RE: Do you keep your kink a secret?

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RumpusParable -> RE: Do you keep your kink a secret? (11/25/2007 1:27:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cyberdude611 In other words do you fear a backlash if people found out about your interest in bdsm? Does your family know? Your boss? Neighbors? If you are single, how soon do your declare your interests to potential partners? I am "out" about it and no, I don't fear any backlash from others when it comes up for the first time. My family knows, friends and neighbors (neighbors in the past, I mean, not currently. I've not more than waved at them 2 times... I'm not a real neighborly sort). I'm not running around with a big sign yelling "I <3 BDSM!!!" but as it is a part of my life, relationships and doings it comes up in normal conversation once in a while and I talk about it like anything else in my life, neither downplaying it nor up-playing it.

sexyone4you -> RE: Do you keep your kink a secret? (11/25/2007 4:01:03 PM)
I am open about it with people who are close to me. I don't use it as an opening remark when meeting someone, but it's hard to hide from anyone who visits my home. No one was very surprised at my being in the lifestyle, only the side of the whip I'm on.

yourMissTress -> RE: Do you keep your kink a secret? (11/25/2007 4:29:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 quote: ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia I've never felt the need to tell anyone that I'm a Domme. I've never felt the need to tell anyone I fancy Jean Luc Picard in Star Trek either. Why would I? rofl...JLP is hot. I agree. I don't tell people and I can't imagine a context where it would be appropriate to put them in the position to do so. Hell, even when I was vanilla I rarely talked about my sex life with others, it's just not something I do. Totally off topic... WTF is it with Jean Luc Picard???? I have heard so many of my girlfriends saying things like this and I JUST DON'T GET IT!!!! Someone please explain it to me... in email so as not to hijick this thread.

yourMissTress -> RE: Do you keep your kink a secret? (11/25/2007 4:51:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cyberdude611 In other words do you fear a backlash if people found out about your interest in bdsm? Does your family know? Your boss? Neighbors? If you are single, how soon do your declare your interests to potential partners? There seems to always be different answers to this... Some people are wide open about it. Others don't even tell their bf/gf of their interest. Most people who know me, and I mean the people who I talk with on a personal level and know more about me than my name, age, marital status, and number of children, know that I am of an alternative persuasion in more ways than one. They don't know specific details. My boss knows, only because we are friends. All of my close friends know, if they didn't how could they be my close friends? My family, nope, none of their damned business what goes on in my bedroom. I don't want to know what goes on in theirs either EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!! My neighbors may have heard an occasional pop, thump or snap. Lately I try to schedule play dates in my home that coincide with my neighbors' prayer group on Tuesday nights, it's working out fabulously! But no, I've felt no need to make any announcement to the neighborhood. Potential partners wouldn't be potential partners if they didn't know about my interests and share them. I don't have a billboard, I don't make it an issue with anyone, but I don't deny it or hide it either.

RumpusParable -> RE: Do you keep your kink a secret? (11/25/2007 4:59:57 PM)
Off-topic, but I too have the JLP thing... but it's really just a Patrick Stewart thing in general, as I find him catching in other roles, too. For me it's a personal charisma attraction, he just has a good way of moving and feel to his personality that carries over into his characters.

dom4sub86 -> RE: Do you keep your kink a secret? (3/21/2008 1:54:07 PM)
I havent told anyone in my vanilla life about this one. I know my family and friends are very open people. I just dont want them to change how they think of me. I dont want them to always think about this lifestyle when I talk to them.

vampchick88 -> RE: Do you keep your kink a secret? (3/21/2008 7:27:18 PM)
I keep it discrete due to many factors, my parents not having a stroke is one. If they ask questions about certain things I try to answer in a non-terrifying manner. Most of my long term friends know and have asked lots of questions which I openly answered but gave them a warning be careful what you ask. Well of course my b/f knows and is pulling me more and more into the rubber fetish than I ever thought could happen. He encourages me to openly express myself and show my individuality. He's been a great help at making me worse than I already and I couldn't be happier.~Lorelei

MontrealPhoenix -> RE: Do you keep your kink a secret? (3/21/2008 8:07:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IdiotMale Guess I should take those giant billboards down. Oh those are yours! Niiiiice artwork! [:D] OP why would anyone talk about their kink with 'nilla ppl in their lives. It's not like it's going to come up in conversation. Noone in my 'nilla life knows about my kinky life and i like it that way. Phoenix

BitaTruble -> RE: Do you keep your kink a secret? (3/21/2008 8:22:34 PM)
... ah crap.. I didn't realize this was a bumped thread. [sm=goodnight.gif]

stella41b -> RE: Do you keep your kink a secret? (3/21/2008 8:34:41 PM)
I don't have much choice, but I'm very discreet about it too, I don't make a big issue out of it. For example not many people know what I get up to with strange men at bus stops late at night when I... .. say, isn't this an old thread rehashed?

