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[Poll]

Random Rant (day 3)


I sent you fan mail
  0% (0)
I sent you hate mail
  6% (1)
I can't believe you got a fan thread
  20% (3)
I HATE YOU!
  6% (1)
Your cute.
  13% (2)
Lap dance please.
  26% (4)
WHEN WILL THE MADDNESS END?
  26% (4)


Total Votes : 15
(last vote on : 10/11/2007 9:22:50 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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Random Rant (day 3) - 10/5/2007 5:34:25 AM   
joanus


Posts: 527
Joined: 2/28/2007
Status: offline 		Ok I'm going to make todays rant short, cause I have a ton of fan mail to answer and an ass load of hate mail to delete.

First, thanks for the Joanus fan thread LadyEllen, but remember if you stroke either a man’s ego or his dick it’ll go straight to his head. Just a friendly warning.

Ok today’s rant is about celebrities. Every time I see one of these one of these rich pricks on TV their in trouble and or in jail. I mean what the hell! If I had all that money I wouldn’t waste my time getting arrested there are too many things I would rather be doing. Although I wouldn’t say no to being Lindsay Lohaun’s (I think that’s how you spell her name)  cellmate.

And that’s today’s rant, happy?

I am now going to answer some questions that I got in the mail.

Q. What’s up with the rants? (13 people mailed me this Question)
A. This is how I let off steam about certain issues that tick not only me off, but a large number of people in general. And I know they tend to be long and sometimes inconclusive, leaving the reader wondering where I stand on the issue, but that’s the point. Like a good politician (oxymoron) I use double talk to make a point while not making myself the bad guy.(maybe I should move to D.C. VOTE JOANUS motto: At least I’m better than Bush)

Q: As an Ex-Chippendale’s dancer are you available for private lap dances? (4 mails)
A: No. the key word here is Ex, plus I hate having to shave my legs, chest, pits, etc.

Q: Why do you comment on other peoples spelling when yours isn’t perfect? (17 mails)
A: If you notice when reading from the first post to the last, my spelling and grammar get worse its because I become less concerned with grammar and more concerned with getting my point across. Also I human and am allowed to make mistakes.

Q: Ok this really isn’t a question but I got 36 mails telling me how cute I am. Personally I don’t even thing I’m half way decent looking.

Q: Why are some of these people getting bent out of shape over one person’s option? (1 mail)
A: Well I believe it may be jealousy. If you notice none of the critics, (and I’m not going to mention names but they know who they are) Don’t come out of the wood work till after I get half a dozen posts complementing me on my looks.(see above Q&A) It’s a full blown case of the Green-Eyed-Monster. But I really don’t care.

Q: What kind of job lets a nut like you run lose with a gun? (2 mailers)
A: I am an assistant BEO (Bond Enforcement Officer) working under a Bondsman in southern Ohio.(trust me its not as cool as it sounds) And the gun in question here is my Raging Bull 44.magnum which is a large 5 shot revolver. Why in this day and age do I use a “wheel” gun, when most lowlifes out there have glocks and AKs? Murphy’s law constantly bites me in the ass. So I don’t need a semi auto jamming on me at the wrong moment, though I do also carry a 9.mm most of the time.

I think that’s enough for now. To all my fans: Thank you. To all of you who sent me Hate mail keep it up I could use the laughs.

I work on weekends so I will NOT be posting any new rants till monday, sorry.

Ja mata

KitSune
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Random Rant (day 3) - 10/5/2007 5:48:09 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		Q: Why are some of these people getting bent out of shape over one person’s option? (1 mail
I'm presuming you mean opinion here - doh.
Anyway it has nothing to do with your looks etc but the way you put yourself across.
 
I work on weekends so I will NOT be posting any new rants till monday, sorry.
Could you possibly make that the first monday in 2010?

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to joanus)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Random Rant (day 3) - 10/5/2007 6:41:27 AM   
joanus


Posts: 527
Joined: 2/28/2007
Status: offline 		I don’t know why you like to come across as you do. But I suspect it was because you either weren’t hugged enough or beaten enough as a child. (Personally I think it’s the latter)
But for what ever reason I get under your skin, I will gladly do it again and again, as it seems to be my purpose in life. My rants are simply to show people their lack of commonsense. For those who don’t lack in that department (and there are very few of them) I merely wish a consensus of mutual opinions. In reality, a realm that must be quite alien to you, these rants are for me and those of a higher persuasion.
You are only here to nit pick and try to start trouble. People like that are a dime a dozen and I really don’t give a flying monkey’s ass, about their low brow ways of thinking.

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Random Rant (day 3) - 10/5/2007 6:48:48 AM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		"show people their lack of commonsense"   Interesting.

_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to joanus)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Random Rant (day 3) - 10/5/2007 6:49:15 AM   
favesclava


Posts: 1608
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		this rant wasnt half as entertaining as the others. boy must be losing his touch. maybe monday . ex chippendales and A bondsman? i think i will stop right here.....

