RE: So do single female submissives hate men?

RE: So do single female submissives hate men? (Full Version)

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RRafe -> RE: So do single female submissives hate men? (9/25/2007 12:54:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bobkgin quote: ORIGINAL: litleone8620 ~Fast Reply~ I don't hate all men. I hate the men that think it's ok to talk to me like some of them do just because I'm a submissive woman. The ones that don't look past the label of submissive/slave to the actual person/woman. Are you aware that there are some submissives who want to be talked to and treated as a submissive from the word "go"? It is not a role or a label to them, it is what they are (or at least, what they claim to be). To talk to them as a person is a sign you are not strong enough a d/m for them. I can see how men looking to talk with someone like that would end up stepping on toes if they assume to talk that way with everyone. Then why aren't you finding one bob?

SirCache -> RE: So do single female submissives hate men? (9/25/2007 12:55:18 PM)
A big problem--in addition to what has already been stated--is that many single females get enormous amounts of mail. Trying to sift through all of it on a daily basis must definitely take its toll on them (I know it would for me). I figure that if someone is interested, they will write, if not... well, then my mailbox will be empty. Now that said, I've met some really delightful people through here that definitely get added to my Christmas Card list, but I would never consider a relationship with them. Besides, why worry about what reasons other people have for doing as they do? I just focus on presenting myself in a (hopefully) educated, responsible, intellectual, and attractive manner and leave things at that.

Bobkgin -> RE: So do single female submissives hate men? (9/25/2007 12:55:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: susie As others have pointed out a large amount of the male profiles are either fake or are men who have no interest in relationships other than starting online conversations while they "spank the monkey" My experience over the past two months (which appear to be likely the busiest two months I'll see here) has shown me there are a number of female fakes who have no interest in a relationship but seem eager for fantasy fodder.

AquaticSub -> RE: So do single female submissives hate men? (9/25/2007 12:57:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bobkgin quote: ORIGINAL: susie As others have pointed out a large amount of the male profiles are either fake or are men who have no interest in relationships other than starting online conversations while they "spank the monkey" My experience over the past two months (which appear to be likely the busiest two months I'll see here) has shown me there are a number of female fakes who have no interest in a relationship but seem eager for fantasy fodder. Which brings us to the next point: How many of these single females that you are refering to are actually men getting their rocks off?

RRafe -> RE: So do single female submissives hate men? (9/25/2007 12:58:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: Bobkgin quote: ORIGINAL: susie As others have pointed out a large amount of the male profiles are either fake or are men who have no interest in relationships other than starting online conversations while they "spank the monkey" My experience over the past two months (which appear to be likely the busiest two months I'll see here) has shown me there are a number of female fakes who have no interest in a relationship but seem eager for fantasy fodder. Which brings us to the next point: How many of these single females that you are refering to are actually men getting their rocks off? Oh dear, the horror. that all of that misplaced macho may be getting wasted on a game playing GUY.[:D]

sublizzie -> RE: So do single female submissives hate men? (9/25/2007 1:01:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bobkgin Are you aware that there are some submissives who want to be talked to and treated as a submissive from the word "go"? It is not a role or a label to them, it is what they are (or at least, what they claim to be). To talk to them as a person is a sign you are not strong enough a d/m for them. I can see how men looking to talk with someone like that would end up stepping on toes if they assume to talk that way with everyone. Being submissive is who I am. But I am also a person who needs to know that I am seen as a person first. There are too many "dominants" who think that by demanding my attention/time/submission that they can get it. I could easily get sucked into some very bad relationships for me if I am not careful. Insisting that I be treated as a person first tends to get rid of the "dominants" who aren't interested in the entirety of who I am. Those who persist find someone who is more than willing to submit. Just my thoughts........

