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Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/21/2007 7:29:21 AM

LATEXBABY64

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Trust: What is trust in the lifestyle. Do you trust everyone you meet the first time. do you go off of gut feelings. what things do you use to qualify a new sub. dom, domme. How far would you go in your trust with the other.

I have heard of people playing on first meeting. Some say they been talking online for years or months. Others play at a munch or even at events for the first time with out really knowing that person trusting others opionions of that person. but do we really ever know them?

Post #: 1

RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/21/2007 7:40:25 AM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64
Some say they been talking online for years or months. Others play at a munch or even at events for the first time with out really knowing that person trusting others opionions of that person. but do we really ever know them?

I must be out of my mind by your opinion. But my opinion is playing with a near-stranger at an event is a calculated risk that I'm willing to take. Frankly, I think it's far less dangerous than skydiving. In a group of people, some of who I know, where the scene is being watched, there odds are low that they will be able to kill me before someone could interfer. The odds are also pretty low that they would want to kill me in the first place. Usually, Valyraen or some other trusted friend is there to further ensure safety.

Is there a risk? Yes. But there is also a risk stepping out your front door, going on a mountain hike, running errands, driving your car and sitting in the classroom. You calculate risk and if you feel it is worth it, you take the risk. While I would not allow someone I don't know well to bind me in my home alone, I find BDSM events to be extremely safe enviroments.

Edited for typo

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 10/21/2007 7:48:30 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 2

RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/21/2007 7:46:13 AM

slaveluci

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Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
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And here's a thought: some people get off on engaging in potentially dangerous or risky behavior. As Aquatic mentioned, people do all kinds of such things voluntarily everyday that don't involve sex/BDSM (i.e - skydiving, car racing, etc). If they aren't "out of their freaking minds," why am I if I would choose to meet a stranger for sex, bondange or whathaveyou?

I don't want to hijack the thread and I remember what a shredding Aileen took for saying a one-night stand can be fun and exciting but.....I happen to think risk-taking is exciting. People talk about edge play. What's more "edgy" than meeting a stranger or near-stranger and taking your chances?

And before I get the obligatory "serial killer" talk, I know all the dangers. I still think there's much excitement to the idea...................luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 3

RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/21/2007 8:06:52 AM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

Trust: What is trust in the lifestyle. Do you trust everyone you meet the first time. do you go off of gut feelings. what things do you use to qualify a new sub. dom, domme. How far would you go in your trust with the other.

I have heard of people playing on first meeting. Some say they been talking online for years or months. Others play at a munch or even at events for the first time with out really knowing that person trusting others opionions of that person. but do we really ever know them?

i don't think we ever really know anyone, including those that we've known for years, in or out of the lifestyle; so i go by gut instincts and it hasn't proven me wrong yet, so i guess that makes me crazy if i choose to play with people on a first meet, and i'm okay with that, so why aren't you?

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 4

RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/21/2007 8:09:14 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

Jack the Ripper,
Son of Sam
Charlie Manson
Ed Gein
The Zodiac Killer
Aileen Wuornos

You get my jist.

Considering the population burst, access to computers for anon. useage, surely the chances are high that you might meet a loser, yet chances that he/she is a serial killer, relatively low in statistics compared to an off the street crime.

I've done some badass, crazy and life threatening things in my life so maybe that gave me a 6th sense to sniff out the really creepy. My total internet time: 12+ years, actual meets: approx. 53ish, losers: 50, serial killers: 0

Probability of death or maiming? 100%, except if given the chance to see it coming, his first strike would be his last.

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 5

RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/21/2007 8:11:38 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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Santayana;
Singman Rhee;
Find out what that means to me;
We didn't start the fire.....

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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Post #: 6

RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/21/2007 8:12:53 AM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

What is the alternative? Living life huddled in our homes for fear we will be harmed or murdered if we meet strangers? Everyones a stranger till you get to know them.

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to came4U)

Post #: 7

RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/21/2007 8:19:03 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
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forget that, I'm just f*cking strange.

