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Stephann -> RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? (10/7/2007 1:48:38 PM)
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Bobkgin (and others),
Mr S., Cutiemouse, shoshi and a few others have more than adequately established the point I was making (I'd have responded sooner but charlotte and I were camping all weekend; THAT was a lot of fun!)
You can read more on my interest in body modification here:
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=1214689
Rest assured, that charlotte knew of (and shared my) interests well before we even met face to face. Read the thread, and I'm sure you'll see how there's obviously more than a few people (dominant and submissive alike) who share my point of view.
I know you have a strong position against changing people to suit your tastes. That's great for you. I would pose the question if you would permit or expect her to ever wear makeup? Attractive clothes? Jewelry? These are all simple ways that a woman might adorn herself to make herself more attractive. I love when a woman is made up nicely and dressed to kill. Part of that is because, to me, she is aesthetically more pleasing. Another huge part, is that I know she put the time and effort into herself for me. I find her attractive wearing nothing, with no makeup mind you; but I don't see a reason she should be intentionally making herself undesirable (wearing frumpy clothes for example.)
With this in mind, going to greater extremes (surgery for example) is obviously a more drastic and expensive form of modification; yet I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with a woman wanting to go under the knife, nor me wanting her to do so for me. Surgery, like so many other activities that we engage in, is simply an activity with risk to it. The question isn't 'should we engage in a risky activity' but rather, 'do I find the activity sufficiently desirable that I am willing to accept the risk?' charlotte actually brought the topic of breast enlargement; not because she doesn't like her breasts, but because she mentioned she might enjoy having them a little larger, with a different shape to them. I'm not opposed, but neither am I going to push her into it. The only reason I'm willing to consider allowing it would be because I know she is very happy with her body and appearance and that getting surgery isn't something she'd consider because she think it will 'fix' her.
So, again, it's not just about weight, or breast size, or stretch marks; it's about a whole sense of being, of self. I enjoy having control over all aspects of her life. That's what the collar means, to us. One of those aspects, is her appearance; from her wardrobe, to the way she walks, to the way she kneels, to what she does with her hair, etc etc. I don't care to micromanage her life; she's certainly capable of dressing herself, choosing a hairstyle, or making a decision about if she wants surgery or not. Rather, it's an enjoyable aspect of our dynamic for both of us, for me to make such decisions for her.
It is worth a quick mention that I absolutely love how my girls look Both of them are stunning. charlotte enjoys the body modification kink a great deal, while Tigrita does not. I don't feel either need to be changed, to be the stunning women they are; something they are both well aware of.
taralynn,
Actually, you're not too far off the mark. I do enjoy breaking my girl, myself [;)] The key is that she knows and actively seeks this dynamic, with no illusions about what she's getting herself into with me (though charlotte just whispered in my ear that she has plenty of illusions; I suspect they're probably even darker and more twisted than what I'd be willing to actually do to her though...)
Regards,
Stephan
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