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True Masochist - 11/6/2007 11:59:42 AM

slavemaia

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i see this term used frequently, yet, from what i can gather, it appears not many really understand the term true masochist i've been doing some study and research on this since i have been a true masochist most of my life and am learning to work my way out of it. my desire for pain is just erotocism. It may have very little or nothing to do with true masochism. i say this in regard to myself only and don't mean it as a generalization for all those who enjoy pain. But is enjoyment true masochism?

Just as a true sadist is one who derives pleasure from the real, non consentual suffering of another, a true masochist is an expert at creating ways to bring about real, unpleasant suffering in their lives. For example a true masochist may repeatedly and quite unconsciously find ways to get fired from a job, lose a relationship they really desire, do things to create illness in their life, get into car accidents frequently or something else that creates real suffering and hardship for them.

Just thought i'd put this out there for others' thoughts. Hmmmm???

_____________________________

She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

Post #: 1

RE: True Masochist - 11/6/2007 12:15:31 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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My thoughts? Crap.
If your assertion was 'true' then none of these people here, including yourself, can claim to be a slave.

the.dark.

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to slavemaia)

Post #: 2

RE: True Masochist - 11/6/2007 12:20:41 PM

mistoferin

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I totally disagree with your definition of "true" masochism. As a mental health professional I have to wonder where you found such a definition, it's not one I am familiar with..

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~erin~

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Post #: 3

RE: True Masochist - 11/6/2007 12:21:15 PM

AquaticSub

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Some people do hold with the idea that the only true slave is one who did not consent to their slavery, ie. the slaves of history and the child slaves of today, and therefore no "true" slaves exist on this board.

As for the OP... *shrugs* I suppose it is one of looking at it. I don't quite think it adds up though.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 4

RE: True Masochist - 11/6/2007 12:22:09 PM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
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quote:

Just as a true sadist is one who derives pleasure from the real, non consentual suffering of another, a true masochist is an expert at creating ways to bring about real, unpleasant suffering in their lives.

I think you are talking clinical definition here, rather than 'true'. Besides just as people differ in their definition of slave or submissive, they will differ in the definition of masochist and sadist.
Whatever definition works for you is cool but i don't think you should try and put your definition on to everyone else as fact.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to slavemaia)

Post #: 5

RE: True Masochist - 11/6/2007 12:29:54 PM

enchainee

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Disorder of masochism had been linked in the past to the self defeating personality disorder.
Professional diagnostic textbook for psychiatrists has been modified not long ago.

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 6

RE: True Masochist - 11/6/2007 12:32:34 PM

MadRabbit

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I trully hate it when people negate everyone into these stick figure labels.

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RE: True Masochist - 11/6/2007 12:37:35 PM

Jeffff

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There are two kinds of people in the world. Those that believe there are two kinds of people......and those that don't....:)
Jeff

< Message edited by Jeffff -- 11/6/2007 12:38:05 PM >

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Post #: 8

RE: True Masochist - 11/6/2007 12:39:38 PM

missturbation

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What about those people who believe there are millions and millions of different kinds of people?

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What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 9

RE: True Masochist - 11/6/2007 1:38:08 PM

slavemaia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I totally disagree with your definition of "true" masochism. As a mental health professional I have to wonder where you found such a definition, it's not one I am familiar with..

Hmmm - sorry, don't recall stating this is a definition, simply a concept, an idea that i've discovered as a result of my own self-relfection and studying some of Karen Horney's writings. i certainly do not claim to be an expert by any means. Just what would you call a person who repeated sabotages their own life and well being then?

_____________________________

She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 10

RE: True Masochist - 11/6/2007 1:43:20 PM

slavemaia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Some people do hold with the idea that the only true slave is one who did not consent to their slavery, ie. the slaves of history and the child slaves of today, and therefore no "true" slaves exist on this board.

As for the OP... *shrugs* I suppose it is one of looking at it. I don't quite think it adds up though.

Excuse me, if you'll re-read my post, i did not use the word slave or true slave. i'm simply curious about what makes the difference between conscious consentual agreement to receive pain etc. and unconcious self-sabotaging and damaging behaviors. This is my interest. i'm curious as to how that would be defined. If not a true masochist then what?

_____________________________

She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 11

RE: True Masochist - 11/6/2007 1:44:54 PM

slavemaia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: enchainee

Disorder of masochism had been linked in the past to the self defeating personality disorder.
Professional diagnostic textbook for psychiatrists has been modified not long ago.

Ah, then perhaps this is the difference. Thank you. So it's called a self-defeating personality disorder. Hmmm.

