things rock the relationship base, the relationship isn't going to end because I can't comply or because he has to impose his authority as my owner. When those things happen, they are handled, worked out and life goes on. I'm using the term no-limits differently than prop. I know there are things I can't willingly do, he knows it, he'd have to step in and help me if he wanted whatever it was done, that is part of his responsibility and commitment as the powerholder in this relationship.

I'm not sure what there is to ridicule or respect, don't most relationships operate this way? The people in them work together to make the relationship successful. Long term successful relationships don't just happen, you have to actually follow through on your responsibilities and commitments to have one.



quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad


I have never encountered anyone whose hard personal limits have not included one or more of my kinks, and I do not expect to ever do so, either. But I have encountered those whose relationship limits have permitted them all, and not just because they trust that they will not have to rely on such limits to protect them. While I've not met them in person, I would say daddysprop and BeingChewsie both fit that definition, according to what they say, in that they both have personal limits, but neither has relationship limits, and their owners will enforce compliance if necessary.

That deserves respect, not ridicule, in my book.

Health,
al-Aswad.



_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/19/2007 7:26:15 AM   
chellekitty


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quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

So everyone should discount all your words because you are on the internet.


though John has already replied to this...i just wanted to say that after knowing him for over 6 years on the internet (lol), if he said something questionable, he would want you to question it, and if he said he shot fire out his ass and flew to NYC for dinner he would expect you to call him a liar....but then again, i am just another person on the internet...

testimonial number 626
from experiment 626 aka chelle

PS....it was really hard to not try and untangle the mangled mess you made when you twisted his words...


_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/19/2007 7:27:01 AM   
Aswad


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

Or are you saying that I'm entitled to my opinion, but not to express it?


The Terms of Service that you agreed to when signing up here say so.

Reread the parts about criticism, rudeness, and so forth.

quote:


I was not rude, did not call her or her momma any names, or cast aspersions upon her lineage. I was direct. There is a difference.


You did call her a liar in public. That's rude by most standards.

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/19/2007 7:39:07 AM   
mistoferin


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Believing daddysprop. Well that is a subject that always seems to stir up a hornet's nest here. If we indeed take her at her word then we have to recognize that her situation is unlike that of others in this discussion. daddysprop has stated on several occasions on these boards that she was institutionalized and declared mentally incompetent and unable to make decisions regarding her own care. She has stated several times that the only reason she is no longer institutionalized is that her Daddy has become her legal guardian who has accepted the responsibility of caring for her and is legally bound to do so. She has also stated that he abuses her physically, sexually and mentally regularly and has other people abuse her regularly. So if indeed we believe all that daddysprop has to say here, then we have to recognize that her situation is not a Master/slave, Daddy/daughter relationship in the sense that we generally discuss them here where two mentally competent, consenting adults are involved. Consent, in her case, becomes a moot point because people who have legally been declared incompetent can not give valid consent. At her word the situation is described as a man who has obtained legal custody of a mentally incompetent adult who is abusing that mentally incompetent adult. At her word, the situation she describes is a legally enforceable and punishable crime.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/19/2007 7:42:17 AM   
Bobkgin


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From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

I was not rude, did not call her or her momma any names, or cast aspersions upon her lineage. I was direct. There is a difference.


You did call her a liar in public. That's rude by most standards.



I might point out that he called her a "liar" in public without any substantive evidence to support the accusation.

His rhetoric boils down (inevitably) to "I don't believe it."

A lot of people didn't believe the world was round, but that didn't make the world flat.

Just as when they changed their minds, the world did not become round.

The whole "believe what is believable" is problematic.

Shall I point out how many different religions and cults people believe to be "believable"?

What about bigotries and prejudices, like whites are superior or women are inferior? Is John saying people should believe such things because so many find these ideas "believable"?

How many people thought the idea that Saddam had WMDs was "believable"?

That whopper started a war.


_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/19/2007 7:48:01 AM   
Bobkgin


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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Believing daddysprop. Well that is a subject that always seems to stir up a hornet's nest here. If we indeed take her at her word then we have to recognize that her situation is unlike that of others in this discussion. daddysprop has stated on several occasions on these boards that she was institutionalized and declared mentally incompetent and unable to make decisions regarding her own care. She has stated several times that the only reason she is no longer institutionalized is that her Daddy has become her legal guardian who has accepted the responsibility of caring for her and is legally bound to do so. She has also stated that he abuses her physically, sexually and mentally regularly and has other people abuse her regularly. So if indeed we believe all that daddysprop has to say here, then we have to recognize that her situation is not a Master/slave, Daddy/daughter relationship in the sense that we generally discuss them here where two mentally competent, consenting adults are involved. Consent, in her case, becomes a moot point because people who have legally been declared incompetent can not give valid consent. At her word the situation is described as a man who has obtained legal custody of a mentally incompetent adult who is abusing that mentally incompetent adult. At her word, the situation she describes is a legally enforceable and punishable crime.


