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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 12:20:46 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
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quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

If a woman has many partners, it is intimidating for a guy. 


Some guys. Valyraen thinks and my ex thought it was fucking awesome that I had so many partners. When it comes to intercourse, I know what I want, where I like it and each loved the fact that even though I have so many notches on the bedframe, they could still drive me absolutely wild.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to came4U)
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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 12:21:03 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		The number of sex partners in a person's past has little to do with how safe they are. The number of unprotected sex partners (including oral) is what really counts. A person who has been with 25 partners total, 2 of them unprotected is safer than a person who has been with 10 partners, all unprotected. Alot of people don't know this, but HIV, Hepatitis B, and HSV-2 are all spread through unprotected oral sex. A person with HSV-2 in their mouth can spread it to others simply by drinking after them. My friend's young um caught it that way.

_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to Sweetsubbie1)
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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 12:22:15 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
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quote:

That makes no sense to me. When I have a one-night stand and someone lies to me, that just makes me think they have a STD. If you don't want to tell them the truth, just tell them you aren't comfortable.


lol

IF you have a one night stand...what do you expect??? TRUTH? Shouldn't you go into every and any one night stand assuming they HAVE an STD and use protection??? Who has one night stands based on total truth and oblivious love????

and as defiant says above...for every one person YOU f*ck, you are f*cking a possible 20, 30, 80, 249 ?? by proxy.

lies  pft. Lies mean nothing, if you worry about lies so much never leave home, never date again, never f*ck. 

< Message edited by came4U -- 9/16/2007 12:25:09 PM >

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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 12:22:22 PM   
xoxi


Posts: 1066
Status: offline
quote:


To be frank, I'm most likely to be a bit dismissive of those who come waltzing into the thread and say "oh yes, I lied about something elementary and worthless."


I never learned how to waltz but I always adore being dismissed. Continue plz.

quote:

It is curious that no one answered, "Yes, I lie about who I did, how many, what we did, and all the rest."  Did any of us expect to see that brutally honest of a response?


Meh.  Consider that changed.  I have lied about it, I have told the truth about it, and I have also said "x-but-really-y" or "x but only y count" where 'x' was the real number and 'y' was the number I wish it was

When I meet a man, and on the first date he says "how many men have you slept with" that is not what he's asking.  He's asking "are you a slut? am I getting laid tonight?  or are you possible girlfriend material?" and so I will tell him a reduced number.  Because I want to and it's a really rude question anyway.

At least I'm not lying about having lied

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 12:23:38 PM   
AquaticSub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Alot of people don't know this, but HIV, Hepatitis B, and HSV-2 are all spread through unprotected oral sex. A person with HSV-2 in their mouth can spread it to others simply by drinking after them. My friend's young um caught it that way.


Of course, the risk of actually catching HIV through oral sex is so bloody low that the sex educators at public health clinics tell you to not worry about it unless you have herpes sores in your mouth.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 12:25:42 PM   
ownedgirlie


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Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi

quote:


To be frank, I'm most likely to be a bit dismissive of those who come waltzing into the thread and say "oh yes, I lied about something elementary and worthless."


I never learned how to waltz but I always adore being dismissed. Continue plz.

quote:

It is curious that no one answered, "Yes, I lie about who I did, how many, what we did, and all the rest."  Did any of us expect to see that brutally honest of a response?


Meh.  Consider that changed.  I have lied about it, I have told the truth about it, and I have also said "x-but-really-y" or "x but only y count" where 'x' was the real number and 'y' was the number I wish it was

When I meet a man, and on the first date he says "how many men have you slept with" that is not what he's asking.  He's asking "are you a slut? am I getting laid tonight?  or are you possible girlfriend material?" and so I will tell him a reduced number.  Because I want to and it's a really rude question anyway.

At least I'm not lying about having lied



Hey...how did you reply to me while quoting someone else?!  I was scratching my head over here, not remembering saying any of that, lol.

(in reply to xoxi)
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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 12:26:25 PM   
susie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U


Lying is for the temporary.  Truth is for the keepers. Sorry, to burst any male-ego self-importance bubbles.


This makes no sense at all. How do you know someone is temporary at the start. When I met Master is was originally as a one off play session. What if he had asked me that night and I had lied because I thought it was just one night. Then when it become something more long term and he asked again I would either have to lie again or tell the truth. As I do not believe in basing a relationship on lies what would I do.

To be honest I have had way more partners than he has. He knows that but not the specific numbers. It means nothing to either of us. It is my past it has no bearing on my relationship in the now with him.