_____________________________

weird is relative not an absolute term. Baron Frank N. Furter
Resident jingly dancing girl
The Pookie Of Darkness
Okay? Ready? Fine .Here's my hand. We are going now. I know the way. All you have to do is hold on tight ... and believe.SK

(in reply to joanus)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Random Rant (day 3) - 10/5/2007 6:49:29 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		Hey! now steady on joanus!

MissT is a great gal I'll have you know, for someone from up north anyway!

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to joanus)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Random Rant (day 3) - 10/5/2007 6:53:40 AM   
joanus


Posts: 527
Joined: 2/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: favesclava

this rant wasnt half as entertaining as the others. boy must be losing his touch. maybe monday . ex chippendales and A bondsman? i think i will stop right here.....


I have a lot of work to do to day thats why the rant was short, plus If I went on about every thing that people do in TinsleTown  this rant would be 40 pages long. I'll make it up to you monday.

And you got it wrong I am not a bondsman, I am a lowly assistant BEO. I can't write bonds and I can't ride solo.

(in reply to favesclava)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Random Rant (day 3) - 10/5/2007 6:54:26 AM   
favesclava


Posts: 1608
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		must perv missturbations profile to learn what floats her boat...
be back later

_____________________________

weird is relative not an absolute term. Baron Frank N. Furter
Resident jingly dancing girl
The Pookie Of Darkness
Okay? Ready? Fine .Here's my hand. We are going now. I know the way. All you have to do is hold on tight ... and believe.SK

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Random Rant (day 3) - 10/5/2007 7:00:28 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: joanus

I don’t know why you like to come across as you do.
Because i can, just as you are free to whinge freely.
But I suspect it was because you either weren’t hugged enough
Hugged plenty, usually by myself whilst in my lovely padded jacket.
or beaten enough as a child. (Personally I think it’s the latter)
Bingo but im sure making up for it nowadays.
But for what ever reason I get under your skin, I will gladly do it again and again, as it seems to be my purpose in life.
Don't flatter yourself, you don't get under my skin. I enjoy (despite warnings from mum not to do it) playing with my food.
My rants are simply to show people their lack of commonsense.
Missts English class, that would be common sense.
For those who don’t lack in that department (and there are very few of them) I merely wish a consensus of mutual opinions.
You only want peoples opinions who are the same as yours? Shame that as i think you will find opinions on everything are varied here.
In reality, a realm that must be quite alien to you, these rants are for me and those of a higher persuasion.
Ranting is for those of a higher persuasion. Well spank my ass and call me bitch cos i'm sure glad im not of a higher persuasion if thats what its all about.
You are only here to nit pick and try to start trouble.
If you say so !
People like that are a dime a dozen and I really don’t give a flying monkey’s ass, about their low brow ways of thinking.
Cool, glad we got that cleared up.


_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to joanus)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Random Rant (day 3) - 10/5/2007 7:03:41 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: joanus

Welcome back to misst's English class.

quote:

ORIGINAL: favesclava

I have a lot of work to do today thats why the rant was short. Plus if I went on about every thing that people do in Tinsel town  this rant would be 40 pages long. I'll make it up to you monday.

And you got it wrong I am not a bondsman, I am a lowly assistant BEO. I can't write bonds and I can't ride solo.


Bitch? Moi? Why thank you. *bows*

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to joanus)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Random Rant (day 3) - 10/5/2007 7:06:15 AM   
divi


Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		signs up for that class!!



_____________________________

( imho )

I really could use a wish right now

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Random Rant (day 3) - 10/5/2007 7:09:28 AM   
joanus


Posts: 527
Joined: 2/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

quote:

ORIGINAL: joanus


Because i can, just as you are free to whinge freely.
I think you mean whine, BTW would you like some cheese to go with yours?
Hugged plenty, usually by myself whilst in my lovely padded jacket.
Yeah thats not in anyway  totally mental.
Don't flatter yourself, you don't get under my skin. I enjoy (despite warnings from mum not to do it) playing with my food.
*MASSIVE NOSE BLEED!*
Missts English class, that would be common sense.
Missts? WTF are you trying to spell? Mist? Miss? Misssed? 
Ranting is for those of a higher persuasion. Well spank my ass and call me bitch cos i'm sure glad im not of a higher persuasion if thats what its all about.
Ignoreance is Bliss but Knowledge is Folly.


(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Random Rant (day 3) - 10/5/2007 7:19:55 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		I think you mean whine, BTW would you like some cheese to go with yours?
No i mean whinge.
whinge      /ʰwɪndʒ, wɪndʒ/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[hwinj, winj] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–verb (used without object), whinged, whing·ing. British and Australian Informal.



to complain; whine. You sure your took English?
 
Yeah thats not in anyway  totally mental.
Never claimed to be sane.
 
