Prinsexx
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Joined: 8/27/2007
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Is your partner on behavioral medication? Anything from tranquilizers, anti-anxiety, attention deficit, to bi-polar disorder meds.
I have had partners who have been yes. Bi=polar personaliteis run in my family and I find them fascinating and am attracted also to a perticular type of creativiyt I consider goes along with that condition. The so-called new neuroleptics are very efficient at controlling extremes of symptoms.
I have also taken medication for anxiety and dperession and take a low level anti-depressant which helps to control the pain of my physical impairment. Where physical impairment and mental impairment ends and begins is, both in my personal and professional opinion a continuum rather than a definite 'line'. Therefore would I, do I and should I have the same attitude to pain killers, insulin, or indeed use of alcohol? Rhetorical question.
Should someone on these meds declare their situation up front? Why? Do we declare this up front on a daily basis to everyone we are in relationsip with? And up front of what? Up front of a telehone call as in I take Prozac and by the way my name is Paul?
Is it fair going into a new relationship, not knowing the full extent of someone's medical history? Yes it is fair as we do it everyday...the person who dives our taxi, our airplane or who teaches our children.
How safe is play, when someone is heavily reliant on these types of medications? First of all no such thing as these types of medication. IMPO (personal opinion) I consider smoking cigarettes disgusting and nauseating and alcohol to be seriously dangerous.
Should the reason for our partner being on theses medications be looked into a little deeper? By whom? I think human rights are far more important and actually the ethical and medical efficacy of those presribing medication is in large part a good enough safeguard for me.
I have come across many people over the years, both in and out of the 'BDSM World', that have been on behavioral medication, both dominants, and submissives. In my experiences, and those shared with me by others, the majority of them have been positive. I do agree with this statement.
There are of course those negative, and harrowing experiences that also come to mind. Without going into specifics, there have been many occasions, that many people, have not found out till much later on that their partner has this need. I think it is really all about individual case histories and there is nothing to be gained necessarily from drawing generalised conclusions. I do feel that contraindications and drug interactions are growing increasingly more complax and that there are many, myself included, who tend to ignore warnings, especially the avoidance of alcohol. I also feel that there is a tendency, myself included, to take a medication, feel 'normal' and then stop taking i. In effect this is the fallacy of self-medication. Few of us want to admit and find it tdifficult to accept that we have a condition, whetber it be so-called psychological or physical which is permanent and never going to go away.
Whether it is a psychological, or clinical need, to give them some normality to their life, they are engaging in a very physical, and mentally challenging 'world', as the BDSM world can be. Some handle it well, some on the other hand are putting themselves, and their partners at great risk. L anoook: in this lifestyle we may think we are terribly different.....but actually I do not believe we are. I think there is as much risk, if not more, to crossing a busy road than being tied up by an experienced Master. There is however the whole arena of consensuality. Is it possibible to give consent when we could not otherwise do so, supoosing for example we have given ther the power of attorney for our actions.
Have you ever experienced your partner, during a 'play situation' just suddenly switch frame of mind,.............yes, and i have and yes we call it switching!!!!.......... not realize who, or where they are, and completely freak out? ....yes but this can happen just as easily if the other (or we ourselves) have taken illiciit substances and not those 'pushed' by the state. Did you do something wrong, or is it the effect, or reasons for their need for the medication? Who would ever really know but I have known of unusual situations..........but I would have to say created because of psychiatric need inother words, a need which cannot be changed, abated or alleviated by medication.
During play, did you trigger a past bad memory or situation? Not that I am aware of but I have had flashbacks triggered inn me and those have been both the most psychologically painful yet the most rewardning
It is always good to get to know your partner, but that would also mean taking a lot of time going over their past also. Something not a lot of people do now days, to many are to eager to just rush into play without thinking of the consequences. I agree with this........ If someone is comfortable with you, they should and may disclose this very personal and private information about themselves. Trust and good communication always being an integral part of it all, you would hope that some of the bad from the past, if it exists, would be disclosed. I consider consensual and safe play needs also to be 'sane'....it is the third component and this debate, which is an important one you have started, I thinkk the sane dimension is the more difficult to define. What is ane for one might be totally derailing for the other whether medication is involved or not.
What do you do if your partner does have problems? As always, discussion afterwards can be good, to try to find out what the trigger was. Maybe discussing what their attraction to the BDSM world is, some people strive to find something in it, and it may not be a good reason for their participation. After care and follow-up is crucial. If it is just play even more imporatant as the relationship may not extend much beyond the time frame of the play itself.
Would therapy be a better option? Well you know my answer has got to be yes. I do not post here in my professional capacity but I can never be other than I am. What underpins my professional life is an ethical code of practice which prohibits me from causing harm to another. I sincerely hope that I also am ethical in my private life..
There are going to be many reactions to this post, I am sure, some good some bad. The purpose, is to get a reaction, and hopefully bring to light for some people, questions to ask, signs to look for, and what to do next when and if they find themselves in this type of situation. Yes: and thankyou for starting this thread. There's more, if not endless reams I could say on the subject.
It is always a good thing to question yourself on your own reasons, or someone else’s, for this type of lifestyle or play, even better to always keep an open mind. No matter what experiences we have all had, there is always a new situation coming around the corner that we may or may not have the means or experience to handle. “We are forever learning, and someone who thinks they know it all, plays the fool.” It wouild be nice, I often think, to know rather less tahn I do.
Prinnie xxxx
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RE: "Partners on behavioural Meds..." - 
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yet I've seen threads go on for 20 pages, where the closest Bob comes to admitting he was wrong is denying he said something. Which to be honest is a definite "I'm wrong" in my eyes but still...I think it's the root of all this mess. 
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