What does a collar actually mean to you.

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

What does a collar actually mean to you.

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> What does a collar actually mean to you.

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/23/2007 7:15:31 PM

MasterShibari

Posts: 81
Joined: 5/17/2007
Status: offline

Those of you who have read my posts before, know that on these forums, I am primarily interested in the psychological aspects of BDSM and the lifestyle in general. Also, I like to phrase my questions by using myself as an example, and then asking for others to share their views or experiences.

I’ve discussed with many people, both here and in my local community, the three collars that are so prevalent among members of the old guard leather community. These being the “collar of consideration,” the “training collar,” and the “slave collar.” However, I know that for many, collars have come to take on a new meaning.

Over a year ago, a submissive whom I was dating brought up the subject of collars with me. She wished to wear something to signify her submission to me, a mark to show she was mine. After much discussion with her, it rapidly became clear to both of us that what we both wanted was not an inch and a half of padlocked black leather to show to the world that she was my slave, because honestly, she wasn’t. Instead, we discovered that we both wanted something a bit more subtle, though still quite obviously S/m, for her to wear.

For both of us, this collar (and the key to it which I wore about my neck) signified that she belonged to me, as I also belonged to her. Rather then the sometimes temporary or short-lived nature of a collar of training, this was to be a long lasting symbol of our union, which also happened to show those who were at least semi knowledgeable about the lifestyle that she was submissive to me.

For me, the meaning of a collar is fluid, something that must be discussed carefully with each D/s relationship. However, I am interested in what a collar means to you. What the collar you are wearing now, or wore in the past, represented. What the band of leather or chain that you placed around her/his neck signified to you both. I’d love to hear from experienced members of the old guard, fresh faced beginners, and anyone in between.

M. Shibari

By the way:
In my profile, I clearly state that I have never collared a slave. When I say that (and perhaps I should clarify on my profile) I have never collared a slave, I mean that I have never placed a collar on one I consider my slave. I do not mean I have never collared anyone. Feel free to message me if you want a better explanation about this, or anything else I’ve said.

Post #: 1

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/23/2007 7:19:32 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Whatever works.

Sometimes it's just for fashion, sometimes it's a convenient attachment point, sometimes it's to heighten the energy in a scene, sometimes it's a symbol of authority transfer.

And a collar is not at all always something that goes around the neck or is leather or metal. I have a pink bunny peep backpack clip that is as precious to me as any eternity collar on a slave would be.
http://www.collarchat.com/m_498653/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#498670
The Coveted and Legendary Collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_531609/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#531610
Collaring vs Wearing a collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_547321/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#547475
The meaning of a collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_485613/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#485797
Please share with me (what being collared means to you)

http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=427111&mpage=1&key=collaring&#427257
being collared

http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=410988&mpage=1&key=collaring&#411019
public collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_291301/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#291301
Collar vs Wedding Ring

http://www.collarchat.com/m_287566/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#287566
Another Question Regarding the Collar

http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=323687&mpage=1&key=collaring&#323702
collars (2)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_287140/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#287140
Collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_264867/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#264867
Sub Thoughts on collars

http://www.collarchat.com/m_248345/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#248345
collar before love

http://www.collarchat.com/m_247668/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#247668
ring or collar, what's the difference?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_219135/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#219135
What does a collar mean?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_190240/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#190240
collar or what else?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_187244/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#187244
Accepting a collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_184946/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#184946
Timeframe for a Collar?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_177155/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#177155
collar (2)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_165733/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#165733
collars

http://www.collarchat.com/m_151638/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#151638
Collar Ceremony

http://www.collarchat.com/m_150934/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#150934
Losing the Collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_132702/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#132702
From chat to collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_124898/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#124898
Wearing training collar in public

http://www.collarchat.com/m_81449/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#81449
What are the collar types/levels please?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_80281/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#80281
When is the right time to collar?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_70392/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#70392
Collars and collaring

http://www.collarchat.com/m_61337/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#61337
Collar conundrum?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_59686/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#59686
Color of collars?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_55592/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#55592
Collars when?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_27368/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#27368
Kind of a collar question?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_11451/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#11451
Collaring a submissive?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_428/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#428
What is your definition of a training collar?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_402/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#402
Multiple collars or single collar?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MasterShibari)

