RE: Would YOU Sacrifice the BDSM lifestyle for LOVE?

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RE: Would YOU Sacrifice the BDSM lifestyle for LOVE? - 10/3/2007 6:46:59 AM

MysticMaster2u

Posts: 8
Joined: 9/2/2007
From: Newmarket, ON, Canada
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Real Love is caring about someone's happiness so much that you accept them as they are and for who they are without condition. Anything less is needy, dependant and conditional love. The only way to find Real Love is to be truthful and honest from the beginning. It's not an easy thing to do as we all have selfish desires that we want satisfied even if the cost is our own truth and self respect at times. In the end, complete honesty is the only way to realize true happiness.

Mystic Master

_____________________________

Every soul is potentially divine, the goal in life is to manifest that divinity. By embracing your inner spirit with unconditional love, compassion and understanding, true serenity and peace will be yours. - Mystic Master

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 61

RE: Would YOU Sacrifice the BDSM lifestyle for LOVE? - 10/3/2007 7:37:01 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
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I would haver to say anything is possible. If it is true love then yes. but you never know. people have done crazy things for love when it is right. setting standards or limits on love when it does happen then no way can it grow and do good things. you can not put love in a box.

(in reply to MysticMaster2u)

Post #: 62

RE: Would YOU Sacrifice the BDSM lifestyle for LOVE? - 10/3/2007 8:48:17 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

I haven't had bad consensual nilla sex. <g> Count me among those who love SEX in all its positions! BDSM is intense. I am a masochist.. but I only "need" to indulge when I am stressed. I like to indulge because it is fun. But the need for it is absolute when I am feeling stressed.
In nilla relationships where I am with someone I admire, like, respect, love, there is less stress for me, so the need is less. <g> I still enjoy extreme sensation, but I can get that elsewhere if I must.
I don't think I have ever stayed with a man, nilla, or kinked, that did not rock my world sexually. My sagittarius feet would leave if they were not happy grazing in that field.
But my sensuality is not tied solely to being beaten. I still enjoy sex.
And wow.. I never realised how lucky I am for that.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: ultimatesubbie

I married someone and was miserable for six years because he was not Dom and I thought love would conquer all. I knew after that that I would never be with someone whom I was not sexually compatible with. People can try to minimize sex in relationships but the fact is it is of the utmost importance to me and D/s is not just about sex. It is about attitude and life in general.

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to ultimatesubbie)

Post #: 63

RE: Would YOU Sacrifice the BDSM lifestyle for LOVE? - 10/3/2007 8:56:50 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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You are right. I didn't say everyone who didn't fit my mold was not "true"
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arastella

I'm not going to sit here and argue with you over the definition of what BDSM is. I will say I disagree with yours. And I also said it was MY opinion, unlike you, who states it as fact. Everyone is different, everyone's view of bdsm is different. There IS no right and wrong definition
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I guess I must not be "true". For me, kink is bdsm.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arastella

My personal belief (DO NOTE, BEFORE YOU FLAME ME, ITS SIMPLY MY BELIEF) about submissives is that if you call yourself a "true submissive", then you KNOW you can't just give it up. You KNOW that if you give it up and live a "vanilla" relationship instead, there will always be something missing. And yes, I do believe if the person you found can't grasp the BDSM concept, then they aren't meant to be.

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to Arastella)

Post #: 64

RE: Would YOU Sacrifice the BDSM lifestyle for LOVE? - 10/3/2007 8:58:03 AM

kittensmailbox

Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline

for true love? in a heart beat

_____________________________

~softly smiles

~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 65

RE: Would YOU Sacrifice the BDSM lifestyle for LOVE? - 10/3/2007 9:42:59 AM

DarkDaddyZ

Posts: 805
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline

~fr~

I tried to be in a relationship without power exchange and I was miserable.

Never again.

_____________________________

"Flirting is part of the job description." DJ Jesus (Lucy Daughter Of The Devil)

Vanilla Official Music Page http://www.myspace.com/djzulu

(in reply to MistressPurpleFL)

Post #: 66

RE: Would YOU Sacrifice the BDSM lifestyle for LOVE? - 10/3/2007 9:50:08 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Would I sacrifice BDSM for my love with Darcy.?
Without hesitation. He is my world.
But then, wouldn't the sacrifice be close to ultimate submission?

Peace
the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to MistressPurpleFL)

Post #: 67

RE: Would YOU Sacrifice the BDSM lifestyle for LOVE? - 10/3/2007 12:01:14 PM

Aneirin

Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline

People have to be who they are, not what someone else wants them to be, if to be kinky is your thing where you are truly happy, nothing will ever better this,not even love.I have loved deeply,but kink was denied even ridiculed and labelled 'sick' and there comes the confusion that destroys relationships.

I will not sacrifice the BDSM lifestyle for love again,it does not work.I tried it and suffered for it.

