Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/21/2007 10:20:45 PM   
PassionateTulip


Posts: 40
Joined: 5/15/2007
Status: offline 		It really depends on the people involved. There are literally people out there who feel starstruck in love because they have the same favourite colour. To me that is quite silly. Everyone has the potential to act friendly and alluring, and many have ill intent in doing so. However, some people do happen to have the privilege of experiencing love at first site, or friendship and trust. Some people just "know" while others are just delusional. A way to test it? Who knows! Some people are even both.... and in odd ways that has the chance of working out even better.

The day I met my slave, on this website in fact, we met in person. We spoke on the phone from about 2am, until mid-morning and we hopped on buses from across the city and since that day, aside from work, we have spent probably no more than two days apart. We felt crazy, but the whole situation felt right to us. We played... we explored, we grew closer together. - He apparently spoke with friends before meeting me, asking if they knew anything about me... they never heard of me, I looked him up quickly and found little, but we both decided to give it a shot anyway (and neither of us discussed looking each other up until later on)... we met in a public place (one of the busiest bus stops in the city we were in) and well... we clung like mad.... and are living out our happily ever after....

PT

< Message edited by PassionateTulip -- 10/21/2007 10:22:10 PM >

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/21/2007 10:47:22 PM   
EvilGeoff


Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline 		I'll play at BDSM events with relative (or total) strangers after some negotiation and conversation.  I have DM's, friends, and/or leather family as witnesses or help if needed.

_I_ have reputation to maintain within our local BDSM community as a responsible Top, a good player, a teacher, an experienced Dom, etc.  I'm also a play slut.  I want witnesses around so if an accusation is ever made, I don't have to say a word, others will speak up and say "Hey!  That is NOT the way it went down."  *grins and shrugs* 

I also host play parties in my home.  Again, it's nice having witnesses to keep everyone honest about what's going on and what's been said.  I invite people to my home if I feel I can trust _them_, and if they are comfortable with the invite they accept, if not, they decline, no hard feelings, no pressure, no problem. And maybe they will feel comfortable next time.  *shrugs*  No biggy, either way.  If I don't feel like I can trust them (or if janey gets a bad "feeling" about someone), they don't get invited to my home for one of our parties.  It's that simple.

Do I advocate safe meeting practices?  Absolutely.  I also advocate personal responsibility, and adults being able to make adult choices for themselves.  If that means someone makes choices that are riskier than choices I would make, that's okay.  I won't jump out of a perfectly good working airplane to float to the ground under a parachute.  Others do it for fun.  I used to free climb rock faces... at 46 I find that pastime far riskier than I did at 21.  Note that I say I _USED_ to free climb!  *LOL*

We all may choose the level of risk we are comfortable with, and then pursue a course of action based on that level of acceptable risk.  What's comfortable for me may be terrifying for someone else.  Does that make it wrong for me?  I don't think so...

YIK,
- Geoff

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/21/2007 11:00:25 PM   
FullfigRIMaam


Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears
What is the alternative? Living life huddled in our homes for fear we will be harmed or murdered if we meet strangers? Everyones a stranger till you get to know them.
Some people really do live like that.  I see it when I encounter uhms who are afraid of anyone not their parents, very strange to me indeed.   Can it be that people are teaching lil ones to be afraid instead of responding to their instincts and using good judgement?    M

_____________________________

"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." Erich Fromm

(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/21/2007 11:32:08 PM   
PassionateTulip


Posts: 40
Joined: 5/15/2007
Status: offline 		One girl I was friends with growing up believed it was a sin to even date someone of a different age than her (specific age, not just in age range... for example if she is 22 she will only date a 22 year old)... apparently because her parents were the same age and were born only 4 or 5 days apart and if that is how God wanted her parents that is how God wanted her and everyone else to be. She threw quite a fit when I told her my boyfriend was a few years older than me (only a few!)... I would never dare tell her about this! But yes... some people create shells, and hibernate in them for all their lives.

