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Sex and the Sub - 11/12/2007 11:20:39 AM

joanus

Posts: 527
Joined: 2/28/2007
Status: offline

This weekend was my birthday and so a Domme I had been talking to and I hooked up for my birthday spanking and more. Anywho I sunday morning she was wrestling with the moral desision of where or not to bone me.(I am very cute) I did not show up expecting to get laid nor was I hopeing to, as I know sex and submission are two different things.

Anywho Now we all agree that a Domme is nothing like a hooker.

So my Question is if and when should you or should you not fuck a sub?

This does not include the domme doing a male sub with a strapon in the ass this means male to female sex.
Oh and for the curious I did NOT get laid, nor was I dispointed to not get laid.

Post #: 1

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/12/2007 10:21:08 PM

MistressHolly71

Posts: 354
Joined: 7/4/2007
From: Southern Maryland
Status: offline

Happy Birthday.

It depends on whether or not I'm interested in the sub & if I'm in the mood. Sometimes I say yes, sometimes I say no.

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(in reply to joanus)

Post #: 2

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/12/2007 10:31:23 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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In my world: I should if I want to and they agree.

Master Fire

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(in reply to joanus)

Post #: 3

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/12/2007 10:37:03 PM

Shawn1066

Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: joanus
Anywho I sunday morning she was wrestling with the moral desision of where or not to bone me.(I am very cute)

And modest, eh?

Sorry, I just had to add that in. :-p

< Message edited by Shawn1066 -- 11/12/2007 10:39:44 PM >

(in reply to Shawn1066)

Post #: 4

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/12/2007 10:38:20 PM

FullfigRIMaam

Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: joanus
sunday morning she was wrestling with the moral desision of where or not to bone me.(I am very cute) I did not show up expecting to get laid nor was I hopeing to, as I know sex and submission are two different things.

Sex and submission are two different things, but I wouldn't have had the moral dilemma at all. If you were there, and in the morning, the moral dilemma would have already been solved, and I'd have done you.
Part of the reason I don't casually play is because in my D/s relationship, if he behaves well, he makes me horny, so we end up...
Interestingly enough, I recently had fantastic conversation with a "true slave" for whom intimacy was an absolute non option between a "true slave" and his Mistress; needless to say we never actually met. M

< Message edited by FullfigRIMaam -- 11/12/2007 10:44:14 PM >

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(in reply to joanus)

Post #: 5

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/12/2007 10:47:13 PM

BrainSlugs83

Posts: 117
Joined: 2/27/2007
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I don't understand why there is a moral dilemma at all. If a domme wants to fuck her sub, why can't she?

(in reply to FullfigRIMaam)

Post #: 6

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/12/2007 10:50:20 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
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I agree, a lot think sex is a submissive act, being penetrated or what have you. I personally think that it's neither submissive nor dominant, it's the connotation you add to the act, and personally I think it is being dominant to demand sex. you want something and you're getting it, on your terms and on your whims, what's not dominant about that lol.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BrainSlugs83

I don't understand why there is a moral dilemma at all. If a domme wants to fuck her sub, why can't she?

(in reply to BrainSlugs83)

Post #: 7

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/12/2007 10:51:20 PM

FullfigRIMaam

Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
Status: offline

Apparently a lot of dominas feel it is undommely to fuck their boys, imagine my surprise, lol. M

_____________________________

"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." Erich Fromm

(in reply to BrainSlugs83)

Post #: 8

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/13/2007 12:23:21 AM

MistressT01

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/30/2007
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It depends on the relationship I have with that particular sub.

(in reply to FullfigRIMaam)

Post #: 9

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/13/2007 1:17:47 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: joanus
...she was wrestling with the moral desision of where or not to bone me.(I am very cute)

I did not show up expecting to get laid...

...if and when should you or should you not fuck a sub?

As for me, no.....while I might have sexual relations with a submissive I'm partnered to, I don't "hook up" nor do I "bone" male subs I see on a first date. (But perhaps I'm just uptight and not ok with the crass manner in which you've addressed this topic, who knows...)

_____________________________

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Ms World Leather 2004
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"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to joanus)

Post #: 10

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/13/2007 4:13:56 AM

MsCfromMelbourne

Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

What Mistress wants, Mistress gets.

I don't agree sex cannot be a form of submission. As someone in a monogamous D/s relationship, I believe in BDSM as an expression of love and of course I feel "Dommely" having sex (or my sex life would be a bit incongruous with the rest of me, no?)

I wouldn't shag a sub on a first date (but I wouldn't shag anyone on a first date!)

Can I offer you some advice, joanus?

Over the years I have noticed that Dommes often promise all kinds of things will happen "when we next meet". To get you salivating like a dog for us. We fire you up, but have no intention of delivering. We are absolutely first class cock teasers. Unlike our do-gooder vanilla sisters, the fact that you boys are expecting - and don't get - sex from us doesn't bother us in the slightest.

Start treating those "future fantasies" with a bit more skepticism. If I get so turned on by BDSM I shag a new sub, neither of us saw it coming. No announcement or "moral wrestling" is needed

< Message edited by MsCfromMelbourne -- 11/13/2007 4:18:02 AM >

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Post #: 11

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/13/2007 4:27:37 AM

LaMistressa

Posts: 460
Joined: 12/4/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora
As for me, no.....while I might have sexual relations with a submissive I'm partnered to, I don't "hook up" nor do I "bone" male subs I see on a first date. (But perhaps I'm just uptight and not ok with the crass manner in which you've addressed this topic, who knows...)

