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RE: Dumb Question, but an honest one - 11/11/2007 8:31:55 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

I can only comment on how I would incorporate my dominant side into a functional cuckold relationship. It seems like what you have a dysfunctional one, but one that is close enough, so you will take it, and instead when you are suffering emotionally, chalk it up to being your role and figure you'll find a way through it. 

If I were cuckolding a slave, I'd use my relationship with other men to intensify the dynamic, not make my mate unnecessarily insecure. I would not use vague answers and spiteful tones to play on his insecurities and keep him in that mode in order to control him.  I don't believe dominance require emotional manipulation.  She seems to be doing that to you, so she's either using it as a tool because she's inexperienced and thinks that's the best way to do it, or she honestly could give a rat's ass about you and is happy to have a guy she can push around while bedding men on the side.

Instead of forcing my mate to hide cameras to feel a part of, I'd make sure he was painfully aware of the exploits (again, make him part OF in order to feed the energy, rather than keep him in the dark to breed insecurity as a power tool) and I would use them intensely in the relationship.  She's giving you half but not the entire thing and then letting your own fear and insecurity boil over.  Next stage will be resentment and anger.  You will try to rectify but she'll push you down and you'll have to chalk that up to dominance also.  You are in a no win situation.

I find the idea of a functional cuckold relationship to be quite hot, but very idealistic.  But I'd at least make the effort to make sure my cuckold was *in the relationship* and not *in the dark*.

Akasha


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(in reply to FaithfulYoungCuk)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Dumb Question, but an honest one - 11/11/2007 9:35:37 PM   
LadyLegs


Posts: 176
Status: offline 		OK.  Let me make sure I got it right.  You picked a vanilla woman that likes to cheat on men because you think it will work better than someone that is already in the lifestyle, and now you need to teach her to cuckold you the way you like.  And you are surprised that you aren't getting a lot of support on here.

What your vanilla domme needs to understand is that there are bulls.  Ones that will happily service her with full knowlege of the situation.   Maybe you could select them for her.  Good luck with that.


(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Dumb Question, but an honest one - 11/11/2007 9:45:22 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsIncontrol

quote:

ORIGINAL: MystressDream
Fact:  She is not a Domme.  She is a vanilla girl who likes slutting around.  Good for her.  It disgusts me that she has decided that by lying, deceiving, and manipulating someone it makes her a "Domme".  She has no clue whatsoever what being a Domme entails, or the responsibilities that go with it.  It's a sexual game.  Period.
 
Fact:  The OP is NOT a cuckold.  He is a vanilla boyfriend being used.  And, he seems to like it.  What a sad, pathetic situation.  
 


Thank you!  Finally someone with some sense!  I didn't want to add to this thread because it seemed pointless.  He isn't interested in getting help or opinions...he enjoys the pain of the relationship choices he has made...or made up (which I think may be the case).

Ahhhh, so I have no sense.  Good to know.  I'm sure that I told him that she wasn't a dominant and was lying and taking advantage of him?  Hmmm, ok.  Perhaps I dreamt that.

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Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to MsIncontrol)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Dumb Question, but an honest one - 11/11/2007 9:52:18 PM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline 		Akasha,

Thanks for your post.  Your insight on the dominant side of the cuckold equation makes it clear, potentially, where the other part of the problem lays.

Side note to FaithfulYoungCuk:  if you have communicated your concerns to your partner, this really isn't an issue regarding latitudes of dominance and adjusting your feelings/expectations accordingly.  Rather, your girlfriend is using you in an extremely hurtful, soul destroying kind of way.  Of course, it's up to you whether you want to continue accepting this treatment.

Elan.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Dumb Question, but an honest one - 11/11/2007 10:16:07 PM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline 		FaithfulYoungCuk,

I'm not meaning to ram home my point in an unkind way, but I just went to look at your profile.  Two things stood out.  This one:

"If you're a female Domme or Sub, i'm looking for someone like you.  No men please, i'm currently not too comfortable discussing my feelings with men considering the high-cuckolding regimen I've undergone lately all i want is a woman's advice."

And this one:

"Lives For:  Cuckolding."

Something doesn't jive here.  Only you know the answer.  Certainly, as before, I encourage you to be honest with yourself and to make relationship choices you're happy with.  To close off, I'll quote a bit of advice I wrote on another forum.  This doesn't pertain directly to your situation, but it most certainly underlies it.  As follows:

1.)  Excepting safety and consent, there are no rules to BDSM.  You can "do" BDSM however you want to.  If there is such a thing as "correct" play, I'd say this any way that makes you and your partner feel good.

