RE: What does a collar actually mean to you.

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you.

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: What does a collar actually mean to you.

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 4 [5]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 10/7/2007 1:11:18 AM

InObsequium

Posts: 5
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline

With all due respect, I find the phrasing of the initial question a little confusing.

What does a collar actually mean to you?

-A- collar? As in the concept, the idea of 'a collar' as used in r/t bdsm relationships? -Anyone's- collar? Or -my- collar?

I'll answer the last one, as it is the one I actually know best.

First of all, I have several. Five so far, and counting. Not that I collect collars, or have a harem of d/ms *squeezing eyes shut in horror and shaking head* , it is just that Hawkins likes adorning my neck and that therefore I get to wear a collar that suits his mood, or the occasion, or my suit of clothes. It is practical too. When going to a multi-day music festival in a muddy tent field, there is not much sense in wearing a 18 kt gold ring round your neck. Or a string of pink pearls. A super shiny solid stainless steel number is inconventient as it weighs over a pound, so the little leather dog collar he bought me over 12 years ago now suits the occasion much better and does the job just as well. Which job does it do though?

The wedding ring analogy has been made already. It is a symbol of the specific bond between that man and this woman, both as a reminder to them and others, that they belong together in a relationship based on the idea that he rulez and she serves, and that they are really bloody serious about it. Of course it is, at the same time, a reminder of all the minutiae involved in what the above describes in general terms. His careful gouvernment, my obedience, our rituals and customs, our warm affectionate gregariousness, our humour and language, our SM, our love and devotion and hard work put in over long years...

To me it also serves as a talisman. A reminder that I am not alone, not unprotected, not as vulnerable as some situations may make one feel. My collar, whichever one I might be wearing at the time, reminds me that I am loved, and valued, and trusted. It reminds me of Hawkins and what I mean to him and what he means to me when I am nervous and on my way to a difficult meeting, or an intimnidating concert, or have to do some other hard thing, and it steadies me. It calms me and focusses me. It reminds me that, whatever I might be about to do, it is not all that important. He is, and to him, I am. At the end of the day, that is all that really matters.

In Obsequium,

Kate

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Profile

Post #: 81

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 10/7/2007 11:14:05 AM

LostMyself

Posts: 72
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

my former master and mistress collared me with a collar that was a thin gold braid. It wasn't obvious in public, and certainly was not "bondage gear," it was a symbol that I was owned. It wasn't physically locked, but it was locked around my neck nonetheless, and was NEVER to be taken off.

(in reply to leatherette)

Profile

Post #: 82

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 10/7/2007 11:51:19 AM

diphyes

Posts: 18
Joined: 10/5/2007
From: Room 302
Status: offline

*laughing* Oh, God. My first and only collar was... an inch and a half thick, metal plating, with a choice phrase in Deutsch from my oh-so-lovely first love. I got it briefly after Valentine's Day, about age fifteen, and wore it to my high school that day. That was, uh, interesting.

As it's been said above, the phrasing of the question is very loose; a collar can be, in my definition, a sign of love, or unwilling enslavement. It can be as good as an engagement ring, a palpable signature of your love, or lust. Something customizable that can be used to reflect the specifics of the interaction, to personify the unique, intimate relationship you hold with this other human being. Or it can be just like miniskirts, fishnets, maybe a rubber jumpsuit if that's your thing - an object that adds to your experience during play just by its presence, saying nothing of its uses.

But the item in question came to mean something horrible to me. And when that catastrophe was behind me, disowning the object helped me to move on and grow from the experience.

_____________________________

Many are the wand bearers;
I bear with me no sign;
Yet, I was mad, was drunken,
Ere yet I tasted wine;
Nor bleeding grape can slacken
The thirst wherewith I pine;
And the god, the true Iacchus,
Hears now this song of mine. - Edith Thomas

(in reply to LostMyself)

Profile

Post #: 83

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 10/7/2007 7:10:41 PM

MasterShibari

Posts: 81
Joined: 5/17/2007
Status: offline

I should have made this a poll, but then it would have been regulated to the "Polls and other random stupidity" section and the responses would not be nearly so interesting to read.

M. Shibari

(in reply to diphyes)

Profile

Post #: 84

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 10/11/2007 12:53:34 AM

subnstudent

Posts: 105
Joined: 9/18/2006
Status: offline

well what sorts of question/answers would you put into it? Nothing says you can't take notes and make records and have it organized yourself, ya?

(in reply to MasterShibari)

Profile

Post #: 85

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 10/11/2007 7:38:15 AM

ddthrill

Posts: 45
Status: offline

my collar is His life as i am his possesion

_____________________________

Master Falcon's slave dd

(in reply to subnstudent)

Profile

Post #: 86

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 10/11/2007 9:12:45 PM

MasterShibari

Posts: 81
Joined: 5/17/2007
Status: offline

I should have included a question about wearing it in public. Anyone?

M. Shibari

(in reply to ddthrill)

Profile

Post #: 87

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 10/11/2007 9:41:31 PM

shellzbythesea

Posts: 120
Joined: 5/27/2007
Status: offline

i was taught by my first Dom that a collar had a very special significance, similar to a wedding ring. Even though we are no longer together, i will probably always hold to this ideal. To date, i have never been collared...but i hope to be one day. But it's like marriage to me...i'd rather be alone forever than be with the wrong One. i can wait...and will...perhaps for a very long time (i said i'd wait...i didn't say patiently).

i don't think i would ever commit myself to a Dom that treated a collaring lightly.

(in reply to MasterShibari)

Profile

Post #: 88

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 10/14/2007 7:17:44 PM

subnstudent

Posts: 105
Joined: 9/18/2006
Status: offline

I can honestly say I don't have a problem wearing mine out in public. Yeah, I'm asked about it sometimes. I just tell them that it's just something that I do, something I identify with. The people I've come across so far are satisfied with that, though someone actually interested in bdsm in any of its forms might recognize that aspect of it.

(in reply to shellzbythesea)

Profile

Post #: 89

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 10/15/2007 6:04:22 AM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterShibari

I should have included a question about wearing it in public. Anyone?

M. Shibari

yes. constantly. it only comes off for cleaning it, or if i might damage it. then it goes immediately right back on.

kitten, who cleaned the heart charm on it last night and felt naked till it was back around my neck

(in reply to MasterShibari)

Profile

Post #: 90