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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 1:12:52 PM

celticlord2112

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quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

What is the truth guys? Would you not feel 'speshul' because 300ish others thought they were speshul???

Sex isn't "speshul"--it's just loads and loads of fun! If I'm special to a woman, it's for reasons other than what I bring to the bedroom.

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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 1:12:56 PM

murmur

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Exactly. Tell a man you don't want to say and most of them will think the worst.

yup, imagination goes a long way......

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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 1:13:06 PM

susie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Exactly. Tell a man you don't want to say and most of them will think the worst.

But that is just the point. Listen to some of the men that have commented. They actually do not care about the specific numbers.

It is interesting to see what you think is "having their shit together". Having a car and a job is not what I would call having their shit together. For me it means someone that is comfortable and happy with their life with no issues. For me you are someone that does not have your shit together.

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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 1:14:14 PM

came4U

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In this world of free-er expression in sex, omitting std's from the context, can we not thrive with recalling and mentioning 'memorable' lovers as the ones counted in our history in regards to lifestyle. Others should not count as far as one night stands unless that is your forte as fun.

There is no need to lie, sexual history is irrelevant. Make your sexual history fade by being the best lover you can with the one you are with. The best lover is the one who you are with in the NOW and the one you want to be FOREVER.

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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 1:15:46 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

There is no need to lie, sexual history is irrelevant. Make your sexual history fade by being the best lover you can with the one you are with. The best lover is the one who you are with in the NOW and the one you want to be FOREVER.

Exactly. So just be honest or say you don't think it matters.

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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 1:19:03 PM

mmb1

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I think it is all a private matter as the rest of your past is, and who you wish to discuss it with. It really is as simple as that :)

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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 1:22:16 PM

mmb1

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With every situation, i appreciate those who are very open here, but me I choose when i will be open and to whom, and usually if it is to help someone, i will be, we all choose what we divulge and how much and when appropriate by common sense :)

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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 1:23:34 PM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
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quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

In this world of free-er expression in sex, omitting std's from the context, can we not thrive with recalling and mentioning 'memorable' lovers as the ones counted in our history in regards to lifestyle. Others should not count as far as one night stands unless that is your forte as fun.

There is no need to lie, sexual history is irrelevant. Make your sexual history fade by being the best lover you can with the one you are with. The best lover is the one who you are with in the NOW and the one you want to be FOREVER.

sorry but i couldn't disagree more. sexual history is not irrelevant, even with STD/STI health and risk aside. your sexual history is YOUR history, it is part of what has made you who you are today, every little bit of it. i don't want my history to "fade," as if it never existed, i want to remember it and learn from it and have it become another patch in the tapestry of my life.
if a man declares no interest in my sexual past, or is offended or bothered by my history, then that is a person who i am not meant to be with because they would never be capable of loving and accepting me for who i am.

much like ownedgirlie, my Master thoroughly questioned me on all facets and details of my sexual history....relationships, one night stands, casual flings, rapes and childhood abuse. this information was crucial for him in learning about me and later, when we became Master and slave, it was because he had this information that he knew i would be able to bear the tests he would put me through. not to mention that frankly, he found most of the details to be erotic as heck, and it was an important factor in determining that we would be complementary as sexual partners and as Master and slave.

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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 1:23:35 PM

murmur

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quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

There is no need to lie, sexual history is irrelevant. Make your sexual history fade by being the best lover you can with the one you are with. The best lover is the one who you are with in the NOW and the one you want to be FOREVER.

whoa, i dont know how i did to pass by this comment. Make me seriously thinking, thanks for sharing.

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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 1:23:36 PM

xoxi

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I wouldn't date a man who had been with 400 women LOL. I would even be hesitant to be with one who had been with 40 unless he made it perfectly clear that he was through with hooking up and was ready to settle down with a future life partner.

I don't care if a man has treated sex like skeet shooting in the past, but if he hasn't completely moved beyond that mentality I don't want to put myself in a position to be nothing more than a notch on a belt.

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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 1:24:05 PM

came4U

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I was a slut, suck it up. It meant nothing.

That is enough truth. If a man doesn't get that, and needs more clarity, he should expect disappointment that he did the same thing, the same way, the same location that another did. If he worries, he should consider why mr. fukmethere isn't my current husband now is he??

It isn't that I lie..it just isn't important. Fu*king is vanilla. Being dominated-complete isn't. In that case (my true calling), I am a virgin.

Someone WILL be truly speshul! lol

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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 1:24:52 PM

domiguy

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It is the past...Has little relevance on the future...What exactly is there to be gleaned from such information? Is it for wanking material...What did that dude do to you?

