RE: I seem to care more about your SO than you......

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RE: I seem to care more about your SO than you...... - 8/12/2005 8:38:09 AM

caitlyn

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If the purpose of this thread wasn't to start a pissing match, what was the purpose?

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RE: I seem to care more about your SO than you...... - 8/12/2005 8:39:27 AM

Fidelity

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I see that you forget the medieval catholic church and the Inquisition.

Do you think that the people living under the sway of those institutions were given any choice as to whether to believe,or not? The stake and the torture chamber awaited those who did not.

Tell me that the threat of hell,even in modern times, is not an attempt at mind control?

From my perspective,it's all idiocy. We can agree to disagree- but I know of all too many cults who DO practice both subtle and overt mind control over their followers. After all,why do you think that "'deprogragrammers" were needed to rehabilitate people who were rescued from various religious cults?

It's not paranioa,it's an unfortunate and distasteful reality. That is my opinion on it all,and my last word in this thread on it. Don't expect replies from anything quoted out of this post-period. I will put anyone who does on ignore.

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RE: I seem to care more about your SO than you...... - 8/12/2005 8:40:22 AM

Fidelity

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To discuss motivations for doing the wrong thing. Read the op.

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RE: I seem to care more about your SO than you...... - 8/12/2005 8:46:13 AM

caitlyn

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fidelity

To discuss motivations for doing the wrong thing. Read the op.

Perhaps we can assume that, a) since I'm responding, I probably did read the original post, b) more likely than not, everyone here already knows the motivation for what was done.

The question remains, what was the real reason you posted this? :-)

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RE: I seem to care more about your SO than you...... - 8/12/2005 8:54:24 AM

Fidelity

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I was annoyed.

I did preface that it was merely a rant,and to ignore it if you pleased.

I never FORCED anyone to come in here and begin popping off,did I?

They CHOSE to-so much for emotional self-control.

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RE: I seem to care more about your SO than you...... - 8/12/2005 9:03:03 AM

caitlyn

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fidelity

I was annoyed.

I did preface that it was merely a rant,and to ignore it if you pleased.

I never FORCED anyone to come in here and begin popping off,did I?

They CHOSE to-so much for emotional self-control.

You don't need to be defensive with me

What you do is your business, and you don't have to answer to me. The only person that you are responsible to, is you.

That if course is my whole point.

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RE: I seem to care more about your SO than you...... - 8/12/2005 9:08:18 AM

Fidelity

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Explaining was defensive?

You seemed to be requiring clarification of my intent. I gave it.

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RE: I seem to care more about your SO than you...... - 8/12/2005 9:22:09 AM

Veav

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So anyway, cheating is bad. I think we all agree on that; some of us lean towards "whatever, cheat if you want to, it's not my life you're ruining", some of us towards "stay the fuck out of my life you algae growth", but it's pretty much negative across the board.

Do you think the root cause for cheating these days is personal - c.f. people are schmucks and unwilling to respect the vows they took and the partners they chose?

Or sociological, given the conformist leanings of American culture towards "if you don't get married and do the picket fence thing, you haven't succeeded"? Do people try to initially satisfy an expectation that doesn't truly meet their needs, and as they grow, they start branching out to try and find out what their needs are?

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RE: I seem to care more about your SO than you...... - 8/12/2005 9:49:27 AM

Fidelity

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Smiles,thank you veav,you are a good guy.

I do think people change over time. It's pretty much inevitable,some grow closer,others can grow apart in relationships.

But I still think that no matter what happens,you owe at least yourself the honesty to BE honest. I feel that one's self esteem can suffer greatly over time if one begins to resort to lies and rationalizations.

And that even the worst of sociopaths is going to begin to suffer stress from the constant effort needed to prop up a facade of lies. When this woman initially contacted me,that was about half of what was in the back of my mind-not just an ethical stance-how the hell would I deal with the WORRY,in a bad situation like this?

It didn't take a hell of a long time for me to figure out two things.

1. I already had zero respect for this person-and doubted it would improve from there.

2. I wouldn't be sleeping very well at night-wondering if a pissed-off husband was going to be along with a shotgun to blow my head off.

And the third and most important-my self esteem and sense of honor were going to be trashed. And for WHAT?

NO amount of kinky sex is worth all of that negativity in my life.

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RE: I seem to care more about your SO than you...... - 8/12/2005 10:00:03 AM

ChereeAmoor

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I cannot remember who said it or where I heard it, but it went as follows:

Men get married because they are tired, women because they are curious. They both end up disappointed.

Cynical enough for Ambrose Bierce!!

I cheated and regretted it - because everything has a price, and sometimes, other people pay it, and that is just not the right way to live, for me, anyway.

