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RE: too strong to be a slave? - 10/1/2007 10:47:57 PM

obis

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You can be too strong to be a particular person's slave, sure. But that's not someone you'd want as your master, so why worry about them?

I'm looking for the smartest, strongest, most kick-ass lady I can possibly handle.

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RE: too strong to be a slave? - 10/2/2007 2:23:31 AM

MaamJay

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As a Dominant, the LAST thing I want is someone whose conversational skills don't extend far beyond "Yes Mistress" and "Whatever You say Mistress". How DULL a life would that be! I want someone who has ideas and opinions, a mind of their own developed from rich life experiences, who is able to express themselves eloquently and clearly. What matters is that, after they have given Me their ideas, they trust Me enough to make the decisions and are willing to abide by those decisions once made. All the D/s couples I have met in real life, I haven't met a Dominant yet who wants a total patsy, so where the OP's source gets the impression the majority do ... well they've not asked any Aussie Doms LOL!

As sub, well, Master is VERY well aware that He has taken on a powerful and successful woman who has lots of ideas and opinions to offer! And He is very grateful for that, He doesn't expect to know everything and is more than willing to listen to other perspectives. What matters is that once He decides, His decision goes. He has what it takes to inspire my submission. And my deep love. And my respect and trust.

I'm thinking from the replies here, the OP is finding out that the so-called majority who prefer doormats are being rather silent!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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RE: too strong to be a slave? - 10/2/2007 2:55:25 AM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

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If all I were seeking was a servant the only characteristics necessary would be honesty and ability to do the service required; strength, intelligence wouldn't be an issue provided they were smart enough and strong enough physically to do the job required of them.

Since I am seeking more than that, strength of character, emotion, and intelligence, are high on my list of values.

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RE: too strong to be a slave? - 10/2/2007 6:18:44 AM

TotalState

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

The REALLY smart people realize that we're all smart and all dumb and all weak and all strong in different ways- and that relationship orientation has NOTHING to do with it. The more you have to talk about being strong and smart and how you need it in another- the less you actually just deal with it on a regular basis.

There we go - the words I wanted to say, but couldn't form without sounding like a prat. Thank you, LuckyAlbatross.

We are all very fond of our D/s relationships and rethoric thereof, and sometimes we tend to read too much into them.

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RE: too strong to be a slave? - 10/2/2007 6:24:59 AM

DocRudy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Hence the difficulty of having a lot of layers going on at once.

The REALLY smart people realize that we're all smart and all dumb and all weak and all strong in different ways- and that relationship orientation has NOTHING to do with it. The more you have to talk about being strong and smart and how you need it in another- the less you actually just deal with it on a regular basis.

Gotcha. Thanks for the clarification.

I mostly agree except I feel that some people are indeed capable of talking the talk and walking the walk. Also, I'm willing to accept that you can still classify a person as "strong" even if they have weaknesses. And conversely how a person can be classified as "weak" even if they have some obvious strengths.

Relationship orientation has nothing to do with strong or weak, however, as you pointed out.

-DR

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RE: too strong to be a slave? - 10/2/2007 9:06:46 AM

Mortlach

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A sub/slave has to be very strong, strong enough to defeat him/herself. That's what attracts me to it anyway. A change to go above and beyond my own pettiness and resistance. And I can't imagine what the satisfaction would be for a Domme if the sub doesn't submit because she wants to or because she doesn't have a choice, but because she can't take on herself.

Another thought, I think a weak-willed slave would be very hard to distinguish from an domestic abuse-victim. To each his/her own, of course, but I firmly believe that even the most extreme BDSM-relationship has to be based on total respect and equality. That both (or more) partners agree to suspend that equality for a time, that's different, but if one partner in the relationship has the idea that he/she can't say No when he/she really means it, that would not be a relationship of which I would want any part.

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RE: too strong to be a slave? - 10/2/2007 9:32:43 AM

SlaveOwnerDave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

I remember being told several years ago that I was "too smart to be a slave". Hmmm... yeah, ok.

