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RE: Clueless about Protectors - 10/17/2007 9:31:16 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		wow grats on the marriage and kid
l

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RE: Clueless about Protectors - 10/17/2007 9:33:08 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
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From: St George Utah
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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

wow grats on the marriage and kid
l


DANKE

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RE: Clueless about Protectors - 10/17/2007 9:47:00 PM   
texancutie


Posts: 322
Joined: 7/23/2005
Status: offline 		Actually, I did have a friend that mentored me when I was a clueless newbie.  He wasn't my protector, and you know what?   He and his wife actually found a local Dominant for me to meet.  I wasn't having a ton of success myself.  Very odd story but it worked out.  They found his profile on another site, talked to him a bit, then sent him my name on this site.  He got in touch with me, I talked to him online and on the phone for a week or two, met him for coffee, and we hit it off.  We wound up spending a lot of time getting to know one another vanilla wise, and decided to take the next step evenutally.  Things turned out great!  He was exactly what he claimed to be and exactly what I was looking for.  We both think it is an odd thing that we were set up by strangers, and took a chance on a meet over coffee.  But we are not complaining!

The oddest thing was that I never even met the friend that mentored me, it was on the phone and in IM....but I needed someone to talk to at that confusing time.  I know stuff like this does not happen all the time either, and normally I would be very dubious of anyone that offered to do that for me.  But occasionally you do run into some nice and honest people.

Edited to add...omg...dye my hair blonde!  No offense to any blondes either.  I met him over lunch at a Japanese restaurant.....lol.  Then we moved to coffee meets and more dining out dates.  I saw him for coffee tonight and have coffee on the brain.


< Message edited by texancutie -- 10/17/2007 9:50:57 PM >

(in reply to RRafe)
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RE: Clueless about Protectors - 10/17/2007 10:05:03 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		The ONLY necessary or beneficial "lifestyles" protectors:

http://www.lifestyles.com/



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RE: Clueless about Protectors - 10/17/2007 10:07:01 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
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Status: offline 		DarkDaddy?  Her "protector" is protecting her from
the big bad wolf!


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RE: Clueless about Protectors - 10/17/2007 10:29:03 PM   
roughleather


Posts: 232
Joined: 11/11/2004
Status: offline 		I've met "protectors" like that. They're something like pimps, "managing" bondage models and such. 

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RE: Clueless about Protectors - 10/17/2007 11:03:46 PM   
HardnRuff


Posts: 213
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A protector is  One one who, when asked, will take the place of the Master at any function the Master cannot attend and will assume only those duties that the Master so prescribes. 

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RE: Clueless about Protectors - 10/17/2007 11:17:43 PM   
DarkDaddyZ


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

DarkDaddy?  Her "protector" is protecting her from
the big bad wolf!


Growl!  Or Howl!

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RE: Clueless about Protectors - 10/17/2007 11:18:58 PM   
DarkDaddyZ


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quote:

ORIGINAL: HardnRuff
A protector is  One one who, when asked, will take the place of the Master at any function the Master cannot attend and will assume only those duties that the Master so prescribes. 

What does that mean exactly?  In this case the person is on the East Coast and The Protetor is on the West.  Would you elaborate?

And to everyone else who has share thoughts THANK YOU!

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RE: Clueless about Protectors - 10/17/2007 11:28:40 PM   
HardnRuff


Posts: 213
Joined: 3/17/2007
Status: offline 		Sure .. If I owned a lil one and she was on the west coast right ? Say , for work or whatever , If I had a Friend or a contact there that I Knew and Trusted , I would send her to any event or social or Play party that I could  not attend as her Protector . In My Own experiences I Have Done that... That is Just what I am thinking, As far as an Online protector ? .. Not too sure how that works ..

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RE: Clueless about Protectors - 10/17/2007 11:42:44 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		FR

Wow, check out the nastiness in this thread!

Honestly, I can't see how calling someone their "Protector" is any more foolish or unrealistic or fantasy than calling someone their "Owner", "Master" or "Daddy" which goes down just fine here everyday... those are just as subjective and fantasy-land as deciding one has/needs a "Protector".

To the OP:  You admit that your response back to her was likely somewhat smart in tone, don't you think it's likely that her following shortness with you just might have been due to your unpleasantness?  Or did you apologize for any misunderstanding in tone and ask her to please explain her meaning with an open mind?  By the tone of your posts in this thread, it doesn't seem you'd have been courteous like that.

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RE: Clueless about Protectors - 10/17/2007 11:48:49 PM   
DarkDaddyZ


Posts: 805
Joined: 4/7/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable

FR

Wow, check out the nastiness in this thread!

Honestly, I can't see how calling someone their "Protector" is any more foolish or unrealistic or fantasy than calling someone their "Owner", "Master" or "Daddy" which goes down just fine here everyday... those are just as subjective and fantasy-land as deciding one has/needs a "Protector".

To the OP:  You admit that your response back to her was likely somewhat smart in tone, don't you think it's likely that her following shortness with you just might have been due to your unpleasantness?  Or did you apologize for any misunderstanding in tone and ask her to please explain her meaning with an open mind?  By the tone of your posts in this thread, it doesn't seem you'd have been courteous like that.

RumpusParable,

Your points are valid to a degree (to me), though I would think anyone using the terms Daddy, Master Mistress etc has build a relationship but I do admit I know those in the online word that use those words loosely (to me, perhaps not to them.)  I didn't apologize to the girl in question nor do I plan too but I can see how I "snickered" at the Protector thingie because it's been something that I never really "got" and perhaps it is a bit intolerant of me something I try not to be but in this instance it is what it is.  I appreciate you posting.