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RE: I seem to care more about your SO than you...... - 8/12/2005 10:13:44 AM

junkyard

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fidelity
2. I wouldn't be sleeping very well at night-wondering if a pissed-off husband was going to be along with a shotgun to blow my head off.

I once had someone's husband appear at my door and have a long conversation with my SO of the time. When I got home I had to have a REALLY long conversation about how weird it was that such a thing had happened. I wasn't even sleeping with the man's wife, she was just a friend with whom I shared certain hobby interests. My best defense was something like "If I wanted someone else, you know me well enough to know that I would just dump your ass and go fuck whomever I please." Yes, *THAT* she believed, and it finally ended the matter between my partner and I.

I asked the married woman about it and she denied it, but I think I was the victim of one of those things that spouses tell each other to see if they can generate a show of jealousy. Alternatively, she was trying to use me in a game of "let's you and he fight."

Thanks! Bitch.

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RE: I seem to care more about your SO than you...... - 8/12/2005 10:21:51 AM

Fidelity

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Yes Junkyard,I totally grok that game.

Another reason to never indulge a cheater-they bring so much needless drama into one's life. The fucks are never really worth the mindfucks,yanno?

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RE: I seem to care more about your SO than you...... - 8/12/2005 11:01:11 AM

pinkpleasures

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O Fidelty You have NO idea..or maybe You do..don't wish to presume..but the one being cheated on suspends belief for awhile (no matter how briefly) and then the axe falls; the lies are almost as painful as the cheating.

i just do not understand why people do not divorce each other. Apparently there's a huge population of infirm wives who cannot be left and cannot have sex...thus entitling the husband to have sex outside the marriage. This excuse is a lie, too. So he hurts a maximum number of people for a little bit of pleasure...and HEY WATCH DUBLIN i think he's pondscum.

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RE: I seem to care more about your SO than you...... - 8/12/2005 11:07:15 AM

Fidelity

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Pink,please let's not pick on Dublin and exacerbate these issues.

I NEVER directly insulted anyone in this thread. Please refrain from doing the same. I may not always agree with people here-but the last thing I will do is resort to childish mudslinging.

It is beneath my dignity,and I would hope you were better than that.

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RE: I seem to care more about your SO than you...... - 8/12/2005 11:24:10 AM

pinkpleasures

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Sorry, Fidelty; i meant to tease Dublin Switch, who mistakenly attributed the "pondscum" insult to You. It was not meant to insult Dublin Switch at all. The "pondscum" insult is mine! Mine i tell You! <chortles>

i hope You aren't offended, DublinSwitch.

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RE: I seem to care more about your SO than you...... - 8/12/2005 11:27:49 AM

Fidelity

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There is really no need to insult anyone here for simply expressing an opinion. Isn't it rather childish when one has to resort to that?

Please people,I come here for adult discussion,I hate feeling like a playground monitor overseeing a 3rd grade recess.

< Message edited by Fidelity -- 8/12/2005 11:49:17 AM >

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RE: I seem to care more about your SO than you...... - 8/12/2005 12:42:35 PM

Lordandmaster

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You say that "all religions" are "irrational bullshit" and "pure idiocy"--and then you have the nerve to complain that you feel like you're overseeing third-grade recess?

If you don't like the discussion that your rant engendered, you are free to take it somewhere else. You have every right to express your opinions as strongly as you wish, but people who express strong opinions have to get used to disagreement.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fidelity

Please people,I come here for adult discussion,I hate feeling like a playground monitor overseeing a 3rd grade recess.

< Message edited by Lordandmaster -- 8/12/2005 1:09:25 PM >

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RE: I seem to care more about your SO than you...... - 8/12/2005 1:16:54 PM

Fidelity

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I have no problem with disagreement.

I simply see no reason to drop to the level of personal insults over them.

One can agree to disagree without resorting to playground tactics.

Including attempts to browbeat people for HAVING an opinion that differs from your own. Something I have noticed you have a propensity for doing.

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RE: I seem to care more about your SO than you...... - 8/12/2005 1:18:04 PM

pinkpleasures

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O dear..i started another argument. i should not have teased Dublin Switch i guess; i was being a smart ass. Sorry. Fidelty..it's not 3rd grade humor..this is my humorous side...really.

pinkpleasures

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RE: I seem to care more about your SO than you...... - 8/12/2005 1:30:22 PM

Lordandmaster

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Pink, I don't think Fidelity and I are arguing; we're disagreeing. I don't see where I tried to "browbeat" anyone, as he's alleged twice now, but that's how he takes it. (He's getting a little ad hominem, since he's talking about my supposed "propensities," but it's all good. I'm a big boy.)

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