Post #: 2

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/23/2007 7:23:53 PM

MasterShibari

Posts: 81
Joined: 5/17/2007
Status: offline

Haha, wow.... I knew it wasn't an orriginal question, but I wasn't quite expecting that many. Thank you for the links, it will be fun to read some of them.

M. Shibari

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 3

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/23/2007 7:25:43 PM

RRafe

Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

Bondage gear.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to MasterShibari)

Post #: 4

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/23/2007 7:26:10 PM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

i wore a collar last night...it was cute...it had a bell attached to it...it wasn't just a fashion statment though...it was cause kittens shouldn't be wandering about without collars on....

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 5

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/23/2007 7:31:03 PM

MasterShibari

Posts: 81
Joined: 5/17/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Bondage gear.

Is that all it means to you? Is it just a costume?

M. Shibari

(in reply to RRafe)

Post #: 6

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/23/2007 7:44:01 PM

RRafe

Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterShibari

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Bondage gear.

Is that all it means to you? Is it just a costume?

M. Shibari

I keep hammering my head against the d/s wall of cluelessness here. Repeat five hundred times-for future clarity of thought......

Rrafe is a Bondage top-Rrafe doesn't like playing MASTERDOMSIRLORDOFTHEUNIVERSE...................

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to MasterShibari)

Post #: 7

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/23/2007 7:49:58 PM

MasterShibari

Posts: 81
Joined: 5/17/2007
Status: offline

RRafe, I am merely looking to understand what collars mean to people individually. As you can clearly see, I am not a regular of the forums, so I had no idea who or what you were.

I know I have no power to enforce this, but I would ask that if you have nothing constructive to say, and only wish to insult others.... please find another thread.

Thank you for your first contribution and have a good night.

(in reply to RRafe)

Post #: 8

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/23/2007 7:52:11 PM

leatherette

Posts: 255
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Rrafe doesn't like playing MASTERDOMSIRLORDOFTHEUNIVERSE...................

Oh oh. That could mean - that you may be a person who has the understanding to be a real master...

(in reply to RRafe)

Post #: 9

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/23/2007 7:53:16 PM

favesclava

Posts: 1608
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

i wear different collars. i have a solid thin metal for public, a 2 inch leather with O ring for play and private ,a nylon dog collar with chains for some public places. they all mean the same thing . they were placed on me by Master as a sign of my being His slave.

(in reply to RRafe)

Post #: 10

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/23/2007 7:55:42 PM

RRafe

Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterShibari

RRafe, I am merely looking to understand what collars mean to people individually. As you can clearly see, I am not a regular of the forums, so I had no idea who or what you were.

I know I have no power to enforce this, but I would ask that if you have nothing constructive to say, and only wish to insult others.... please find another thread.

Thank you for your first contribution and have a good night.

You asked-I answered.

We don't all want what you do.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to MasterShibari)

Post #: 11

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/23/2007 8:00:03 PM

Neala

Posts: 70
Joined: 8/1/2007
Status: offline

To me a collar can represent many things. For me it represents two.

The first being something you use in a scene that comes off easily. Something fun to play with and not too serious.

The second being more like a wedding ring. I don't believe in collars of consideration. I find the idea quite silly, but to each their own.

When I was collared once upon a time we thought of it as a 'forever' thing. Not something that was to be taken lightly. It was a more neaklace type silver chain. It was gorgeous.

(in reply to leatherette)

Post #: 12

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/23/2007 8:00:23 PM

MasterShibari

Posts: 81
Joined: 5/17/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe
We don't all want what you do.

-stares at text and blinks a few times.-

When did I say I wanted everyone to believe what I believe?