(in reply to came4U)
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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 12:26:32 PM   
AquaticSub


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Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

IF you have a one night stand...what do you expect??? TRUTH? Shouldn't you go into every and any one night stand assuming they HAVE an STD and use protection??? Who has one night stands based on total truth and oblivious love????


Actually I do expect honesty. And I got it.

One night stands don't mean a license to be stupid, or engage in high risk behavior. If that turns your crank great, but know the risks. I used a condom but just because I only had a one-night stand with them doesn't mean I picked up some random guy at the bar. I don't sleep with people I think are high-risk. I slept with people I knew, either socially or through friends and if I found out they had lied, I would have told the others in case they were thinking about sleeping with them.

Edited for a million typos 

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 9/16/2007 12:28:01 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 12:26:32 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		xoxoi is correct !

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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 12:30:28 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

lies  pft. Lies mean nothing, if you worry about lies so much never leave home, never date again, never f*ck. 


Bullshit. They may mean nothing to you, but if you can't be honest with me or just have the balls to tell me "Hey, I'm uncomfortable with spilling, can we just get me tested?" you don't have enough balls to fuck me.

End of story for me.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 12:31:29 PM   
xoxi


Posts: 1066
Status: offline 		LOL owned girlie...I actually quoted 2 separate people and used fast reply.

I won't say I'm correct but I will say it is a personal decision.  Stuff I'm always honest about is "When is the last time you have been tested," or "have you ever had sex without a condom" or "do you have any STD's" because that is stuff that actually affects the other person.

Also I have never regretted lying because the type of guys who ask that before I know them well enough to want to share everything and be totally honest and open are the types of guys I don't end up developing feelings for.

Also one time I told a guy I was a virgin.  And that I was waiting until marriage.  Because he was trying to get me drunk and take me home with him.  It was fucking hilarious.

(in reply to came4U)
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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 12:31:46 PM   
susie


Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

The number of sex partners in a person's past has little to do with how safe they are. The number of unprotected sex partners (including oral) is what really counts. A person who has been with 25 partners total, 2 of them unprotected is safer than a person who has been with 10 partners, all unprotected. Alot of people don't know this, but HIV, Hepatitis B, and HSV-2 are all spread through unprotected oral sex. A person with HSV-2 in their mouth can spread it to others simply by drinking after them. My friend's young um caught it that way.


To be perfectly honest DBG it is your attitude to sex and men that is the issue with your relationships / non relationships. I know you have had issues in the past but you should really get some help with this. Your posts on this and other threads are always so focused on the big bad diseases that you can get and that comes over in your attitude here and probably in the conversations you have with potential partners.

It would be a good thing for you to get some help with the things in your past that have brought this about.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 12:33:46 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi

Also one time I told a guy I was a virgin.  And that I was waiting until marriage.  Because he was trying to get me drunk and take me home with him.  It was fucking hilarious.



*grins* Now that lie makes complete sense to me. I've told people I was a lesbian and that my friend was with me to get rid of barflies.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to xoxi)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 12:35:01 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

This makes no sense at all. How do you know someone is temporary at the start. When I met Master is was originally as a one off play session. What if he had asked me that night and I had lied because I thought it was just one night. Then when it become something more long term and he asked again I would either have to lie again or tell the truth. As I do not believe in basing a relationship on lies what would I do.



You don't know?  if you don't know, don't answer that question. simple.  You said IF he had asked you., up to you how you handle that.

quote:

Actually I do expect honesty. And I got it.

One-stands don't mean a liscense to be stupid. I used a condom but just because I only had a one-night stand with them doesn't mean I picked up some random guy at the bar. I don't sleep with people I think are high-risk.


lol

the people you 'think are high risk' are no more safe than the persons you think are NOT high risk. 

What better arena for permission and agenda to lie than to set people up to lie by you being the instigator to promote their lying. omg. 

You having power over their lying potential only creates more drama, paranoia and std's through lying.


(in reply to came4U)
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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 12:35:15 PM   
xoxi


Posts: 1066
Status: offline 		looooool
word.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 12:40:08 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

the people you 'think are high risk' are no more safe than the persons you think are NOT high risk. 


High risk: Someone I don't know from Adam. Someone my friends don't know from Adam. When you know someone, you have an idea of their morality, however vague. You have an idea of who they have slept with. Is it perfect? Hell no! But you have an idea.

I know that anyone who has been dating person X has had a battery of STD tests every year and therefore they are safer than random redneck number 6.
quote:


You having power over their lying potential only creates more drama, paranoia and std's through lying.