Having seen how some people report what I've said, I'll take that with a sizable grain of salt.


_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/19/2007 7:50:23 AM   
mistoferin


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Do so if you wish. However, it is here in black and white, stated repeatedly by her in her own words for anyone who wishes to take the time to look back and see.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/19/2007 7:54:39 AM   
daddysprop247


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From: DC Metro area
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Believing daddysprop. Well that is a subject that always seems to stir up a hornet's nest here. If we indeed take her at her word then we have to recognize that her situation is unlike that of others in this discussion. daddysprop has stated on several occasions on these boards that she was institutionalized and declared mentally incompetent and unable to make decisions regarding her own care. She has stated several times that the only reason she is no longer institutionalized is that her Daddy has become her legal guardian who has accepted the responsibility of caring for her and is legally bound to do so. She has also stated that he abuses her physically, sexually and mentally regularly and has other people abuse her regularly. So if indeed we believe all that daddysprop has to say here, then we have to recognize that her situation is not a Master/slave, Daddy/daughter relationship in the sense that we generally discuss them here where two mentally competent, consenting adults are involved. Consent, in her case, becomes a moot point because people who have legally been declared incompetent can not give valid consent. At her word the situation is described as a man who has obtained legal custody of a mentally incompetent adult who is abusing that mentally incompetent adult. At her word, the situation she describes is a legally enforceable and punishable crime.


first mistoferin, the state declaring someone mentally incompetent does not necessarily make that so. many people are wrongfully thrown into the mental health system and kept there for no good reason, against their consent, for years or even a lifetime, simply because one or two idiot psychs in all their great wisdom has declared them incompetent. the law or the state is not the ultimate authority in deciding what is and what is not so.

with that said, i personally don't consider myself to be any crazier than the next person, and my Master and those close to us would agree. yes i have my struggles, depression being the bear of them, but i'm in such a healthier, more content and peaceful place now than i was 7 years ago, or even 5 years ago, that it feels like i've been reborn, which is true in a sense. that tells me that my Master and i must be doing something right, that this path we're on together is truly meant for me.


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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/19/2007 7:56:27 AM   
UR2Badored


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I am just saying  that some people believe that the lack of needs for limits and  the reality of "no limits" are two different things and viewpoints.  It is one of those things that are pretty gray considering the responses so far.  Just because I see them as two different things and make choices according to my beliefs, doesnt mean I expect others to see it as having a need for no limits is the same as literally "no limits".  Of course there is a whole spectrum of gray in between.  My original question was to get other people's views on this because I realized that there was a spectrum of opinions.  I wanted to broaden my personal perspective on this matter, but I dont subscribe to the concept that I should apply my definition to others or vice versa as  I would not have asked the question. Though I definitely have a right to my perspective and opinions like anyone else.  It is interesting to me that it seems to be a question of how one defines following the limits of the Master as the main issue on both sides of the argument and how differently this is being viewed.   

< Message edited by UR2Badored -- 9/19/2007 7:59:59 AM >


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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/19/2007 7:58:25 AM   
mistoferin


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Have you or have you not been legally declared incompetent?

Has he assumed legal guardianship of you or not?

Have you or have you not stated that he abuses you regularly?

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

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Profile   Post #: 271
RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/19/2007 8:23:44 AM   
Bobkgin


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Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

It would also be nice if you logged off your computer and actually had some contact with the actual public scene.



Why Rabbit, did you know that keeping tabs on what another person is doing to the extent that you can say he never logs off is a symptom of a stalker?

"observing a person's actions closely for an extended period of time"

"Stalkers will often denigrate their victims which reduces the victims to objects. This allows stalkers to feel angry at victims without experiencing empathy, or they may feel that they are entitled to behave as they please toward the victims. Viewing victims as "lesser," "weak" or otherwise seriously flawed can support delusions that the victims needs to be rescued, or punished, by the stalkers. Stalkers may slander or defame the character of their victims which may isolate the victims and give the stalkers more control or a feeling of power."

"Predatory stalker: spy on the victim in order to prepare and plan an attack ..."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stalking

Of course, it might surprise you to know that being logged on and being physically present at the computer are not necessarily the same thing.

While logged on yesterday, I worked on replacing the property gate, fed the dogs and spent some time throwing sticks for them, baked a loaf of bread and had an afternoon nap.

I can only guess you spent all day staring at the little green "online" message that appears here when I am logged in. How else could you claim I didn't log off?

Being obsessed with getting your victim is another sign of a stalker, Rabbit.

I suppose this is a good time to remind folks:

"The anger of a serial bully is especially apparent when they come across someone who can see through them to espy the weak, inadequate, immature, dysfunctional aggressive individual behind the mask."