Missts? WTF are you trying to spell? Mist? Miss? Misssed?
Misst would be short for missturbation - doh.
 
Ignoreance is Bliss but Knowledge is Folly
No honey ignorance is bliss *tuts*




_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to joanus)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Random Rant (day 3) - 10/5/2007 7:26:06 AM   
joanus


Posts: 527
Joined: 2/28/2007
Status: offline 		Yeah the whole wine and cheese joke went over your head. And yeah I took English, along with Spanish, French, Russian, Chinese and Japanese.(4 of which I failed).
Any who allow me to be the bigger man here and drop this pointless cock fight. I will finish this once I can come up with a way to stab annoying people via the internet.


(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Random Rant (day 3) - 10/5/2007 7:28:53 AM   
favesclava


Posts: 1608
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		Misst, when you give a lesson , you really give a lesson.
are you totally straight or would you bend for the right gurl (misspelled on purpose)
btw, how's the pub going?

_____________________________

weird is relative not an absolute term. Baron Frank N. Furter
Resident jingly dancing girl
The Pookie Of Darkness
Okay? Ready? Fine .Here's my hand. We are going now. I know the way. All you have to do is hold on tight ... and believe.SK

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Random Rant (day 3) - 10/5/2007 7:35:37 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: joanus

Yeah the whole wine and cheese joke went over your head.
No, just didn't amuse me.
And yeah I took English, along with Spanish, French, Russian, Chinese and Japanese.(4 of which I failed).
Bets English was one of them and you're fibbing about being an English major, unless you just missed failure off the end.
Any who allow me to be the bigger man here and drop this pointless cock fight.
That sentence doesn't make much sense. You are asking just who's permission to stop this convo. Not cock fight, i don't have one.
I will finish this once I can come up with a way to stab annoying people via the internet.
Aw sweetie has noone told you i love to play with knives.




_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to joanus)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Random Rant (day 3) - 10/5/2007 7:37:48 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: favesclava

Misst, when you give a lesson , you really give a lesson.
are you totally straight or would you bend for the right gurl (misspelled on purpose)
btw, how's the pub going?


Why thank you. Sometimes i just can't help myself.
I've been known to bend a little bit lol.
The pub is coming along slowly. I'm in the middle of buying a whole new household of things ready for the move. New bed, iron, sofas, whips, chains, shoes lol.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to favesclava)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Random Rant (day 3) - 10/5/2007 7:41:34 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		umm one defense...misst....
quote:


British and Australian Informal.

i have a huge vocabulary and i have never heard the word whinge...i thought you misspelt "whine" as well...

oh and one more that would be Msst's english class...unless you have more than one and then it would be Mssts' english classes...since we are being nit picky...to be possessive you need an apostrophe...otherwise you are being plural...and if you were being plural your nouns did not match up....and you still needed an apostrophe...

and i wasn't going to pick on it because its dialectual (is that a word...i meant because thats how it sounds when spoken...) but the word, when spelled properly is not "cos" its " 'cause" (space inserted for distinction between quotation mark and apostrophe)

and no i don't use proper capitalization or punctuation so feel free to rip mine apart if you really want to, but it won't bother me in the least bit so it will be a waste of time..

mean while, back at the ranch...bubba was giving it to the milk maid....

joanus...if you get upset every time someone here takes offence at something you say, you will be upset all the fucking time...so...relax, let it roll off your back...and if nothing else...laugh at the people who take life way too serious

illegitimi non carborundum

chelle


_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Random Rant (day 3) - 10/5/2007 7:45:45 AM   
pseudopsychotic


Posts: 145
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

If I had all that money I wouldn’t waste my time getting arrested there are too many things I would rather be doing.


I guess we had to agree on something.

&& I still love Missturbation.

_____________________________

Got a problem with me Solve it.
Think I'm trippin? Tie my shoe
Can't face me? Turn around

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Random Rant (day 3) - 10/5/2007 7:46:56 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		oh and one more that would be Msst's english class...unless you have more than one and then it would be Mssts' english classes...since we are being nit picky...to be possessive you need an apostrophe...otherwise you are being plural...and if you were being plural your nouns did not match up....and you still needed an apostrophe...

Holy crap, i'm human.
Ah but hang on i made no claims to be an English major, phew !!
 
and i wasn't going to pick on it because its dialectual (is that a word...i meant because thats how it sounds when spoken...) but the word, when spelled properly is not "cos" its " 'cause" (space inserted for distinction between quotation mark and apostrophe)
It would actually be because but who am i to nit pick
 
and no i don't use proper capitalization or punctuation so feel free to rip mine apart if you really want to, but it won't bother me in the least bit so it will be a waste of time..
I have no desire to rip you apart, humans err and i dont actually care how anyone spells.......until, they brag about being an English major and pick on others spelling.
 

 
 

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 20
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