(in reply to velvetears)

Post #: 8

RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/21/2007 8:21:05 AM

Rushemery

Posts: 310
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline

Trust has to be earned both ways, you can give trust online to a certain point but I dont feel a person can really be trusted until you meet them and get to know them in person, if peple trusted each other they wouldnt use screen names, women have to be more careful than men I feel, lots of wackos out there like that fake cop post I read earlier. How far would I go to trust someone well hopfully all the way otherwise the relationship wouldnt work long term, as far as really ever knowing someone, people change over time, you can know someone really well I feel but they change, you change so do we really know anyone sometimes yes if you have been together forever, trusting a group of people well, I have many friends or people who know me or know of me, sure to a point, you have to trust to certain points, I would much rather only trust 1 person than a group, I know Im going to get ripped for this lol but Im a people watcher and i see most people as trecherous, out for themselves in one way or another and you have to be extreamy carful about who you let in, you may meet 1 or 2 good friends threwout your life and I feel your lucky, Im not talking about people you have sex with i mean people you trust your life with, I find people tend to be deluded with the fact of friends or friendship, everyone is their friend but over watching the same people for much of my life I see this not to be true, a perfect example, 2 brothers were friends of mine we hung out in a group of 6 - 10 people well most of us no longer hang out but do see each other now and again, these 2 brothers one got married and the other ended up sleeping with the ones wife they were brothers friends very very tight but no longer, should there have been trust? good question, Ive never hung out with one group for long before I found another so I basicly bounced between older younger and my age people threw out my entire life I have bounced between these groups for years and have seen the same things in each group, no one is tight with any one person more than a few years before they go their own ways, I still socialize with all of them but dont stay with any one group because they become bogged down doing the same exact things every week. I too get that way but I at least have the option of finding something different to do when I want to, I think I lost track, no people change so we dont ever really know them

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 9

RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/21/2007 8:24:00 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

I think its about your gut feeling yeah, course there is a risk and there is a risk of being hit by a bus when you cross the road.

(in reply to came4U)

Post #: 10

RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/21/2007 8:24:33 AM

onegoodgirl

Posts: 126
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

Trust: What is trust in the lifestyle. Do you trust everyone you meet the first time. do you go off of gut feelings. what things do you use to qualify a new sub. dom, domme. How far would you go in your trust with the other.

I have heard of people playing on first meeting. Some say they been talking online for years or months. Others play at a munch or even at events for the first time with out really knowing that person trusting others opionions of that person. but do we really ever know them?

I generally stick to a no-play-on-the-first-meet policy.. but... if the desire is there and my instincts say "Go!"... I'm throwing the guidelines out the window. I've rarely (obviously never terminally) been wrong about the people I choose to keep in intimate company and have been meeting others from the internet long enough to consider it a successful track record.

Why do I get this image of you as someone who hunkers down in a cabin in the woods with a cache of weapons and MREs. If anybody scares me.. it's somebody who constantly judges others over actions that aren't their personal concern. (Read: Fanatic)

_____________________________

"This aint a scene.. it's a god-damned arms race!" - Fall Out Boy

http://www.myspace.com/bellaemiliana

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 11

RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/21/2007 8:28:36 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I am completely out of my mind.
I traveled to a state I had never visited to spend a weekend with Angel after having talked to him on the phone for a few weeks.
I met Truitt for lunch after having talked to him for a few days. I have met many people, for lunch or to walk around the parks out here and chat, just since I have been here. I have others who plan on visiting.
Hell, DominaSmartass crashed in my living room on my couch when she passed through.
Its not all about trusting the individual with your life... its about trusting someoneenough one time to meet somewhere safe, and seeing how it goes. But it is not something I am willing to give up, I have met too many wonderful people from my random "hey, I feel like going out, wanna come" meetings.
Fox is one of them. I wanted to take pictures, he came to take them with me, now he is mine.

Wouldnt change any of it.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to came4U)

Post #: 12

RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/21/2007 8:29:34 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

mmmm MREs

sometimes it nice to just boil sum up and feed em to the um's and tell them you have been hovering over a hot stove all day.

