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RE: Is Internet Experience Seen As Equal to Real Life? - 10/1/2007 9:50:44 PM   
MistressPurpleFL


Posts: 112
Joined: 10/2/2005
Status: offline 		As for many others I have met throughout my experiences in real life the INTERNET is mainly another option that allows us to meet like minded individuals.  I do not play, train or do anything else online with potential slaves unless I have met them in person and I have a task for them to do and it is something they can do without my stern supervision.  It is actually rather boring to be "TYPE" whipping them when I would rather be WHIPPING them. 
 
The internet allows individuals to hide behind the vast wealth of knowledge that the internet provides with regards to terminology of bdsm and some believe that equates having "experience"; I strongly disagree.  There are too many pretenders out there in LALA land.. So I prefer to meet in person and have real FUN.
 
Strictly,
 
Mistress Purple

_____________________________

"Life is too short to stay in the missionary position" By Mistress PurpleFL

"Nothing caresses like a suede whip in my hand; now let me touch you all over." Be me

"Smile at me with your eyes as you KNEEL to serve me with your HEART!" By me

(in reply to xoxi)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Is Internet Experience Seen As Equal to Real Life? - 10/1/2007 10:37:59 PM   
texancutie


Posts: 322
Joined: 7/23/2005
Status: offline 		Well said jesiul!  Thank you for posting.

(in reply to jesiul)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Is Internet Experience Seen As Equal to Real Life? - 10/2/2007 12:28:31 AM   
LDRandAstarte


Posts: 504
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline 		hmmmm... I can take a 73 buick up my ass online!
enough said!

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When I die, I want to go like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming in terror like the other three passengers in his car.

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Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Is Internet Experience Seen As Equal to Real Life? - 10/2/2007 1:10:47 AM   
twistedwillow


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		I see online D\s, for those who are into the online thing, as more like D\s with training wheels.
Eventually you got to kick those suckers off and step out into the real world.
Personally I'd prefer to be less 'experienced'  and keep any bdsm activities real, if that means waiting for someone in rl then so be it.

twisted

_____________________________

Jesus died to forgive our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? —Jules Feiffer
Don't be fooled by the pretty words and sweet face.. sarcasm is the norm not the exception.



(in reply to xoxi)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Is Internet Experience Seen As Equal to Real Life? - 10/2/2007 4:53:02 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		No, I've known so called "Masters" say they had x amount of years experience, take on a slave and then have no idea what to do with her because all that experience was ONLINE. So in my opinion unless you have done it in real life, you really haven't done it, only thought about it.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to xoxi)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Is Internet Experience Seen As Equal to Real Life? - 10/2/2007 5:32:03 AM   
MissSCD


Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline 		No.  I did online a year, and I did dungeon time.  I can tell you No.  Online is simply not real time.  You can experience things online; however, you have the control to step away if you are not under a spell of some sorts from one of us evil Dom/mes.   Believe me, not all  of us are evil by any means, but online is a dangerous way to learn this lifestyle.

Regards, MissSCD

(in reply to xoxi)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Is Internet Experience Seen As Equal to Real Life? - 10/2/2007 5:38:06 AM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		It looks like you are getting different answers from people who have experienced online relationships and from those who have not. It appears those who have not, have no idea how it could possibly be of benefit or contain any "real" experiences and those who have had them, are telling you that they do have value. So, where do you go from there?

I have had some online experiences, both with just friendships and with D/s relationships (although brief because they bombed out quickly) I learned some things from both:

1. Across distance people can be themselves. There are fewer barriers to really getting to know someone.
2. You find people who like to communicate which makes it a little easier. People interested in online D/s already have some things in common.
3. You find people with a lot of imagination. (similar to above)
4. The experience is ALL in the mind, you do not have physical presense and touch to enhance the connection. Sometimes that can be very powerful.
5. It is still a valuable way to explore the mindset of Dominance or submission and to learn and understand the progression of the D/s dynamic within a relationship.

