RE: Machismo and BDSM

RE: Machismo and BDSM (Full Version)

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catize -> RE: Machismo and BDSM (10/8/2007 8:00:09 PM)
quote: I wish [;)] It tells me "what", but not "why". I’m not sure that I can explain ‘why’. I can be brave and aggressive and emotionally detached as well. So I need, have always needed, a man who is bigger and meaner than I. If he can make me a little afraid, callously ignore my tears, do things to me that I love to hate, I turn into a soft little ball of submissive lust. Why? Because it just works for me.

Bobkgin -> RE: Machismo and BDSM (10/8/2007 8:04:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: catize quote: I wish [;)] It tells me "what", but not "why". I’m not sure that I can explain ‘why’. I can be brave and aggressive and emotionally detached as well. So I need, have always needed, a man who is bigger and meaner than I. If he can make me a little afraid, callously ignore my tears, do things to me that I love to hate, I turn into a soft little ball of submissive lust. Why? Because it just works for me. I appreciate the effort, Cat. I respect that it works for you. Hopefully others will be able to explain why it works for them.

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Machismo and BDSM (10/8/2007 8:05:08 PM)
To the OP..well I put my 2 cents worth in on the why of it..speculative on my part though it may be...~grabbing flame suit, just in case..~As generations have passed, and societel conformity changes,women on the whole have come out stronger,more educated,et al whilst men have gotten in touch with their feminine sides, to the point of covering up their "true" (yes I said THAT word!) nature..For some women the loss of that inherant masculinity that once abounded has been profound.I feel that the male gender has abdicated a lot of their leadership roles within a relationship,they no longer accept much responsibility for even their own actions.Some women miss that take charge attitude,that quiet confidence,the maturity level of a man and not a post pubescent adolescent...So these are my thoughts on the "why" of it all...Tempting

Bobkgin -> RE: Machismo and BDSM (10/8/2007 8:06:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 quote: ORIGINAL: Bobkgin quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 quote: ORIGINAL: Bobkgin Machismo, as it existed in the world I grew up in, was about men being superior to women. It was about the presumption that it was the male perogative to take what he wanted from women. It was also considered vulgar and rude. You've just descibed a lot of female fantasies and ways of life here on this message board. I'm aware of that. What I do not have is an understanding of why this is so. I have no clue why certain things attract me and certain things don't. I really don't. I can say that my preferences in things are pretty consistent throughout my life. I tend to think that most people's are. Thanks for trying, Aileen. I do appreciate it.

Bobkgin -> RE: Machismo and BDSM (10/8/2007 8:09:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressDolly quote: ORIGINAL: Bobkgin "He stands before the raging spectators, a God in their midst. Machismo and testosterone strewn about him like a train wreck. "He roars, like a beast, a lion challenging one and all to defy his will and step into the arena. "A man takes up the challenge. Smaller, lighter of frame and build. Quiet, alert ... focused. "One bellows as a bull from Hell. The other cocks an eyebrow." Those are fabulous qualities from a male :) Especially when utilized for the benefit of a Woman. ;) "Me, me, me, me." [;)] How are you Dolly? Long time no see. I take it you are talking about what I described, and not my writing talent? [;)]

Bobkgin -> RE: Machismo and BDSM (10/8/2007 8:20:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub To the OP..well I put my 2 cents worth in on the why of it..speculative on my part though it may be...~grabbing flame suit, just in case..~As generations have passed, and societel conformity changes,women on the whole have come out stronger,more educated,et al whilst men have gotten in touch with their feminine sides, to the point of covering up their "true" (yes I said THAT word!) nature..For some women the loss of that inherant masculinity that once abounded has been profound.I feel that the male gender has abdicated a lot of their leadership roles within a relationship,they no longer accept much responsibility for even their own actions.Some women miss that take charge attitude,that quiet confidence,the maturity level of a man and not a post pubescent adolescent...So these are my thoughts on the "why" of it all...Tempting Thank you, Tempting. I'd like to address the highlighted portion of your answer. When you wrote that, I'm wondering whether you took into account the profound influence Women's Liberation has had on current generations, not to mention the dramatic rise of single-parent (mother) families. Women (vanilla women) have been teaching their young boys about how to be men moreso than perhaps any time in history aside from the World Wars. So is it an "abdication" or an expectation they were taught to share the responsibilities with women? Bear in mind I am not including neglectful husbands/fathers in this. Certainly there are men who suffer from such character flaws (as there are women who suffer from them as well). I'm just wondering whether the stereotype for a man lacks currency given the number of men who are being trained to be more egalitarian than the stereotype expects.