Kinda ruins it though when they say mmmm, mom this is better than usual.

lol

(in reply to onegoodgirl)

Post #: 13

RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/21/2007 8:42:43 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

No just been around the block a few times and see things you just shake your head at. Then watch friends repeat it over and over again lol. But thats on them. But you do not stop being a friend because they just do not get something in life. Mre rule i remeber sea rats lol got to love those.

but everything goes with personal responsiblity. So if you trust someone to do the right thing and someone does the wrong thing whos to blame.

(in reply to onegoodgirl)

Post #: 14

RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/21/2007 8:43:29 AM

beargonewild

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Some I do trust the first time I meet them and others I do not. Trust is also having a well developed intuition and that is what I rely on heavily when meeting a person for the first time. This will determine if I either play with them at the first meeting or I wait.
Granted this is risky yet what is important is I am aware of the risk I willingly take responsibility for my action alone.
It's that gut feeling which is used to assess the person's character that's more important, irregardless of their role of sub/slave/Dom/Domme.

_____________________________

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Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

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(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 15

RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/21/2007 8:44:18 AM

bipolarber

Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline

Playing with an attractive near stranger at an event, surrounded by other people and the occasional Dungeon Monitor, seems far less dangerous to me than the first time I was skiing on a double black diamond run... I knew there was a saftey net around me with others to stop the action if things seemd to be getting out of hand, or if I seemed in distress. No so with the mountain. There it was, "get down one way or another." And come to think of it, I did get down off that run with more cuts and bruises than I've ever gotten in a scene.

Now, going home with someone I don't know... that would be a different story. It would have to be someone I'd been talking to for a long while, and I'd have to insist on little more than "symbolic" bondage the first time out.

(in reply to came4U)

Post #: 16

RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/21/2007 9:11:28 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

Trust: What is trust in the lifestyle. Do you trust everyone you meet the first time. do you go off of gut feelings. what things do you use to qualify a new sub. dom, domme. How far would you go in your trust with the other.

I have heard of people playing on first meeting. Some say they been talking online for years or months. Others play at a munch or even at events for the first time with out really knowing that person trusting others opionions of that person. but do we really ever know them?

I go with my own instincts. If it feels right to ME, I go with it. If it feels wrong, I back off. I don't need to have 'strong, undying' trust in a partner to either play with them or have sex with them. As long as I feel ok about it, that's what matters.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 17

RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/21/2007 9:24:07 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

Count me in the "out of your mind" category. Odd that no one seems to bat an eye at the gazillions of folks who meet someone in a bar and go home with them, but egads, "playing" on a first meet?

I met my Master online in June, over 3 years ago. We talked several times a day, every day, until we met in person two months later. Everything in my gut said I could trust him, but since I didn't trust my own instincts very well back then, I Googled him from the start and confirmed everything I needed to know. Plus I was able to share all his personal info, including his photo, prior to my venturing off to meet him.

As for how far it was going to go...as far as he chose it to.

I am safer with him than I was with my husband of nearly 20 years.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 18

RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/21/2007 9:25:10 AM

SmokingGun82

Posts: 575
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline

Considering the vast majority of my sexual partners, either vanilla or non, have been one night stands with random bar people... it's safe to say I'm out of my damned mind by your definition. That means I'll sleep a lot easier tonight, because Latex, there's no way I'd want you to consider me "normal."

_____________________________

It frightens me, the awful truth of how sweet life can be.
- Bob Dylan

Proper capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my Uncle Jack off a horse" and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse."

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 19

RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/21/2007 9:29:12 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

if your on collar me but what is norm we are all abby normal . you can not find sanity in the insaine. Nor will the what seems to be ok may not be. Hidden with in is always a dark horse or a dark heart. it is how the twisted work.lol

< Message edited by LATEXBABY64 -- 10/21/2007 9:31:31 AM >

(in reply to SmokingGun82)

Post #: 20

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