The whole point of this post was to learn what collars signified to OTHER people.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterShibari
Is that all it means to you? Is it just a costume?

Did you see this statement as some sort of assault on your beliefs, it was not intended as such. I merely wanted clarification.

M. Shibari

(in reply to RRafe)

Post #: 13

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/23/2007 8:01:14 PM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterShibari

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Bondage gear.

Is that all it means to you? Is it just a costume?

M. Shibari

he uses them for restraint...bondage gear...

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to MasterShibari)

Post #: 14

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/23/2007 8:02:41 PM

RRafe

Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterShibari

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe
We don't all want what you do.

-stares at text and blinks a few times.-

When did I say I wanted everyone to believe what I believe?

The whole point of this post was to learn what collars signified to OTHER people.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterShibari
Is that all it means to you? Is it just a costume?

Did you see this statement as some sort of assault on your beliefs, it was not intended as such. I merely wanted clarification.

M. Shibari

I didn't feel assaulted, I was trying to be funny. I guess there was a tad of frustration too-many people here seem to think d/s is the default mode-it becomes tiring. Recall what the old saying about "assuming" is?

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to MasterShibari)

Post #: 15

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/23/2007 8:03:43 PM

RRafe

Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leatherette

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Rrafe doesn't like playing MASTERDOMSIRLORDOFTHEUNIVERSE...................

Oh oh. That could mean - that you may be a person who has the understanding to be a real master...

Screams, and runs away...............

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to leatherette)

Post #: 16

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/23/2007 8:04:31 PM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

I keep hammering my head against the d/s wall of cluelessness here. Repeat five hundred times-for future clarity of thought......

Rrafe is a Bondage top-Rrafe doesn't like playing MASTERDOMSIRLORDOFTHEUNIVERSE...................

pets RRafe....its ok...calm down...want a cookie?

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to RRafe)

Post #: 17

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/23/2007 8:06:28 PM

MasterShibari

Posts: 81
Joined: 5/17/2007
Status: offline

Haha, good. You had me worried for a second there.

If you get to know me at all on these forums, you will find that I often ask people to explin what they have just said. When I do this, it is not because I didn't understand what they were saying. I am asking them to elaborate on what they just said, to expand on it.

I like to know how people think, and a few short words is not enough to covey that, so I ask people to elaborate.

M. Shibari

(in reply to RRafe)

Post #: 18

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/23/2007 8:06:57 PM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

I have only actually put a collar on one sub, though I have had many others serve me. This was mostly for him. He needs that solid symbol to make him feel truly collared. When he is not with me, he has a tiny padlock on his keyring, I have the keys. It makes absolutely no difference to me, but I do understand that some do need something tangible. Collaring, physically or metaphorically, is something I would only do with someone I believe I will have a long term relationship with, not something I take lightly.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.

(in reply to RRafe)

Post #: 19

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/23/2007 8:11:16 PM

leatherette

Posts: 255
Status: offline

Master Shibari:

You'll likely get better answers to your question in time. It seems tonight - you've got a tough crowd. We are all ornery devils right now, if I can speak in general.

I could volunteer, be nice and answer your question. Tell what it means to me as an ideal. But, I don't feel like it and you can't make me

Like Rrafe above - sounds like someone who has a grasp on "unreality" - which may make him an extrodinary master - but he says "NO" not a master. So, even while it is possible he is extrodinary - the concept of "master" is null for him, as he writes and may be his "untruth", as what is it but subjective?

Maybe masters are like the Lockness monster? People think there may be such a creature - but, no one can prove it..or disprove it. Its all in the mind...

You can't make anyone answer, any more than one can make the contrary sit upright or the naughty behave.

Good thing folks can't chuck tomatos through the 'puter screen.

<smiling> Have a good night..and tomorrow will be better.

In peace, leatherette

PS You're cute, ya know that?

< Message edited by leatherette -- 9/23/2007 8:27:12 PM >

(in reply to RRafe)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> What does a collar actually mean to you.

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.102