IrishMist -> RE: Machismo and BDSM (10/8/2007 8:23:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin I find that generally, the majority of the posturing and grandstanding is done by those who are insecure. Those who actually have "it" don't have to broadcast it. this, I totally agree with [:)]

MadRabbit -> RE: Machismo and BDSM (10/8/2007 8:33:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin I find that generally, the majority of the posturing and grandstanding is done by those who are insecure. Those who actually have "it" don't have to broadcast it. this, I totally agree with [:)] At least, all those macho guys dont specifically make a point to address the audience at large and talk for the silent majority of Collarme.com, huh?

Cyntilating -> RE: Machismo and BDSM (10/8/2007 8:34:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bobkgin "He stands before the raging spectators, a God in their midst. Machismo and testosterone strewn about him like a train wreck. "He roars, like a beast, a lion challenging one and all to defy his will and step into the arena. "A man takes up the challenge. Smaller, lighter of frame and build. Quiet, alert ... focused. "One bellows as a bull from Hell. The other cocks an eyebrow." My apologies if my use of archetypes offends you. I am seriously curious when it comes to machismo, and why some women find it appealing while others find it repulsive. My parents taught me ethics that would preclude machismo, and I cannot say I miss what I've never had nor truly understood. But every BDSM forum I've visited includes ample displays of machismo as well as a bevy of women who find it appealing. And then there are the men and women who are not in any way impressed by it. Thus I am starting this thread for the purpose of discussing machismo as it relates to BDSM. Bob, you wrote: {It tells me "what", but not "why". } The peacock ( male) displays its plume..to show sexual readiness The Lion shakes its mane and bares its teeth...to show dominance. The male guppy is the one with the colors....to attract the female. The Buck with the largest rack... has won the most battles and shows prowess and skill. the females in the animal kingdom look for the above to find the strongest and healthiest to mate with, because something intrinsic tells her that strong bloodline means security/longevity for the pack/herd. machismo in a man is essentially a display of his prowess and sexuality and it speaks to that animalistic place in the hetero-female. ie "bring you and your strong sperm over here hot stuff! let's procreate!" am I getting close? ...............ok taking my nyquil bottle and going to bed now.. it was the nyquil talking, I swear.

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Machismo and BDSM (10/8/2007 8:35:32 PM)
Absolutely I took into consideration womens liberation, and the single (usually mothers) parent households, which is why I came to the conclusions I did about the abdication of men and their responsibilities.I am trying not to point a big finger of blame,,just that the many societel changes have created this phenomenon.And its increase exponentially (sp). Without that strong male influence in a lot of households,that male machismo if you will, will soon disappear altogether, as more and more male children will have less and less direct influence from that male role model...Tempting

Grlwithboy -> RE: Machismo and BDSM (10/8/2007 9:11:47 PM)
I like macho... in butch submissive girls and in small doses.

SunnyTawse -> RE: Machismo and BDSM (10/8/2007 9:30:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bobkgin quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 quote: ORIGINAL: Bobkgin Machismo, as it existed in the world I grew up in, was about men being superior to women. It was about the presumption that it was the male perogative to take what he wanted from women. It was also considered vulgar and rude. You've just descibed a lot of female fantasies and ways of life here on this message board. I'm aware of that. What I do not have is an understanding of why this is so. Possibly they produce more/better/different pheromones...? Sunny

came4U -> RE: Machismo and BDSM (10/8/2007 9:45:05 PM)
A man acting (and yes, that is all it is ACTING) macho is a major turnoff to me. It is a false bravado and I understand why it is emotionless because the man would be more concerned on his appearance in the act of behaving 'machismo' than his care in doing the actual heroic deed. Any behaviour that reeks of chest-puffing in egotistical manner usually occurs when the macho-wannabe assumes that his opponent is weaker or inferior, I doubt very much it is done because they feel superior. I know a man who talked about his past as reacting this way. It makes me literally sick that he believes his behaviour was fair, sane and stable. (long story of what he did, so ridiculous in his reasoning that he was correct) I know manly-men who don't behave this way, is it because they don't have to?? They must see a weakness in another as a reason to avoid confrontation? They don't see the need to convey a macho-strength? I assume we aren't talking machismo as in a soldier/boxer/althelte acting tough ..that is his JOB. We are talking about the average day, of an average Joe who says or does things that are 'out of place' in a certain situation.

