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RE: Does older mean wiser? - 12/31/2007 11:26:44 AM

sexyred1

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I will add that being older can make you wiser but it can also mean that you just have been making the same mistakes longer.

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RE: Does older mean wiser? - 12/31/2007 11:55:40 AM

LotusSong

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetcreeangel

I was wondering for the Older Doms out there...........does older make You wiser or are You still learning different aspects of the lifestyle?Does life-experince over ride a newbie or some one who has been in say 5+ years verses say 16+?
basically what i am trying to say with-out meaning disrepect of any kind just because You as a Dom who has years of experince worth more then a Dom that has only say -4 years of experince?
Thank-You for taking the time to read my post and answering it i look forward to reading any one's answers

Education makes you smart.. experience makes you wise.

.. but no matter what answers you will recieve ... you won't know until you get there (older that is)

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RE: Does older mean wiser? - 12/31/2007 1:39:28 PM

LotusSong

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quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert

I think that wisdom does improve with age, but it is all relative to the individual -- if folks are idiots at 20, they ought to graduate to being as "wise" as morons by the time they are 50.

Needless to say, this is something I have learned over the years. When I was 20 I thought I kenw it all, but I know a few more things now.

I know I wish I was 17 again. I knew it ALL back then!

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RE: Does older mean wiser? - 12/31/2007 1:50:23 PM

dogobedience

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The amount of time you have done something has absolutely no bearing on your ability to do it. My father was in the military for 31+ years, he would often speak of levels of performance and time necessary to achieve a desired result. Some do it quicker than others, some never do it.

He told me something one day that compared men with 20 years in the service. Many learned for the first few years and simply repeated that for their duration in the military.They moved up, but were never in the top rung. Then he spoke of the few who took it upon themselves to continue to learn, train, and constantly seek out new ideas. They were the elite, my dad is one of them.............and he trained me to constantly push the envelop and cause discomfort and GROW.

As it pertains to this lifestyle, most people do not see the difference between one highly skilled or a newbie dom with a borrowed whip, so to speak. One day with a skilled and truly experienced dom and you will never forget it and challenge others who think to call themselves a master.

To quit learning and think you have mastered it all, is the beginning of the end of your development.

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RE: Does older mean wiser? - 12/31/2007 2:22:31 PM

came4U

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quote:

They were the elite, my dad is one of them.....

hmmmm, wondering, is your Dad single????

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RE: Does older mean wiser? - 12/31/2007 2:35:15 PM

dogobedience

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My parents have been married over 50 years now. I find it intesesting to this day how an Armenian alpha male married a Japanese HYPER alpha female. My mother has to win and crush at all costs even to this day! She is rentless in her drive to succeed, my father is simply happy and content and forever a leader.I guess I had no options but to lead. My parents lead without effort and I believe they trained me and my sister to do the same.

One more thought, to be good at something usually takes only a couple of years to obtain a top level . BUT that only happens with agressive practice and coaching.

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RE: Does older mean wiser? - 12/31/2007 3:29:31 PM

cankles

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quote:

ORIGINAL: dogobedience

My parents have been married over 50 years now. I find it intesesting to this day how an Armenian alpha male married a Japanese HYPER alpha female. My mother has to win and crush at all costs even to this day! She is rentless in her drive to succeed, my father is simply happy and content and forever a leader.I guess I had no options but to lead. My parents lead without effort and I believe they trained me and my sister to do the same.

One more thought, to be good at something usually takes only a couple of years to obtain a top level . BUT that only happens with agressive practice and coaching.

you need a real drive to excel to get that much better at something in such a short span of time. some people have that mentality, some don't. you can practice constantly, but if it's not meaningful practice and you're just going thru the motions, you won't make a lot of progress.

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RE: Does older mean wiser? - 12/31/2007 3:31:47 PM

Phin

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fast reply (only reading the OP)

with age and experience comes a higher potential for wisdom, but one is not required for the other.

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RE: Does older mean wiser? - 1/1/2008 4:47:41 AM

dogobedience

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Agreeded.

However if you are going to attempt to be good at something, then why not work as hard as possible to reach your goal. I know many do not give their maximum effort in their daily lives. WHY NOT?!

I must say this, it only takes a few years to be good at this lifestyle, but that is with a living breathing partner and not cyberfantasy role play, etc. So for many that could mean 3-10 or more years depending on IF they ever have real face to face contact. The finer points take a lifetime........

In this lifestyle is takes very little effort to "appear" to have some skills or abilities. Especially since the bottom wants it as bad as you want it. It is like taking a test and the bottom is giving you ALL the answers. It is usually centered around some dominate sex act and the surroundings of that.

Too bad for all those bottoms who never taste real domination. Too bad for all the tops who never have to take the time to learn the many ways to TAKE someone. Domination is much more than sex. It is the true control and absolute power over another. That does not mean whips and chains, it means the TAKING of anothers mind and soul.

