Celeste43
Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mydestiny2043
"no limits" masochist or slave wants to prove something to themselves and to their Master"they want to prove that they can "walk through the fire" ... that they can endure anything, to prove it to themselves.. and prove it to their master how committed they are"and I guess this is where he thinks I'm being a bit hard headed because in my mind(and I in no way profess to being a slave of any kind and don't pretend to know how one thinks)why would they have to prove anything?And if that's the case and they do,Is it like some type of unwritten rule that such a master expects?
Your friend doesn't know every self proclaimed master, dominant, and toppy type on the planet so to announce he knows what they all expect is ridiculous. Same for us bottomy types.
Yes some dominants get off on pushing limits, and of those there's a subset that will drop one sub when she's out of limits she can safely have pushed to find a new one. But to say that because there are some who get off on this means every dominant under the sun throws their sub over for a new one every New Year is patently ridiculous.
Additionally not all bottom types/submissives/slaves are masochists. Some of us are quite frankly wusses when it comes to pain, and have no shame in admitting it. (Stands up to be counted). So he's wrong on that count also.
After four years there really aren't very many areas that The Man is interested where he can't go. There are a couple of activities that set off panic attacks, and a couple that set off my vertigo. We adjust things to leave out those few and go on. But he doesn't sit around and brood on the fact that duct tape gags cause panic attacks in me, he just uses cloth or ball gags - no big deal. Same thing when we've discussed inverted suspension, if he sets off my vertigo he has to handle everything for the next several days until it settles down; cooking, cleaning, driving ums etc. He wants to do an upright suspension or with me parallel to the ground, he can go for it. But he doesn't care that he can't go beyond that.
He has limits too, he isn't into bloodplay - needles or cuttings - and he doesn't sit around brooding that he can't push himself past those limits either. He's got better things to do. And more fun stuff also.
But the stuff we do now that we didn't do then isn't because he went about pushing my limits. That always makes me think of a petulant kid threatening to take their bat and ball and go home if things don't go their way. We just worked on making a strong and trustworthy relationship, discussing things either of us wanted to try, learning about it at whatever speed the individual goes at, and trying it when we both felt ready. He must have tied me to a pole over half a dozen times with long stretches between before we discovered that if my head is tied I get panicky and I don't if it isn't. Don't know why it works like that but it does.
All you really need to know though, is if you aren't interested in having your limits pushed, then this guy isn't compatible with you. But the next one may not be focused on only doing what he isn't allowed to and with that one you may be compatible. Assuming he doesn't sleep with the windows open and you want them closed, or he wants you to play golf and you dislike it intensely. All kinds of things come into compatibility.
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RE: No Limits slavery - 
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,it was the only comparrison I could come up with at the time to get my point across.So shoot me for being a tad dramatic LOL my bad.
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