I have been a slave for two and a half years and my intelligence and critical thinking is one of the things that he quite enjoys about me and puts to his own use. Strength of character is something that is definitely needed to be his slave as well.

Of course for some people I would be a really crappy slave because of the things that he finds of value, but for him I am the perfect slave.

Knight's Kyra

Being "too smart to be a slave" is an illogical idea. Whether one is a Master or slave has nothing to do with one's intelligence. These are independent characteristics.

My preference is for the more-intelligent person. My intelligence is at the 99.92 percentile. This means that of ten thousand people chosen at random, eight would be more intelligent than I, ninety-nine hundred ninety-two would be less intelligent than I. I find most people B O R I N G!

I do NOT want someone boring to be the person--or even A person--in My life.

A more-intelligent slave can provide better service, can provide better conversation, and when something goes wrong, can tell Me what actually happened. Whether it is a resistance problem, or not being home because (s)he helped the kid next door who had to go to the hospital, I will get honest, intelligible answers to My questions. I can then provide My correct response.

My vote for intelligent slave:

Sincerely,
Master Dave

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RE: too strong to be a slave? - 10/2/2007 10:10:13 AM

HollyS

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi

A favorite quote of mine, that is now lost somewhere on page 2 of my CM journal. I think I will add it to my profile:

A man's sexual choice is the result and the sum of his fundamental convictions. Tell me what a man finds sexually attractive, and I will tell you his entire philosophy of life. Show me the woman he sleeps with, and I will tell you his valuation of himself. ... He will always be attracted to the woman who reflects his deepest vision of himself, the woman whose surrender permits him to experience - or to fake - a sense of self-esteem. The man who is proudly certain of his own value, will want the highest type of woman he can find, the woman he admires, the strongest, the hardest to conquer - because only the possession of a heroine will give him the sense of an achievement, not the possession of a brainless slut.
-Ayn Rand

Thank you for this brilliant piece. So true, IMO.

~Holly

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RE: too strong to be a slave? - 10/2/2007 11:49:21 AM

jesiul

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The relationship of master and slave, is the relationship of total, helpless intimacy. The challenge is for both the slave in her submission and the master in the leadership to do their part. Are their parts not equal? Isn’t the idea that the master takes care of her, while she takes care (expresses her desires, lets her feelings be known) of him?

There must be equal strenght on both parts of the equation.

~jesi~

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RE: too strong to be a slave? - 10/2/2007 12:08:18 PM

CreativeDominant

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I find those women who are truly weak to be non-interesting. If someone needs everything done for them because they never learned how to be an adult or because life is too overwhelming for them or because they were sheltered all their lives then I know that they will not fit with me because I am an adult and act as one, my life is overbearing at times and highly stressful...I need them to help me relax more than I care to be the one to de-stress what seems to be daily life for them...and I cannot stand those spoilt to the point of rotten.

If a woman will submit to everyone...and I am not talking about playtime...then what makes her submission to me special?

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RE: too strong to be a slave? - 10/2/2007 1:35:55 PM

thetammyjo

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Treasure3 I happen to agree with your first master. Every master or mistress I have ever known and respected would also agree.

Fox and I went to a wonderful workshop at GLLA2007 on powerful or strong slaves. It was beautiful to see so many highly capable slaves who have given authority to their owners and now use their power and strength for another's benefit first.

Personally I think that someone who does not want a strong or powerful slave is afraid of his or her own weaknesses shining forth so they choose someone less than them.

There is nothing weak about owning someone powerful or strong. In fact I'd say it is one of the most empowering relationships you can have from the owner's side of the equation.

Can anyone imagine how incredible erotic and masterful I feel when a strong, powerful person kneels before me and obeys my every word? I've been blessed to have this several times in my life thus far and I would never settle for feeling less than that.

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RE: too strong to be a slave? - 10/2/2007 4:25:59 PM

LadyHugs

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Dear Treasure3, Ladies and Gentlemen;

My opinion would be that each 'match-up' must be tailor made for the two people who are involved. I am a rather intense Dominant and consider very strong in my own way. Knowing that all have strengths and weaknesses; it really suits to my best interests to have a slave/submissive who is strong where I may faulter and who is weaker where I am strongest as it compliments the energy between and when exchanged.