_____________________________

She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

(in reply to enchainee)

Post #: 12

RE: True Masochist - 11/6/2007 1:46:05 PM

subtee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavemaia
For example a true masochist may repeatedly and quite unconsciously find ways to get fired from a job, lose a relationship they really desire, do things to create illness in their life, get into car accidents frequently or something else that creates real suffering and hardship

Actually, the definition refers to my exhusband, who I affectionately call, "The Creature."

(in reply to slavemaia)

Post #: 13

RE: True Masochist - 11/6/2007 1:51:26 PM

slavemaia

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Joined: 8/26/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

quote:

Just as a true sadist is one who derives pleasure from the real, non consentual suffering of another, a true masochist is an expert at creating ways to bring about real, unpleasant suffering in their lives.

I think you are talking clinical definition here, rather than 'true'. Besides just as people differ in their definition of slave or submissive, they will differ in the definition of masochist and sadist.
Whatever definition works for you is cool but i don't think you should try and put your definition on to everyone else as fact.

i was not trying to put my "definition", which i never stated as a definition, or anything else on anyone. That's your interpretation my dear. i was merely offering a topic for discussion and my viewpoint. Geesh!!!

_____________________________

She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 14

RE: True Masochist - 11/6/2007 1:52:47 PM

slavemaia

Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

I trully hate it when people negate everyone into these stick figure labels.

Yeah me too. And you came to this conclusion how?

_____________________________

She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

(in reply to MadRabbit)

Post #: 15

RE: True Masochist - 11/6/2007 1:59:20 PM

slavemaia

Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

My thoughts? Crap.
If your assertion was 'true' then none of these people here, including yourself, can claim to be a slave.

the.dark.

Hmmm - interesting - and you're an expert how? There was no assertion, no definition, just pure ideas, concepts. Touchy touchy.

_____________________________

She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 16

RE: True Masochist - 11/6/2007 2:02:50 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavemaia

Excuse me, if you'll re-read my post, i did not use the word slave or true slave. i'm simply curious about what makes the difference between conscious consentual agreement to receive pain etc. and unconcious self-sabotaging and damaging behaviors. This is my interest. i'm curious as to how that would be defined. If not a true masochist then what?

Scroll up and look at my post again. The parts about the term slavery were not directed at you at all, but in response to the dark, as indicated by the little "in reply to Darcyandthedark" that this forum so nicely provides.

Now regarding you and your question, as I said before "As for the OP... *shrugs* I suppose it is one of looking at it. I don't quite think it adds up though. " That's my opinion of your post and theory.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 11/6/2007 2:03:41 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to slavemaia)

Post #: 17

RE: True Masochist - 11/6/2007 2:16:18 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

from what i can gather, it appears not many really understand the term true masochist

That's because it does not exist except in the understanding of information that you have gathered about yourself.

quote:

i've been doing some study and research on this since i have been a true masochist most of my life and am learning to work my way out of it.

Yippeee.... Let's throw a party

quote:

a true masochist is an expert at creating ways to bring about real, unpleasant suffering in their lives.

You say this, claiming that you yourself are a true masochist and yet, you also state that

quote:

my desire for pain is just erotocism

Are you saying that in your research, you have discovered that wanting and needing erotic pain is nothing more than a cry for help? That wanting and needing erotic pain, and eagerly and willingly reaching for that; is actually just an illusion? That the reality is that we are so unhappy that we are 'creating unpleasant suffering' in our own lives?

Is that what you are saying?

You are fucking whacked girl.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to slavemaia)

Post #: 18

RE: True Masochist - 11/6/2007 2:16:44 PM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavemaia

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

quote:

Just as a true sadist is one who derives pleasure from the real, non consentual suffering of another, a true masochist is an expert at creating ways to bring about real, unpleasant suffering in their lives.

I think you are talking clinical definition here, rather than 'true'. Besides just as people differ in their definition of slave or submissive, they will differ in the definition of masochist and sadist.
Whatever definition works for you is cool but i don't think you should try and put your definition on to everyone else as fact.

i was not trying to put my "definition", which i never stated as a definition, or anything else on anyone. That's your interpretation my dear. i was merely offering a topic for discussion and my viewpoint. Geesh!!!

Not to argue semantics here but the quote from you in blue offers your definitions of a true sadist and true masochist.
As for the rest, well i discussed it and gave my view point? Careful what you ask for if you are going to be so sensitive about what you get.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to slavemaia)

Post #: 19

RE: True Masochist - 11/6/2007 2:21:04 PM

DarkDaddyZ

Posts: 805
Joined: 4/7/2006
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The word "true" when it comes to the lifestyle squicks a lot of us out as mentioned in numerous threads before.

The only thing true about me is I'm black and one day, I'll die.

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"Flirting is part of the job description." DJ Jesus (Lucy Daughter Of The Devil)

Vanilla Official Music Page http://www.myspace.com/djzulu

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 20

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