2.)  You don't have to do anything you don't want to.  Or rather, let me put that a slightly different way.  Find the things that turn you on and that you know (or think) you'd enjoy.  These are good places to explore first.

3.)  There is no rush.  Take things at whatever pace feels comfortable for you.  If you're playing and something starts to feel uncomfortable for you, stop, communicate, and adjust as necessary.  Often, by making adjustments and gaining reassurance from your partner, you may feel fine to continue, but it is also acceptable just to move onto something else if you feel the need.  In my opinion, there is never a time when you cannot stop everything and ask your partner for support and comfort.  This is the human connection and it overrides all play.

Let me repeat the last two sentences again because these are actually of fundamental importance to your circumstances:

In my opinion, there is never a time when you cannot stop everything and ask your partner for support and comfort.  This is the human connection and it overrides all play.

Elan.

(in reply to FaithfulYoungCuk)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Dumb Question, but an honest one - 11/12/2007 5:32:22 AM   
MsIncontrol


Posts: 261
Joined: 10/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsIncontrol

quote:

ORIGINAL: MystressDream
Fact:  She is not a Domme.  She is a vanilla girl who likes slutting around.  Good for her.  It disgusts me that she has decided that by lying, deceiving, and manipulating someone it makes her a "Domme".  She has no clue whatsoever what being a Domme entails, or the responsibilities that go with it.  It's a sexual game.  Period.
 
Fact:  The OP is NOT a cuckold.  He is a vanilla boyfriend being used.  And, he seems to like it.  What a sad, pathetic situation.  
 


Thank you!  Finally someone with some sense!  I didn't want to add to this thread because it seemed pointless.  He isn't interested in getting help or opinions...he enjoys the pain of the relationship choices he has made...or made up (which I think may be the case).

Ahhhh, so I have no sense.  Good to know.  I'm sure that I told him that she wasn't a dominant and was lying and taking advantage of him?  Hmmm, ok.  Perhaps I dreamt that.


Pandora, no disrespect meant toward you.  I thought your advice to him was good as well.  I was commenting more on the latter part of the post stating he was not, in fact a cuckold, but a vanilla boyfriend being used and enjoying it. 

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(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Dumb Question, but an honest one - 11/12/2007 12:00:50 PM   
Domin8tingUrDrmz


Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline 		I had intended to read all of the replies before posting; however, after reading the OP I no longer had the desire to read further...yikes.

The problem I see is that you are not her boyfriend - you are her gay roomate. Period.  She may tell you that you are her boyfriend while her lovers are away...but, that is most likely to keep you at home taking care of the chores. If you WERE her boyfriend she WOULD tell her lovers that you are.  They would KNOW who you are and what you mean to her.

You KNOW you are her gay roomate (whether or not you are gay has nothing to do with it at all) and you realize based on your past relationship that her classifying you as such puts your relationship in jeopardy.  Duh! 

Either accept the fact that you are and always will be the gay roomate or move on and find a Cuckoldress who will openly acknowledge her relationship with you to her lovers.  You can't have it both ways!  She is not going to change - especially if she has no desire to hear your concerns. 

There are plenty of women who enjoy having a cuck and who would make said cuck feel secure in that relationship.  She isn't making you feel secure.  Either you enjoy that or you don't.  If you enjoy the insecurity then quit your damned whining and get on with it.  If the insecurity is bugging you - fix it - either move on, or have her read these threads so she sees what we see.

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(in reply to FaithfulYoungCuk)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Dumb Question, but an honest one - 11/12/2007 2:54:58 PM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline
quote:

MsIncontrol:
Pandora, no disrespect meant toward you.  I thought your advice to him was good as well.  I was commenting more on the latter part of the post stating he was not, in fact a cuckold, but a vanilla boyfriend being used and enjoying it.


Vanilla or not, evidently FaithfulYoungCuk isn't enjoying being used.  Cuk's situation and posts are classic examples of the misguided notion that one should "accept any kind of behavior all in the name of kink".  Of course, this is utter nonsense.  FaithfulYoungCuk already knows the answer to his plight.  If you don't like the situation, communicate.  Perhaps, try more than a few times to find middle ground with your partner.  However, if you still remain unhappy in such a fundamental way, it's time to move on.  Cuk's girlfriend/domme apparently has many active suitors so he need not feel guilty when he shows her the door.