PT
quote:

ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMaam
Some people really do live like that.  I see it when I encounter uhms who are afraid of anyone not their parents, very strange to me indeed.   Can it be that people are teaching lil ones to be afraid instead of responding to their instincts and using good judgement?    M

(in reply to FullfigRIMaam)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/22/2007 12:51:35 AM   
ELUSIVE1


Posts: 536
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff

I'll play at BDSM events with relative (or total) strangers after some negotiation and conversation.  I have DM's, friends, and/or leather family as witnesses or help if needed.

_I_ have reputation to maintain within our local BDSM community as a responsible Top, a good player, a teacher, an experienced Dom, etc.  I'm also a play slut.  I want witnesses around so if an accusation is ever made, I don't have to say a word, others will speak up and say "Hey!  That is NOT the way it went down."  *grins and shrugs* 

I also host play parties in my home.  Again, it's nice having witnesses to keep everyone honest about what's going on and what's been said.  I invite people to my home if I feel I can trust _them_, and if they are comfortable with the invite they accept, if not, they decline, no hard feelings, no pressure, no problem. And maybe they will feel comfortable next time.  *shrugs*  No biggy, either way.  If I don't feel like I can trust them (or if janey gets a bad "feeling" about someone), they don't get invited to my home for one of our parties.  It's that simple.

Do I advocate safe meeting practices?  Absolutely.  I also advocate personal responsibility, and adults being able to make adult choices for themselves.  If that means someone makes choices that are riskier than choices I would make, that's okay.  I won't jump out of a perfectly good working airplane to float to the ground under a parachute.  Others do it for fun.  I used to free climb rock faces... at 46 I find that pastime far riskier than I did at 21.  Note that I say I _USED_ to free climb!  *LOL*

We all may choose the level of risk we are comfortable with, and then pursue a course of action based on that level of acceptable risk.  What's comfortable for me may be terrifying for someone else.  Does that make it wrong for me?  I don't think so...

YIK,
- Geoff

Thankyou...I was going to point out that 'socials' have dungeon Masters, and the community watching that gives the opportunity to play safely...beyond that, I have only been meeting 'friends of friends'...it has worked out well for me thus far


_____________________________

"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality"

*Poe
http://alt.com/blog/ELUSIVE1NC
http://users.adultspace.com/ELUSIVE1NC/


(in reply to EvilGeoff)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/22/2007 1:13:00 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat

<raising hand>
 
yep, outta my freaking mind.
 
Some of the best scenes I have ever done were followed by aftercare that began: "are you here by yourself? -and what is your name, by the way?"...
 
Which I do not condone, but well, there I am...


:))
my answers to those questiond after that scene:
where?
and
you decide.

and yes definitely out my my freakin tree after a scene


(in reply to topcat)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/22/2007 2:07:18 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff

Do I advocate safe meeting practices?  Absolutely.  I also advocate personal responsibility, and adults being able to make adult choices for themselves.  If that means someone makes choices that are riskier than choices I would make, that's okay.  I won't jump out of a perfectly good working airplane to float to the ground under a parachute.  Others do it for fun. 
We all may choose the level of risk we are comfortable with, and then pursue a course of action based on that level of acceptable risk.  What's comfortable for me may be terrifying for someone else.  Does that make it wrong for me?  I don't think so...


Life worth living is a series of acceptable risks that begins when we decide the risk of falling is acceptable to the process of learning to walk. 


_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to EvilGeoff)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/22/2007 2:59:53 AM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		So think of the most extreme example any of us is likely to have meeting a "stranger." It is probably a chatroom meeting followed quickly by a real time one. Even that is not meeting a total stranger. You have to think some in the chatroom know the other person from online at least. I don't know about the rest of you, but when I used to play lots, I'd get a pretty good feel from chatting with someone and following that with phone conversations. It is a good psychological move for a Dom not to play on the first meeting, but I usually did. It just worked out that way...ha.

