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RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 11/13/2007 1:02:36 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline 		Tell your brother sub/clients who have NO qualms about engaging the services of a professional domina for recreational/entertainment purposes to stop creating the vacuum in which the profession can survive. If the demand was not there, the pros would dry up in a heartbeat.  Not even the friggin internet, free porn and BDSM on every block (mainstreaming kink, munches, retail fetish boutiques, kink on tv a la Lady Heather, et al) could manage that feat.

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Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to cyberdude611)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 11/13/2007 1:14:09 PM   
catleggs


Posts: 31
Joined: 10/24/2006
From: Gravesend, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611

quote:

ORIGINAL: catleggs

To be successful in any business you have to consider supply and demand.  Every professional does it, thats part of how they gage their worth, value, etc.
There are professional male doms, not as many, true, but then again you have to look at the demand.



Since when did BDSM become a business? I thought it was a "lifestyle." Am I wrong?

The route you are going is bordering prostitution. Just because you dont have intercourse with your clients doesnt mean that it isn't prostitution. Hookers that only give handjobs arnt having sex either yet if they are getting paid for getting the guy off....guess what...that's prostitution.

Straight from Webster's Dictionary on defining "Prostitution.":
1. The act or practice of engaging in sex acts for hire.
2. The act or an instance of offering or devoting one's talent to an unworthy use or cause.

Notice it says nothing about intercourse....

Now I'm not bashing your choice. It's your life and you can live it how you wish. I couldnt care less what you choose to do. But lets call a duck a duck... You are charging a guy $300 an hour or more to cater to his sexual fetishes. What do you think the average person in society is going to call that?


Dude,
You are very wrong, for some it is a business, for some it is a lifestyle.  No need to try and throw barbs at peoples choices.
Frankly I don't care what you call what I do, call it fishing for all I care.  The fact of the matter is, there IS a demand for what I do, always has been, always will be.
You're opinion isn't going to change that one iota. So, buck up and just get use to the fact that there are those of us out there that will make it a business if we see the need and demand.


_____________________________

"I only have 'yes' men around me. Who needs 'no' men?" - Mae West

(in reply to cyberdude611)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 11/13/2007 2:14:49 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611

Well, obviously everyone has a different opinion on this...

I just feel as though money cheapens the whole thing and has attracted people to this that otherwise would have nothing to do with it.

Almost like paying someone to be your best friend.


Well prositution itself isnt illegal, at least here in the UK. Since it`s more of a moral issue, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Personally i dont see being a Pro Domme as prostitution, no more than i see being a stripper or a lap dancer as prostitution. Sure all three are something that is sexually exciting, but its still not sex.

What about if a guy wants to try BDSM, and visit someone who has all the equipment, and more importantly the knowledge of how to use it. Is this really so wrong. What about the women who just want a submissive to be a glorified servant,  without having to give much input into the relationship ? The ones who lead guys on with the promise of a session once x y or z is finished, but the day never arrives ? At least with  a Pro Domme everyone knows where they stand. What about the married guy who wants to experience BDSM yet not actually be submissive, or have to leave his wife ?

It may not be for you, but for some people it serves a valuable outlet.

(in reply to cyberdude611)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 11/13/2007 3:26:39 PM   
beeble


Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

cyberdude61 wrote: As for the artist, actor, athlete, painter analogy... I dont buy it. That's a talent or a skill.

So is sticking your foot that far in your mouth without gagging.

< Message edited by beeble -- 11/13/2007 3:45:06 PM >

(in reply to cyberdude611)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 11/13/2007 3:40:18 PM   
beeble


Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

Searcher38 wrote: I was born to financially dominate. I'd expound on this but I hear my spaceship calling me.

So, how many E-mails did you get from desperate guys hoping your alien friends would anally probe them?

(in reply to Searcher38)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 11/13/2007 4:14:42 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
I appreciate your input. My threadline was a digression from the OP and more my own personal dissent to Aakasha's sweeping, inaccurate generalization.

The craigslist comparision is not meant to offer a matching parallel example. It offers another venue for the sorting process between the bonafide and real & the misleading and false.

I'm not going to argue the numbers issue again, because there is no hard data to reference --- but the evidence I see suggests a pronounced demographic difference.

I know there is a weasel factor in play in all human relations --- but to me that's a human factor --- not an inimical malesub one. For instance its quite common for clients in my own business to no-show and jerk me around from time to time. I try to guard against it, I have developed my antennae about it ---- but its just a hard part of my own business landscape.