"The objectives of bullies are Power, Control, Domination, Subjugation. They get a kick out of seeing you react. It doesn't matter how you react, the fact they've successful provoked a reaction is, to the bully, a sign that their attempt at control have been successful. After that, it's a question of wearing you down. The more your try to explain, negotiate, conciliate, etc the more gratification they obtain from your increasingly desperate attempts to communicate with them. Understand that it is not possible to communicate in a mature adult manner with a disordered individual who's emotionally retarded."

http://www.bullyonline.org/related/cyber.htm


< Message edited by Bobkgin -- 9/19/2007 8:26:05 AM >


_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/19/2007 8:28:53 AM   
Mercnbeth


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quote:

ORIGINAL: UR2Badored
...It is interesting to me that it seems to be a question of how one defines following the limits of the Master as the main issue on both sides of the argument and how differently this is being viewed...   


UR2Badored,
to this slave, it has always been interesting, how folks seem to enjoy the actual belittling of others for their choices in the guise of sharing an opinion that includes insisting on the One-True-Way literal definitions of any particular subjective word or term here...i.e. slave...no limits...24/7...abuse...beauty...OUTSIDE of the context of the OP. its also amazing how these same people are the first to challenge any "one true way" while at the same time doing the exact same thing.
sadistic, no?
this slave always thought that no-limits referred to adult activities and life choices, not trying to second guess how one would react in a life-threatening scenario.
being willing to die for someone, or someone's country, or religious ideals...is the ultimate romantic fantasy and proof of devotion, isn't it?
 

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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/19/2007 8:39:14 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
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FR..........

hey angrybunny...(does this code work for you....if not, i can think of something different)
he can copy and paste....

and mist of erin....the whole   thing....why? i don't get it...why do people like giving themselves a headache?

prop...if you want to keep your Daddy out of jail...get yourself out from under his gaurdianship...from an outside view, it would appear he doesn't think he will get caught...

Aswad....what were you saying about pop-psychology?

what was the point of this post, btw?


_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/19/2007 9:16:16 AM   
UR2Badored


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

ORIGINAL: UR2Badored
...It is interesting to me that it seems to be a question of how one defines following the limits of the Master as the main issue on both sides of the argument and how differently this is being viewed...   


UR2Badored,
to this slave, it has always been interesting, how folks seem to enjoy the actual belittling of others for their choices in the guise of sharing an opinion that includes insisting on the One-True-Way literal definitions of any particular subjective word or term here...i.e. slave...no limits...24/7...abuse...beauty...OUTSIDE of the context of the OP. its also amazing how these same people are the first to challenge any "one true way" while at the same time doing the exact same thing.
sadistic, no?
this slave always thought that no-limits referred to adult activities and life choices, not trying to second guess how one would react in a life-threatening scenario.
being willing to die for someone, or someone's country, or religious ideals...is the ultimate romantic fantasy and proof of devotion, isn't it?
 


I do find it interesting when there is such strong opinions and independent definitions in play.   I wish there was more open discussions without the need to belittle anyone, but because what we have to convey may be limited in text, many things can come across as rude.    Some people do take it (no limits) more literally than others, and to called one way an ultimate romantic fantasy when the same could be said for the other stance, is somewhat condescending to either view points.  Even though I would enjoy your scenerio of fear of potentially being pushed off the cliff and game of trust.  There would be an unspoken "limit" in play when taking on the limits of a responsible Master (at least for me, once a relationship is established which is very different than my original post). By that, it is my view and understanding that some see this very same instance has being "no limits".  I considered my initial question was how people defined "no limits" as a bottom in play.  It does seem, to me at least, that the two main arguments differ only on whether or not a person's individual definition if a sub/slave/bottom taking on her Master's limits is considered "no limits" or not. It is pretty irrelevant if you are fortunate enough to be in an established relationship--that should have been worked out by then. Some people think if the Dominant's limits are in play that there are limits in play. And of course, what I have seen others do not agree.  I would hope that any consensual, trusting, and established relationships in this arena would have no need to announce limits. The Dominant, in my opinion perhaps not yours, would have discussed and established her limits if only in his own mind or have similiar limits.  It is more of semantics than anyone being "true".  It might be just me, but those professing there is no true way may appear just as opinionated as the people who are professing there is one true way.  We all live by our own choices and belief systems.  If someone thinks there is one true way --good for them since even if they think I should subscribe to it, doesnt make it necessarilly so and vice versa. I have used the term "true" as well in former posts so I am guilty as charge I suppose. Again, I think it is interesting that the main argument on both sides seems to differ in the opinion of taking on another's limits as being considered to them personally as being a "no limits" relationship or not.  There are shades of gray posted of course but this seems, at least to me, seem to be the stem of the argument.