MistressDolly -> RE: Machismo and BDSM (10/8/2007 9:51:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bobkgin quote: ORIGINAL: MistressDolly quote: ORIGINAL: Bobkgin "He stands before the raging spectators, a God in their midst. Machismo and testosterone strewn about him like a train wreck. "He roars, like a beast, a lion challenging one and all to defy his will and step into the arena. "A man takes up the challenge. Smaller, lighter of frame and build. Quiet, alert ... focused. "One bellows as a bull from Hell. The other cocks an eyebrow." Those are fabulous qualities from a male :) Especially when utilized for the benefit of a Woman. ;) "Me, me, me, me." [;)] How are you Dolly? Long time no see. I take it you are talking about what I described, and not my writing talent? [;)] Your writing isn't so bad. :)

Lordandmaster -> RE: Machismo and BDSM (10/8/2007 10:08:19 PM)
Yeah, although I've always thought the exaggerated expression of masculinity is kind of effeminate in itself. If you have to prove you're such a big fucking male, you start looking to me like a pussy. To me, a masculine male is one who doesn't have to go out of his way prove himself to anyone because he knows who he is. quote: ORIGINAL: xolarkinxo *Machismo is by definition an exaggerated sense of masculinity. I'd take that over a man displaying effeminate behavior any day.*

iammachine -> RE: Machismo and BDSM (10/8/2007 10:31:40 PM)
As a caveat, I realize that I, myself, and am an arrogant little bastard. I have accepted and embraced this fact. All the same, while I enjoy confidence, bravado makes me sick. In the same right, I enjoy many traits that one might perceive as "masculine", confidence, poise, strength of character and honor (which are really just good traits, but if a man posesses 'em, they're masculine somehow). Machismo, however, inspires my undying disdain (and has led me to lose all respect for a few members of these boards). What machismo represents to me, is all the negative aspects of masculinity: bravado, posturing, unable to see past one's self assured and therefore "infallible" perspective.... I could go on, but I think my point has been made. Many traits, in moderation, might be desirable or even "masculine"... any trait, when taken to excess, is no longer so sexy, in this case... machismo.

velvetears -> RE: Machismo and BDSM (10/8/2007 10:40:30 PM)
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) ma·chis·mo –noun 1.a strong or exaggerated sense of manliness; an assumptive attitude that virility, courage, strength, and entitlement to dominate are attributes or concomitants of masculinity. 2.a strong or exaggerated sense of power or the right to dominate: The military campaign was an exercise in national machismo. [Origin: 1945–50, Americanism < Sp see macho, -ism[image]http://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/luna/thinsp.png[/image]] Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006. American Heritage Dictionary ma·chis·mo n. A strong or exaggerated sense of masculinity stressing attributes such as physical courage, virility, domination of women, and aggressiveness. An exaggerated sense of strength or toughness: "People prefer raw-milk cheese for its subtlety and depth of flavor, not out of some kind of foodie machismo" (Corby Kummer). WordNet - Cite This Source - Share This machismo nounexaggerated masculinity It appears that the dictionary definition makes a clear distinction between masculinity and machismo. Machismo is the presumtion of masculinity through specific posturing, assuming one is entitled, whereas masculinity are traits traditionally considered to be characteristic of men. Exagerating ones masculinity. Sort of like when a woman wears too much makeup to exagerate her feminity (she thinks she lookes prettier but she really looks awful - think tammy faye baker). Some men think by exagerating their masculine traits through posturing they are going to look more appealing or more masculine when in reality they just look foolish (to me anyway) Anytime someone has to exagerate a trait it is a red flag that there is an insecurity regarding said trait.

RRafe -> RE: Machismo and BDSM (10/8/2007 10:44:25 PM)
Machismo? Reminds me of "the village people."

marieToo -> RE: Machismo and BDSM (10/8/2007 10:47:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RRafe Machismo? Reminds me of "the village people." Ha Ha Ha. It made me flashback to Saturday Night Fever and John Travolta.

RRafe -> RE: Machismo and BDSM (10/8/2007 10:50:14 PM)
Well, they did make this point , I guess. If you have that much macho-why waste it on a woman?[:D]

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