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RE: Dominant women - 10/6/2007 2:05:21 PM   
SixFootMaster


Posts: 829
Joined: 9/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NoreenSwan


quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin


I generally hear reasons such as "I am very much in control of my life". My answer...ok, so am I and I'm submissive. "I have always been a leader". My answer, Ok....so have I and I'm submissive". "I am the breadwinner in my household and make a good income....I'm a business owner....manager, etc." My answer, ok, so am I and I'm submissive". "People just naturally follow my lead". My answer, Ok, people naturally follow my lead and I'm submissive. "I don't NEED a man, I'm perfectly capable of handling all aspects of my life without one". My answer, Ok, I don't NEED one either and I'm submissive".

"I" am a very strong, confident person with a very strong personality. I can take care of myself, manage my life, maintain my car, mow my own lawn, take out my own trash, split my own wood, hunt and process my own food. When things go wrong I figure out how to make them right, I don't need a savior to rush in and help me out. But....I don't see ANY of these things as being dominant or submissive....I just see these things as being a capable human being. However, these are the types of things that I have had dominant women state as evidence of their dominance. I'm sorry, I just don't see it that way. If I did I would likely have myself convinced that I, too, am a dominant woman.....but I'm not.

The characteristics they describe are the type of characteristics that would likely make them a greatly compatible friend for me. I admire strong people very much. But when they continue to push and wave their "dominance" at me like it's a weapon....that doesn't do anything for me but push me further away from them. It is almost like some view me as some sort of challenge....and yes, I've had some men do it too. Kind of like when a guy walks into a bar and picks a fight with the biggest guy in there....because he's got something to prove. Then of course, when the outcome is not what they set out after, the ultimate response is usually..."well, I don't think you're REALLY submissive".

Someone also asked if I see all men as dominant. No, absolutely not....not even a whole bunch of them who define themselves that way.


you discuss how you can do all the things a dominate girl do yet you are a submissive. well, good for you. dont know why you felt the need to start an entire thread on it just to tell us all that about yourself and your competive beef with girl dominates. but hey, i've seen wierder things. as I see it, sure girls who submit can take care of her life just as well as a girl who dominates. the only difference I see is one girl dominates to get what she wants and the other girl submits to get what she wants. both girls do the opposite (one submits, the other dominates) to get what they want. i think this poster has a point though in that your resentment is from the fact you dont dominate to get what you want, you instead submit to get what you want and you resent having to do that and knocking girl dominataes down to your level helps to justify your judgements on them. youre post seems like jeaous attack on dominates girls is all and i dont know why dominate girls get your feathers all in a rustle. furthermore, where are all these dominte women who are hunting you down? LOL. I would like to know as I would love that to happen to me. I go weak for the power of a dominate girls mental mind fucks, seductive lures and powerful and commanding ways. she snaps her fingers, i go weak. LOL. Like a previous poster said , you want to see a dominate woman, come see my mother. LOL. There you will see leader who lead the family and lead her career. btw, my father was a school principal. LOL


Dominance has absolutely nought to do with what you do or don't do in your life. Those are generally a function of necessity. Whether you are the primary breadwinner, leader of the family unit, business owner or employee - nothing to do with it. You either are dominant, or you are not. Yes, we usually see dominance expressing itself from within through the achievement of these roles, but they are manifestation only.

A man, dominant or not, is programmed to protect and provide by his very biological nature, and it is seldom you will find any man that is fulfilled without doing so. Again, nothing to do with dominance.

You cannot make yourself dominant, you cannot train yourself to be dominant, it is something that is as much a part of you as your own genetic code. The same for submissiveness - you either are, or you aren't.

Noreen, many girls are going to take exception with your post "you submit to get what you want"  because it's the statement of someone who sees submission as a play, a game, or a voluntary act. It isn't. A submissive will submit whether she gets what she wants or not, because it is something she is compelled to do by her own nature. Submissiveness and for that matter dominance are not kinks, they are who we are.

(in reply to NoreenSwan)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: Dominant women - 10/6/2007 2:18:17 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I think that a large part of the defensiveness on this subject, in whatever context (dominant men, women, submissive men or women) is that we are so trained to only identify with ourselves in the context of what is reflected back at us from others. Phrases like, you are dominant but not MY dominant, I am submissive but not YOUR submissive........though true......can also challenge the self confidence of someone that is struggling. It is human nature to perceive ourselves, our self worth, our idea of who and what we are, through the mirrors of other's eyes. When someone reflects something back at us that we do not like or agree with, we become upset because it challenges our own self identity.