Bobkgin -> RE: So do single female submissives hate men? (9/25/2007 1:03:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: Bobkgin quote: ORIGINAL: litleone8620 ~Fast Reply~ I don't hate all men. I hate the men that think it's ok to talk to me like some of them do just because I'm a submissive woman. The ones that don't look past the label of submissive/slave to the actual person/woman. Are you aware that there are some submissives who want to be talked to and treated as a submissive from the word "go"? It is not a role or a label to them, it is what they are (or at least, what they claim to be). To talk to them as a person is a sign you are not strong enough a d/m for them. I can see how men looking to talk with someone like that would end up stepping on toes if they assume to talk that way with everyone. So unless I wanted to be treated like a slut from the start, I'm not really a submissive it's just a role? Because Valyraen uses my birth name instead of girl, he isn't treating me like a submissive? Come on, Bob. I know you are smarter than that. I'm not telling anyone how to talk with others. I am pointing out that there are submissive women who wish to be talked to in ways others find offensive. Some have a need for the power dynamic from the beginning. Others do not. Neither does nor should invalidate the other. Litleone's comment indicated to me she was unaware of this other group, so I thought I'd mention it.

missbehaeven -> RE: So do single female submissives hate men? (9/25/2007 1:03:35 PM)
~FR~ Hello all, I haven't read all the responses, and I'll keep mine short. Not everyone here who is single is seeking someone. In my case, the timing is bad for a relationship, and I'm here to chat with others who share mutual interests, and perhaps make a fledgling start in my local D/s community. Finding friends is as good a reason to be here for me now as finding the right one down the road when circumstances are different for me. Not to mention that I find this site a nice way to deal with some very real stresses in my life right now. I wish everyone well...miss

litleone8620 -> RE: So do single female submissives hate men? (9/25/2007 1:04:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bobkgin quote: ORIGINAL: litleone8620 ~Fast Reply~ I don't hate all men. I hate the men that think it's ok to talk to me like some of them do just because I'm a submissive woman. The ones that don't look past the label of submissive/slave to the actual person/woman. Are you aware that there are some submissives who want to be talked to and treated as a submissive from the word "go"? I wasn't talking about all submissives. I was talking about myself. I am not less of a submissive because I like to be talked to as a person first. I find it incredibly disrespectful to be talked down to during my first converstaion with a dominant. quote: It is not a role or a label to them, it is what they are (or at least, what they claim to be). To talk to them as a person is a sign you are not strong enough a d/m for them. Slave is a label to me. Submissive is my personality type. I am a woman first. The men who don't relize that are the ones that get dismissed almost immediately. This is where I differ from the submissive you've described. To me, it takes a stronger man to talk to me as a person/woman before he talks to me as a submissive/slave.

Bobkgin -> RE: So do single female submissives hate men? (9/25/2007 1:07:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirCache A big problem--in addition to what has already been stated--is that many single females get enormous amounts of mail. Trying to sift through all of it on a daily basis must definitely take its toll on them (I know it would for me). I figure that if someone is interested, they will write, if not... well, then my mailbox will be empty. Ah, but suggesting a good one got lost between the cracks invites men to write over and over till they get a response so they know they were considered. [;)] quote: Besides, why worry about what reasons other people have for doing as they do? I wouldn't call it "worry". This is a discussion. Asking people why they do what they do is usually a good topic for discussion. [:)]

AquaticSub -> RE: So do single female submissives hate men? (9/25/2007 1:10:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bobkgin I'm not telling anyone how to talk with others. I am pointing out that there are submissive women who wish to be talked to in ways others find offensive. Some have a need for the power dynamic from the beginning. Others do not. No you aren't. But your words indicated that those who do not wish to talked down to are not submissive, but this is a role to them. This is not a role to me. But if you can not appreciate me as person, you do not deserve to own me. It really is that simple. If others wish to be talked down to from the start, all the better for them. But I don't regard that as a power dynamic because I don't feel that being talked down to is inherantly part of a power dynamic.

toservez -> RE: So do single female submissives hate men? (9/25/2007 1:11:02 PM)
quote: Would it be fair to say that those submissives who are less malleable, less pliable, are more likely to be waiting longer for a match than those submissives who are more malleable and pliable? It is not about the submissive trait. Some people move fast and some move slow. This has nothing to do about being submissive! Would you go on a vanilla dating site and go look at all the men and women on this site? Why is anyone alone? Life is just more complicated to put into submissive hates or is too picky type comments. Submissive trait is easy to get our drug fix. Living a submissive life is much more complicated just like the rest of the people in the world.

