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RE: Submission outside your comfort zone - 11/1/2007 6:38:46 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		Here's my prespective.

I'm a story teller. Any of you that have read me here-know that I can use words to good advantage. I can weave intricate tales of how some mythical girl faced fears and shame-and overcame them.  And how proud her man was-for her being so strong and resilient-that she lost her fear. When you KNOW that you have that sort of unwavering support behind you.

What you are capable of, astounds even you at times.

< Message edited by RRafe -- 11/1/2007 6:39:25 PM >

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Submission outside your comfort zone - 11/1/2007 6:45:01 PM   
Abraxus


Posts: 56
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline 		Perks Rocky Moutain Oysters Humm what a novel idea. Gives that some thought. WEG hugs Erin

_____________________________

Master Sage

"There is no sacred law than that of my own."
~unknown

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Submission outside your comfort zone - 11/2/2007 2:43:51 AM   
Cyntilating


Posts: 581
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Here's my prespective.

I'm a story teller. Any of you that have read me here-know that I can use words to good advantage. I can weave intricate tales of how some mythical girl faced fears and shame-and overcame them.  And how proud her man was-for her being so strong and resilient-that she lost her fear. When you KNOW that you have that sort of unwavering support behind you.

What you are capable of, astounds even you at times.


{What you are capable of, astounds even you at times.}

....sooo very true 


_____________________________

Cyndi

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Submission outside your comfort zone - 11/2/2007 4:04:31 AM   
Twicehappy2x


Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Abraxus

Perks Rocky Moutain Oysters Humm what a novel idea. Gives that some thought. WEG hugs Erin


Lmao.....Hello good looking. I am about to violate my friendship with Erin. So, you will owe me one.
 
Open a can of green beans, hide one behind your back, then chase her with it. (You have to promise not to try and make her eat it or i will never tell you another secret again!)

Ok, Erin, go ahead, call Scooter and tell him something equally disgusting to do to me, think of something besides feeding me egg whites, lol. (taps toes waiting for phone to ring so i can hear "you bitch")

Edited to add; Humiliation play for me would be being forced to ride a Kawasaki, i hate Bubba Stewart!

< Message edited by Twicehappy2x -- 11/2/2007 4:11:26 AM >

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to Abraxus)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Submission outside your comfort zone - 11/2/2007 4:35:39 AM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

However, it is not always the case and I've been subject to being taken "outside my comfort zone" by one who's motivations were hostile, where he didn't feel the need to determine by abilities/capabilities, and therefore I couldn't trust or understand that his intentions were anything but hostile.

So within the beautiful, synchronistic, reciprocally trusting relationship, yes, go there, experience! However, without, please don't.


Ah, Tee, yes. Good point, especially for novice lifestyle folks who might be reading.

If this is someone you haven't known long, or someone who makes it his priority to do things like this, if your gut tells you it's not right, it's not right. For me, in the case with Aba, we have a solid core relationship with a lot of trust and time built in. I do not wonder about his motivation, trust him without hesitation, and know he will not go past my point of physical, mental, or emotional health.  It's all about knowing your partner.

(in reply to subtee)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Submission outside your comfort zone - 11/2/2007 4:54:35 AM   
Abraxus


Posts: 56
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline 		"Humiliation play tends to unravel all of that composure that I strive so hard to maintain. How does one keep their sense of dignity and class when that modesty is removed as an option and the primary emotions are embarassment and humiliation? "
Just a thought here, Maybe it is the loss of control of your ability to maintain control of your composure that you fear. However, when you do give that control over to your Master and trust that He/She will be there for you emotionally after the scene, is where the exchange occurs which we seek within this lifestyle that makes all that we do so desirable to us. Furthermore, when pushed outside our comfort zone, isnt that where the most of our personal groweth occurs?  

< Message edited by Abraxus -- 11/2/2007 4:56:55 AM >

_____________________________

Master Sage

"There is no sacred law than that of my own."
~unknown

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Submission outside your comfort zone - 11/2/2007 5:58:42 AM   
biracalsub4wmDom


Posts: 109
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: Illinois
Status: offline 		What are Rocky Mountain Oysters??

(yes.....I AM a newbie!) 

_____________________________

blessings...

biracialsub

***Please respect that I am OWNED & not seeking a Master. Thank You***




(in reply to Abraxus)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Submission outside your comfort zone - 11/2/2007 6:21:40 AM   
AEslaveM


Posts: 126
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		How very beautiful your words and thoughts are..................and i think you speak for many of us in the things that you have done and accomplished with his guidance and care............

Thank you!

_____________________________

M


(in reply to Cyntilating)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Submission outside your comfort zone - 11/2/2007 6:24:51 AM   
AEslaveM


Posts: 126
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		I, too, agree with Lucky Albatross.........that security doesn't come easily for a lot of us, i have noticed.......