And KoM, I ain't askeered of you!!! At least that is my story from here.....

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to SixFootMaster)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: Dominant women - 10/6/2007 2:20:58 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ponyboy7

To KoM,

Iammachine does make a valid point; while I see the OP's statement as merely an expression of her own lack of submission to women, I can also see that from the statement "I don't see a woman as being dominant," one could well infer that the OP believes that women in general are not dominant.


well.. I don't think she has a valid point.  If Her point is that open to interpertation because we are free to infer and project your beliefs into what another says and actually disregard what a person actually says... then well... her point is valid... but personal i think her point is full of shit  and does nothing for effective communication in actually listening to what a person said.   

** mmmmm poor listening would hear the inference that she is full of shit.... effective listeners will hear the view point is full of shit **
** big difference but for some the difference is beyond their grasp **

I don't like Red heads... doesn't infer anything except I don't like redheads.  For example... one can't infer that I like brunettes or blonds.  In fact.. I just don't like Redheads.. and that is all i am speaking about.

Erin doesn't see women as Dominant.  It is an assumption to read anything beyond it.  Assumptions don't make effective communication.  Instead of assuming that she is Infering something.. maybe a person should ask... but wait... if one actaully reads what is said instead of projecting their own issues into what is said... one can easily see that Erin is only communicating how she see Women that label themselves as Dominant for HER.  And not how others should see them.

I don't see Men or Women as Dominant. Doesn't Infer that I see Men and Women as being Submissive.  Fact is.. I don't see them as submissive either.   But.... people will hear what they want to hear and infer what they want.... With such people I give them a chance to get beyond their listening limitation.. but I will soon become tired of it and choose not enter into any substantial dialogue with them.



_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Ponyboy7)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: Dominant women - 10/6/2007 2:22:47 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

And KoM, I ain't askeered of you!!! At least that is my story from here.....


** smiling sweetly *** come alittle closer dear 

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: Dominant women - 10/6/2007 2:34:17 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I think spending time with you and your slaves would be awsome, fun and a fantastic learning experience. Not scary at all.




_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: Dominant women - 10/6/2007 2:38:57 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I think spending time with you and your slaves would be awsome, fun and a fantastic learning experience. Not scary at all.


Thank you...

In a week I will be flying to Florida for a couple weeks and going to Florida Fetish Weekend in Tampa.  SO... come down for a visit an you will also happen to have the opportunity to meet Archer and Elegant.  A 5 for one deal that you just can't pass up.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: Dominant women - 10/6/2007 2:50:01 PM   
Ponyboy7


Posts: 572
Joined: 1/14/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

well.. I don't think she has a valid point.  If Her point is that open to interpertation because we are free to infer and project your beliefs into what another says and actually disregard what a person actually says... then well... her point is valid... but personal i think her point is full of shit  and does nothing for effective communication in actually listening to what a person said.   


Hi KoM,

Well, that is what I am trying to point out; nearly all statements are ineviatbly open to interpretation and analysis. Although the OP may not be implying anything, people may infer extraneous meanings. I was merely positing that a slight modification in wording could reduce the number of people who infer incorrectly. As I previously mentioned, her meaning was clear to me, but that does not generalize to everybody. I do not think there is anything inherently ambiguous in what the OP said, but it seems that there have been others who have inferred unintended implications. Thus, my suggestion is that she slightly modify her wording only if this is a problem for her.

_____________________________

To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.

Blake

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: Dominant women - 10/6/2007 2:53:20 PM   
SixFootMaster


Posts: 829
Joined: 9/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ponyboy7

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

well.. I don't think she has a valid point.  If Her point is that open to interpertation because we are free to infer and project your beliefs into what another says and actually disregard what a person actually says... then well... her point is valid... but personal i think her point is full of shit  and does nothing for effective communication in actually listening to what a person said.   