I have no power over their lying. I have the power of deciding to sleep with their lying ass or not and I have the power of informing my friends if they lied.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 9/16/2007 12:41:14 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 12:40:38 PM   
defiantbadgirl


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Joined: 11/14/2005
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quote:




When I meet a man, and on the first date he says "how many men have you slept with" that is not what he's asking.  He's asking "are you a slut? am I getting laid tonight?  or are you possible girlfriend material?" and so I will tell him a reduced number.  Because I want to and it's a really rude question anyway.

At least I'm not lying about having lied



Exactly. If you tell most guys a number they think is high, they are going to either see you as a one night stand or treat you like shit. They aren't going to care if it's because you like having casual sex with multiple partners or because you have run into alot of players. All that matters is the number. As for telling them you don't want to talk about it, as I said before it's the same as a guilty plea vs a no contest plea.

_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to xoxi)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 12:41:50 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

quote:




When I meet a man, and on the first date he says "how many men have you slept with" that is not what he's asking.  He's asking "are you a slut? am I getting laid tonight?  or are you possible girlfriend material?" and so I will tell him a reduced number.  Because I want to and it's a really rude question anyway.

At least I'm not lying about having lied



Exactly. If you tell most guys a number they think is high, they are going to either see you as a one night stand or treat you like shit. They aren't going to care if it's because you like having casual sex with multiple partners or because you have run into alot of players. All that matters is the number. As for telling them you don't want to talk about it, as I said before it's the same as a guilty plea vs a no contest plea.


Are those men really worth having anyway?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 12:45:21 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		ok , I think the point is..that LYING in general is easy to do.

If a guy or gal decides that they want to fu*k without protection with someone they know or barely know then LIES have nothing to do with the situation.  No one is safe, unless you are with a virgin, we all f*ck at least 10 others by proxy and no lies can deny that.  If someone is truly worried about std's they would NOT fuk at all or use protection and not bitch about the lies later and use diseases as an excuse. 

The disease card yeah.  Seems pretty convenient AFTER the fact, after someone gets their rocks off!  Truth is...anyone with any common sense knows that anyone 30+ (do the math) had at LEAST 3-60 partners.  The number of fuks should only come up regarding (in bdsm lifestyle) of kink-related experience right?  Any other questioning on the subject should be for personal reasons.

Assume, for the time being, initial contacts, that all of your partners have been exposed to 'something' and treat that as priority of care for yourself. Assume everyone lies, for the sake of safety.  

(in reply to xoxi)
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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 12:46:18 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

quote:

That makes no sense to me. When I have a one-night stand and someone lies to me, that just makes me think they have a STD. If you don't want to tell them the truth, just tell them you aren't comfortable.


lol

IF you have a one night stand...what do you expect??? TRUTH? Shouldn't you go into every and any one night stand assuming they HAVE an STD and use protection??? Who has one night stands based on total truth and oblivious love????

and as defiant says above...for every one person YOU f*ck, you are f*cking a possible 20, 30, 80, 249 ?? by proxy.

lies  pft. Lies mean nothing, if you worry about lies so much never leave home, never date again, never f*ck. 


Or just get good at recognizing when people are likely to lie, call them on it, and establish that they aren't worth trusting in the first place.  For me, that also means not having sex with them, in the first place.

I'm not worried about a woman who lies to me about STDs.  I assume she has one, unless she demonstrates or establishes a much deeper level of trust with me that shows otherwise.  What I worry about, is her lying about her jealous ex boyfriend doesn't keep a glock in his truck.  If she's going to lie to me about STDs, I have no doubt she's going to lie about the boyfriend.  Frankly, I don't have the time or patience for that kind of drama.

Incidentally, if you look back at my earlier post, you'll note where I point out a sexually adventurous woman is right up my ally.  If a woman pretends not to be sexually adventurous when she obviously is, why is she wasting her time with someone who's obviously not going to share her tastes?  Sounds a bit like a black (or white or red or green) person who pretends they aren't black, just so they can get laid by someone who is white (or black or red or green.)

shoshi,

Why answer it at all?  You could just say "Well, I don't really know you well enough to want to share my sexual history with you."  If you're viewing him as boyfriend material, you don't need to put all your cards on the table.  I'd have a lot more respect for "my privacy is just that, until we've earned each other's trust" a lot more, than a woman who says "two" when it's closer to two hundred.  For me, two hundred means she has a lot better chance of becoming girlfriend material, than one night stand material.  It means she's not going to fall in love with my cock. 

To ditch barflies, btw, why not just tell him "so thanks for the drink, have a good night, buh bye"

Stephan


_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to came4U)
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