Generally I try to avoid making sweeping judgments about groups of people based on individual bad experiences. Also, I just let the disappointments go --- rumination on them is unproductive and pointless.

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 11/13/2007 4:27:19 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611

Well, obviously everyone has a different opinion on this...

I just feel as though money cheapens the whole thing and has attracted people to this that otherwise would have nothing to do with it.

Almost like paying someone to be your best friend.


Cheapens what?

It isn't like every person has some sort of connection with everyone they play with. Just like vanilla-land there are quickies, one-night stands and meaningless sex/scenes. Pro dommes are also a great way for people to figure out what they like and dislike without having to worry about pleasing their owner or impressing anybody. They fill a need - when the need goes away they will too.

If you are only interested in a connection, that is awesome. Don't pay.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to cyberdude611)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 11/13/2007 5:00:25 PM   
Action


Posts: 260
Joined: 8/19/2005
From: Cali
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

Generally I try to avoid making sweeping judgments about groups of people based on individual bad experiences. Also, I just let the disappointments go --- rumination on them is unproductive and pointless.


This last little bit is very well said, and I get a bit more how you mean with your previous argument.


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The only ones for me are the mad ones....who burn burn burn like fabulous roman candles. -Jack Kerouac

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 11/13/2007 5:12:07 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		Ask yourself why  men are so willing to pay for domination and you will have your answer.

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I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to wankerforuse)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 11/13/2007 5:12:33 PM   
Gothbytch


Posts: 5
Joined: 1/7/2006
Status: offline 		cyberdude..lol not sure where you get your info from,but to quote the ilustrious and well known Midori,"When the hell did kink become a lifestyle" ????? its a good question care to answer?

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 12/4/2007 3:06:20 PM   
missbdp


Posts: 8
Joined: 12/2/2007
Status: offline 		I have done domination for both pleasure and professionally. I have decided to go back into it professionally because I love the lifestyle and I enjoy dominating men on many levels. The reality is if you have more than one or two submissives you play with exclusively the cost of domination can be quite an expensive hobby.

I am into medical fetish and the supplies and instruments and other related things you need to do a medical scene on someone is not cheap. Not to mention the fact I must also maintain the items and sterilize them so you don't end up going to the real dr. after playing with a fetish dr. I also do procedures that many dommes won't do, and learning the procedures required time and some cost on some levels for me to learn these things. Then there is the time I spend with my patient, fulfilling HIS fantasy.

We are actually providing a service, and yes I think it is ABSOLUTELY fair to expect compensation for what we do.


That is my 2 cents on why we charge for sessions...

(in reply to Najakcharmer)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 12/4/2007 4:05:16 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy
A high percentage of malesubs are "losers" because the numbers dictate about a 50-70% failure rate out of the gate. Given this demographic, I don't see a need to pile on about them and their horrible attitudes and losing personalities. This is otherwise known as "blaming the victim."


Define "them".  The people I'm piling on *are* ill behaved, bad mannered, rude, selfish, aggressive assholes.  If the foo shits, eh?  Have you ever read a sampling of the typical emails a femdom profile gets - even one that says "friends only, please no propositions"?  Try it sometime.  You'll want some bleach for your eyeballs afterward.

Note that I'm definitely not saying that all male subs who have not yet found a domme fit this category - only that quite a few of the men who email dommes on this site do behave that poorly.  There are many very decent, pleasant and polite male subs who haven't yet hooked up with a domme, but it's not because they have a bad attitude or a losing personality.  For them it's just the odds, and they don't deserve any blame for it. 

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 12/4/2007 4:10:22 PM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer
Have you ever read a sampling of the typical emails a femdom profile gets - even one that says "friends only, please no propositions"?  Try it sometime.  You'll want some bleach for your eyeballs afterward.


Hee hee.  No doubt.  Although my favorite this week consisted of one perfect line.

"My balls.  Removed.  Interested?"

Literally had me rolling...

(in reply to Najakcharmer)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 12/4/2007 5:04:07 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline 		Short, concise and to the point anyhow.  Not sure how so many men miss the fact that sexual organs are just not that interesting to most women when they're a random stranger's body parts and not attached to someone who has impressed us with his wit, charm, personality and general worthiness as a human being whom we would like to get to know and play with. 