Hi KoM,

Well, that is what I am trying to point out; nearly all statements are ineviatbly open to interpretation and analysis. Although the OP may not be implying anything, people may infer extraneous meanings. I was merely positing that a slight modification in wording could reduce the number of people who infer incorrectly. As I previously mentioned, her meaning was clear to me, but that does not generalize to everybody. I do not think there is anything inherently ambiguous in what the OP said, but it seems that there have been others who have inferred unintended implications. Thus, my suggestion is that she slightly modify her wording only if this is a problem for her.


FWIW, they have a word for this in interpersonal communication, it's called 'Semantic Noise'. It's a valid point.

(in reply to Ponyboy7)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: Dominant women - 10/6/2007 3:02:16 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ponyboy7

Thus, my suggestion is that she slightly modify her wording only if this is a problem for her.


I don't know if she has a problem with it or not, but she did make the attempt qualify things in the beginning to no avail for some... but in the end .. a person needs to a draw a line.  Yes.. one should speak effectively what a person intends.  Yes one should not speak with an intent to inflame another.  Yes one should be open to answer questions for clarification.   all in the interest of effective communication and an understanding between people.  BUT... the listener has their own responsibility for Effective communication to occur and some individuals are just not good listeners//readers no matter how well a person speaks/writes

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Ponyboy7)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: Dominant women - 10/6/2007 3:45:36 PM   
taintedgypsy


Posts: 228
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: taintedgypsy

Oh and BTW KOM  I love the fact that I enjoy both genders ... it really increases my chances of getting laid lol



mmmmmmm yes.. you equal opportunity sluts... have to envy the greater chances you have of getting laid....  And if a person happens to switch.. their chances are even greater. *W*

but alas... I am content for my own preferences.... it just wouldn't feel good to put on shoes that don't fit.



EQUAL OPPORTUNITY SLUT  ... wow I wonder if I can have that printed on a T-shirt ... I love it

_____________________________

..."Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass ... It is about learning to dance in the rain."

Equal Opportunity Slut (Yeah ... best of both worlds lol)

warm smiles to all

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: Dominant women - 10/6/2007 3:53:24 PM   
taintedgypsy


Posts: 228
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I don't like Red heads... doesn't infer anything except I don't like redheads.  For example... one can't infer that I like brunettes or blonds.  In fact.. I just don't like Redheads.. and that is all i am speaking about.


EEEK my world is shattered, I am no longer sure of where to turn or what to do ... is there a really a prejudice against redheads ... I thought the whole world recognised the wonder of a redhead ... OMG where is the vodka ... where is my blankie ... I want my teddy ... I need reassurance that this was not printed ... how can anyone not like redheads ... sighs ... puts her head between her legs and kisses her arse goodbye this must be the end of the world.

_____________________________

..."Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass ... It is about learning to dance in the rain."

Equal Opportunity Slut (Yeah ... best of both worlds lol)

warm smiles to all

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: Dominant women - 10/6/2007 4:04:26 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: taintedgypsy

EEEK my world is shattered, I am no longer sure of where to turn or what to do ... is there a really a prejudice against redheads ... I thought the whole world recognised the wonder of a redhead ... OMG where is the vodka ... where is my blankie ... I want my teddy ... I need reassurance that this was not printed ... how can anyone not like redheads ... sighs ... puts her head between her legs and kisses her arse goodbye this must be the end of the world.


psssst... I don't like redheads....... but I do love them.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to taintedgypsy)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: Dominant women - 10/6/2007 4:07:58 PM   
lateralist1


Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		I'm still not sure what you meant mistoferin. Did you mean that women can't be dominant or that you can't see them as dominant because they can't dominate you?
It sounds as if you only allow yourself to be dominated if you are in a sexual relationship with a man. Is that correct?
I had a manager once who saw himself as fatherly in his approach to management.
I never once felt that I could relate to him as a father figure.
I therefore found it difficult to accept his view of himself.
Maybe if I had seen another person respond to him as a father figure it would have changed my mind.
I've never seen a Domme dominate in real time. I've watched Dommes 'play'. I've seen a Domme try to dominate her husband but I saw him try to dominate her more often. They both got their own way. However I've seen lots of women dominate their husbands without their consent. A lot more than men dominating their wives without their consent. Unless it's consensual, relationship domination, usually goes with who has the most personal power. Personal power can be achieved in many ways. There may have been a discussion on the ways used but I haven't seen one so I may start one.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: Dominant women - 10/6/2007 5:21:08 PM   
taintedgypsy


Posts: 228
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: taintedgypsy

EEEK my world is shattered, I am no longer sure of where to turn or what to do ... is there a really a prejudice against redheads ... I thought the whole world recognised the wonder of a redhead ... OMG where is the vodka ... where is my blankie ... I want my teddy ... I need reassurance that this was not printed ... how can anyone not like redheads ... sighs ... puts her head between her legs and kisses her arse goodbye this must be the end of the world.


psssst... I don't like redheads....... but I do love them.