Z-

< Message edited by DarkDaddyZ -- 10/18/2007 12:03:19 AM >

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RE: Clueless about Protectors - 10/18/2007 12:00:39 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable

FR

Wow, check out the nastiness in this thread!

Honestly, I can't see how calling someone their "Protector" is any more foolish or unrealistic or fantasy than calling someone their "Owner", "Master" or "Daddy" which goes down just fine here everyday... those are just as subjective and fantasy-land as deciding one has/needs a "Protector".

.


Well yes, it's quite different, it's not the person they are looking to be with, it's a third interjected into the mix. 

I have never seen the party thing though because I don't do public events, that might make some sense I guess, but I would guess this would be with the Dom/me's approval and selection as well. 

(in reply to RumpusParable)
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RE: Clueless about Protectors - 10/18/2007 1:17:34 AM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		The ignorance displayed on this thread wreaks of wankers!  You have no idea how great protectors are!

Why, I have ten wards!  Without me, all sorts of bad things would happen to them!  They'd be cybrer-raped by those damn cyber rapists I have to spank every night on the chats, their computers would be hacked (but my greater hacking skills are unbeatable), and they'd catch a wide assortment of CTD's (Cyberly Transmitted Disease's).

So, look.  I understand that most wankers aren't tough enough to roll with me, for I am the PROTECTOR©®.

(in reply to DarkDaddyZ)
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RE: Clueless about Protectors - 10/18/2007 1:54:07 AM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		I will protect her until she decides I'm really what she is after.

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RE: Clueless about Protectors - 10/18/2007 2:16:53 AM   
xoxi


Posts: 1066
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Well yes, it's quite different, it's not the person they are looking to be with, it's a third interjected into the mix. 

I have never seen the party thing though because I don't do public events, that might make some sense I guess, but I would guess this would be with the Dom/me's approval and selection as well. 


Makes more sense to me than having one man as a husband and another as a 'master' - but quite a few people are happy like that too.

I've never had a protector because I'm a big girl and can take care of myself...and usually the types of men who volunteer to 'protect' me are trying to get in my pants anyway.  But you know...it would be kinda nice to have a bodyguard.  Like a big 6'2 guy, 230 lbs of solid muscle, to stand around with his arms folded like Mr. T. if someone tries to get in my pants.

Either that or one of those rape condoms.  I think it would be absolutely hilarious to use a rape condom on a scummy married guy trying to get in my pants.  But I am a very very bad person sometimes.

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RE: Clueless about Protectors - 10/18/2007 2:28:58 AM   
Jayxkes


Posts: 138
Joined: 7/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkDaddyZ

This afternoon a female who identifies as submissive initiated an e-mail to me saying that she likes my profile and posts via the boards.  As we exchanged a couple of e-mails she asked me if I knew her "protector" and mentioned him by name.  My reply was what is he protecting you from.  Her response back was she was surprised by my question since I have so much experience in the lifestyle.  I replied back and probably was a little smart with my comments including all my years in the lifestyle hasn't taught me about protection, I teach, learn, dominate and own.

She replied that I was clueless. 

So, am I clueless because I don't understand the protector label especially via online? Help me understand what a protector does in lifestyle relationships and is a protector only a dominant.

Lastly as I asked this person, what does a protector protect you from?

Thanks,
Z-


An alternative to being smart, bragging about all your years in the lifestyle and implying that you know all there is to know,  would have been to have treated her with respect,  accepted that she does something that you do not understand and discussed it.

Of course,  that would have ruined a good excuse to get the CM gang to pat you on the back and reinforce that anything they do not do should not be done; that anything they do not understand must only be for wannabes.

Asking her in a reasonable way what a protector does, would have provided you with the opinion of someone who knows,  rather than the small minded, intolerant comments better suited to a play ground.  It would also have indicated that you are willing to learn, (even from a girl!), and admit that you don't know everything.  Lots of people find that quite attractive, you know.

Just like everyone else, you can do what you enjoy without needing the gang's approval.  Really,  you can!  Other people also have that right and if they want to protect or be protected,  that's fine.

Although I have previously referred to the 'doms rulebook of laws',  it doesn't really exist.  Nor is there a book of how we must all do BDSM.   There is lots of good advice on offer and there are people willing to share their opinions on all sorts of topics,  but even the CM gang do make the rules that we must all follow!

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RE: Clueless about Protectors - 10/18/2007 2:43:52 AM   
Alumbrado


Posts: 5560
Status: offline 		'The CM gang'?  That would be who?  Anyone who doesn't follow the rule book in your head?

< Message edited by Alumbrado -- 10/18/2007 2:44:13 AM >

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RE: Clueless about Protectors - 10/18/2007 2:59:14 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		I have protectors, they are Native Indians.

His name is ShakesFist and if he isn't working then a guy is welcome to his lil brother L. Bow two chins and his cousin Nee inBalls. 

 g'head, make my day.

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RE: Clueless about Protectors - 10/18/2007 3:36:34 AM   
Decimus


Posts: 174
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		Ok I think I can clarify the issue for you Dark. She thought this was a MMO(Massive Multiplayer Online) forum for games. When she said protector she probably meant a warrior class for a group she was running, now when she read Dom she took the dominating meaning that you dealt alot of damage and would be good to have in a group. When you didn't know what protector was you obviously were clueless because you didn't know your role of dealing alot of damage to the monsters.

Ok now that my geek joke is over, I think honestly anyone who does that is either just looking for attention as others stated previously OR they are doing it to stop unwanted attention. Anyone can claim they are owned or collared or anything so as to avoid any attention other than what they bring to themselves.

On a more personal note, anyone who says that you are clueless for something you are ignorant to, just because you have not heard a term even if you may just know it as a different word isn't worth your time.

-My 2 cents, 4 cents on holidays!

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