quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkDaddyZ

I believe that I am guilty in something that I work hard not to do, act all elitist.  I believe she had good intentions in contacting me and I appreciated that, but when she named dropped (something I HATE or star fucking (dropping names of leather community leaders to make yourself look good-not that the person she mentioned is a leader or not, he may be, he may not) my whole attitude changed.  That is another topic for another day.

Bottom line is this, while references, friends, mentors, teachers etc are important to me a conversation about that happens as you get to know each other.  This person put that out there right away and based on my experience I automatically took that as "I'm supposed to take her seriously based on who here "protector" is."  My philosophies are different than others when it comes to that, I take you seriously until you prove to me otherwise.

I really want to thank all of you for your comments, opinions and insight in this thread, I've learned a lot.

Z-

quote:

ORIGINAL: everhope

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkDaddyZ

I believe that I am guilty in something that I work hard not to do, act all elitist.  I believe she had good intentions in contacting me and I appreciated that, but when she named dropped (something I HATE or star fucking (dropping names of leather community leaders to make yourself look good-not that the person she mentioned is a leader or not, he may be, he may not) my whole attitude changed.  That is another topic for another day.

Bottom line is this, while references, friends, mentors, teachers etc are important to me a conversation about that happens as you get to know each other.  This person put that out there right away and based on my experience I automatically took that as "I'm supposed to take her seriously based on who here "protector" is."  My philosophies are different than others when it comes to that, I take you seriously until you prove to me otherwise.

I really want to thank all of you for your comments, opinions and insight in this thread, I've learned a lot.

Z-

Z, when i read your intial thread posting, i got the feeling that your reaction to this girl was colored by some past experience. thank you for bringing to light in this post what that exactly was. i can actually understand now why you would have the reaction that you had. name dropping is offensive to me also. there is a point tho if you are in the same community that  those that you know in common may come up. i do not consider that name dropping. 

i had a "protector" when i first started out in all this. in fact, i had a  whole D/s family of protectors.  it  was helpful to me at the time. as time has gone along and i have gathered more and more experience the need for a protector is no longer something i need.

i think we need to make a big distinction between online and in the flesh interactions. numerous times i have been approached by men online asking me if they could protect me online. to this i say...i am quite competent at communicating on my own. a strictly online protector seems so internetish silly that feeds a fantasy ego.

there have been some good responses to this thread. myself , i try and keep open-minded enough to see the validity of others experiences.

always hoping we all find out bliss,
  everhope

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ORIGINAL: dcnovice

<hijack>

I keep thinking Protectors would make a good name for a brand of condoms.

</hijack>

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So there ya have it, condoms and a shovel wielding, wild eyed, woman from Iowa. What more protection could a person possibly need?

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ORIGINAL: DarkDaddyZ

So, am I clueless because I don't understand the protector label especially via online? Help me understand what a protector does in lifestyle relationships and is a protector only a dominant.

Lastly as I asked this person, what does a protector protect you from?

Thanks,
Z-

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkDaddyZ


So, am I clueless because I don't understand the protector label especially via online?

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists


Well.. two options....

1... a protector is like a Condom

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkDaddyZ
As we exchanged a couple of e-mails she asked me if I knew her "protector" and mentioned him by name. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

So there ya have it, condoms and a shovel wielding, wild eyed, woman from Iowa. What more protection could a person possibly need?

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ORIGINAL: Kalista07

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ORIGINAL: Discipline
I'm sure this has been said already but I'm going to say it anyway. The "protector", basically, is the guy she runs to when her mouth gets her into things her ass can't handle. It gives her a way to shirk responsibility for her words and/or actions.

 
i've sat here since i got home tonight, considering how to respond to some of these outright offensive accusations.  i'm sure i'm just being hypersensitive and all.......however, i'm offended by this statement. MrDiscipline, i think that Your narrow minded and short sided view of protector's gives everyone a bad name, a bad image, and frankly a bad rap.  i've never 'used' my protector to get me out of anything..... What i have used Him for, however, is a sounding board, a reality check, a mentor, a friend, a guide... Did He simply want to abuse me? No...Fuck me? Never...  hmmm...What possibly could His motives be then? Well, You'd have to ask Him, however i believe His motives were to help me, protect me, and allow me time to heal while i had some time to find myself, learn to trust myself, and forgive myself for allowing such horrible and unspeakable things to happen to me...
Michael,
i understand where You are coming from, really i do... .However, i guess the difference here is that i knew my judgment of this man was sound because i had watched Him for about two years on this site as well as others. i talked to Him, and frankly i talked to others about Him.
While i could sit here and beat myself up for the rape and everything else and my lack of good judgment, i must also tell You that this man is a sociopath....He did what sociopaths do....He convinced me he was trustworthy and a bunch of other crap when in reality he wasn't....
 
The fact of the matter is that despite the fact that my Guardian is no longer officially my guardian, i continue to use Him in that capacity. Recently there was something i was struggling to figure out how to tell my new Sir (due to fear because of bad past experiences), and so i copied and pasted the email i was going to send Him.. After my Guardian approved it, i sent it, everything went well...
 
Could just be me, but it gets a little old being judged, condemned, and criticized around here. 
Kali

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07
The fact of the matter is that despite the fact that my Guardian is no longer officially my guardian, i continue to use Him in that capacity. Recently there was something i was struggling to figure out how to tell my new Sir (due to fear because of bad past experiences), and so i copied and pasted the email i was going to send Him.. After my Guardian approved it, i sent it, everything went well...

quote:

Could just be me, but it gets a little old being judged, condemned, and criticized around here. 
Kali

quote:

Michael,
i understand where You are coming from, really i do... .However, i guess the difference here is that i knew my judgment of this man was sound because i had watched Him for about two years on this site as well as others. i talked to Him, and frankly i talked to others about Him.

quote:

LordMasterKingCockmonster