RE:Interracial D/s relationships:How do we really feel about them?

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RE:Interracial D/s relationships:How do we really feel ... - 10/9/2007 7:43:01 AM

SirEbonyPhoenix

Posts: 195
Joined: 8/29/2006
From: My realm in Central Indiana (you guess where :P)
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Having read a recent thread about White Doms and black subs, I have to ask this question:When it comes to interrracial D/s relationships, particuarly for those who are in one or seek to be in one, how do we really feel about them? I ask this because we all have our own individual rationales for wanting to be in them, whether it is to fulfill a sexual fantasy or maybe because we truly like the person for whom they are regardless of their exterior features. Any thoughts on this topic?

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RE: RE:Interracial D/s relationships:How do we really f... - 10/9/2007 7:49:41 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
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to me it is no different then anything else we do fettishtistically....we do it cause it flips our switches, turns us on....rocks our boat.

but hopefully we would reallly like the person we are in relationship with regardless, otherwise i think it would be a self worth issue, i dont understand relationships based purly on objectification....to me there has to be some fondness and or some mutual respect.

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RE: RE:Interracial D/s relationships:How do we really f... - 10/9/2007 7:50:58 AM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

If the two are happy I don't care what they are. Gay, straight, black or white.

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RE: RE:Interracial D/s relationships:How do we really f... - 10/9/2007 7:54:30 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirEbonyPhoenix

Having read a recent thread about White Doms and black subs, I have to ask this question:When it comes to interrracial D/s relationships, particuarly for those who are in one or seek to be in one, how do we really feel about them? I ask this because we all have our own individual rationales for wanting to be in them, whether it is to fulfill a sexual fantasy or maybe because we truly like the person for whom they are regardless of their exterior features. Any thoughts on this topic?

I don't deny that contrasting colors of skin turns me on. There are other aspects of the racial difference that also come into play. However...I have never been into the idea of being with someone with solely "object" features at the core of the relationship. While I find many black or brown or yellow women appealing, if there was not something there other than the color or the submissive aspect, there would be nothing to draw me to them.

(in reply to SirEbonyPhoenix)

Post #: 4

RE: RE:Interracial D/s relationships:How do we really f... - 10/9/2007 7:59:48 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirEbonyPhoenix

Having read a recent thread about White Doms and black subs, I have to ask this question:When it comes to interrracial D/s relationships, particuarly for those who are in one or seek to be in one, how do we really feel about them? I ask this because we all have our own individual rationales for wanting to be in them, whether it is to fulfill a sexual fantasy or maybe because we truly like the person for whom they are regardless of their exterior features. Any thoughts on this topic?

We? I can only speak for me, not we.

I don't focus on race, to me it is irrelevant. I love the skin tone of many mixed race people simply for the aesthetics. There are some physical characteristics that are more prevalent in some races I find visually appealing. But to make a decision about a person based solely upon their race is not something I would do.

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(in reply to SirEbonyPhoenix)

Post #: 5

RE: RE:Interracial D/s relationships:How do we really f... - 10/9/2007 8:18:04 AM

littlebitxxx

Posts: 732
Status: offline

Good question, Ebony. I'm wondering if, because our little niche in life is built on having tolerance for another's kink, this doesn't extend also to interracial relationships. I have found people in the community to be more open minded toward others according to all kinds of physical aspects as compared to the straight, nilla world I came from. It's not that anyone lowered/altered standards but merely changed outlook. People on the inside are far more interesting than what they are on the outside. The dynamics of a D/s relationship, or even just casual SM play, seem to make any relationship much more intense and therefore the two people need to know so much more about each other before entering into one.

Personally, I tried to bring my children up to be aware yet tolerant. I think it succeeded because both are colour blind. I'm hoping that will evolve as well. I see colour, race, ethnicity, whatever you call it...and I appreciate and celebrate the differences. I ask questions, which to some is insulting and to others okay; all depending on who I ask and how the question is phrased, I guess.

I have been approached by several black Doms. Two in particular really made me stop and think. They stated they wanted a white woman as their slave specifically because of the reverse symbolism they saw. After talking awhile and having it explained, I have to admit the idea turned me on as well. I do find the contrast in colour erotic, especially when naked and entwined. Mind you, I don't think that as a sole reason to get together is such a good idea. To fulfill a sexual fantasy? Maybe for some, as for these two Doms. But I would rather hope that most would enter a relationship based on what is inside.