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RE: Does older mean wiser? - 7/21/2008 4:57:21 PM

MidMichCowboy

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While it would be to my benefit to say .... YES, I can't. Experience on it's own doesn't make anyone wiser. There are times when new thinking ends up with wisdom that others haven't found.
I am wiser because I've chosen to learn from mistakes I've made. I've also learned not to judge wisdom by age or experience, but by learning what the person has to say and why they say it.

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RE: Does older mean wiser? - 7/21/2008 5:35:26 PM

InsaenPleasures

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One other thing to remember is that even someone who has been in the lifestyle for a long time may have no real practical experience. I do not consider them fakes, because we all do not have the same opportunities even if we read up on every subject and have real discussions. Some people are theoretical and thats fine, just be aware that their real experience is rather limited.

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RE: Does older mean wiser? - 7/21/2008 5:50:50 PM

Asmodeus

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When I first got involvd in the lifestyleI was in my early 20's. Much like my experience in other parts of my life, people often commented that I was a quick study and that I was able to quickly grasp and understand concepts that elude some folks for years; that I had an ability to teach and explain that gave me the appearence of a wisdom that belied my actual age.

Truth be told, I didn't really begin to fully understand myself until I was well into my 30's. As has been said earlier in the thread; all other things being equal, age brings wisdom.

But I would say that wisdom comes from understanding yourself. And there are plenty of knowledgable people who lack that type of wisdom. Age also brings the benefit of perspective as well as the understanding, and accepting, that other people need to learn from their mistakes. And while you can lesson the imapct of those mistakes on those you care about, you need to allow them to learn their own lessons.

< Message edited by Asmodeus -- 7/21/2008 5:51:25 PM >

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RE: Does older mean wiser? - 7/21/2008 6:04:34 PM

DomDolf

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Only read OP:

Age is not a sole factor nor is years of experience. There are so many factors involved that it would be hard to provide an algorithm that encompasses all possibilities. Everything from type and depth of all the experiences a person has, intelligence, emotional factors, direct lifestyle oriented training, educational factors and exposure to the experienced and their shared knowledge. Some factors carry more weight than others as I'm sure you can understand.

Dolf

To be a little more clear and slightly OT, I do not count online experience as experience. Until you have the responsibility to someone on a constant and VERY sustained basis I consider it a form of playing for the time you are involved with the other person.

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RE: Does older mean wiser? - 7/22/2008 4:18:43 AM

Huntertn

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Older may not make us wiser..However, we do have a cover of experience that can let us Know when we f**k up that we can change it . And usually we can afford to laugh at our mistakes..meaning we are usually a bit more understanding....but better maybe not better just more experienced in life..and you just can't discount that. Being young doesn't make you a better person either

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RE: Does older mean wiser? - 7/22/2008 7:54:41 AM

greenearth21

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an older, wise dom once responded to my comment regarding his wisdom by saying "age masquerades itself as wisdom" or somethign to that effect.
I still think age offers wisdom due to life experiences and with that, someone is more aware and settled/content with their preferences and such. I still think a 90 year old still has something to learn and continues on their path on wisdom

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RE: Does older mean wiser? - 7/22/2008 7:57:15 AM

Leatherist

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When I was 17 I knew everything.

The older I get, the less I really know. The journey to wisdom stops when your breath does.

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RE: Does older mean wiser? - 7/22/2008 8:34:30 AM

subtee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetcreeangel

does older make You wiser or are You still learning different aspects of the lifestyle?

[Snipped]

I don't think these are mutually exclusive. I also believe that you'd have to try pretty hard to not garner wisdom just by being alive; therefore, the more time spent alive, generally speaking, the more wisdom you have. The thing is, it seems to me, the wisdom we each achieve is individual and singular to our own experiences. We don't all become wise in all aspects of everything.

Except for Ron.

--Subtee, an old broad

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RE: Does older mean wiser? - 7/22/2008 8:36:02 AM

uninterested5

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Let's put it this way: I've played banjo for 12 years and I suck at it.

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RE: Does older mean wiser? - 7/22/2008 8:57:09 AM

RapierFugue

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quote:

ORIGINAL: uninterested5

Let's put it this way: I've played banjo for 12 years and I suck at it.

heh.

What's the old one? "When I was 17, my dad knew NOTHING.

... when I reached 21, I was amazed how much he'd learnt in 4 years".

Age & experience helps, in BDSM as in most cerebral endeavours. But is it a guarantee of wisdom? Or even competency? No, it isn't.

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RE: Does older mean wiser? - 7/22/2008 9:18:13 AM

subtee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: uninterested5

Let's put it this way: I've played banjo for 12 years and I suck at it.

Yes, but see, you probably fucking hated that bullshit banjo which probably was a fucking ukelele just labeling itself a bullshit banjo, overcompensating for some pissed off residual bullshit fucking anger shit.

Tee hee

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