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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 1:45:52 PM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

quote:

that is just it. my Master was not yet my Master when he questioned me on my sexual past. we had no commitment to one another...heck, there was not even the whisper of a potential commitment between us. we were Mentor and mentee, who happened to also be good friends.


That is just it.

He was a 'comfortable friend' first.  Thus your history came out honestly and easily.  That is a big difference between a stressful first beginning question of 'sexual history' with a new potential partner.  You had no reason to lie in the beginning, and no excuse if you did later on.  It is hard to lie in your situtation, unless you are a bad friend to begin with. .. which I doubt you are.


well honestly i do not understand the point in ever lying about it, even to someone you are speaking to for the first time ever. as far as a "potential partner"...i can't relate to that mindset, so perhaps that is the difference between me and others there. i have told men i have known for minutes...when directly asked...all sorts of details about my sexual history...numerical range (never knew an exact no.), activities done, basic likes and dislikes, etc. it's really just not a big deal to me, and i find it makes for juicy conversations. :) now of course things like abuse or perversions or various other personal issues are things i would only discuss with a friend, like i did with my soon-to-be Master way back when. and for me personally no meaningful commitment can exist without a solid friendship preceding it.

...but just sharing the basics? how many, how often, how hard, etc.? why lie, if someone doesn't like sluts, and they're offended or put off by my honesty, then poo poo to them.

< Message edited by daddysprop247 -- 9/16/2007 1:52:41 PM >

(in reply to came4U)
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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 1:49:22 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

It is interesting to see what you think is "having their shit together". Having a car and a job is not what I would call having their shit together. For me it means someone that is comfortable and happy with their life with no issues. For me you are someone that does not have your shit together.


Life isn't perfect, therefore everyone has issues whether they want to admit it or not. Are you telling me that you would actually consider a long term relationship (one that would evolve to living together) with a man who had no income and no transportation? Are you saying that freeloaders have their shit together as long as they are happy with their lives mooching off of everyone around them? I remember you advising me on another thread not to turn men away that have no job and no transportation. I decided to ask my father for his opinion. He said and I quote "Any man in his 30's that doesn't have a job and transportation is a bum and you need to stay away from him." He isn't some rich snob that looks down on everyone that has a lower income that him and hates those who are that way. He just doesn't like freeloading bums. I'm the same way (notice I said a job......even if it's fast food).

_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to susie)
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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 1:52:25 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

I don't care. Let them want what they want. 


Just making the point of it really doesn't what you are or the level of experience you have. There is a segement of population that won't want you and a segement that will trample others to get to you.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to came4U)
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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 1:54:34 PM   
mmb1


Posts: 304
Joined: 8/3/2007
Status: offline 		we went from sexual past to this? lol

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 1:54:52 PM   
iammachine


Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline 		Lying means you have to remember things. I have a craptacular memory.

That and I really just don't see any benefits in being dishonest.

I won't lie about my past, but I don't offer up any information that hasn't been requested, or isn't relevant to the situation, either. If you need to know, you'll know. If you want to know, I'll tell ya. Otherwise, I let sleeping dogs lie.


_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to mistoferin)
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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 1:56:07 PM   
mmb1


Posts: 304
Joined: 8/3/2007
Status: offline 		this is why you just reminded me whom I speak freely with, we went off topic........and that was a good example :) You going off topic :)

(in reply to mmb1)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 1:58:29 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		I didn't see that thread defiant, but uhhg.   No poor man, honestly, in this time and age, can or is dominant. 

Don't jump on me people, it is fact.  If this is a capitalist world, country, life, there is a reason why a man is poor and a reason why a man is comfortable. He is either powerful at 'something' or powerful at NOTHING. 

That is why there are gals that think that a burger king dom is God and women who think that stock analysts are more dominant.  Visa-versa for the femme Dommes who enjoy the practice of dominating stock exchange yuppies.  WE all need our loving relief..somehow.

But, IMO, no, a man cannot have a low position in this economy/capitalistic state-world and be a dominant (to me).  He must be dominant in all of his world around him.  If not, he is a compensating fool.  Not attractive at all. 

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 1:59:14 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl


Life isn't perfect, therefore everyone has issues whether they want to admit it or not. Are you telling me that you would actually consider a long term relationship (one that would evolve to living together) with a man who had no income and no transportation?