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There is no such thing as can't unless it is followed by yet

It is the meaningless little acts that become meaningful in the doing.

The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

(in reply to SirEbonyPhoenix)

Post #: 6

RE: RE:Interracial D/s relationships:How do we really f... - 10/9/2007 8:19:14 AM

LadyLynx

Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
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In General: what ever floats their boat. For me specifically I prefer those that are caucasian I hope my statement doesn't label me as a racist. As much as I like to pretend that what society thinks doesn't bother me, when it comes to this issue, I choose to only date caucasian men. And sometimes it has to do with stereotypes. Have I met African American men who do not give into the stereotypes and that I was attracted to? Yes quite a few. But since all of them were married or with someone it was a moot point. I have also met African American women that I like and am attracted to. Now there is a possibility that I would get involved with a African American man or woman, I am reluctant to rule that out. A guy that I had went out with a while back, (blind date, he was a friend of a friend, she set us up because of our interest in the lifestyle.) He told me bluntly that he wasn't attracted. He liked African American women, and he would regardless of his lifestyle interests. Was my feelings hurt? yes alittle. I got over it, and we proceeded to have a very interesting discussion. A few months goes by,then he writes to tell me he has moved down south to be with his new Mistress. (he sent me a picture, oooooo very beautiful African American lady. so I had some pretty interesting fantasies for a while. *smirks*) I hope I don't get flamed for my post, but if I do, well I don't blame those that do. And write an email to me, instead of on the message boards.

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Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to camille65)

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RE: RE:Interracial D/s relationships:How do we really f... - 10/9/2007 8:20:17 AM

cbtok

Posts: 70
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline

I'm a great appreciator of the human race. Colors, the way the eye appears (as well as eye color) the shape of the nose, or the lips or the ears, the type of hair and so on really don't matter to me that much.

Like LaTigresse, I love varying shades of skin tone. Mine is really white, so much so that I can easily get sun poisoning after being in the sun for a period of time with no protection (a definite disadvantage in the tropics). Some people are really drawn to that. Others are drawn to other shades.

Some of the things I value completely trump shape, color and hair, like intelligence, a sense of humor, the honor one gives another person and the fun one has in life. You could be the hottest person on the planet (of any outward appearance) and, if your glass is always "half empty" you'd be of little interest, save just to look at. And with people, looking is very nice but that only lasts a very short time.

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What if there were no hypothetical questions?

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RE: RE:Interracial D/s relationships:How do we really f... - 10/9/2007 8:27:09 AM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

It is no different then any other traits and regular relationships. If that is all the person is attracted to then it is bad. If that is just one of the many reasons, even if it is a large one, then I do not see any issue.

It is like any other trait people may search out. Take this life for example if looking for a dominant and all you care about is that part and ignore all the other things in a person then you are almost guaranteed failure.

Part of my learning experience in life was finding out there are people who literally are only interested in my skin color and false stereotypes, but they quickly became easy to spot.

I do not have a problem at all if my skin color is an attraction to someone just as long as it is not the only or biggest by far attraction. We all have preferences in what we are attracted to that someone might call shallow including me. I try not to be hypocritical.

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I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

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(in reply to SirEbonyPhoenix)

Post #: 9

RE: RE:Interracial D/s relationships:How do we really f... - 10/9/2007 8:27:40 AM

LadyLynx

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Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline

littlebit, while I can understand what they mean by symbolism, (my warped sense of humor is amused by it.) If I had been approached with that, it would bug me. though I am not sure if it has more to do with the fact that I am not slave material.

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to LadyLynx)

Post #: 10

RE: RE:Interracial D/s relationships:How do we really f... - 10/9/2007 8:29:32 AM

tornaway

Posts: 174
Joined: 4/14/2007
Status: offline

Vive le difference !!! I savor the variables of all the human race - but when it comes to going beyond that - I try to look deeply into one's heart .

(in reply to cbtok)

Post #: 11

RE: RE:Interracial D/s relationships:How do we really f... - 10/9/2007 8:32:32 AM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

I believe its a personal preference....like anything else. Some are attracted to black people...some are not...some are attracted to tall some are not.....Whatever floats your boat.

