Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Dominant women


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Dominant women Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Dominant women - 10/5/2007 9:02:42 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		I just know that there will be some who are going to take this post the wrong way as if it were some sort of personal slam....and it's not, so I just want to say that up front.

While I can certainly respect a woman's dominant position in her relationship....or in her community....I don't personally see women as being dominant. It just doesn't work for ME. I've known many dominant women. Some of them are great friends of mine. But I have never FELT dominance from a woman....I just don't get that vibe from them....any of them. I see women as peers.

My question is this though, I have noticed that when I am honest about the way I feel about this, many, if not the majority, will view my opinion as a challenge and set out to "prove" their dominance to me. Some will argue the point with me....and some will go so far as to try to dominate me. Why ladies? I don't get it.

I'm not trying to slam you, it's just that male dominant/female submissive relationships are what work for me in my world. I'm not trying to tell you what to do in yours or what should work for you in yours. Some of us out here are just wired that way....some of us are wired in ways that fit better in your world. But trying to push the point only serves to alienate.  

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Dominant women - 10/5/2007 9:13:09 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		The lifestyle is all about choices. You made yours. Everyone is entitled to their own choice. Respect theirs as you would want them to respect yours.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Dominant women - 10/5/2007 9:17:39 AM   
xoxi


Posts: 1066
Status: offline 		I've known quite a few dominant women.  They were usually just considered bitches...but yeah.  Very confident, always spoke up, demanded their ideas be at least considered if not implemented, and usually very feminist.

If you've never come head to head with one count your blessings

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Dominant women - 10/5/2007 9:38:14 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

The lifestyle is all about choices. You made yours. Everyone is entitled to their own choice. Respect theirs as you would want them to respect yours.


Yup...I do respect their position and that is all that I'm asking for in return.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Dominant women - 10/5/2007 9:40:27 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi

I've known quite a few dominant women.  They were usually just considered bitches...but yeah.  Very confident, always spoke up, demanded their ideas be at least considered if not implemented, and usually very feminist.

If you've never come head to head with one count your blessings



I very much admire the confidence and speaking up....but when it comes to the demanding....well, that is where we butt heads.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to xoxi)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Dominant women - 10/5/2007 9:41:47 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		xoxi a Dominate woman in vanilla life is a Bitch. A Dominate woman in the lifestyle is someone to be admired.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Dominant women - 10/5/2007 9:44:35 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

xoxi a Dominate woman in vanilla life is a Bitch. A Dominate woman in the lifestyle is someone to be admired.


I disagree.....if you are taking it to the point of being a bitch....a bitch is a bitch. I'm submissive but I will bet dollars to donuts that there are people I know in this lifestyle who think I am a bitch.....I can be pretty good at that when I want to be.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Dominant women - 10/5/2007 9:48:10 AM   
SusanStrict


Posts: 27
Joined: 3/26/2006
From: On Top
Status: offline 		"Dominance" doesn't necessarily extend to all areas of life, although I fully appreciate that for some their dominance (or submission for that matter) must be their whole way of life.

There are many women, like me, who find great pleasure from dominating a man (or a woman) "in the bedroom" (and other rooms as well, but you know what I mean!).  There's nothing more exciting than having him tied or otherwise restrained and being able to cause him pain and discomfort, knowing he can't possibly stop whatever I want to do to him, and having him obey me without question at those times. 

Also, dominance for a woman doesn't necessarily make her unpleasant outside the bedroom and neither does it make her feminist.  Personally, I love men and wouldn't be without them, and I have no problem with some of them being more successful in their careers (etc) than I am.  In fact dominance, sexual dominance, in a man or a woman doesn't and in my opinion shouldn't equate to being unpleasant and abusive.  Some are, of course, and that's what some subs like, but even then it shouldn't be all the time.  It's a matter of being in control when it's appropriate to be in control, and behaving with the right attitude when that attitude is appropriate.  When and where it becomes appropriate is entirely a matter for the individual and her/his partner

As for those who try to "push their point", whether they are female or male dominants, that's just arrogant.  If you don't like someone's attitude, you walk away.  If they try and dominate you when you don't want to be dominated, you walk away.  There are enough people with varying attitudes and desires in this world to find what suits you, if you make the effort, without having to endure those who believe their way is the only way.




_____________________________

http://www.strictsusan.com

(in reply to xoxi)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Dominant women - 10/5/2007 9:48:19 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		The problem is you contradict yourself in your post. There is a big difference in writing I do not see women as being dominant, which of course will draw the flames as a gross generalization, and writing I have never felt submissive to a woman which is just your own personal wiring.