_____________________________

M


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Submission outside your comfort zone - 11/2/2007 6:36:02 AM   
Twicehappy2x


Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: biracalsub4wmDom

What are Rocky Mountain Oysters??

(yes.....I AM a newbie!) 


Bulls testicles, yummy....not!

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Submission outside your comfort zone - 11/2/2007 6:49:38 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

In thinking about this more, I'd guess I'd really say "Being comfortable and secure IS what's outside of my comfort zone"  so my partner teaching and giving me that is a constant blessing.



wow thanks for that, it really made me think.
l

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Submission outside your comfort zone - 11/2/2007 7:09:27 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x

quote:

ORIGINAL: biracalsub4wmDom

What are Rocky Mountain Oysters??

(yes.....I AM a newbie!) 


Bulls testicles, yummy....not!


~shaking head~  they are sooooooooo scrumptious...pounded thin, breaded and deep-fried...mmmmmmmmmm

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Submission outside your comfort zone - 11/2/2007 7:48:56 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Abraxus
Just a thought here, Maybe it is the loss of control of your ability to maintain control of your composure that you fear.


Yes, I think that, at least in part, that is exactly what I fear. I tend to place value on people who have it and can keep it together....and I set that bar pretty high for myself. Weakness is not a quality that I tend to place value on....and if I lose control of my composure then to me, it feels like weakness....and that in turn feels like failure.

edited to add: Welcome to the boards, it's good to see you here.

< Message edited by mistoferin -- 11/2/2007 7:51:01 AM >

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Abraxus)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Submission outside your comfort zone - 11/2/2007 7:53:31 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x

quote:

ORIGINAL: biracalsub4wmDom

What are Rocky Mountain Oysters??

(yes.....I AM a newbie!) 


Bulls testicles, yummy....not!


Twice, if we ever go to a CollarMe function, remind me to pack my own lunch! Geez, they're ganging up on me with those dang oysters now!

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Submission outside your comfort zone - 11/2/2007 8:03:56 AM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: Abraxus
Just a thought here, Maybe it is the loss of control of your ability to maintain control of your composure that you fear.


Yes, I think that, at least in part, that is exactly what I fear. I tend to place value on people who have it and can keep it together....and I set that bar pretty high for myself. Weakness is not a quality that I tend to place value on....and if I lose control of my composure then to me, it feels like weakness....and that in turn feels like failure.

edited to add: Welcome to the boards, it's good to see you here.


Fear is the mind killer. I don't take women down this far to destroy them.

I do it to destroy the chains they create for themselves.


_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Submission outside your comfort zone - 11/2/2007 8:09:14 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe
Fear is the mind killer. I don't take women down this far to destroy them.

I do it to destroy the chains they create for themselves.


Yes, I guess that I have created some pretty strong chains for myself....but don't we all? Sometimes those chains can feel very secure and the thought of having someone remove them is scary.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Submission outside your comfort zone - 11/2/2007 8:10:02 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: Abraxus
Just a thought here, Maybe it is the loss of control of your ability to maintain control of your composure that you fear.


Yes, I think that, at least in part, that is exactly what I fear. I tend to place value on people who have it and can keep it together....and I set that bar pretty high for myself. Weakness is not a quality that I tend to place value on....and if I lose control of my composure then to me, it feels like weakness....and that in turn feels like failure.

edited to add: Welcome to the boards, it's good to see you here.


Being imperfect isn't a weakness or failure, it's being human.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Submission outside your comfort zone - 11/2/2007 8:10:56 AM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe
Fear is the mind killer. I don't take women down this far to destroy them.

I do it to destroy the chains they create for themselves.


Yes, I guess that I have created some pretty strong chains for myself....but don't we all? Sometimes those chains can feel very secure and the thought of having someone remove them is scary.


Of course it is. That's why you need to feel that the Top is doing it from a sense of caring-rather than malice-or a power trip.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Submission outside your comfort zone - 11/2/2007 8:13:34 AM   
Twicehappy2x


Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Twice, if we ever go to a CollarMe function, remind me to pack my own lunch! Geez, they're ganging up on me with those dang oysters now!


Awwww...i will pack our lunch, a nice Gewürztraminer , some calamata olives, a few slices of prosciutto , some fresh Riviera pears, a crock of Stilton and a loaf of crusty bread.

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Submission outside your comfort zone - 11/2/2007 8:23:01 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Twice, if we ever go to a CollarMe function, remind me to pack my own lunch! Geez, they're ganging up on me with those dang oysters now!


Awwww...i will pack our lunch, a nice Gewürztraminer , some calamata olives, a few slices of prosciutto , some fresh Riviera pears, a crock of Stilton and a loaf of crusty bread.


I knew I could count on you!


_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)
Profile   Post #: 60
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