Daddyslilpookie -> RE: Do you keep your kink a secret? (3/21/2008 8:42:02 PM)
Same here the ones who know about it are my closest friends and my mom. My dad knows kind of but doesn't get it and that's a good thing lol

greenearth21 -> RE: Do you keep your kink a secret? (3/21/2008 8:43:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cyberdude611 In other words do you fear a backlash if people found out about your interest in bdsm? Does your family know? Your boss? Neighbors? If you are single, how soon do your declare your interests to potential partners? There seems to always be different answers to this... Some people are wide open about it. Others don't even tell their bf/gf of their interest. I dont necessarily keep it a secret but I do not parade it around. I'm pretty happy with my interest in this sort of lifestyle and if someone was to ask, I'd let them know. At times when talk to my girlfriends...theres always a major difference in waht we want in a potential relationship...i.e: I want a strong, respectful dominant man who would run the relationship (though i know it takes two) and they all want a strong, respectful man who is an equal opportunity lover and not dominant. My family does not know much about my sexual life...its one of those things that we just never talked about. Although my mother does believe in the (w/o being politically correct) old ways of a relationship my guess is she has some idea that thats what I seek as well. My neighbors who are also friends do know about my preference...hey when they are also your drinking buddies...things go out the window...what can i say? As far as potential partners in the 'vanilla' world...I dont really have much of an interest besides sexual in a vanilla man...so...no need to get into specifics. Partners in this world...already have a good idea.

Real_Trouble -> RE: Do you keep your kink a secret? (3/21/2008 8:49:56 PM)
In my case, I would say that I do, yes. I don't want it interfering with my professional life (which it very much has the potential to do, sadly), and I certainly don't trust my family with the information, because they are seriously untrustworthy about virtually anything of any importance. Some of my good friends know, and obviously my previous partners, but beyond that, I keep it very quiet. Likewise, I tend to keep my friends from work and my friends from other places quite separate as groups, so that I have at least one block where it is not a major issue.

Leatherist -> RE: Do you keep your kink a secret? (3/21/2008 8:50:16 PM)
Family is pretty much gone. A few friends know, and I'll be moving into a business involving kink in about a year. I don't run down to the local fundie church and shout it to the congregation.[;)]

justt13 -> RE: Do you keep your kink a secret? (3/21/2008 8:51:11 PM)
My family and friends know I love being a sexual person, but have no idea about how kinky I really am. My ex-bf (non-BDSM friendly) has used my lifestyle as a way to manipulate me whenever he wants to pop out of the dust and mess my life up for a little while. I work with kids for my career, and he is convinced that I would lose my job if my supervisors were to find out about my lifestyle. I really wish I could be more open about my lifestyle...Often times, I feel like I have multiple personalities. It's gotten to the point where I wish I could change careers so I could have more freedom to be who I am.

Leatherist -> RE: Do you keep your kink a secret? (3/21/2008 8:52:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: justt13 My family and friends knows I love being a sexual person, but have no idea about how kinky I really am. My ex-bf (non-BDSM friendly) has used my lifestyle as a way to manipulate me whenever he wants to pop out of the dust and mess my life up for a little while. I work with kids for my career, and he is convinced that I would lose my job if my supervisors were to find out about my lifestyle. I really wish I could be more open about my lifestyle...Often times, I feel like I have multiple personalities. It's gotten to the point where I wish I could change careers so I could have more freedom to be who I am. Why don't you then?

justt13 -> RE: Do you keep your kink a secret? (3/21/2008 8:55:05 PM)
I like what I do though. It's a secure job in a bad economy...but I am working on going back to school to get a doctorate so I can work with college students rather than younger kids.

Leatherist -> RE: Do you keep your kink a secret? (3/21/2008 8:58:04 PM)
Then you are already going there, cool. I'd be careful to keep jerk boy from knowing your timeline. Think of how surprised he will be to find out that his leverage is gone! [;)]

GreedyTop -> RE: Do you keep your kink a secret? (3/21/2008 9:45:57 PM)
My Mom knows. Dad knew. Local cousin knows. Most of my friends know. People at work don't know (well, there was that one incident when I forgot to clear the history on the computer at work, and the sales guy found alt.com in the history... he just laughed and reminded me to clear each day..). If I got outted at work, I'm not sure what would happen. ETA: a few of my mom's friends (also friends of mine) know, because I accidentally sent them email from my non-nilla email..LOL

Misant777 -> RE: Do you keep your kink a secret? (3/21/2008 9:47:42 PM)
My relatives just roll their eyes. My Mother worries about me, especially when I pierce things... or people... I think they think it's a phase.... Which is ok.

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