RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. (Full Version)

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RRafe -> RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. (9/30/2007 3:25:09 AM)

In all honesty, I prefer to get to know someone in person. This medium belies the complexity and richness of true human interactions. I'm open minded enough not to let something as trivial as a few mistakes in writing to force me to pass up something that could be wonderful.

So I tend to be forgiving and patient-with the small things.



camille65 -> RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. (9/30/2007 4:51:08 AM)

General reply.
There is a time and place for chatspeak, but that time/place is not an introductory letter.
For me there is a difference between those that are dyslexic or whose native language is not english and those who make no effort to clean up their text. The former I understand and empathize with but the latter I tend to give short shrift to if it is a continuing habit.

There are some on the forum that fall into the latter catagory but I typically stay quiet. A few I have contacted and offered to help, those developed into friendships. [:)] They have good things to say that will be ignored by many simply because of their style of communication.
Others just plain and simply don't care.

If *you* don't understand why you cannot get past first contact please look carefully at how you go about writing/posting. If *you* need help I would be glad to proofread and correct.
But if *you* continue to butcher the very medium in use then please know you may not get very far with anyone.

It is a lack of respect towards those that *you* write, it shows you do not take the time nor the effort to put yourself in a good light.



windchymes -> RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. (9/30/2007 4:59:35 AM)

I got the one from "THEPAINDOCTOR" too, lol   Apparently he was out riding around in his ambulance last night [;)]



astartefinch -> RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. (9/30/2007 5:05:48 AM)

Jesus that 'pain doctor' is one seriously scary person, hopefully that approach would frighten off everyone, it sure terrifies me!



xoxi -> RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. (9/30/2007 6:09:18 AM)

omg wyndchymes - *please* tell me that was a form letter!  It's somehow less creepy if I know he didn't write tha especially for me.

And yeah...those were all within the first 3 or 4 pages of my email - and keep in mind over half of my email on here is regular correspondence, not weird guys trolling for 'subflesh.'

As far as the topic goes I tend to judge content far more than spelling.  Grammar goes either way - I know sometimes I forget to say "if my mother were here" instead of "if my mother was here" or "I'm doing well" instead of "I'm doing good" and I think that's a cultural thing in all honesty.  Very few people know all the rules of proper grammar - including my best friend who planned on becoming an English teacher before realizing she made more money at the makeup counter of Fields/Macy's than as a TA.

The two things that really bother me are constant chatspeak and ghetto slang.  Any message that includes "so where u stay at" is beyond ignored.  And spelling errors that show complete unfamiliarity with basic words are usually trashed too - the one that sticks out most clearly was something like "I will forfill your fantasies" - I just sort of stared at my computer for a minute thinking "you'll do WHAT now?"

I try not to judge people who obviously speak English as a second language, but to be perfectly blunt if you're writing me from Egypt and I can only make sense of your email by huffing a can of paint and saying it out loud in an Apu accent...we're probably not going to work out.  Yes, that makes me a cultural elitist or supremacist or whatever else - but at least I'll admit it before they buy me dinner [;)]



lighthearted -> RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. (9/30/2007 7:02:26 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne

quote:

ORIGINAL: lighthearted

I am extremely prejudiced when it comes to spelling and grammer, it makes me wonder what else in their life is as sloppy and unmanaged.

when I actually understood what he was trying to say, well, any time the word "true" appears, it's an automatic strike against them, right up there with "real" and the dreaded..."dominate".

(and yes, I am aware that I begin all sentences with l/c letters, except those that start with "I"[;)])


grammar


lol...apparently it's contagious then [:o]



adoracat -> RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. (9/30/2007 7:37:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

quote:

ORIGINAL: adoracat

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

General fast reply.........

I dunno. Iv'e gotten subs that were just a s bad-very dissapointing overall. Especially when they start rattling off the "I do hope you realize that I am sitting on a golden pussy-I'm really STRONG..My GIFT must be EARNED.....yadda yadda yaddda *barf*.

