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dress code for subs - 8/3/2005 12:59:54 PM

sparrow69

Posts: 10
Joined: 7/20/2005
Status: offline

I bet this has been asked before, but here go's.....what do the Mistress's like their subs/slaves to wear when they meet them..i was in a long distance arrangement and got the worst thrashing for not wearing any under-garments...
She said it was for not using my imagination and no thought.
Is this a common thought with you Mistress's

Post #: 1

RE: dress code for subs - 8/3/2005 2:50:00 PM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

sparrow, I would think that by this point in life you would have already been able to access that you will not please two women the same way.

Every female dominant is different. We all enjoy different forms of attire. Where you meet & what your plans are will also determine what should or should not be worn.

As to your thrashing... no way to comment on that. No one reading this was part of that conversation. No one reading this was around to hear any suggestions or hints or requests she may have made.

When all else fails... ASK!

"What would you like me to wear?"

Simple

MstrssPassion

(in reply to sparrow69)

Post #: 2

RE: dress code for subs - 6/12/2009 7:18:39 AM

andreasubmissive

Posts: 8
Joined: 1/14/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

sparrow, I would think that by this point in life you would have already been able to access that you will not please two women the same way.

Every female dominant is different. We all enjoy different forms of attire. Where you meet & what your plans are will also determine what should or should not be worn.

As to your thrashing... no way to comment on that. No one reading this was part of that conversation. No one reading this was around to hear any suggestions or hints or requests she may have made.

When all else fails... ASK!

"What would you like me to wear?"

Simple

MstrssPassion

i agree, i prefer to look at my best for a Dom/me, to look pretty and desirable yet respectable

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 3

RE: dress code for subs - 6/12/2009 7:22:25 AM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
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What andrea said.

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Post #: 4

RE: dress code for subs - 6/12/2009 7:23:38 AM

VampiresLair

Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
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I would likely have thrashed you as well for assuming that you kne what I wanted rather than asking me. Yes, going without undergarments is unoriginal. If you are trying to impress someone, you need to either ask, or put a lot of thought into an original surprise. I personally dislike it when someone goes without underwear because of the aftereffects of having genitals against harsher fabrics. Sweating, mainly.

I tell Fox what to wear when I have a preference. I usually do not, since he has been with me long enough to know what I like. However in the beginning he would ask me every time we were going out if there was something I would like to see him in. Assuming will always get you in more trouble than asking, especially in a newer relationship.

DV

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(in reply to andreasubmissive)

Post #: 5

RE: dress code for subs - 6/12/2009 7:28:06 AM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
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Speaking from personal experince, with both the male and female part of this, Daddy and I will always sweat weather we wear undies or not. Now sometimes the undies absorb a little bit of that sweat, but we'll still sweat undies or not.

All though I notice I am sweatier W/O undies, than with.

quote:

ORIGINAL: VampiresLair

I would likely have thrashed you as well for assuming that you kne what I wanted rather than asking me. Yes, going without undergarments is unoriginal. If you are trying to impress someone, you need to either ask, or put a lot of thought into an original surprise. I personally dislike it when someone goes without underwear because of the aftereffects of having genitals against harsher fabrics. Sweating, mainly.

I tell Fox what to wear when I have a preference. I usually do not, since he has been with me long enough to know what I like. However in the beginning he would ask me every time we were going out if there was something I would like to see him in. Assuming will always get you in more trouble than asking, especially in a newer relationship.

DV

(in reply to VampiresLair)

Post #: 6

RE: dress code for subs - 6/12/2009 12:10:24 PM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
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The first time I met my Mistress I wore the same thing she did. Jeans and a T-Shirt. The subject of undergarments never came up.

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(in reply to sparrow69)

Post #: 7

RE: dress code for subs - 6/12/2009 12:22:24 PM

MistressTaboo

Posts: 147
Joined: 6/10/2005
Status: offline

Since I meet everyone the first time in a vanilla setting I wear jeans and a nice shirt....that's normally what my boys wear when I meet them too. I never play anyone on the first meeting so I have no idea what they wear underneath.

Now once we are playing...I'm all for nothing underneath...my current boy shows up in shorts, t-shirt and flipflops...all easy access...the clothing isn't on long enough for me to care what he's wearing...hell half the time I've showered and I'm still in a robe or a towel when he gets here...

Now if I were to take him out...I know he'd dress up and dress nice like he did the night I met him.

But I have been asked before...What would you like me to wear? And normally I'm good with what ever is comfortable and appropriate for the situation.

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(in reply to thishereboi)

Post #: 8

RE: dress code for subs - 6/12/2009 12:27:07 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
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If it matters to me, I tell them what I expect them to wear. We have typically discussed most everything that could come up in a first meeting. I really don't care what they do or don't have on under their clothing as long as their clothing covers sensitive area's and cannot be seen through clothing.