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RE: RE:Interracial D/s relationships:How do we really f... - 10/9/2007 8:33:17 AM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

I've never met a canvas for my rope that wasn't beautiful regardless of shape, size or color. Having said that....finding the perfect canvas...the one that I don't call "a canvas", but "My Love" is an amazing thing and I never chose because of one's skin color I chose because of core personality traits that matter to me. e01n could be green and it wouldn't matter; he is "the one" because of who he is, not what he is.

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D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

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RE: RE:Interracial D/s relationships:How do we really f... - 10/9/2007 8:34:14 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

for me it's a personal preference since Daddy and SO/Dom are both white

i prefer being with a white man for a variety of reasonings (which i shall not disclose here) however i'm more attracted and comfortable around others outside my race. i attribute my attraction towards white men from the way i raised and my family strutcture.

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(in reply to SirEbonyPhoenix)

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RE: RE:Interracial D/s relationships:How do we really f... - 10/9/2007 8:47:10 AM

littlebitxxx

Posts: 732
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLynx

littlebit, while I can understand what they mean by symbolism, (my warped sense of humor is amused by it.) If I had been approached with that, it would bug me. though I am not sure if it has more to do with the fact that I am not slave material.

Hi LadyLynx, When I first read what they said, yeah it bugged me too. I wondered if they were willing to settle on any white woman whether they got along or not. I also thought that attitude may have led to a somewhat more domineering and "not fair playing" kind of scenario. Through talking more with them I came to know that they were just as discerning about finding their "one" as anyone else. What mattered most was inside, for sure, but that they were limiting their search to white women only. It was like a fantasy for them they could live in real life, much like some of bdsm is a fantasy for most of that we get to realize. Seeing it from a different, more detailed point of view, I could understand better and become aroused by it myself. Another little fantasy of mine discovered?

_____________________________

There is no such thing as can't unless it is followed by yet

It is the meaningless little acts that become meaningful in the doing.

The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

(in reply to LadyLynx)

Post #: 15

RE: RE:Interracial D/s relationships:How do we really f... - 10/9/2007 9:13:29 AM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

every relationship i am in has to be interracial because the only other person on the planet of my particular race is my little brother and eww...and even if we just went with my primary race...there aren't that many Sinhalese people in the bdsm community...any others on these boards? feel free to pipe up...paging all Sinhalese people...

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One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to littlebitxxx)

Post #: 16

RE: RE:Interracial D/s relationships:How do we really f... - 10/9/2007 9:22:19 AM

GhitaAmati

Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline

lol Chelle...

I think Im on the same page as LadyLynx...and unfortunantly it does often get us labeled as racist....its hard tell people that we prefer to date only caucasian men without seeming racist, while no one would bat an eye if I said I only like tall men or short men....I dunno...oh well...its a preference.....how do I feel about other people in interacial relationships? doesnt bother me if thats what you are asking? As long as they are happy. I would hope people werent dating someone just because they thought they looked good together.....

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I said I was a submissive, I never said I was a GOOD submissive.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
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(in reply to chellekitty)

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RE: RE:Interracial D/s relationships:How do we really f... - 10/9/2007 9:28:09 AM

CinnamonKajira

Posts: 2
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

decided not to write anything........

< Message edited by CinnamonKajira -- 10/9/2007 9:31:21 AM >

(in reply to SirEbonyPhoenix)

Post #: 18

RE: RE:Interracial D/s relationships:How do we really f... - 10/9/2007 9:51:42 AM

LadyLynx

Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline

Exactly! I also am more attracted blond haired guys then black haired. more blue then brown. In women I prefer brunnettes with green eyes. so go figure.

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to CinnamonKajira)

Post #: 19

RE: RE:Interracial D/s relationships:How do we really f... - 10/9/2007 9:54:39 AM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GhitaAmati

lol Chelle...

I think Im on the same page as LadyLynx...and unfortunantly it does often get us labeled as racist....its hard tell people that we prefer to date only caucasian men without seeming racist, while no one would bat an eye if I said I only like tall men or short men....I dunno...oh well...its a preference.....how do I feel about other people in interacial relationships? doesnt bother me if thats what you are asking? As long as they are happy. I would hope people werent dating someone just because they thought they looked good together.....

Geez..it would be a real shame to label someone a racist just for having a preference

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to GhitaAmati)

Post #: 20

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