What can't be learned is how to wield a flogger. But that's BDSM, and for many not the most important element.  Personally I think that online experience can teach things that can be learned no other way, just as there are some things you can't learn in real life. So each has it's value. For any D/s couple who will spend time apart, learning how to maintain the dynamic and connection across distance can be helpful.  




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Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Is Internet Experience Seen As Equal to Real Life? - 10/2/2007 5:57:17 AM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline 		Remember the "olden" days when people sent missives on ships back and forth for years.
Those were onlinedpaper experiences; perhaps just as satisfying emotionally.

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Is Internet Experience Seen As Equal to Real Life? - 10/2/2007 7:50:07 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

It looks like you are getting different answers from people who have experienced online relationships and from those who have not. It appears those who have not, have no idea how it could possibly be of benefit or contain any "real" experiences and those who have had them, are telling you that they do have value. So, where do you go from there?

I have had some online experiences, both with just friendships and with D/s relationships (although brief because they bombed out quickly) I learned some things from both:

1. Across distance people can be themselves. There are fewer barriers to really getting to know someone.
2. You find people who like to communicate which makes it a little easier. People interested in online D/s already have some things in common.
3. You find people with a lot of imagination. (similar to above)
4. The experience is ALL in the mind, you do not have physical presense and touch to enhance the connection. Sometimes that can be very powerful.
5. It is still a valuable way to explore the mindset of Dominance or submission and to learn and understand the progression of the D/s dynamic within a relationship.

What can't be learned is how to wield a flogger. But that's BDSM, and for many not the most important element.  Personally I think that online experience can teach things that can be learned no other way, just as there are some things you can't learn in real life. So each has it's value. For any D/s couple who will spend time apart, learning how to maintain the dynamic and connection across distance can be helpful.  


I must take some serious exception to this post.....

1) On the intertube people can portray themselves in any manner they see fit...They might choose to be themselves but there is a tremendous probability that they are portraying themselves as something  far from what one might consider to be accurate.

2) People who are interested in online...Have made a conscience choice to experience fiction....That is all that they have in common aside from enjoying to masturbate to words on a screen.

3) These people have to have some imagination....For they are dealing in fiction.

4) The experience is all in the mind.....Neat.

5) It is a valuable way to get your rocks off....While be dominated by a fourteen year old kid who has a computer.  If that constitutes powerful then enjoy your online experience. Just be sure to clean up your computer so it doesn't start to smell funny.

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Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Is Internet Experience Seen As Equal to Real Life? - 10/2/2007 8:20:49 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline
quote:

It looks like you are getting different answers from people who have experienced online relationships and from those who have not. It appears those who have not, have no idea how it could possibly be of benefit or contain any "real" experiences and those who have had them, are telling you that they do have value. So, where do you go from there?


As a person who would never do anything online and again acknowledge that online has little direct connection to a real time relationship to simply dismiss what people learn online or their experiences online is a tad insincere at the very least. There are plenty of people with plenty of real time experience who are clueless wankers as well.

A relationship is about compatibility and shared values and goals while both people firmly entrenched in reality.

If a person talks about their online experience like it is equal to real life that is lame but it is just as lame as someone talking about only having local community and a little bedroom only experience thinking it is equal to 24/7 M/s if that is what they are talking about with another. My experience was far more of the latter then the former on the other side.

As long as people put their experience in the proper context then why should it be dismissed? I am sorry but reading this thread the answers appear more about online people cheapen my greatness because of my actual real time experience therefore I must rip them.

People can gain knowledge in anything they do. It is thinking that knowledge is all knowing knowledge is lame and dangerous and this can occur in real time or online.


_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Is Internet Experience Seen As Equal to Real Life? - 10/2/2007 9:11:00 AM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

It looks like you are getting different answers from people who have experienced online relationships and from those who have not. It appears those who have not, have no idea how it could possibly be of benefit or contain any "real" experiences and those who have had them, are telling you that they do have value. So, where do you go from there?