C'mon guys.  Impress me.  Describe how you built your RPG character or campaign world setting if gaming is the vanilla hobby we share, talk about how you plan your reps, sets and supersets if you're also into weight lifting, offer to trade recipes if cooking is our mutual interest, or talk about your favorite sc-fi and fantasy books.   Hell, even if we don't share a specific real world, non kinky interest, you can talk about whatever yours are and maybe I'll learn something.  But please no penis pics, no offers of total and immediate submission, no freaking sex or kink talk at all until AFTER we've established that I actually like you enough to be interested in seeing your wabbly bits.  Whipping it out before then is rude, and is a guaranteed direct route to my ignore/delete/block box.

Why do women go pro?  Because of the number of men who lack either the interest or the social skills at real relationship building with non pro dommes.  If you're going to demand a domme's time and energy without being the least bit willing to give her what she wants in return - and the majority of offers I get on this site do fall into that category - then yes, you need to pay a pro.  I don't think that what I want is at all unreasonable or unrealistic, but it's fairly rare for me to come across a "submissive" who is actually willing to give it to me.  Ergo I'm very grateful for the existence of pro dommes who are willing to give these demanding men what they want and keep them the hell out of my inbox. 

(in reply to ShaktiSama)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 12/4/2007 6:40:07 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

Why do women go pro?  Because of the number of men who lack either the interest or the social skills at real relationship building with non pro dommes.  If you're going to demand a domme's time and energy without being the least bit willing to give her what she wants in return - and the majority of offers I get on this site do fall into that category - then yes, you need to pay a pro.  I don't think that what I want is at all unreasonable or unrealistic, but it's fairly rare for me to come across a "submissive" who is actually willing to give it to me.  Ergo I'm very grateful for the existence of pro dommes who are willing to give these demanding men what they want and keep them the hell out of my inbox. 



Very well put.  But I also think it's fair to state that when both parties are up front about what the transaction is about, it's not unfair to either party.   Some submissive men do not have the time, energy or desire to put in the emotional effort it takes to connect with a femdom in order to satisfy her needs.  That's fine.

It works the other way around, too.  Granted, less, maybe, but who knows?  I am a femdom that would love it if there was a market for pro male submissives.  There are times when *I* also don't want to be responsible to put forth the effort to nurture or grow a relationship; I want a hot man I can objectify, use, and know he will go away when it is done and not ask me for anything in return.  That's lovely!  And, I don't want to have to worry about the give and take that is part of responsible play; I just want to take.  I would sometimes rather hand over cash than worry about satisfying his needs.  If both parties are happy with that, who's to complain?

Akasha


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(in reply to Najakcharmer)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 12/4/2007 6:42:45 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		OP: what makes you think they don't do it for the love of it outside of their business lives?  I assume they do it for money for the same reason we all do things for money....uh..to have money.  I doubt the men going to them are looking for an LTR, and if they are satisfied with it, what is the problem?  Whether it is acting or not, if it's acceptable to both parties and not illegal, why do you care?

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to wankerforuse)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 12/4/2007 9:07:39 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Action
IN all that time Im only now with ONE slave who's been tried and true. So dosn't the opinion of most of these ladies say there are more players then subs


I think the data you reference does not definitively demonstrate that there are more players than subs but that there are more players than genuine subs sending emails ;-)

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 12/4/2007 10:03:14 PM >

(in reply to Action)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 12/4/2007 9:34:30 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer
Why do women go pro?  Because of the number of men who lack either the interest or the social skills at real relationship building with non pro dommes.  If you're going to demand a domme's time and energy without being the least bit willing to give her what she wants in return - and the majority of offers I get on this site do fall into that category - then yes, you need to pay a pro.


If you mean that women go pro because the behavior of some men you describe creates a demand or income opportunity, and some women choose to pursue this potential for income, fair enough.

If you mean that women go pro because they are disappointed by behavior of men and have no other choice, I disagree. I think the decision to go pro is a choice, not a necessity created by men.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to Najakcharmer)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 12/4/2007 9:38:45 PM   
MsSaskia


Posts: 415
Joined: 9/9/2004
From: Denver
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLegs
Wanker, the truth of the matter is we have a sliding scale based on how much we like you.   You have moved yourself to the expensive end of that scale.


roflmao - SO many times I've wanted to charge asshole tax. 

(in reply to LadyLegs)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Just out of interest why do you ladies dominate for... - 12/4/2007 9:42:52 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora
Tell your brother sub/clients who have NO qualms about engaging the services of a professional domina for recreational/entertainment purposes to stop creating the vacuum in which the profession can survive.


I think professional domination serves a useful purpose and there is not a need to quell it.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 80
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