_____________________________

Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

(in reply to MistressPurpleFL)

Post #: 68

RE: Would YOU Sacrifice the BDSM lifestyle for LOVE? - 10/3/2007 1:08:36 PM

EvilGenie

Posts: 1323
Joined: 9/10/2007
From: Morocco and Maine occasionally
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkDaddyZ

~fr~

I tried to be in a relationship without power exchange and I was miserable.

Never again.

But there is power exchange in all relationships in life. I look at my parents and though not defined as such their marriage is most definitely a D/s marriage. My father wouldn't and won't dress without asking my mother what to wear. Someone is always in more control than another and someone is always more catering than another. I consider my marriage to be a D/s marriage, if my original post was read, that is quite clear. He is happy in his role catering and predetermining my needs and I am happy to accept. I am happy that he knows who is in charge and simply naturally likes it that way. Though it must be said I am not much of a sadist and more service orented and he is not a masochist but does like 'rough' now and again about as often as I do. Perhaps we are just both lucky enough to know who we are without the regalia and labelling.

Be Well,

EG

(in reply to DarkDaddyZ)

Post #: 69

RE: Would YOU Sacrifice the BDSM lifestyle for LOVE? - 10/3/2007 1:10:25 PM

SlaveOwnerDave

Posts: 113
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Petaluma, CA
Status: offline

Would YOU Sacrifice the BDSM lifestyle for LOVE?
Bad question!
Would I sacrifice My Ms life for love? No. Because I cannot.

I have had very bad experiences over My early lifetime with nice-seeming people. I have no attachment to people based on their appearances, so appearance has no effect on Me sexually, whatsoever.

I have had people over the years ask Me to/allow Me to do things which seemed unusual. When I ask them why--because I NEED to understand things--they say "You look trustworthy." I can tell nothing about someone by how he looks.

For Me to truly care about someone, that person MUST be under My control. Period. What makes Me trustworthy also makes Me untrusting.

Seeing My SO in My chains, or cage, or kneeling, or whatever, makes Me very hot! Since Ms is considered to be part of BDSM, and SM is a part of My Ms, and since Ms is necessary for Me to love someone... then NO, I cannot give up BDSM for 'love'. That is NOT possible for Me!

Sincerely,
Master Dave

_____________________________

Intelligence, Logic, and Reason are useful--but only when used!

http://www.experienceproject.com/about/masterdavidgoodmen
http://Master-Dave.LiveJournal.com/
[link]http://people.tribe.net/MasterDave[/

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 70

RE: Would YOU Sacrifice the BDSM lifestyle for LOVE? - 10/3/2007 1:16:51 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

I have to say - I am kinda surprised by the defiant 'no' of most responders.
Love doesn't conquer all. It isn't the be all and end all. But what if your submissive or dominant - the one you serve or discipline - the one who you just may fall in love deeply with and who started maybe on this path with you - suddenly becomes ill or mentally incapacitated so they don't want or understand BDSM? Or something occurs that means you cannot have the BDSM relationship you dreamed of with? But this is the person you love?
Everyone is so ready to just dump and run just because BDSM won't be the focus?

Darcy is far more important than what he does - it's what he is that rocks. And I wouldn't give that up for anything.

Peace
the.dark.

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 10/3/2007 1:18:07 PM >

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 71

RE: Would YOU Sacrifice the BDSM lifestyle for LOVE? - 10/3/2007 1:23:42 PM

missbehaeven

Posts: 41
Joined: 1/25/2007
Status: offline

~FR~
This is a fast reply before I catch up on this thread from where I left off yesterday.
I've tried and tried to formulate a response to this, and nothing is coming out the way I want it to.
I'll leave it at that all my major relationships in life have not been authority or power exchange based, and I sabotaged them..Every single one... from the two important, to the lesser, shorter lasting.
So I think I just need to be..me...honest..a bit scared..and tentative.
I believe I need both equally, even though that doesn't really answer the posting question.
Well wishes, everyone...miss

(in reply to MistressPurpleFL)

Post #: 72

RE: Would YOU Sacrifice the BDSM lifestyle for LOVE? - 10/3/2007 1:51:43 PM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

No, i plain and simply couldn't.
However i would consider a vanilla relationship as long as i could still see someone to fill my submissive needs.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to missbehaeven)

Post #: 73

RE: Would YOU Sacrifice the BDSM lifestyle for LOVE? - 10/3/2007 1:54:21 PM

AFlyInYourWeb

Posts: 284
Joined: 8/30/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressPurpleFL

Would you sacrifice the BDSM lifestyle for the possibility of "real" love

No.

First, because I'm greedy; I want both.

Second, because in every 'nilla relationship I tried, I got bored silly with the sex within several months, and going to bed with her actually became a chore..

Third, because I cannot be me in a 'nilla relationship, and in time I grow to resent being in the relationship with her.

If I truly am in love with a 'nilla woman, the most loving thing I could do for her is hand her a parachute and implore her to bail out quickly.