I have had some online experiences, both with just friendships and with D/s relationships (although brief because they bombed out quickly) I learned some things from both:

1. Across distance people can be themselves. There are fewer barriers to really getting to know someone.
2. You find people who like to communicate which makes it a little easier. People interested in online D/s already have some things in common.
3. You find people with a lot of imagination. (similar to above)
4. The experience is ALL in the mind, you do not have physical presense and touch to enhance the connection. Sometimes that can be very powerful.
5. It is still a valuable way to explore the mindset of Dominance or submission and to learn and understand the progression of the D/s dynamic within a relationship.

What can't be learned is how to wield a flogger. But that's BDSM, and for many not the most important element.  Personally I think that online experience can teach things that can be learned no other way, just as there are some things you can't learn in real life. So each has it's value. For any D/s couple who will spend time apart, learning how to maintain the dynamic and connection across distance can be helpful.  



There is a huge difference between an online relationship that is preparation for a real time one and an online relationship that will never leave the Internet.

It is not very hard at all to take concepts born in the human imagination, create an online persona, project these things into written word, and be a "good" Dom or a "good" slave.

Why? Because it all exists in the human mind. Beleive me, I am awesome, super dominant in my own mind with plenty of understanding regarding concepts of an authority dynamic.

Taking these things that exist only in the human mind and making them an "actuality" or a "reality" is a completely differnet ballpark in my honest opinion.

Sure, you can learn things online. If we couldnt, then I would wonder why anyone was contributing to these message boards? But, still by definition its "theory". Typing out these great theories that you completely understand logically and flawlessly and actually applying them to your own life are different.

Some of the greatest thinkers have created some wonderfully inspiring and amazing philosophical paradigms, but their own lives bared very little resemblence to them.

As Kiekreggard said, "There is a difference between knowing something and KNOWING something."

< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 10/2/2007 9:14:18 AM >

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(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Is Internet Experience Seen As Equal to Real Life? - 10/2/2007 9:20:50 AM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		See, I'll point out that both TNsteps and Domiguy are getting at are true.

I know I wouldn't be here, now, had charlotte and I not engaged in an 'online' dynamic of some sort.  What I think made it work, was that neither of us were actively trying to make it something it wasn't.  Our expectations were to meet as soon as we were ready (initially, the idea being just for coffee.)  It was only in the couple weeks before I actually flew out here that our relationship (online, phone, whatever you want to call it) had picked up speed and momentum.

As I pointed out early in this thread, I've had experiences online that went sour that had left me very wary of anything internet based.  Yet something about her just felt 'right.'  I can usually tell when someone is fabricating a part of themselves ("1) On the intertube people can portray themselves in any manner they see fit...") because the things they say simply don't jive with either reality.  One woman in Austin comes to mind; the first dozen emails exchanged were "yes Sir, thank you Sir, i'd only live to please you Sir" until I finally talked to her on the phone.  Then it became crystal clear that she'd been playing in chat rooms so long, that her D/s interest was on par with a live action soap opera.

" 5) It is a valuable way to get your rocks off....While be dominated by a fourteen year old kid who has a computer. " - I'd have to say, the last time I found the conversation of a 14 year old to be fascinating, I was still in my teens myself.  Point taken, though; some people are so eager to explore fantasies, that they'll talk about anything with anyone.  Again, only relating my experiences, the online friendship charlotte and Tigrita and I shared, before it became anything else, was just that.  We didn't talk kink, D/s, or sex for several days.  Frankly, if that's all they had to offer, I would probably have yawned and moved on.  Any transportation of rocks was well understood to be far more enjoyable in real life.  When it's clear that sex isn't the focus, but simply one aspect of the relationship, there's a much greater chance of building a more rewarding relationship.

Finally,

"3) These people have to have some imagination....For they are dealing in fiction."  The irony, is that much of what we enjoy is 'fictional.'  charlotte is no more my slave than she is a whore (though I might call her both at home.)  The concept of slavery, as practiced in M/s relationships, is fiction.  The exploration of what sort of activities might be enjoyable, in moderation, can go some distance towards ensuring that a heavy masochist doesn't end up miserable with a light touched dominant.  I fully agree, though, that the vast majority of people who engage in online 'play' of any sort, are just looking for cyberwank material. 