That tears it you truely are a scarey torture loving sadist .... now where is that web site with the cheap flights to Canada ......

_____________________________

..."Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass ... It is about learning to dance in the rain."

Equal Opportunity Slut (Yeah ... best of both worlds lol)

warm smiles to all

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: Dominant women - 10/6/2007 6:54:56 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
I don't know if she has a problem with it or not, but she did make the attempt qualify things in the beginning to no avail for some... but in the end .. a person needs to a draw a line. 


Nope, don't have a problem with it at all, which is a good thing I suppose. The one thing I have learned on these boards is that you can explain things 29 different ways plus sideways doing backflips kissing your own ass while whistling Dixie and there will still be those who find some ulterior, sinister motive in what you are saying regardless of how innocent your intentions may have been. Case in point, this very thread....there are some who got exactly what I was saying....and to some I am simply a rude, insecure, resentful, jealous,unsubmissive bitch (did I forget anything?)who makes public declarations to strange dominant women that are entirely unsolicited and antagonizes them by telling them that I don't believe in such a thing. This is evidenced by the fact that I have tried several times on this very thread to explain my feelings but yet still, there are postings by some who those explanations seem to have been entirely lost on.

I just chalk it up as life on a message forum and take comfort in my belief that the sun will likely still rise tomorrow regardless.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 115
RE: Dominant women - 10/6/2007 7:04:00 PM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I don't like Red heads... doesn't infer anything except I don't like redheads.


Hey, I'm a redhead!!!
 
Jewel
 
lol

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: Dominant women - 10/6/2007 7:09:03 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		MEIN GOTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(doing my best Freud impersonation )

It ess on eilness frau Erin!!! Et must be yuar mudder's folt. Ahhhh yes, de mudder was on overbearing betch! Or ef no de mudder zen pearhops on ount or ze gradeskuul teecher. Yeeeess, mony hours uf ze therapeee es reqired.


Edited to add............please contact Doctor Freud's office if a translation is required........

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 10/6/2007 7:11:40 PM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: Dominant women - 10/6/2007 7:14:50 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

xoxi a Dominate woman in vanilla life is a Bitch. A Dominate woman in the lifestyle is someone to be admired.


Oh I couldn't let this one slide past me.

I'm a sub working at slave... that being said... I am NOT a bedroom submissive. But when it comes to the "nilla" side of life.. I'm very dominant. And I point blank have to be.

I am a single mother raising two girls. They're teens now so apparently i've achieved my goal. I can relax SOME now.

But I've had to be tough... fight the courts....my former Master... just to keep my girls..due to my submissive side.. (Yes he brought that up to the judge.. my life style..)

I've had to stand up for my girls and myself against an intruder one night. It'll be one hous ehe broke into that he'll never forget everytime he looks at his scars.

One ass hole decided he liked little girls to women... that was 27 stitches to his face when I found out too. Bounced his face right off the bar in my house. The cops never said a word. (He was known by then... they goodness for the NC child molesters web site we have now)

So though I am very dominant to the nilla world... i'm very much a submissive/slave to the one I serve.

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: Dominant women - 10/6/2007 7:17:37 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

quote:

I don't like Red heads... doesn't infer anything except I don't like redheads.


Hey, I'm a redhead!!!
 
Jewel
 
lol


fucking red heads!!  so damn over-sensitive!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: Dominant women - 10/6/2007 7:21:05 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I've only ever been a temporary redhead so I can't get too upset.

Besides, we all know that "I just don't care!!" And then there is that whole thing I have against, smirking guys in leather pants! Sheesh!

Edited to add:

Oh yeah, and THEN there is that horrid prejudice against MEN that have not one, but TWO hot women in their harem!!!!!!! (glaring at KoM and Scooter!)

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 10/6/2007 7:24:50 PM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 120
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