Subjecate -> RE: So do single female submissives hate men? (9/25/2007 1:13:05 PM)
No, I think they hate wannabe a**holes that try to perpetuate an image that they have no clue of and think they can learn by watching a bit of porn, reading a few catch phrases and acting like jerks under the guise of "I am Dominant"

Bobkgin -> RE: So do single female submissives hate men? (9/25/2007 1:15:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: Bobkgin quote: ORIGINAL: susie As others have pointed out a large amount of the male profiles are either fake or are men who have no interest in relationships other than starting online conversations while they "spank the monkey" My experience over the past two months (which appear to be likely the busiest two months I'll see here) has shown me there are a number of female fakes who have no interest in a relationship but seem eager for fantasy fodder. Which brings us to the next point: How many of these single females that you are refering to are actually men getting their rocks off? You've misunderstood me. I don't engage in online sex. I suspect if there were any men, they'd have left rather quickly.

sexyred1 -> RE: So do single female submissives hate men? (9/25/2007 1:16:04 PM)
I will not be redundant since so many of my fellow posters already answered wonderfully, but think on this Bob: There are many single men and women out there in vanilla and BDSM land. Otherwise there would not be so many dating sites, events, etc. We live in an accelerated society, we work hard and have little time to meet others who share our interests, some people live in remote parts of the country, have kids to raise, etc. So it bears repeating that one does have to be selective, especially when communicating and attempting to get to know people online initially. Many people compromise to be with just anyone and spend their time living very unhappily or end up in serial D/s or vanilla relationships. Some women who are single, submissive, intelligent, possessing self esteem and standards about who she spends her time with, such as myself, have a harder time finding the right partner. I don't hate men in general, I hate men who are assholes, liars, cruel, abusers, morons, men who hate kids, animals, who have no finesse, taste, no discernable brain cells and who drift through life. Otherwise, I adore men. But I love myself enough to know not to settle for just any warm body, Dominant or not. As for your comment on how easy it should be to find a relationship if you are submissive, that is so stupid, it bears no further comment. Oh, and to answer the question, what are men missing? Try being a submissive female for one day and reading the emails we get, here and elsewhere. Walk a day in our high heels, Bob, and you will clearly see what is missing.

AquaticSub -> RE: So do single female submissives hate men? (9/25/2007 1:16:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bobkgin You've misunderstood me. I don't engage in online sex. I suspect if there were any men, they'd have left rather quickly. No, I didn't. There are men who enjoy pretending to be women. That doesn't mean they have online sex. They just get their rocks off deceiving people.

RRafe -> RE: So do single female submissives hate men? (9/25/2007 1:16:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Subjecate No, I think they hate wannabe a**holes that try to perpetuate an image that they have no clue of and think they can learn by watching a bit of porn, reading a few catch phrases and acting like jerks under the guise of "I am Dominant" I think the percentages would be much more even if that category was removed from the equation. I usually spot wannabes by thier stubborn refusal to see people before they see fantasy. Anyone with any intelligence can.

litleone8620 -> RE: So do single female submissives hate men? (9/25/2007 1:17:24 PM)
quote: Litleone's comment indicated to me she was unaware of this other group, so I thought I'd mention it. I am very aware of this other group. I get treated as if I am part of it often enough to know that there must be a group like that. I am not discounting this group of people. I am not saying I am better or worse because I like to be talked to as a person. It's just not my thing to be talked down to at first contact. This weeds out about 80% of the men who contact me. The rest usually aren't compatible, meaning we aren't looking for the same thing, our personalities aren't compatible, things like that. I'm picky because I refuse to settle.

Subjecate -> RE: So do single female submissives hate men? (9/25/2007 1:21:36 PM)
That is you, how many submissive women develop negitive attitudes before they ever even develop their sixth sense for bull??

Bobkgin -> RE: So do single female submissives hate men? (9/25/2007 1:24:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 Oh, and to answer the question, what are men missing? Try being a submissive female for one day and reading the emails we get, here and elsewhere. Walk a day in our high heels, Bob, and you will clearly see what is missing. You know, that is a very interesting challenge. It would make for a very interesting thread.

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