Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation - 11/18/2007 7:08:29 PM   
Tigrita


Posts: 484
Joined: 8/16/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Whoops, was trying to start that thread, and accidentally posted here again =P

< Message edited by Tigrita -- 11/18/2007 7:09:06 PM >

_____________________________

~ Tigrita

There is no right path, only the path you take.

Success is making life happen, versus just letting life happen to you.

"Many of the things I enjoy, I enjoy because I don't enjoy them." - Charlotte

(in reply to Sirsinini)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation - 11/18/2007 7:24:47 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		I feel I do not need any one to give me value or to devalue me..As with any developing relationship, it will depend on the chemistry and my comfort level going into it or not...But I was just here thinking..(and that is a very dangerous thing..:0)...anyway..Maybe even if there is a good chemistry working and you have had some verbal interactions before the meet, but yet you have the Dominant wait for say, a couple of times, not to necessarily jump through hoops mind you, but to see how he reacts to the delay????Sometimes reactions give you a good idea of their priorities, mindset, attitude etc..humm..Tempting

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to Tigrita)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation - 11/19/2007 3:56:52 AM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline 		i "met" Daddy at the end of feb, first part of march.  he and i talked online for a few weeks, had a week of hour long telephone conversations for a week, emailed like it was going out of style...

and yep, had sex the first time we met in person.  i dont think it was a mistake, and neither did he.  yes, absolutely you can have sex too soon in a relationship, and some might devalue you (female OR male) for it.  but are those people who judge you people you want in charge of your life and self esteem?

kitten

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation - 11/19/2007 5:30:19 PM   
subspace08


Posts: 24
Joined: 11/15/2007
Status: offline 		It is never just sex with me If I slept with a guy and expecially if he spanked me or something it is the same as giving my heart and soul away. I can't trust my emotional welbeing to someone I just met

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation - 11/19/2007 6:35:58 PM   
LadyLegs


Posts: 176
Status: offline 		how could it be that the woman has had sex "too soon" and the man has not?  Is it that he finishes last and those 3 seconds make all the difference?  I am so confused by this question.

(in reply to bbwdommelilith)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation - 11/19/2007 8:22:20 PM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline 		i believe it's been proven that under the current market conditions, there is actually a 12% GAIN in retail value for a female. So go ahead, fuck him blue! 

(in reply to LadyLegs)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation - 11/19/2007 8:33:35 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		It depends on how you see sex.

I see it as fun-not a sacred institution that can be "devalued." But then again- I view placing values on acts-rather than intents...........as being of importance.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to bbwdommelilith)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation - 11/19/2007 9:32:55 PM   
brightspot


Posts: 3052
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bbwdommelilith

    It seems that in the vanilla world, men often devalue a female if she has sex "too soon". Is this dynamic also present among those into BDSM?
 
Lilith


Hummm...Experiencing the lesbian world I live in, I don't think we known of "too soon"  and no I have never been or felt devalued afterwards, unless that was the plan .
 
Missy.


_____________________________

"Comedy is NOT Pretty!" ~Peter Nelson

But..."May at Least One person have a sense of Humor!" ~KML.

http://360.yahoo.com/my_profile-TD4TwEw8crWS3GHFDcs_DK1rHmW6Dq_E;_ylt=Av2PfG9gH0wkQrMPivuMCivGAOJ3

(in reply to bbwdommelilith)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation - 11/19/2007 10:09:33 PM   
brightspot


Posts: 3052
Status: offline 		Love those "Left Eye" words, it cool like that!
 
Missy.

_____________________________

"Comedy is NOT Pretty!" ~Peter Nelson

But..."May at Least One person have a sense of Humor!" ~KML.

http://360.yahoo.com/my_profile-TD4TwEw8crWS3GHFDcs_DK1rHmW6Dq_E;_ylt=Av2PfG9gH0wkQrMPivuMCivGAOJ3

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation - 11/19/2007 11:16:44 PM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline 		It helps to establish up front that the girl has not a single bit of value or importance to you anyway until she changes that equation ^_^

Or to put it in less insulting terms, that *neither* of you have anything to lose in face value by a good fvck.  Or by not having one.  And that therefore, chemistry rules, and for me personally, if I'm not getting laid immediately upon deciding that's what I want, then I am calling up someone who will be happier about the idea.  No loss for anyone concerned, and a gain for the callee, unless the original girl wanted to keep me around; but I made that clear from the beginning, so I can feel sorry for her but I won't let that impede my day.  "Waiting" for her to make up her mind and hovering is ultimately crueller for both parties.

Then again, cruelty can be its own reward.  Meh.  I don't have the patience for that flavor, though.

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to brightspot)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation - 11/28/2007 9:20:27 PM   
Darkhaven80


Posts: 76
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline 		I don't think it should matter, and it hasn't seemed to with people I've been with, yet usually if I give in too soon I sometimes regret it later and don't feel right. It's fun to build a little anticipation and know the person.

(in reply to slaveofKaos)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation - 11/28/2007 9:58:09 PM   
subalexsir


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline 		I have to feel a strong attraction to someone mentally before the physical side can really take off - and when the two are good - boy they are good!!
Just do what feels right and dont bow to pressure to do what feels wrong.

(in reply to slaveofKaos)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation - 11/30/2007 7:19:02 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		lilith,

truely you jest with that question!

CP

(in reply to bbwdommelilith)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation - 11/30/2007 11:11:33 AM   
NinjaProphet


Posts: 14
Joined: 12/11/2006
Status: offline 		There is no such thing as "too soon".........

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 74
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: sex "too soon" and devaluation Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094