I have little patience for those who use BDSM as a magic elixir to behave selfishly, with no regard for others.  That said, lest it appear that I'm unfairly judging the domme, FaithfulYoungCuk is equally responsible for the problem.  Establishing boundaries is a good thing to learn how to do - for all kinky people; submissives, switches, and dominants alike.  FaithfulYoungCuk apparently gave his partner a free ticket to fuck whomever she wants, whenever she wants, and now she likes this freedom better than her partner.  These things happen.  It's time for Cuk to recognize and learn from his mistake, move on, and negotiate more mutually acceptable and rewarding terms with his next partner.

Elan.

(in reply to MsIncontrol)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Dumb Question, but an honest one - 11/12/2007 4:47:16 PM   
FaithfulYoungCuk


Posts: 36
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline 		When I had a problem Saturday night I left and contacted her by phone and said "tell me we're not over" and she said "were not: far from it".  Then she had the guy leave and go home and I got to talk to her.  She was too sore to have sex again but I got to fall asleep next to her.  She said we'd have sex soon.  She came home this morning with a nerver problem in her shoulder but i was so worked up from waiting that she had sex with me anyway.   We talked a while about whether she was going to cut me off completely first and i said i couldn't handle that.  She doesn't keep these men around too long.

I guess the best thing i can say is that if she wanted to leave me she's had 8 chances since May, all with guys who have plenty of cash and cock to go around. 

The gay roommate thing bugs me.  Now she says she likes that it makes me paranoid.  It makes me not know what to think cuz she gets seriuos offers left and right but instead she stays with me.  Our sex life was better before I got preoccupied with this job thing. 

But every time I've put it to her that I have a big issue with how close some guy is getting, pretty soon he's history.  I want to be paranoid but I'm beginning to know better.

(in reply to ElanSubdued)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Dumb Question, but an honest one - 11/12/2007 4:55:40 PM   
FaithfulYoungCuk


Posts: 36
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline 		This is something she wrote me recently the last time we talked in depth. 

""Look this whole guy situation, you asked for this, you wanted this, it turns you on that I do these things??????  That's what you told me anyways????  Or was that some kind of bullshit?  See baby, I'm going to answer one of your later questions with this too, I don't give you more than what you asked for, and now you can't handle it and want it to slow down???  I'm confused.  which is it?  See I remember everything!  Do you remember when we were working at ***** and you kept telling me that you wanted me to be able to have fun when ever I wanted?  Of course you don't because you are only thinking about the way you feel right now.  Look I finally got to a place where I can have fun doing this and you are doing what you did with Sherif, making me not even want to bother.  So tell me baby what do I do?  The way I see it is that you shouldn't ask for things that you can't hadle.  That is my advise.  So now what do I do, that is the question at hand here, right?  Well after this weekend baby I'm going to stop all of this again because you can't handle it.  You know when you do things like asking others for advise they are going to give you an opinion not knowing the whole story, you ask people these questions and leave out the details, like why is it that I call you gay to them?  You know why but again your selective hearing has only allowed to remember what you wanted to, like when I asked you what I should tell these guys, do you remeber that?  I asked you that before I even told sherif anything.  You said and I quote "I don't care what you tell them".  See baby, something that you are forgetting is that I will not let you tell me something and not hold up your end of the bargain.  I will admit that yes we do need to be on the same page, but we can't be on the same page if you are just going to going to say things like "I just like to sort out my feelings on my own".  If you want to talk about this please lets talk about this, but I do have to ask you to stop sending me replys you get from people that don't have the whole story.  See they see it as immature however I'm being mature and you are just bitching your way through it because you are trying to save the little bit of masculinaty that you left, which to be completely honest baby you don't have very much to hold on to.    One thing I do want to say to you baby, and it is very important, if you want me to keep this up, you have to let me do it my way with out having you interfiering in it.  This isn't something I do, and you are just really confusing me to the point that I don't even know what to do to be completely honest.  To me I don't see the differance if they know the truth or not because the way I see it they are just a fuck, so what the hell does it matter what I tell them.  To me they aren't worth the truth!  You do know that I hope.  That is why I tell you everything and just give them a bunch of crap that isn't true.  They don't matter, and you do it's that simple.  If you want me to tell them the truth because that is what's keeping you up at night I will but I promise it will ruin everything I built with every one of them, and then you know where I am, back to square one.  I hate starting at square one!  It took me 6 months to get comfortable with the idea in the first place!  If I start from scrach then what, it could be another 6 months to get this all worked out the way you see it should be.  Is that what yo want?  Would that make you happy?  Because appartently my happiness doesn't matter.  But the question is do you even know why?  Well I say that because I need a bond with someone, I need them to feel like they can want me without any other stipulations, like for instanse a boyfriend to contend with otherwise I just feel like a whore, be as it may baby, if I feel like a whore I won't want to do any of it.  I don't know what else to tell you, that is how I've felt about it.  My heart and my soul and my emotions are to powerful for me to feel otherwise, unfortunately.   Well I hope that I've answered all of this as much as possible and if I forgot something let me know so I can clear it up.  I don't want anymore unanswered questions that you have to get outside advise for before talking to me first.""