Drop the insecure fantasy garbage you spew to "doms" and just treat me like a human.

Is it really so difficult?


only golden? you havent LIVED till you've had platinum!  mine, bebe, mine!!

*removes tongue from cheek*

anyone can suffer from "full-of-themselves".  and i definitely agree, Rafe. treat me as a human being, and we can discuss anything further from there.

kitten, whose Sir won her in exactly that manner.


In general, I like people.

And in general, I dislike those who cling to negative baggage-life is too short to be a victim.


*nods*  everyone has baggage.  and its not always possible to get rid of the negative stuff.  its how you deal with your negative experiences/baggage that  counts. 

kudos for the positive attitude, Rafe.  :)

kitten



MidMichCowboy -> RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. (9/30/2007 7:56:30 AM)

I also have trouble with spelling at times. That is why I have a spell checker (yes, even in IE). At the very least you can cut and paste into a word processing program. There are a lot of tools a person can use to improve their presentation. Spelling and acceptable grammar are the first image you plant in a person's mind when you are online. Why would you not want to take the extra step of making them acceptable? I don't expect classic literature, but I would like to understand what a person is conveying in their profiles or emails.
Most of the relationship mistakes I have made in the past were as a result of poor communication. So, whether it be writing or talking, I am now, very careful and expect the same.
As for him being a poser, I guess I am heartless.
I'd say that he is, like too many others in the world, a little cock rooster. When people feel like they don't measure up, they concoct the damndest facades. Some are very good at it. A lot of people have a façade or mask they present to the public. Some do it to protect themselves if they have been hurt, some do it because they are afraid of the world and some do it to cover what they see as inadequacies in themselves. I’ve even been guilty of it. Now, I’m just tired of it. I feel if someone doesn’t like me, join the crowd



Celeste43 -> RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. (9/30/2007 8:23:55 AM)

Xoxi wins.

But I don't even use text speak when sending messages on the cell phone. The idea of using it in an email makes me assume you're a minor.



krikket -> RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. (9/30/2007 8:24:53 AM)

When i read a letter like this one, the obvious shortcuts drive me nuts.   If the writer can't take the time to write out whole words, it makes me wonder what other shortcuts they'd be "prone" to when i'm tied up and gagged... (shudders)

They almost always end up being hit by the delete key. 

Cheers
jimini



shellzbythesea -> RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. (9/30/2007 8:29:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: astartefinch

Jesus that 'pain doctor' is one seriously scary person, hopefully that approach would frighten off everyone, it sure terrifies me!



Yes, i received one from this guy, as well.  i think i'd be more scared of the sub that actually writes back...if one ever has. 



Missokyst -> RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. (9/30/2007 8:41:15 AM)

HEY!  I got one of those!  Gawd that man must travel.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

I got the one from "THE-----------" too, lol   Apparently he was out riding around in his ambulance last night [;)]



sexyred1 -> RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. (9/30/2007 8:44:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

HEY!  I got one of those!  Gawd that man must travel.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

I got the one from "THE-----------" too, lol   Apparently he was out riding around in his ambulance last night [;)]



I got that one as well as the French guy who wrote Xoxi. I told him I already had big breasts and could never be considered a bimbo, here or in France, but thanks for the offer.



Missokyst -> RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. (9/30/2007 8:49:55 AM)

I don't see this as spelling errors.  It is more like laziness, though I do know a bit about his background and education was not a high priority in his life.  The UR, where you at?, or spelling errors (which I find tolerable) are things which can be corrected.  Taking time, using spell checkers, or just listening to how people speak, and trying to write as you would hear it, can do wonders for creating a positive image. 
I have begun to think that it is the netspeak, which is the new facade for acceptability.  And that plain and simple, scares the bejeebers out of me.
Kyst



ThinkingKitten -> RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. (9/30/2007 9:13:19 AM)

FR here:
kyst: yup, that was a bad one.
I don't expect perfection in an email but blatant abuse of the English language pretty much garners them a "no thankyou" response. And yes, as xoxi said the ones from Eygpt... or the Netherlands, or somewhere else where you read it and go "huh?". Delete.
 