That said, I do realize that some 'strong' personality types could/may come across as arrogant and or combative and or disrespectful. If another feels this way about a perspective submissive/slave it might be best to move on and find someone better suited. In addition, not all submissives/slaves 'submit' to any Dom John or Domme Mammie that walks in the door. Some will submit much different for some Dominants then another type of Dominant.

What will never go out of vogue is 'communications' and being well mannered. Good manners never hurt anybody.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

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RE: too strong to be a slave? - 10/2/2007 5:59:02 PM

ThinkingKitten

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Being strong and smart etc can be a double-edged sword.... (*checks her watch*). Yep, 25 years and counting... waiting to find the guy who's got the wherewithal to dominate me (intellect, sharp wit, ego, blah blah blah); to bring out the submission thats just dying to be shown the light. In the meantime, submissive males flock to my feet.... flattering, but not what I want. A lot of men say they want intelligent etc, but when you confront them with it.... my word, how fast they can run! I've met those Dom's too, who as soon as you challenge them on an issue in the "initial getting-to-know each other stage" seem to take it as a personal affront, and then hurl the old "you ain't submissive". My answer: "well not to YOU, I'm not".

For me it's one of the prime callings of submission to one man, because it's in such total counterpoint to the rest of my life. Its almost as though I need it to balance things out a bit! Each to his own though.... the D/s dynamic is sooooo dependent on the individuals involved.

Ah well. Such is life. I'd rather wait than "settle" - I refuse to be weak, just to satisfy someone else. It's also why I enjoy the forums, because it validates the idea that such a man exists....... I read postings from good examples of them all the time

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RE: too strong to be a slave? - 10/2/2007 6:30:08 PM

downkitty

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Its hard for me get a handle on the question because "strong" can mean so many different things to so many different people.

I only know a few people living in power exchange relationships in real life, so my base of experience is not all that large. However, all of the people I know in this type of relationship are what I would consider strong. They are secure in themselves, comfortable speaking their minds (politely), generally know what they want in their lives and strive (as a unit) towards that end. I would call that strong. They are also intelligent, but I don't think that is necessary in order to be strong.

On the other hand, I see "strong" used as an excuse a lot browsing BDSM message boards. Granted, I've generally only a brief one-sided glimpse into the poster's mind, so my perception may be skewed, but I cringe when I see someone with a bad attitude post that they are "strong-willed." Brat does not equal strong IMO. Resistance for the sake of resistance does not equal strong IMO. A seeming need to be "broken" does not equal strong IMO. Rude, outspoken and obnoxious, even if disguised behind fluttering eyelashes, does not equal strong IMO.

I consider myself strong in these ways: I know who I am. I am able to look at my reactions/responses, even in the midst of strong emotion, to determine whether they are knee-jerk emotional responses or valid, reasonable ones; therefore, I am able to nip explosive situations in the bud, so to speak. I am honest. I readily admit my mistakes. I am secure enough to communicate my fears, irritation, joys, sadness (in a respectful way) so that he is aware of my mental and emotional state. I do what I am told/what is expected of me by my Master, even when it is difficult, inconvenient or distasteful. The way I handle every decision presented to me is by putting my Master first, period.

Many people would not consider that strong. Some people would label it "doormat." ~shrug~ My own opinion is that you can't appreciate the strength it takes to do something difficult/inconvenient/distasteful until you have to do it yourself, and you can't appreciate the strength it takes to always put another's interests before your own until you do it yourself.

Disclaimer: These are my own opinions based on my own life. I am a firm believer in "to each his own."

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RE: too strong to be a slave? - 10/2/2007 6:49:53 PM

RRafe

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I tend to agree with kitty-from my past experience.

Someone who "needs" to be broken is only expressing an insecurity in thier choice of a Dominant model. It's basically setting the Top up for future failure-so long as the bad attitude persists.

I refuse to use the term slave-it's become absolutely meaningless in places like this. I prefer to use "servant." An ideal servant has a drive to secure the needs of his or her relationship by putting that relationship before self. The paraodx being, that it is ultimately selfish. By serving the connection, the servant secures a place with the owner.