So, the answer lies between; that the insight one might find into themselves online, can have a great deal of value, so long as it is (in fact) fantasy that has the potential to lead to reality.  That everyone be honest about their needs and expectations, up front, is also the difference between playing a role, and pursuing realistic 'fantasies.'

Regards,

Stephan





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Men: Find a Woman here

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Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Is Internet Experience Seen As Equal to Real Life? - 10/2/2007 3:53:52 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kntrybumkn

But i truly would rather have a fucking awesome OL Dom that can get me there then a RL Dom that makes me wish i was sleeping.


Seconded

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Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Is Internet Experience Seen As Equal to Real Life? - 10/2/2007 4:08:33 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann
What I think made it work, was that neither of us were actively trying to make it something it wasn't. 



This for me solves what I feel is a totally dalse dichotomy. here is no actual distincton between r/l and o/l: there are only those distinctions that we create. At least this is true for me.

The dynamic is simply different. yes, a slower and more psychological dynamic in an on-line relationship but where does on-line and real life start and finish? Where in that dichotomy do we place telephone communication, exchange of clothing and scent, where do we place role play: is that actually real-life/

it seems also that there is a kind of arrogance or hierarchy attached to amount of real life experiebce....phrses like I am a dom who jas had 19 years of real-life experience in the lifestyle.....oh so what give me a younf Dom who has just made the switch anyday as he is far more likely to have sympatico with a submissive.

Who needs experience when some of the time is is actually baggage?

Maybe it's because for me and the cultural context of my life, is extremely psychological and I am less attached (no pun intended) to the ropes and the paraphenalia than the nergy between two people. Look; you can domiante me at a glance just as easily across a room as down the lense of a web cam.

One world compliments the other. Two years committed long distance sure does make the bite more tasty.

It's absurd to maintain a dichotomy that really simply doesn't exist anynore. I repeat the world is both falt (everyday experience) and round (the peak experiences of flying) and both relaities exist as posible realities for most of us all of the time.

Oh I have spent so much time dissolving the World of Opposites....I can't go back. I much prefer the World of Absolutes.

(in reply to Stephann)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Is Internet Experience Seen As Equal to Real Life? - 10/2/2007 5:24:52 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		My question is why stay with someone who bores you to yawns? 
  • I would rather have NOTHING than stay with someone who meant so little to me I would rather sleep than be intimate with him. 
  • I would rather have nothing, than depend on living an online life, instead of going out and living a real life, with or with out bdsm. 

Honestly, I am happy with me.  If someone is in my life that can complement my world, then great! Let me smell him, touch him, feel him... and even be relaxed enough in his presense to sleep without a dissatisfaction with my choice.  Conversation across the miles is doable in an LDR, if it has reality for me.  I can masturbate on my own quite well.  But strictly online?  Heck, I would choose to stick to my own imagination. 
I disagree, there is a distinction between r/l and o/l.  The difference is touch. The difference is being up close and personal to the things that annoy the heck out of you and STILL you want them.  The difference is being faced with the reality of life, and even then, you want to work on things together.  Not as beings separated by miles, by senses, and by time, where life is a segment that you can dissolve into fantasy.  I would choose reality, conflicts and all, for that touch.
I suspect many of us would.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: kntrybumkn

But i truly would rather have a fucking awesome OL Dom that can get me there then a RL Dom that makes me wish i was sleeping.


Seconded



_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


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Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Is Internet Experience Seen As Equal to Real Life? - 10/2/2007 6:19:18 PM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I must take some serious exception to this post.....

1) On the intertube people can portray themselves in any manner they see fit...They might choose to be themselves but there is a tremendous probability that they are portraying themselves as something  far from what one might consider to be accurate.

2) People who are interested in online...Have made a conscience choice to experience fiction....That is all that they have in common aside from enjoying to masturbate to words on a screen.

