Should a Sub have to give up her loves?

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Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 10/31/2007 10:02:26 PM

Mellissande

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If Collared, This sub has Animals. And would like to know what Other Doms think about whether she should give up the Animals she loves for the Master She loves to serve?

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RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 10/31/2007 10:05:11 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Wouldn't that be a question for the sub to ask the dom BEFORE they make a commitment?

Some doms don't want pets, some do. Some doms don't want kids, some do.

You can either decide that having particular pets in a particular way is necessary for your fulfillment and find a compatible dom, or decide that it doesn't really matter and isn't an issue on the compatibility issue.

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RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 10/31/2007 10:07:19 PM

Mellissande

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I just want to understand what the general Consensus is on this issue. Thank you LA

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RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 10/31/2007 10:08:37 PM

hazenut

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I know personally I would never be able to part with my two cats. I would make that clear from the start with any dominant.
I feel the same way with my love for music. I couldn't give that up for anyone.
If you don't feel that you couldn't go on without them and they are not willing to let you keep them, they might not be the person for you.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 10/31/2007 10:09:40 PM

softpjOS

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Just as in any other relationship, it's entirely dependant on the two (or more) people involved. If you have a cat and find a Dom that has allergies or can't stand them... you have a decision to make.

Personally, I wouldn't consider a relationship with anyone that would expect me to give up anything I love or hold dear.. including my fat cat.

(in reply to Mellissande)

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RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 10/31/2007 10:10:01 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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General consensus is that it's like everything else- whether frogs legs or blood or sex with strangers or cotton candy- what do you NEED to be true to yourself and be fulfilled? What do you WANT? Who is compatible for that?

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RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 10/31/2007 10:14:11 PM

Mellissande

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You see I don't just have a cat, I have a cat, a male pit bull and a female bull terrier, and two ferrets... I absolutely love my Animals, But I do not want to end up alone because of them either...

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RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 10/31/2007 10:20:12 PM

mya75

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Well....I would definately not hook up with someone who was going to ask me to get rid of my pets...unless I had a very very long relationship with them...and thought they were worth it ..so many people jump the gun in relationships.....there are other factors to consider allergies,home environment,compatibility with the pets, etc etc.... Im not sure your pit bulls are gonna like to see ya being spanked...woof woof...

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RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 10/31/2007 10:21:12 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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So the choice is "Do I let myself become so desparate to be in a relationship that I give up my standards and needs to have a fulfilling life with someone who is willing to allow me to sacrifice what I need to be fulfilled in myself, or do I hold firm to my own needs in myself and find a secure stable mature person who is very compatible with who I am?"

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RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 10/31/2007 10:22:37 PM

Mellissande

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About the dogs and spanking, My girl dog tried to join in the one time she was left out of her kennel... kind of ruined the mood but I thought it was cute! (we didn't make that mistake again though)

(in reply to mya75)

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RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 10/31/2007 10:29:24 PM

Mellissande

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Thank you all for your input, You've helped me out.

(in reply to Mellissande)

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RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 10/31/2007 10:30:19 PM

MasterFireMaam

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No one can answer this for you. If you cannot live without them, then no. If they are 'nice, but not that important,' then certainly you can give them up. I can't see me ever giving up my cats in order to have a relationship with someone...unless that person was my perfect soul-mate of existance. And since I pretty much think that person died, I don't see me givin' them up. Even the grouchy one who hisses at everyone including me.

Master Fire

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RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 10/31/2007 11:41:38 PM

proudsub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mellissande

If Collared, This sub has Animals. And would like to know what Other Doms think about whether she should give up the Animals she loves for the Master She loves to serve?

Hubby hates cats so it is my job to care for them and to keep them out of his way. He does understand we need them to keep the mice population down.

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RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 11/1/2007 2:10:44 AM

eyesopened

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Oh, i don't think anyone has ended up alone because they have animals they love, they just end up with someone (even a Master) who loves animals too.

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RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 11/1/2007 3:01:07 AM

PryderiLoup

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mellissande

You see I don't just have a cat, I have a cat, a male pit bull and a female bull terrier, and two ferrets... I absolutely love my Animals, But I do not want to end up alone because of them either...

I think you are looking at this from the wrong point of view... You are an animal lover. Instead of thinking about giving them up, find a partner that also loves animals.

Chances are, if you find an animal lover, your relationship will be stronger because of a common interest.

(in reply to Mellissande)

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RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 11/1/2007 5:48:04 AM

Rover

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A submissive should do whatever they have consensually agreed upon.

John

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RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 11/1/2007 6:55:46 AM

Dnomyar

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Lots of things to take into consideration. Does where he lives allow pit bulls. Will he move in with you.

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RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 11/1/2007 7:04:51 AM

Celeste43

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I wouldn't have given up my offspring for him or my dog. In fact one of the things which made me come to trust him early on was my dog's immediate acceptance of him, and she didn't normally roll over to have her belly scratched by strangers. She knew instinctively that he was trustworthy.

Asking me to give up my loved ones, human and otherwise is unacceptable. It's possible his daughter's cat will need a new home when she goes off to college. I'm allergic so I'll have to make the proviso that the cat doesn't come into the bedroom, but otherwise of course it's welcome.

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RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 11/1/2007 7:33:05 AM

OsideGirl

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Well, I agree with LA:

1) All this should be discussed long before you accept a Dominant. Along with what happens in the case of pregnancy, STD tests, religion, politics, goals, etc.

2) Why do you think a submissive should give up her standards to be with a Dominant?

3) With the low success rate of these relationships, why give up something permanent (your animals) for something that may not last?

4) If the relationship does last, are you prepared to live without animals for the rest of your life?

Personally, I couldn't face a life without animals. They add something wonderful and sweet to my life.

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RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 11/1/2007 8:17:30 AM

toservez

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quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

Oh, i don't think anyone has ended up alone because they have animals they love, they just end up with someone (even a Master) who loves animals too.

I agree with this and what LA said. It is a compatibility issues that a person should think about before being faced with a decision like that in a first place. There are pet people who cannot imagine living without them, there are people who have pets but not big into them and people who do not want/hate pets period.

If you cannot imagine living without pets then forsaken them just to be in a relationship will probably bite you in the long run. The OP and others in this situation need to decide as LA points out are you chasing any relationship or the right one for you.

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