(in reply to MistressPurpleFL)

Post #: 74

RE: Would YOU Sacrifice the BDSM lifestyle for LOVE? - 10/3/2007 2:26:19 PM

MissSCD

Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline

This is an interesting topic. If you sacrifice something for true love, you will regret it; however, you do not want to miss out on the opportunity to experience the real thing like when your toes go all tingly and stuff. That is good stuff and doesn't happen every day.
Find yourself a new way to express your creativity.
Wish you all the best no matter which way you decide, but I choose love. Cannot go wrong there.

Regards, MissSCD

(in reply to MistressPurpleFL)

Post #: 75

RE: Would YOU Sacrifice the BDSM lifestyle for LOVE? - 10/3/2007 2:35:26 PM

Decimus

Posts: 174
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline

I'm more surprised by people who are not like myself and PsyVamp. I'm sorry if I seem close minded and maybe I am but if you all like the "fun" and will leave for love instead of trying to look for the "fun" in addition to the other relationship then personally I think all of you should be more labeled as "kinky people" and not into the lifestyle as many of you claim.

Now I'll be the first to admit I'm very unique in what I look for and what I have found in Aerith, but I for one can't live without this lifestyle so it is only natural for me to search and find someone to fall in LOVE with someone IN the lifestyle. So if all of you just want to play thats great more power to you, but thats all it is, is play it isn't a ideal or a belief as many of you claim.

_____________________________

Here is my story that some people have asked for, www.beginningofdreams.com

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 76

RE: Would YOU Sacrifice the BDSM lifestyle for LOVE? - 10/3/2007 2:45:20 PM

sublizzie

Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline

~fast reply~

I think it depends on what you are calling the "BDSM lifestyle". Due to my particular preferences it would be entirely possible for me to be in a 1950's style relationship. One could also call it the Southern Baptist Convention's style of marriage. I long to serve someone and give them control over my life. I could do that in a "vanilla" love relationship. I don't need the froth of S&M to enhance my submissive root beer. I know very few people who wouldn't take advantage of another's submissive qualities, even outside the "lifestyle". The trick, either way, is to find someone who will use that submission responsibly.

Give up BDSM for love? Yes. Give up my submissiveness, won't happen. It's part of who I am.

Just my thoughts..........

_____________________________

"cooking is my kink"

Collared June 19, 2008
(uncollared 12/21/09 with his death. RIP my Santa)

(in reply to Decimus)

Post #: 77

RE: Would YOU Sacrifice the BDSM lifestyle for LOVE? - 10/3/2007 2:57:41 PM

Decimus

Posts: 174
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline

Sublizzie thank you for elaborating, now personally I agree to a point, I can't, won't and would never even think of stopping being a submissive. BUT if my partner isn't a domme I also couldn't do it, so therefore a vanilla relationship is out. So although I wasn't referring to all of BDSM, it is still required and is still more than a vanilla relationship could provide.

_____________________________

Here is my story that some people have asked for, www.beginningofdreams.com

(in reply to sublizzie)

Post #: 78

RE: Would YOU Sacrifice the BDSM lifestyle for LOVE? - 10/3/2007 3:08:35 PM

littlebitxxx

Posts: 732
Status: offline

Nope. No way. Nohow. No siree bub. Why should someone have to sacrifice anything in love? Been there, done that. Was denied, degraded and called everything but human for even thinking of anything kinky. And called it love.

'Sides, vanilla sex with a Dom rocks. Vanilla sex with vanilla is somewhere between ho-hum and average. And hang up my flogger?!?!?!? Now THAT ain't gonna happen!

_____________________________

There is no such thing as can't unless it is followed by yet

It is the meaningless little acts that become meaningful in the doing.

The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

(in reply to Decimus)

Post #: 79

RE: Would YOU Sacrifice the BDSM lifestyle for LOVE? - 10/3/2007 3:12:26 PM

EvilGenie

Posts: 1323
Joined: 9/10/2007
From: Morocco and Maine occasionally
Status: offline

I see some confusing who we are and what our personalities are hard wired to be and BDSM. The question is moot on the side of who we are as that cannot be sacrificed or even changed to any great degree. WHO we are is one thing, WHAT we do is another. I sacrifice none of who I am in any situation, any time, anywhere with anyone. Many times, no matter where I am or who I am with my tongue is the best flogger that I possess. I can beat someone senseless with words to the point where they are unaware until it is over (no I don't mean calling names or swearing my head off, though at times I do swear at strangers!). BDSM, a term which I hate as it tries to label/define something that is as different individually as eye color, is active/actions where to me D/s is a way of life, a way of living, a mindset along with chosen actions such as service for me.

The question asked is about sacrificing the BDSM not who we are as that can never be changed. I am who I am, a Dominant woman and I cannot change who I am. Can I change HOW I do something? Absolutely! That does not mean that I play with the lifestyle; my lifestyle is a direct reflection of who I am......a Dominant woman.

Be Well

EG

(in reply to sublizzie)

Post #: 80

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