As far as self awareness-very well stated. If the self is also viewed in the context of the relationship-emotions and actions that may jepordize that come into a much sharper focus. An automatic reflex to negative reactions develops-that being to question them, rather than indulge. And screw everything up.

I get the feeling that kitties' master has a good find. Someone who fits into a certain place comfortably-that's rare these days..

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RE: too strong to be a slave? - 10/3/2007 8:31:46 PM

SirEbonyPhoenix

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After reading this post, the only comment I have to offer is that in the BDSM realm, there are some individuals who, for whatever their reasons may be, are indeed to strong to be a slave. I surmise that part of it has to do with their personalities, attitudes, etc, which leads me to believe that if they have an interest in BDSM, they may very well be considered bottoms at that stage. It is only when they are more free to be themselves, IMHO, that they can go to the next level, whether as submissives or slaves. But until they do, they are whom they are as human beings....mostly vanilla (or for some, chocolate).

< Message edited by SirEbonyPhoenix -- 10/3/2007 8:34:22 PM >

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RE: too strong to be a slave? - 10/5/2007 6:09:14 AM

AEslaveM

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Master told me in the beginning that he admired MY courage............the courage to WANT to be his slave...................

If i was a weak, spineless doormat, i would find myself out on my ass..............

Just my .02........

M

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RE: too strong to be a slave? - 10/5/2007 6:22:28 AM

Owner4SexSlave

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This is my view, a slave being my property, I want to know what is on my properties mind. I find value in human brain power. Not just of a slave but of anybody in general. So, with that said. I want a slave that is smart, and strong and all that. The power of two minds is stronger compared to one. Her brain is one her greatest and most power body parts.

Plus, the mind of another person challenges my own thinking and helps me grow as a person as well as a Master.

Yes, I might use her body over and over again for hours on end. She'd better be able to use her head and mouth for something beside a place for me to shove my cock inside of or cum all over.

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RE: too strong to be a slave? - 10/5/2007 7:45:24 AM

MRandme

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Hmmm... i feel an urge to respond on this.

i am a very strong person. i have had to be, had to learn to stand on my own feet and take everything that life has thrown at me. i am a firm, loving mother who knows how to say "no" and make it stick. i've taught classes as a substitute teacher, tamed cafeteria and recess crowds armed only with a whistle. i survived boot camp and four years in the Army, and i'm a damn fine shot with a pistol and rifle. i can rebuild a carbeurator, change a starter, drywall a room and paint it. In short, i am a capable adult who can stand on her strengths without a man's help. And i had done so for several years.

And yet...

i am a sub -- probably a slave, at heart. i want to kneel at my Master's feet. i want give myself to Him for His pleasure. i want to care for Him when He's had a long day, and rub His feet. i cannot refuse Him, and take pleasure in giving in to Him.

This does not make me weak. It allows me to be stronger when i am away from Him. With Him i can be weak and cry. i can allow myself to be feminine and vulnerable, to not be in control. i can do none of those things outside of our relationship.

i do not submit to anyone else. i kneel for no other man, woman or thing. i am only owned by Him and no one else has power over me. He knows this and it makes Him value me more.

i could not have given myself to one who wanted me stupid and incapable of using my judgement. i could not respect someone who did not respect me and the value of the gift i offer. my submission was not cheap, nor worthless. It was not given without thought and care.

Strength is not a flaw in anyone, especially a sub or slave. my Master told me that it takes a special kind of strength to submit -- if it didn't, anyone could do it.

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i've gone to be with Him again...

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RE: too strong to be a slave? - 10/5/2007 12:46:06 PM

DivaZya

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Seems to be mostly females wondering this -
I've seen too many males begging to be 'just a worm'. to be 'nothing'
Does that take a strength?
I can't find anything attractive about useless, and passionless submissives. When they beg to grovel, yet offer nothing else of themselves, it just says 'do-me thing' to Me.

'Servant' is both interesting and appealing- beg to serve - mean it - and you've got
a chance.
Always the best Diva~Zya

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