Quite frankly it is no one elses biz....I might choose to divulge it ...I might keep it private. As far as a woman's sexual past...I could care less.

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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 1:25:01 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

On another thread someone said that "most" women lie about how many partners they have had. Do you lie about your sexual past, number of partners, experiences, etc. and if so what is your reason for doing so? Would you be upset if you learned your partner had lied to you about their past?

No I don't lie about the past partners etc.

Yes I would be upset if they lied to me. for one reason.. it's a lie! The specifics are really not a concern.

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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 1:25:24 PM

mmb1

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And exactly daddysprop247 my point, you share with your Master/Dom :) smiles

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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 1:27:33 PM

mmb1

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I don't want to know how many there were before me lol, and it would not make me judgemental, I would be concerned as I hope he would with me, that I grew from experience, it really is a simple as that, I don't count ! LOL

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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 1:29:12 PM

came4U

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quote:

if a man declares no interest in my sexual past, or is offended or bothered by my history, then that is a person who i am not meant to be with because they would never be capable of loving and accepting me for who i am.

much like ownedgirlie, my Master thoroughly questioned me on all facets and details of my sexual history....

I understand ya there.

But, I meant sexual history with a 'potential' that you have just met as the OP is talking about. Initial contact, not deep connection persons such as your master hun.

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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 1:29:50 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

I was a slut, suck it up. It meant nothing.

That is enough truth. If a man doesn't get that, and needs more clarity, he should expect disappointment that he did the same thing, the same way, the same location that another did. If he worries, he should consider why mr. fukmethere isn't my current husband now is he??

It isn't that I lie..it just isn't important.

In your opinion. It's valid as your opinion. But the differing opinion is also valid.

quote:

Fu*king is vanilla. Being dominated-complete isn't. In that case (my true calling), I am a virgin.

Someone WILL be truly speshul! lol

Well damn. I guess I'm just vanilla because I'm not giving up fucking for any man, no matter how speshul he thinks he is. Of course, you do realize that some dominants are going to pass you over because they aren't interested in virgin BDSMers. This is just like the vanilla world - we ain't special. Some men like experience, some men don't.

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It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 1:36:07 PM

daddysprop247

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quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

quote:

if a man declares no interest in my sexual past, or is offended or bothered by my history, then that is a person who i am not meant to be with because they would never be capable of loving and accepting me for who i am.

much like ownedgirlie, my Master thoroughly questioned me on all facets and details of my sexual history....

I understand ya there.

But, I meant sexual history with a 'potential' that you have just met as the OP is talking about. Initial contact, not deep connection persons such as your master hun.

came4u, that is just it. my Master was not yet my Master when he questioned me on my sexual past. we had no commitment to one another...heck, there was not even the whisper of a potential commitment between us. we were Mentor and mentee, who happened to also be good friends. that is how our initial relationship began. i don't operate in "potentials"...i've never dated or viewed anyone as my potential anything. i've always just believed in simply living and letting things take their natural course, no assumptions or expectations.

anywho, all that is to say, i never would have become his slave if he had not known all the sordid details of my sexual history LONG before we got to that point, and accepted and found value in them. waiting to share such things until a commitment is formed would be wayyyy too late imo, and rather useless at that point.

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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 1:39:00 PM

came4U

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quote:

I don't want to know how many there were before me lol, and it would not make me judgemental, I would be concerned as I hope he would with me, that I grew from experience, it really is a simple as that, I don't count ! LOL

No one in their right human mental capacity goes into a full time relationship without knowing about someone's past sexual relationships. We do it naturally (adaptation or manipulation of events?) to be a betterment criteria for our mate. It is natural. To go into it blindly is what we do for a one night stand ONLY.

quote:

Well damn. I guess I'm just vanilla because I'm not giving up fucking for any man, no matter how speshul he thinks he is. Of course, you do realize that some dominants are going to pass you over because they aren't interested in virgin BDSMers. This is just like the vanilla world - we ain't special. Some men like experience, some men don't.

I don't care. Let them want what they want.

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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 1:44:23 PM

came4U

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quote:

that is just it. my Master was not yet my Master when he questioned me on my sexual past. we had no commitment to one another...heck, there was not even the whisper of a potential commitment between us. we were Mentor and mentee, who happened to also be good friends.

That is just it.

He was a 'comfortable friend' first. Thus your history came out honestly and easily. That is a big difference between a stressful first beginning question of 'sexual history' with a new potential partner. You had no reason to lie in the beginning, and no excuse if you did later on. It is hard to lie in your situtation, unless you are a bad friend to begin with. .. which I doubt you are.