My problem is i feel like she only listened to me so far and for lack of experience didn't understand the need to set clearer limits. I have a lot more to say and a lot more interest.... i have a lot more interest than just wanting these guys in the picture and whatever happens happens.  for me what happens happens is not a good idea when it comes to what these men can potentially do to my day/week/month.  A stipulation i would've thrown in is that I will by no means be ruled by the whims for pleasure by a man.  I will let no man set my agenda.  Another stipulation I would've added is that if part of this isn't working we should be able to adjust it as we go to make sure that it works.

On the other side of the coin, she's only now beginning to spread her wings.  Perhaps a lot of what has been read in has been an extension of my own inner fears which I was apparantly not able to keep from coloring perception, though i've tried to say its just my side of the story.  Its true: I do have problems with the way we're handling this right now and I don't know how to correct it all at once and I'm afraid it will get brushed under the rug.  But i also know Im jaded and that she surprises me all the time with her strength and clarity.


< Message edited by FaithfulYoungCuk -- 11/12/2007 5:01:45 PM >

(in reply to FaithfulYoungCuk)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Dumb Question, but an honest one - 11/12/2007 5:51:02 PM   
Griswold


Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MystressDream

quote:

ORIGINAL: FaithfulYoungCuk

there are no words right now


This is totally rediculous.  All responding to this guy are just feeding his own little fantasy.  He has been told repeatedly, on more than just this thread, what he "should" do.  He doesn't want to listen.  It is his own little soap opera that he gets off sharing with all on here who will engage in it with him. 
 
Fact:  She is not a Domme.  She is a vanilla girl who likes slutting around.  Good for her.  It disgusts me that she has decided that by lying, deceiving, and manipulating someone it makes her a "Domme".  She has no clue whatsoever what being a Domme entails, or the responsibilities that go with it.  It's a sexual game.  Period.
 
Fact:  The OP is NOT a cuckold.  He is a vanilla boyfriend being used.  And, he seems to like it.  What a sad, pathetic situation. 
 
This whole drama, as well as his other posted dramas, are the stereotypical BS that can be attached to this lifestyle.  Where is the intensity, intimacy, TRUST, COMMUNICATION that are crucial to the D/s or M/s lifestyle? 
 
What I have learned from this is to delete any thread this idiot chooses to post.
 
For those who wish to feed his fantasy, I hope you all enjoy yourselves.


Uhhhh....Negatory on that one.

You're wrong (somewhat).

He might be leading the question (subs have been known to do that on occasion)...however...he's a cuck (or a cuck wannabee)...it's a different gig...one you may not entirely understand.

Cucks (I have a little sensitivity to this kink) have an unusual (powerful) deference to women.

I've heard (or read) a lot of Dommes opinions as to cucks..."they're one trick ponies"...."they're only interested in their own kink"....possibly true...

But ladies...trust me on this one...you want a loyal, subservient (often overwhelming so....most cuckolds I've met are easily millionaires...if not more so), caring man?

Pick a cuckold.

If it ain't your kink...walk away...it never will be...you weren't designed for that kind of man, and as much as you might wish it to be...like all kinks...like all sexual preferences...if it ain't yours...it'll never be.

But if it is...or if it could be...you'll never find a more loyal man.

And all while he wishes, earnestly....for your pleasure. 

Yours.

I didn't research Shakespeare for this....I simply know this kink.  I live this kink.

I breathe it...often.  I'm a single guy (I was married once) and I've passed a lot of women up in my various travails because they couldn't understand my interest (or had distinct disdain for it)...and my love for it.  Too many of them saw me as others had as "a one trick pony".

Someone that could only thrive on my kink....my interests.

They missed the point.  Entirely.

I, as many cucks...thrive on my Domme/Mistress/Wife/Better half....pick one...her interests.

I assume she wants to have at least a kabillion orgasms between now and when she dies (by the way....so would I).  I'm old enough to know that women can have....oh let's see....9 quadrillion to every one for a man....and...why not?