My first owners were a couple and the female I certainly most felt submissive to. By nature my feeling of dominance when factored how I feel more submissive to a person is less gender based then just up to the individual.


Edited to switch dominate to dominant.

< Message edited by toservez -- 10/5/2007 9:58:02 AM >

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Dominant women - 10/5/2007 9:53:23 AM   
Youresomine


Posts: 47
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline 		Very much understood mistoferin. It can be hard to "get" people that are very different or think very differently than yourself. It's just good for all to respect each other's views, as I understand you do.
I know dominant women can sometimes be seen as pushy or bitchy. Some are...some are not.
One can exhibit their dominance simply through the way they are...their presence. If other's choose to recognize their dominance, fine...if not that is ok too. In my opinion, you either feel and are dominant, or not. No reason to convince others or push your way in with something to prove.

In the great words of Popeye...I am who I am. 

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Dominant women - 10/5/2007 9:54:21 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		I'm curious as to how these interactions occur. Because going up to a dominant woman and stating "I've never felt any woman give off dominant vibes" is a little rude and I can imagine might elicit rude behavior in return. Why do you feel it necessary to even say this in conversations with dominant women instead of simply stating "I'm totally heterosexual in terms of my D/s, can only feel the vibes with men" should someone else open the topic.

I don't go up to lesbians or bi's and go out of my way to shove in their face the fact that they don't do it for me. If asked, I simply reply something on the order of "Alas I'm hopelessly straight" with a smile.

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Dominant women - 10/5/2007 9:56:58 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

xoxi a Dominate woman in vanilla life is a Bitch. A Dominate woman in the lifestyle is someone to be admired.


I think the semantics are all wrong here. Not every woman who is dominant in her demeanor in her outside life is a bitch, some are, some are not. Not ever woman who is dominant in private is a bitch, some are, some are not.

There is a vast difference between a woman who has a career, for example, like mine, in sales, where on a daily basis I have to be in control, make executive decisions, persuade high level executives to spend lots of money from their budgets, compete with men and women for these same budgets and basically, sometimes command boardrooms.

Some might say that I am demanding in my pursuit of my high standards for myself and those around me, that I am competitive, etc. Some might call me a bitch.

I do not call myself a Dominant woman, though. I call myself just a woman who chose a specific career based on my talents.

But, I am submissive on the other side.

So, let us stop with the sweeping generalizations please because the same man who goes after business as I do is called gutsy while I might be deemed a bitch. Fair? I think not. That is life though in the corporate world, for women.

To the OP: I would never argue with you on your own choices, nor would I ever try to dominate you or anyone else. If you are confident about your opinions, no one can ever dominate you.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 10/5/2007 9:59:11 AM >

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Dominant women - 10/5/2007 9:59:50 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez

The problem is you contradict yourself in your post. There is a big difference in writing I do not see women as being dominate, which of course will draw the flames as a gross generalization, and writing I have never felt submissive to a woman which is just your own personal wiring.

My first owners were a couple and the female I certainly most felt submissive to. By nature my feeling of dominance when factored how I feel more submissive to a person is less gender based then just up to the individual.



I don't think that I am contradicting myself. I didn't say that no women are dominant. I said I don't see them that way. None of them.

As for a couple situation, I would not view a female in a couple as dominant...whether she be dominant or alpha slave...it would not matter to me as irregardless of their position, I would not feel submissive to them.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Dominant women - 10/5/2007 10:01:27 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

I'm curious as to how these interactions occur. Because going up to a dominant woman and stating "I've never felt any woman give off dominant vibes" is a little rude and I can imagine might elicit rude behavior in return. Why do you feel it necessary to even say this in conversations with dominant women instead of simply stating "I'm totally heterosexual in terms of my D/s, can only feel the vibes with men" should someone else open the topic.

I don't go up to lesbians or bi's and go out of my way to shove in their face the fact that they don't do it for me. If asked, I simply reply something on the order of "Alas I'm hopelessly straight" with a smile.



This is pretty much what went through my mind to when I read the OP.

Why even bring up whether or not you feel a certain vibe from people? What prompts someone to make such statements about others?

It has never occurred to me to make similar claims about groups of people or even individuals unless I was specifically asked my opinion.

I could say that I have never myself felt submissive toward anyone, ever, not even as a child, but that is about me not about other people.