Done the whole long term relationship with someone who didn't have a job. As long as they are trying to get one, I care more about if they love me and are a decent man. Plenty of shitheads have jobs because they are willing to compromise their morals and step on the little guy.
quote:


Are you saying that freeloaders have their shit together as long as they are happy with their lives mooching off of everyone around them?

It's amazing that you think someone without a job or a car is a freeloader. In big cities, cars are a burden and sometimes people get let go for no reason. Shit happens. If you would dump someone or not date someone just because of bad circumstances, are you really worth having? Some people are freeloaders, some people are just having a run of bad luck.
quote:


I remember you advising me on another thread not to turn men away that have no job and no transportation. I decided to ask my father for his opinion. He said and I quote "Any man in his 30's that doesn't have a job and transportation is a bum and you need to stay away from him." He isn't some rich snob that looks down on everyone that has a lower income that him and hates those who are that way. He just doesn't like freeloading bums. I'm the same way (notice I said a job......even if it's fast food).

No but from the information you've shared with about your father in other threads I don't really know if I would go by his advice. I mean, he is the one who doesn't think women can carry futons when I've seen him proved wrong more than once. 

Personally, I'd rather have a guy who is looking for better than fast food. Valyraen was unemployed for awhile, and I was helping to support him. He was looking hard but no one was hiring. He didn't want to work fast food because he knew it would tire him out so much that he wouldn't have the energy to look for a better job. He finally found a great job and now he is more than pulling his weight. He is pulling mine too.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 2:03:59 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

I didn't see that thread defiant, but uhhg.   No poor man, honestly, in this time and age, can or is dominant. 

Don't jump on me people, it is fact.  If this is a capitalist world, country, life, there is a reason why a man is poor and a reason why a man is comfortable. He is either powerful at 'something' or powerful at NOTHING. 

That is why there are gals that think that a burger king dom is God and women who think that stock analysts are more dominant.  Visa-versa for the femme Dommes who enjoy the practice of dominating stock exchange yuppies.  WE all need our loving relief..somehow.

But, IMO, no, a man cannot have a low position in this economy/capitalistic state-world and be a dominant (to me).  He must be dominant in all of his world around him.  If not, he is a compensating fool.  Not attractive at all. 


Better be careful. Someone might accuse you of being a gold digger or tell you that you need counseling for not wanting a freeloading bum for a Dom lol

_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 2:04:00 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

But, IMO, no, a man cannot have a low position in this economy/capitalistic state-world and be a dominant (to me).  He must be dominant in all of his world around him.  If not, he is a compensating fool.  Not attractive at all. 


Sounds like power is your kink. No one is dominant of all his world. Anyone thinks they are is fooling themselves. The only person who can control everything in his business is either the big CEO (think Bill Gates or Martha) or self-employed - generally not very wealthy. Otherwise, anyone can be fired or let go based on the trends of business. Wall Street is filled with those who have been on top and are now in the gutter, trying to get back up there. Some will make it, others won't. Having lived and socialized with those in the "upper tiers", well paid lawyers, doctors and so forth I can tell you this: Most of them don't have a scrap of interest in a woman who only wants them because they are powerful.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 2:05:04 PM   
mmb1


Posts: 304
Joined: 8/3/2007
Status: offline 		I am still wondering why we did not start a new topic................lol, since you have seemed to.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 2:05:16 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Exactly. Tell a man you don't want to say and most of them will think the worst.


Exactly.  The ones that are left, are far more interested in getting to know you.

Stephan


_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 2:07:33 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mmb1

I am still wondering why we did not start a new topic................lol, since you have seemed to.


Well, you are certainly free to.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to mmb1)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 2:10:19 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
well honestly i do not understand the point in ever lying about it, even to someone you are speaking to for the first time ever.


Agreed. 

I shared all my sordid details with Master...hmmm...about 2 weeks into knowing him, if that long.  Then again, as soon as we began speaking it was obvious there was a connection between us.  I probably wouldn't have been as detailed if I hadn't felt that.  He told me later he was pleasantly surprised at my willingness to be so open.

(in reply to daddysprop247)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 2:12:46 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

Sounds like power is your kink. No one is dominant of all his world. Anyone thinks they are is fooling themselves. The only person who can control everything in his business is either the big CEO (think Bill Gates or Martha) or self-employed - generally not very wealthy. Otherwise, anyone can be fired or let go based on the trends of business. Wall Street is filled with those who have been on top and are now in the gutter, trying to get back up there. Some will make it, others won't. Having lived and socialized with those in the "upper tiers", well paid lawyers, doctors and so forth I can tell you this: Most of them don't have a scrap of interest in a woman who only wants them because they are powerful.