Am I weak?  I don't think so.

Am I a pussy?

I don't think so.

I own several companies.  All doing quite well.  Every cuck I've ever spoken to is doing better than most (not all).  Some do as well as I...some better...some worse, but as a whole, most seem to do better than the general populace.

Cuckolds are industrious.

They have to be.  They're percieved as lesser men. 

(They're not).

Cuckolds want to win.

Cuckolds want their mates to win.

To levels you can't even begin to comprehend.

Don't underestimate cuckolds.

They never underestimate you.

< Message edited by Griswold -- 11/12/2007 6:24:46 PM >

(in reply to MystressDream)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Dumb Question, but an honest one - 11/12/2007 6:09:25 PM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline 		FaithfulYoungCuk,

Okay.  Now I've read your OP in entirety.  While I read your last thread in detail, I'll admit that I initially skimmed your OP here.  Similar to your profile, a number of things stick out in your OP.

The way you've described it, your girlfriend is a nymphomaniac.  She seems to bask in sexual power and at the same time is unable to control her sexual impulses.  For example, having sex with even one person (let alone many) at the place you work is extremely bad judgment.  It is no wonder she no longer works there.

You are communicating your concerns and needs to your girlfriend and she is clearly ignoring you.  Sure, different people have alternative points of view about a situation, but what you've described here makes it seem that your girlfriend lacks any kind of empathy skills.

When someone gives you their word and then repeatedly fails to follow through, this is a good indication that you are low on their priority list.

This one is a kicker.  I'll quote you:  "If she'll knowingly shafts me because they're being typical men and pestering her about what they want what they want what they want, that means I'm submitting to them because she's my boss and I do what she says and if she does what they suggest I'm marching to their drummer.  All I want is their penis in my girlfriend."  So you give permission for your girlfriend to have sleepovers with other men, but think you're going to specify the exact time when the sex stops and when the men leave?  You've essentially given your girlfriend away for the evening.  When sleeping lovers awake in the morning, it is fairly typical that they talk to one another, have breakfast, etc.  True enough, you've tried to negotiate these types of courtesies out of the deal and your girlfriend has, to some degree, agreed.  However, as you point out, she is not living up to these agreements.  You might want to ask yourself how realistic it is to think that another man will stick his penis in your girlfriend for your amusement and then leave as soon as you've gotten your kicks out of the act.  Perhaps your girlfriend is not the only one lacking empathy in this situation.  It sounds to me as though you want to use these men as much as your girlfriend is using you.

quote:

I know she looks at it like they don't matter compared to me and what they do isn't important because these guys are fleeting.  But why is it so hard to get that I want to submit to her and yet I'm completely unwilling to submit to them?


This isn't a question of you submitting to these men.  Rather, this is a case of you wanting to use these men without their consent.  If you found the men and negotiated with them, up front, to penetrate your girlfriend and leave, things would probably be working out much better - at least according to your plan.  As it is, your girlfriend is using your cuckold dynamics to cover her nymphomania.  When she invites the men over, she is probably not telling them they are there to satisfy your cuckold kink.  Consequently, sure, the men don't leave and your girlfriend ends up playing hostess in the morning.  Even if your girlfriend says otherwise, you're not part of the equation.

I just read the post where you quoted your girlfriend's letter.  (Side note:  quoting private correspondence on the Internet is beyond bad form.)  Up to about half way through the letter, I was starting to sympathize with your girlfriend, but then she described her rationale for using subterfuge.  Wow.  Both of you lie to these men and, in all likelihood, to one another too.

The more I read about your relationship, the more the term "trainwreck" comes to mind.  Neither of you seems fit for a long-term, committed relationship.  Perhaps this is salvageable, but I must admit, given the multiple layers of ulterior motives and predatory behaviors on both your parts, I find this unlikely.

I wish there was some way to give you "feel good" advice, but based on your actions I'm not hugely motivated to do so.  You're asking for salvation when you created purgatory of your own choosing.  Sure, we all make mistakes and sometimes must rise above our behavior.  Okay.  Here's my advise.  Start acting like an adult and take responsibility for your actions.  Stop lying and using people.  Take some time to reflect on what you truly want from a relationship.  After you've examined your behavior, desires, and the way you've been treating others, hopefully your next relationship will go much better.

Elan.