3) These people have to have some imagination....For they are dealing in fiction.

4) The experience is all in the mind.....Neat.

5) It is a valuable way to get your rocks off....While be dominated by a fourteen year old kid who has a computer.  If that constitutes powerful then enjoy your online experience. Just be sure to clean up your computer so it doesn't start to smell funny.


Ok, you can take exceptions but I just have to ask one question. Have you ever had an online relationship of any kind? Did you become close friends with anyone? Meet a sub and get to know her until you felt a close raport? Just feel like you knew someone well and felt close to them?

I think you are focusing too much one the fact that it's through the computer. Just because you are interacting through the computer doesn't mean the relationship is WITH the computer. There is a real person on the other end.

If someone says something online that makes you laugh, was the laugh fake? Did you not really find amusement? Was it just a cyber-laugh? Is the person truly witty? Or is it all make believe because you read the joke instead of hearing it with your ears?

Sure people can lie and not be what they say they are, but they can do that in real life too. The difference is if you are gaining something from the exchange what's the problem? If you enjoy the person's company and find the interaction stimulating and rewarding, who cares if it's a 14 year old boy. (which by the way is not likely to happen). That's the difference in online. Fantasy maybe, so what's wrong with that. Is there really such a thing as a pony girl or sissy maid? If you truly want reality, why are you here?

Maybe it doesn't float your boat, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have value.

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Is Internet Experience Seen As Equal to Real Life? - 10/2/2007 7:51:20 PM   
LDRandAstarte


Posts: 504
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout
Ok, you can take exceptions but I just have to ask one question. Have you ever had an online relationship of any kind? Did you become close friends with anyone? Meet a sub and get to know her until you felt a close raport? Just feel like you knew someone well and felt close to them?


Yeah, met lots of people online here and elsewhere. In fact I met my wife online.
But not going to waste time listening to someone spew on about themselves, their desires and requirements, etc, etc, when 99.7% of the time it's pure bull stink! you are either going to meet face to face and get this party started or go find another mastubatory fantasy somewhere else.
Wifie got the party started, good girl.

_____________________________

When I die, I want to go like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming in terror like the other three passengers in his car.

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Is Internet Experience Seen As Equal to Real Life? - 10/2/2007 8:35:24 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		not in my world!  i'd like to know that when they pick up that 'real life' whip, that they know what the fuck they're doing with it!

(in reply to xoxi)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Is Internet Experience Seen As Equal to Real Life? - 10/3/2007 12:38:22 AM   
donkey2007


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/26/2007
Status: offline 		rolling my eyes over this one. there's no comparison between real life and online. long time topic of conversation. if you have never had real life bdsm experiences, my suggestion to you is unplug the pc, get out of chat and into real life. do some munch's, meet some ppl , check out some play parties and socials. after you try that for awhile glance back to the internet world of bdsm.......

(in reply to xoxi)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Is Internet Experience Seen As Equal to Real Life? - 10/3/2007 2:10:58 AM   
iammachine


Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline 		All experiences have merit in the context in which they are relevant. The internet is not the real world, so online experience is certainly not comparable to real world experience. All the same, I wouldn't dismiss online experience, either.

You can learn a lot of things on the good ole interweb. Reading about something isn't actually doing it however, so that doesn't translate so well. You can read about bondage until you are blue in the face, but you won't know how it feels until you do it, the same goes for any practical skills. But what of things less tangible?

As far as D/s goes, power exchange is just that. You can give someone an order or instructions from across the planet as easily you can from across the room. Certainly the experience is different, but I wouldn't consider it invalid. Power exchange is only one aspect of BDSM, however, and being at a distance does limit what can really be experienced. Again, talking about bondage or s&m activities isn't doing it. Even in a strictly d/s context, there's lots of things that you just can't do if you're not near, and many things that maybe you can, but the effect is changed. You can tell someone to kneel,  but the feeling of someone standing tall in front of them just isn't there, for example - it's simply different.

So yeah, online versus realtime is just apples to oranges.


_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

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Profile   Post #: 100
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