Yes, some are powerful in ALL OF THEIR WORLD, occupation and economically. 

I wouldn't associate with a man who wasn't. 

He must be all-round powerful, in all of life. Yes, it is possible.

No bumms, no low class jobs, I don't care what others think that I am a snob about it.  I just don't think any man who works for 17 bosses can be a dominant in any fashion.   He is merely a putz. Life is an measured in echelons .  Even the hippies learned that in some capacity and now the hippies grew tired of the drama and became heads of corporations or they became fodder. Each echelon is a test, in this society, to be powerful.  The more educated, the more immune to stress, etc.  If a grown man, in a society bred for teens to work fast food or minor occupations to learn while LEARNING in college/university for a higher echelon occupation is still in fast food he *coughs is a uhhh moron.

Yep, I am a snob about this. Suck it up.    

(in reply to AquaticSub)
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RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 2:16:43 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		Sexual partners is not the same as bdsm experience.
So with regard to the thread which is sexual hidtory....I finished a relationship with a dominant about 4 months ago. I found out he was in a vanilla relationship and had been for 15 years. The lies were very profound and he not only lied to me but to his children.
His justification for it? He said he couldn't give me up, had never met anybody like me and so on. He blackmailed me and threatened to send explicit photograhs to my place of work, my register and my publisher if I left him THEN when I traced his vanilla world he threatened to blackmail me if I contacted any in his  his vanilla world.
I did contact his partner as a matter of fact because of his hostility and it cost me dearly to trace her. She and I had quite an in-depth telephone conversation about him.
He also was a barebacker and THAT alone put me, his vanilla partner and, as it happened, at least another woman at risk.
He ran three or four pseudonyms and god knows where he giot the time or the enrgy.
It turned out  that he also was lying about his sexual past....but to which one of us he was actually telling the truth and to which one the lies....well I think even that became unclear to him.
Needless to say my main concern was for a disease free status and I had all the tests...three months later I repeated all the tests and thank god I am fit and healthy.
HE might have got off on the trip but all of us, his partner and his children and ex-wife were all prepared to stand with me in court and press charges for blackmail.
I let the case drop, understanding as i did the psychology of the man that  had I taken him to court he would have sent the pics anyway.
So I merely used the trick of crawling afetr him begging him to come back....he knew of course that I knew all his tricks and that was the strategy to keep him away. It did the trick nicely and I have heard nothing from him except another pseudonym attached to his original email address when wanting to join my face book.
It shook my confidence and my trust severely.
In my opinion don't lie about sexual case history, experience or predilections as it always backfires, hurts and at the end of the day can be fatal.
'Prinnie'

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 2:20:24 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

Yep, I am a snob about this. Suck it up.    


Great. Now suck up the fact that you are going be treated like one.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 2:25:11 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

Better be careful. Someone might accuse you of being a gold digger or tell you that you need counseling for not wanting a freeloading bum for a Dom lol


hahha

quote:

Great. Now suck up the fact that you are going be treated like one.


yay! hope that weeds out freeloaders, bumms and low income men.




(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 2:25:21 PM   
SunNMoon


Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
(snip)
sorry but i couldn't disagree more. sexual history is not irrelevant, even with STD/STI health and risk aside. your sexual history is YOUR history, it is part of what has made you who you are today, every little bit of it. i don't want my history to "fade," as if it never existed, i want to remember it and learn from it and have it become another patch in the tapestry of my life.
if a man declares no interest in my sexual past, or is offended or bothered by my history, then that is a person who i am not meant to be with because they would never be capable of loving and accepting me for who i am.
(snip)


I couldn’t agree with Prop more. If a person is not able to accept my past, then how can the accept me?  What has happened to me in my past has shaped the person I’ve become, and that should matter.  Prop, thank you for saying this, it’s so much clearer then I could ever have stated.
 
Sorry for jumping this in without reading where the discussion has gone, I just really liked what Prop said.


(in reply to daddysprop247)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: Are you honest about your sexual past? - 9/16/2007 2:28:58 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U
yay! hope that weeds out freeloaders, bumms and low income men.


It's actually going to weed out a lot of the people you are going to go for. I wasn't kidding when I said I grew up in high circles. The women with your attitude provide a great deal of amusement at name-dropping parties. Of course, you won't believe me but hey... life is a bitch and a great teacher.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 120
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