The funniest time for me is that I once met a woman who kept her handbag with a pistol in it closeby, even in bed. I'm not sure how the pistol would have helped her during play, but she had never met anyone from online and had heard all the bad stories. After about 30 minutes she put the handbag away and we played happily for a few years sans pistol.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to eyesopened)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/22/2007 3:44:02 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		I would not play with a complete stranger unless Sir requested it. I trust Sir 100% so therefore i would trust His judgement of strangers.
If i was at a party alone and free to play, no i would not play with a stranger, i don't have enough trust in others for that.
For me it takes time for trust to grow.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/22/2007 2:28:03 PM   
bostontwo


Posts: 43
Status: offline 		If it were a new acquaintance met online, I'd want at least one meeting in a very public place, no matter how long we've been talking on the internet. And at one person I trust would know where I was, a rough time frame of how long the meeting would last, and be ready to provide an emergency escape for me. If it were a public playspace, I'd want a recommendation from someone I've played with before, or a couple from someone they've played with before that seem trustworthy.

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/22/2007 2:46:50 PM   
Squeakers


Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

Trust:   What is trust in the lifestyle. Do you trust everyone you meet the first time. do you go off of gut feelings. what things do you use to qualify a new sub. dom, domme.  How far would you go in your trust with the other.

I have heard of people playing on first meeting. Some say they been talking online for years or months. Others play at a munch or even at events for the first time with out really knowing that person trusting others opionions of that person. but do we really ever know them?

For me it depends---I work mostly by gut instinct.    I've waited to play, I've played on a first meet---I've talked for a couple hours before a meet and I have talked years before a meet.   
     Do we ever really know a person?   Sometimes.   Sometimes not---You WILL find cases of people who do not know their SO even after years and years.    Sometimes people are just not upfront about some things and hide it well, like the traveling salesman who has two different families in two different states, the pedophile who has yet to be caught, the person who has a past and simply is not comfortable speaking about it to anyone and has not come to terms with it, the parents who adopted a um and chose not to tell the um, or the parent who gave up a um and decided to never tell----it happens.    Trust is a gamble---you can give it unconditionally, you can request that trust be earned or you can never give it.    Unless you never give it---there is a chance that you might have to withdraw the trust.   
    Like I said I go by my gut feeling---and the level of trust I give depends on the person.    Yep, I am out of my freaking mind most of the time.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/22/2007 2:56:27 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		I'm old enough to remember meeting someone at a party, going home with him that night to do the nasty. Never knew more than his first name, nor he mine. For all he knew I might have waited for him to fall asleep and then robbed him blind!

Of course this was back in the days when std's were curable with antibiotics. The risk today takes a lot of the fun out of it.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/22/2007 3:28:43 PM   
MissSCD


Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline 		Latex:

I don't consider us twisted.   Maybe you are the one who is afraid of what you are within?
Ever think of that my friend?

Regards MissSCD

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/22/2007 4:04:19 PM   
MistresssAria


Posts: 165
Joined: 6/17/2007
Status: offline 		I talk to potential subs online, then on the phone, then we meet in a public place.....and I have had sessions directly after that, although it is always implied that there will be no session that day.  I go very much on the vibes I get from the person, their eye contact with me, demeanor.....I'll throw in some things during conversation that a sub should know about and see if they can make a correct answer. 
I do NOT trust everyone I meet the first time - if someone is too overbearing, I won't session with them.  However, when I do have sessions, I have my own male security (I never hear about anyone else doing this........).  I do more than this as well.  Luckily I have never had any problems in the first place.
I put more trust into long-term subs.
What I find odd is the amount of trust subs put into me.  I have only ever once had a sub request that I not put him in any sort of bondage on a first-time session.


(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind - 10/22/2007 6:37:33 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissSCD

Latex:

I don't consider us twisted.   Maybe you are the one who is afraid of what you are within?
Ever think of that my friend?

Regards MissSCD



the one thing for sure I never repeat history I learn from it. I pay attention when the lessons of life say this is a bad idea. I have learned and still learn a lifetime of lessons. Biggest one i forget is some people have to learn in their own way. So be it. But like anything it is the cost factor that sucks

(in reply to MissSCD)
Profile   Post #: 55
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Are you out of your freaking Mind Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094