I started communicating with a Dom recently by email. Not a brilliant writer, but OK to start. Once we got into it though, I could spend 20 to 30 mins carefully writing a (hopefully) well thought out and articulate response... and I'd get back a 3 line, running thought, half answers (or no answers) blurb that looked like it took 20 seconds to do. I complained (politely). No change. So I said (wrote) that there was no point in continuing if he couldn't be bothered to communicate better. He replied with the "I'm a Dom. I look forward, I look to create" excuse, but still didn't change anything...ie it was still a running thought, 2 liner with lots of dots used between the bits of thoughts.
 
I gave up. I was tempted to reply that the folks on the Titanic had been forward looking, and seeking to create a record... and we all know what happened there don't we?
 
 



Sexynmentalinkc -> RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. (9/30/2007 9:23:03 AM)

Approaches often neglect the addage:  You *never* get a 2nd chance to make a 1st impression.


If there are grammar or spelling issues, it says a TON to me about the other person's mindset, focus and sensabilities.

Mom being an English teacher didn't help, since I developed a healthy disdain for its misuse. That being said, that issue is lower on the list than just being REAL and honest.

If I can sense that those 2 things are there, in spades, I'm always likely overlook other things.


*shrug*

- Mr. S



shellzbythesea -> RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. (9/30/2007 9:32:58 AM)

my personal favorite "approaches that mostly do not work" are the (thankfully few) Doms that have written to me solely and only to totally blast my ad and berate me and THEN they put me on some type of blocking system so that i cannot respond.  That's probably a good thing as i really shouldn't be wasting my time or energy in replying to that type of nonsense, anyhow.
 
i mean, really...why even write to a person simply to tell them You don't like them?  What is the point in that?  Just move on to the next ad.



ELUSIVE1 -> RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. (9/30/2007 12:53:07 PM)

I get those too, not sure what the answer is, last week I received a first email contact here that thanked me for my email???well I was born at night-but not LASTNIGHT...that was obviously bait for me to respond and ask'what email' which I DID NOT DO...the following email I got on that space site got my irish temper going a bit, and rendered this member 'banned' from contacting me...(again,first ever email)

I'm sending you two comments for your guestbook. Now be my good little slave and do both of them then message me back the photos. (I promise I won't send them out. Keep your face out of them if you wish.) What do you think Elusive. Would you like to be my little e-mail pet and plaything.

(You can call me Milord)

ppppshaaaw...as if...he is obviously from another site that accepts 'comments' but he is also on my banned members list...if they would only live by the 'only say online what you would say face to face' rule



bootw0rshipJT -> RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. (9/30/2007 12:57:35 PM)

I'm never quite 100% sure of how to approach....I'm always polite and and use proper English, but never sure of how to actually to make the reciever sit up and bother to reply.

I think this is just inexperience though to be honest......



krikket -> RE: Approaches that mostly do not work.. (9/30/2007 1:42:35 PM)

Well, geez, having never received anything like that, i think i feel neglected... but... i'm sure i'll survive..lol

giggling,
jimini

quote:

ORIGINAL: ELUSIVE1

I get those too, not sure what the answer is, last week I received a first email contact here that thanked me for my email???well I was born at night-but not LASTNIGHT...that was obviously bait for me to respond and ask'what email' which I DID NOT DO...the following email I got on that space site got my irish temper going a bit, and rendered this member 'banned' from contacting me...(again,first ever email)

I'm sending you two comments for your guestbook. Now be my good little slave and do both of them then message me back the photos. (I promise I won't send them out. Keep your face out of them if you wish.) What do you think Elusive. Would you like to be my little e-mail pet and plaything.

(You can call me Milord)

ppppshaaaw...as if...he is obviously from another site that accepts 'comments' but he is also on my banned members list...if they would only live by the 'only say online what you would say face to face' rule



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