(in reply to FaithfulYoungCuk)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Dumb Question, but an honest one - 11/12/2007 6:14:53 PM   
cuck4U4ever


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/15/2007
Status: offline 		It is my dream......to find a woman that would enjoy this type of relationship.  If it leads to any problems between the two,,,,then they woulld have to be worked out using the love and communication between them.   Just like any relationship, straight, fem dom, cuckold, they all have there own bumps in the road!

(in reply to Griswold)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Dumb Question, but an honest one - 11/12/2007 6:28:25 PM   
Griswold


Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cuck4U4ever

It is my dream......to find a woman that would enjoy this type of relationship.  If it leads to any problems between the two,,,,then they woulld have to be worked out using the love and communication between them.   Just like any relationship, straight, fem dom, cuckold, they all have there own bumps in the road!


Bud...you're hurting the genre....lose the tan.

(K?)

(in reply to cuck4U4ever)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Dumb Question, but an honest one - 11/12/2007 6:37:35 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		FR
I dont doubt the OP is a cuk, I think it's inappropriate to suggest so, he knows that, not us.  Is she treating cukholding like a license to interject her garbage on him?  Yeah, I think so. In that long-ass response of hers which reads like garbage from a used car salesmen what is clearly lacking is affection and care for the OP. 

Then again, what the hell do we know about it?   OP your posting of her responses to you indicates you are asking many others for their opinions on this situation which suggests to me that you need to stop spinning in circles and decide what it is YOU want.  Hell we don't know you and never will.  Does this work for you?  Can you communicate past the difficulty and work through it?  Will you be happy with this person?  Don't settle for something you can't live with because it's hard to find someone that fits your needs, and if you do decide to work it out, quit being passive agressive and saying "I don't know" or "I don't care" and tell her what your needs are.  

Regardless of what your kink is, you still have to take care of you.

good luck to you,
l

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to cuck4U4ever)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Dumb Question, but an honest one - 11/12/2007 6:44:54 PM   
MistressTaboo


Posts: 147
Joined: 6/10/2005
Status: offline 		First before you start in on how I hate cucks as well...My husband and I practice cuckolding...as well as many other thing...but I went into it carefully. I researched and I read everything I could before we started.

I forget which site I read but the Mistress said no matter how much time she spent with a bull, lover whatever you want to call the anti-cuck she spent 3 times that amount with her husband. You first have to create that bond between the two of you before you can explore the rest.

I make sure my husband has met my bulls, often he's in the room, when I'm with them. He knows he comes first no matter what. He loves to cook them dinner and hand me toys when I play them. He's an active part of it all even if he's not in the room. He knows he's valued and loved.

But I will say one of the things that annoys me the most about cuckolding reading or stories is how the wife often becomes the almost submissive to the other man. I'm sorry...I'm a sadistic bitch. No man is ever going to tell me what to do. I set my own times and run my own life and he doesn't like it there is the door....but that's probably why all my bulls have been submissives. I run the show. End of story.

So here is my two cents. She's not making you an active part of your own life. She's abusing your love and trust and quite frankly your kink. A cuck is not a doormat...a cuck is someone who wants his wife/girlfriend to be happy, but not at his own expense. You need to shut down the kink and see if there is anything worth salvaging on the vanilla end. If there is then go slow, talk more, sent more boundries, and make sure you are happy in your choosen kink. If there is nothing outside of a your kink which is making you unhappy...then time to look around and start over with someone else.

Mistress Taboo


_____________________________

"I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint, I do not feel ashamed" Meredith Brooks

(in reply to ElanSubdued)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Dumb Question, but an honest one - 11/12/2007 7:20:50 PM   
Griswold


Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline 		Nicely put.

(in reply to MistressTaboo)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Dumb Question, but an honest one - 11/12/2007 11:23:59 PM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline 		laurell3 and MistressTaboo,

Thank you both for giving FaithfulYoungCuk sensible, objective, and constructive advice.  I must admit, the more details Cuk gave, the more he and his girlfriend triggered my ire.  Along with some other people here, you've both given very helpful, supportive advice.

Thanks again,

Elan.

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Dumb Question, but an honest one - 11/12/2007 11:48:54 PM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline 		FaithfulYoungCuk,

I apologize if I was overly judgmental of you and your girlfriend.  You've got a lot to work through.  Many people have given excellent advice which I hope helps you make decisions for greater happiness.

Good luck,

Elan.

(in reply to FaithfulYoungCuk)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Dumb Question, but an honest one - 11/13/2007 2:03:28 AM   
FaithfulYoungCuk


Posts: 36
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline 		working on it every day

(in reply to ElanSubdued)
Profile   Post #: 60
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