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Post #: 9

RE: dress code for subs - 6/12/2009 12:28:09 PM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
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Ask me. If you don't ask me, then consider where we're meeting (I usually hold first meetings in public places like coffee shops, etc.) If you can't manage either of those, then you're probably not going to fit well with me anyway, but if you've managed to slip under my radar and we're meeting anyway, then -absolutely- don't screw it up by not reading my profile and realizing that I have -no- interest in your bare wanker and dress with a measure of decorum.

In general, you'll rarely go wrong by being polite, dressing as if you care about your appearance (and see yourself as more than a blow-up doll with a -very- long inflation stem), and behaving as if you had some understanding of good manners. I may want you to change things, but that's a pretty safe start, regardless of who you're meeting for the first time, and what purpose you're meeting them for.

Dame Calla

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(in reply to MistressTaboo)

Post #: 10

RE: dress code for subs - 6/12/2009 3:33:09 PM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
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Regardless of side of the kneel or lack there-of, I tend to wear something I believe is flattering while not being too informal. The first person I met on here (And had a relationship with a good chunk of a year) wore jeans, a flanneley type shirt, work boots, as well as a really soft leather jacket to our first meeting. Normally, I would have found that somewhat informal but it suited him well and the energy between us struck me as more important. So, I suppose I'm saying that if someone 'feels' right, I'd look with less scrutiny at what they're wearing. I, to same meeting, wore a thin but very figure-flattering sweater in autumn tones (It was that time of year), black stretch pants, and boots.
Davan

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Post #: 11

RE: dress code for subs - 6/12/2009 4:23:00 PM

PeonForHer

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You think that there should be a note of formality between a meeting of D and s, Davan? Why? That surprises me.

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Post #: 12

RE: dress code for subs - 6/12/2009 4:34:53 PM

DavanKael

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Joined: 10/6/2007
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Hi, Peon----
Actually, I think there should be a note of formality/dressy-ness in attire (Or at least not casualness to the point of jeans and a t-shirt) when meeting anyone who is potential relationship material for the first time (Unless it's a venue in which jeans and a t-shirt are most appropriate and even then, I want garments in good shape, cleanliness, etc.). I think that being willing to attire one's self nicely is a show of respect to self and to the other with whom you are meeting. I am, by no means, suggesting that one wear something that isn't representative of themselves but I am a firm advocate in believing that taking a bit of extra care and effort is a positive thing. Thoughts?
Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 13

RE: dress code for subs - 6/12/2009 4:47:57 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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Well, I couldn't go with the "ask the dominant what to wear" line because it would feel presumptious. Rather as though I'm trying to get a free subby buzz before she's ready to give it. I'd disguise the question by asking what sort of venue we'll be meeting in then hinting at what I'll wear - leaving it open to her to tell me what to wear if she wants to. I'd be surprised if she did, but I'd probably be happy to oblige.

That aside - no, clean but casual and vaguely smart. Proper shoes and not trainers and not blue jeans. Mainly, though, I'd want to get to know her as a friend, first. That would be the main signal I'd want to send with the way I dress. But all this owes a lot to the sort of woman I want to meet and the style of relationship I'm looking for.

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Post #: 14

RE: dress code for subs - 6/12/2009 4:51:18 PM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
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I think we're largely in agreement about expectations and conduct, Peon, just said things a bit differently.
Davan

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May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 15

RE: dress code for subs - 6/12/2009 5:15:53 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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I think you're probably right.

I know some dominants who've signalled that they like to see a man in a suit. Hmm. If I ever meet any one of them, I'll brush one down, grit my teeth and see if I can still remember how to use my iron.

The way I've worked it out is that my clothes are seen more by others than by me. My partner will be the most important of those 'others', so I'll pretty much go along with what she wants to see me in. Always have done. So long as it's not too uncomfortable.

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Post #: 16

RE: dress code for subs - 6/12/2009 5:33:46 PM

PeonForHer

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Joined: 9/27/2008
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I was just thinking: I could meet up with a Domme dressed in a 'sub' outfit. That is, a submarine, painted grey, complete with turret - maybe made out of cardboard. She'd be well impressed at my sense of style and imagination. However, I probably wouldn't do that because it would be silly.

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Post #: 17

RE: dress code for subs - 6/12/2009 5:36:09 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

I was just thinking: I could meet up with a Domme dressed in a 'sub' outfit. That is, a submarine, painted grey, complete with turret - maybe made out of cardboard. She'd be well impressed at my sense of style and imagination. However, I probably wouldn't do that because it would be silly.

I can be absolutely certain....if I met a Domme for the very first time, and she was in a battleship gray outfit, complete with turret....maybe made out of cardboard......

We would never be a couple.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 18

RE: dress code for subs - 6/12/2009 5:45:30 PM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
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Now THAT is a creative, original idea ... although it still might get you in trouble, depending on the venue and the sense of humor of the Dominant in question LOL

On topic, I'm with the others - have some common sense, or ask.

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Post #: 19

RE: dress code for subs - 6/12/2009 6:27:00 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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. . .have some common sense . . .

Hell, nothing in life comes easy, does it?

'Subs, despair and give up'. It's always the same message from Dommes. I don't know why any of us bother.

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Post #: 20

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