< Message edited by UR2Badored -- 9/19/2007 9:37:22 AM >


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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/19/2007 9:46:20 AM   
Bobkgin


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From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: UR2Badored

Again, I think it is interesting that the main argument on both sides seems to differ in the opinion of taking on another's limits. 



I think there are those who have not lived it, cannot imagine it, and whose responses look a lot like Vanilla: it is either all fantasy, all insane, or all deceit.

Those who have lived it need not justify it or persuade others regarding its reality/safety.

Looking over the criticism, I note an acute lack of specificity in the accusations: It's "fantasy/insane" without specific statements being quoted to support the claims, or the quotes are taken out of context or misrepresented for political purposes.

When comparing those without limits/safewords to those with limits/safewords, we get back into the old arguments regarding submissives and slaves.

Which is more preferable?

As this is a bdsm dating site, you get those who feel their preferences are not getting enough limelight, so they accuse others of "fantasy/insanity/deceit".

All the buzzwords that are supposed to set newbie submissives a trembling and running to the big, strong (yet obviously 'wise') accuser.

Funny how easily some authoritarians fall into "One True Way/Your Kink Is Not OK" mantras because they're convinced newbie submissives respond to that kind of thing.

Ho hum.

Welcome to the BDSM 'community'.



_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to UR2Badored)
Profile   Post #: 276
RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/19/2007 9:55:16 AM   
Mercnbeth


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this slave finds it interesting that One-True-Way-ers generalize subjective personal experiences within our own perceived realities as absolutes that everyone must share in.  this slave also understands why folks belittle them here and poke at them with sharp pointy verbal sticks...
 
publicly declaring your way IS the One-True-Way, appears to be the battle-cry of the emotional/mental masochist...it seems to be an emotional/mental sadist's dream come true/invitation to respond.
 
some of the longest threads here that aren't word game threads that go on and on until a Mod stops in an reminds everyone of the TOS that states:
 
Keep the discussions civil and mature, and do not insult the kinks, preferences, lifestyles, etc. of others.

Often it start off with an innocent enough OP, such as yours, wanting to discuss:
 
"the preponderance of Overweight Submissives"
"what is 24/7"
"submissive vs. slave"
"is this abusive?"
"no-limits"
 
it's all subjective, therefore this slave will not support or endorse any One-True-Way and continues to giggle at those who do.

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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/19/2007 9:59:11 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
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quote:

Funny how easily some authoritarians fall into "One True Way/Your Kink Is Not OK" mantras because they're convinced newbie submissives respond to that kind of thing.


Then again others attempt the same thing by considering anything other than their "one true way" bullying and predatory.
quote:

I suppose this is a good time to remind folks:

"The anger of a serial bully is especially apparent when they come across someone who can see through them to espy the weak, inadequate, immature, dysfunctional aggressive individual behind the mask."


A person's insecurity has a number of ways of manifesting itself; but the advise is good.

Avoid like the plague anyone who can never be wrong and always feels any critique is an attack!

(in reply to Bobkgin)
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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/19/2007 10:00:25 AM   
UR2Badored


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Joined: 2/3/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

quote:

ORIGINAL: UR2Badored

Again, I think it is interesting that the main argument on both sides seems to differ in the opinion of taking on another's limits. 



I think there are those who have not lived it, cannot imagine it, and whose responses look a lot like Vanilla: it is either all fantasy, all insane, or all deceit.

Those who have lived it need not justify it or persuade others regarding its reality/safety.

Looking over the criticism, I note an acute lack of specificity in the accusations: It's "fantasy/insane" without specific statements being quoted to support the claims, or the quotes are taken out of context or misrepresented for political purposes.

When comparing those without limits/safewords to those with limits/safewords, we get back into the old arguments regarding submissives and slaves.

Which is more preferable?

As this is a bdsm dating site, you get those who feel their preferences are not getting enough limelight, so they accuse others of "fantasy/insanity/deceit".

All the buzzwords that are supposed to set newbie submissives a trembling and running to the big, strong (yet obviously 'wise') accuser.

Funny how easily some authoritarians fall into "One True Way/Your Kink Is Not OK" mantras because they're convinced newbie submissives respond to that kind of thing.

Ho hum.

Welcome to the BDSM 'community'.


[/quote

I think there is room for all opinions and if people did not personally define things for themselves and able to make informed decisions based on personal desires and some kind a belief system, what would be the point?

I will not subscribe to a theory that if someone does not have my belief system on this , they must live in a fantasy land and their way is not reality on this topic.  Sorry, I see both parties sides though I have my own <gulp> opinion.

I can appreciate what Mercnbeth said as well as Rover.

< Message edited by UR2Badored -- 9/19/2007 10:01:16 AM >


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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/19/2007 10:06:56 AM   
RRafe


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Did you all know that arguing with bob is a bit like pissing into the wind?

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