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 10/5/2007 10:02:51 AM >

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Dominant women - 10/5/2007 10:06:53 AM   
DocRudy


Posts: 153
Joined: 9/19/2007
Status: offline 		~fast reply~

Part of why you may not personally feel it is because (and this is only a theory) the chemistry between you and women doesn't result in you feeling that a particular woman is dominant.

Take another woman, or a man, and put them in a same room as that woman, and chemistry may result in both of them feeling the dominant woman exuding a dominant "aura."

-DR

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Dominant women - 10/5/2007 10:20:37 AM   
Hotch


Posts: 267
Joined: 5/13/2004
Status: offline 		Power doesn't have to be physical, but if might equals right, then women are at a disadvantage.  In our "civilized" society, men's physical strength is not an acceptable means of control, so there's a window of opportunity for women to rise to dominant positions.

If you believe physical strength and testosterone induced aggression denote dominance, then men are dominant. (Nature’s way)

If dominance is achieved by intellectual, psychological and emotional control, then women are just as capable if not more so of fulfilling a dominant role. (Society’s way)

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Dominant women - 10/5/2007 10:30:12 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Mistoferin I don't view all men as Dominant, even some of the ones who claim to have that nature. But I respect them nonetheless unless they give me a reason not too. The same goes for Dominant/sub/switch men/women. I do not think there is a man/woman on this planet that could dominate me. I am a person who does what I want to do and no one tells me otherwise. I like to be pleased and thats just how I live my life. I do not try force it onto anyone and I don't expect anyone to try and force their lifestyle on me.

Submissive women are different from Dominant women in that there is no doubt. We are on different wave lengths, wired differently if you will. Some sub women respect me as a person, some want to challenge me and some honestly hate me for my nature. I have been told I (and women like me) are the reason that families are failing and I have to laugh. Are people really foolish enough to believe that? I suppose that they are.

So it boils down to this, I won't try to dominate or challenge you. As long we can respect each other for who we are, there isn't a problem. You are happy with your life and thats great. I am happy and content with mine and honestly isn't that what its all about? Finding that which we seek and being happy?

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Dominant women - 10/5/2007 10:36:00 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I'm a feminist and I am Dominant, so I suppose I fit your "bitch" criteria. I don't demand anything from anyone except from my employees and my subsmissive. I think any Dominant, regardless of gender who goes around making demands of everyone they meet is just an asshole.

Interesting note, I've met some very "bitchy" male Dominants in my lifetime and they were very unpleasant. I've also met some bitchy female Dominants as well. Did I mention I've met some bitchy submissives as well? I don't think gender has a thing to do with it, its just the "bitchiness" factor that comes into play. Yes very unpleasant to deal with .

~Lashra

< Message edited by Lashra -- 10/5/2007 10:37:05 AM >

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to xoxi)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Dominant women - 10/5/2007 10:38:20 AM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings mistoferin,

when you question someone's identity in that way, YOU are pushing the issue as well. "dominant women" first of all are not some seamless, monolithic group, anymore than "slave women" are...keeping that in mind would be good. it seems to me you are just projecting YOUR feelings about dominant women onto them and then holding them responsible for not responding in the way you want. perhaps if you stop worrying about it so much (as your feelings about female dominance, and their actuality of female dominance, do not in any way seem to need to be related) the problem would solve itself, and you probably would not receive as much negativity in response.

if you do not see women as dominant, any of them, that's great. for you. you do not need to project it onto dominant women, because being told that they are incapable of being dominant by virtue of the fact that they are a woman is likely to provoke a response, and i cannot fathom that you do not know this. stop making them responsible for the way you feel about the world...living and letting live has to start WITH you.

respectfully,
annabelle.


_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Dominant women - 10/5/2007 10:44:38 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		It's funny that people will flame and get upset because my first response is "I don't care."

I get that some men think all women should be submissive to all men. I get that some women think that all women are superiour to all men. I get that everyone is going to have a slightly different point of view based upon their own shit. And still, I don't care.

When I start caring is when someone thinks they are going to try and put me in their own little box, try to make me fit. Now don't get me wrong, I still don't care what they think or feel, I don't even care if they respect me, but they will not be allowed to treat me in a manner I find discourteous.

Some women I see as being my equals, others I haven't the time of day for. Some I feel awe for, and others disdain. It is all on an individual basis.

On the flip side, I have yet to meet a man that makes me feel submissive. Very few men, do I even respect. To be completely honest, I see most men as very weak. I will however be courteous unless they give me a reason otherwise. Even then I do my best to rise above it........not always sucessfully.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Dominant women Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078