You were not the only one who was dismayed by the crass and juvenile language used in the OP. I definitely had a "you damn kids get off of my yard" moment when reading it.

As for me, I have had sex with the submissives I was interested in and attracted to, but it certainly isn't a given.

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 12

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/13/2007 4:28:54 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

I'm curious - why is it sex if a male penetrates a female, but not sex if a female penetrates a male with a strap on?

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Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)

Post #: 13

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/13/2007 5:02:33 AM

joanus

Posts: 527
Joined: 2/28/2007
Status: offline

To address the last two posts
LaMistressa
LOL the language comes from the fact that 1. I didn't want the topic to be too serious, because people tend to get up in arms when the topic is serious. 2. I also did it that way to show that while it would have been fun I really didn't care that much about the whole not getting sex thing. 3. When Im not in Submissive mode I tend to be a smart ass.
MsSonnetMarwood

I personaly consider that type of sex more BDSM than just plain sex, sorry if that confused you.

So if you dont like the way I post fine dont read it, If you like or dont care how I post good for you have a fucking Cookie.

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

Post #: 14

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/13/2007 5:38:44 AM

rubberpet

Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline

Well, joanus, we see that modesty isn't your strong suit, to start with.

What does being "cute" have to do with the price of tea in China? Just because you may be cute doesn't mean it's your ticket to getting laid. Besides being young, a little immature, and having raging hormones, you had to show up "hoping" to get laid. For Pete's sake, you refered to it as her deciding to "bone" you because you think you're cute. Yes, submission and sex are two very different things and most people preach that notation, but so few actually seperate the two.

From a subby male's point of view, whatever happens between two consenting adults is their business. If the domme wants to sleep with her sub, that is her right and perogitive. Does it make her less of a domme? No. There is no specific way a woman is supposed to be a domme. Does it make her less of a domme if she wants to give her sub a blow job? No. It is a conscious choice that she makes. But to those who are not careful, I feel it can throw the whole dynamics of D/s and play outta whack. The sub starts expecting sex instead of craving her dominance.

I think it is completely up to the domme whether to sleep with her sub or not, but she does it at the risk of possibly losing the dominant aura in her sub's eyes. He, therefore, starts looking at her as something he can "bone" anytime he wants instead of looking at her as his domme. Not all male subs do that, just the ones that think kinky sex is domination. Just my opinion, I could be wrong.

I'm sure you're a nice guy at heart, joanus, but I think quite a few dommes are going to roll their eyes at the way the post was written, not because of the topic. Once again, just my opinion.

< Message edited by rubberpet -- 11/13/2007 5:40:01 AM >

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(in reply to joanus)

Post #: 15

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/13/2007 6:10:03 AM

Baroque

Posts: 38
Status: offline

"Get laid"

ROTFL

Other than that, which gets you no where - I DO - DO my boys.
Cute? Yep. A fuck boy? I'd use you. I want full sex and dislike males who cannot perform.

It is your frat boy verbalization that is getting in the way of fullfillment.

(in reply to rubberpet)

Post #: 16

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/13/2007 6:25:14 AM

ItalianSMistress

Posts: 427
Joined: 1/19/2007
From: Niagara Region Ontario Canada
Status: offline

This was an interesting thread to read. I did not realize that so many Dommes did have sex with their boys, personally I have never. I have always looked at it as too aggressive for a slave to fuck their Owner. I dont see anything wrong with it, if the Domme wants it, she has every right to take it, I just did not think it happened so often. Its not that I find it Undomme like by the women, its more that I find it unslave like for the males.

I wonder if it has anything to do with this:

I prefer slaves that are very very submissive and docile, so, having sex with Me would not even be something that they would desire to do, bc like I said, its too aggressive an act for them. I know that some Dommes prefer a slave with a bit of spice, one that likes to show some resistance, so perhaps this is the type of slave that type of Domme would have sex with. Then again that could be My own twisted mind

_____________________________

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"Dominance is the ability to create a hunger in someone that's so strong they will do anything, anytime, anywhere just to please you."

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(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

Post #: 17

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/13/2007 6:36:46 AM

Baroque

Posts: 38
Status: offline

Hello Italian Governess

I can answer your question, but I may be a minority in the realm of female satisfaction.
Personally, my physical desire is best fullfilled by intercourse. A good fucking.
( Please excuse my raw language) BUT, even if I place him on top - he is not to be fucking me.

Best to you

(in reply to ItalianSMistress)

Post #: 18

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/13/2007 7:13:40 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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See, I'm actually a very prudish person.

I don't believe in an exchange of body fluids (or the potential of it) unless there is love involved.

Second, I don't believe in playing the odds when it comes to pregnancy so I don't do intercourse at all because we do not want children.

So if sex is only intercourse, then I've only done that consensually with two men in my entire life -- non-consensually would raise that number to 3.

If sex is any activity where you could exchange body fluid even without risk of pregnancy then the numbers are higher but each of those men I loved and I believe loved me.

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And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to joanus)

Post #: 19

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/13/2007 7:33:03 AM

Baroque

Posts: 38
Status: offline

This is interesting.
Thank you Tammy Jo.

Your take is another point.
While I may not be as conservative in this area as you, I do not do first meets - no where near.

Oh no. Anyone who I would have sex with has to be known, trusted and wear protection.

( joanus' hopes seem to be getting slimmer)

best -

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 20

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