Padriag
Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005 Status: offline
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Oh good, we're back to an actual discussion again. quote:
ORIGINAL: ChereeAmoor I cheated and regretted it - because everything has a price, and sometimes, other people pay it, and that is just not the right way to live, for me, anyway. Yup, life is funny like that. It has its own special way of spanking us when we do really dumb things. It may not happen right away, but sooner or later it will catch up with us. Call it Karma if you like... or just cause and effect. That's not throwing stones, its just an observation of fact. quote:
ORIGINAL: Veav Do you think the root cause for cheating these days is personal - c.f. people are schmucks and unwilling to respect the vows they took and the partners they chose? Or sociological, given the conformist leanings of American culture towards "if you don't get married and do the picket fence thing, you haven't succeeded"? Do people try to initially satisfy an expectation that doesn't truly meet their needs, and as they grow, they start branching out to try and find out what their needs are? Hmmm... this one can be complicated to answer. Like Luvdragonx said, its a bit of both. One of the things Individual Psychology deals with extensively is child psychology. It observes that children must be taught how to socialize, how to get along with others, who to respect, and what to value. On their own children are greedy, selfish and demanding, they want their way and have little regard for others. We've all seen this in an undisciplined child (perhaps in a resteraunt) that simply will not behave and acts in a manner that is rude and disrespectful of others... they are being selfish. Think how often we call a selfish adult... childish, or else immature. So some of this can be attributed to individuals who have never really matured. But, there is also something sociological happening, a shift in our values (and by our I mean western culture as a whole). Up until recently in historical terms (ie the last 50 years) the survival of the individual was not guaranteed. The further back in time you go the more dangerous life was. Food for thought, in the middle ages (say 1050-1300) virtually every woman, except among the nobility, was statistically likely to be raped at least once in her life. One in 3 would die in child birth. Statistically from 1050 to 1250 every village and small town in Europe was pillaged an average of 3 times! Think for a moment how tough those people must have been physically and emotionally to survive that, and not only survive but go on to forge nations. Now consider what kinds of values emerged in this crucible. People valued loyalty (its good to know who you can count on in a fight), honesty, integrity, dependability; all these values have something in common, they all help the individual discern who will help them survive and who is likely to be a threat to their survival. These are Values of Survival. Now consider the modern, industrialized world of the last 50 years to present. Few women die in childbirth. Only 1 in 3 women is likely to be raped in her lifetime (based on a US statistics of 2003). And you just don't hear about that much pillaging of small towns anymore (Sturgis not withstanding... hehe). How many times do each of us face real danger or a threat to our lives in a year? Once? Twice? Not at all? How often do we feel a need to carefully weigh the consequences of our actions, how often do we feel there even will be serious consequences? We live in a very safe society, comparatively speaking, and it is reshaping our values. Where once our values were based on survival, now we concern ourselves with what entertains us the most, what brings us the most pleasure. We are shifting from Survival Values to Pleasure Values. Think about why it is we pay atheletes millions of dollars so we can watch them play a game, for our entertainment. And yet, a teacher is lucky to be paid $50,000 annually for the indispensible task of educating our children, our future. Americans will spend an estimated $15 billion on pornography this year (enough to completely pay for the construction of the International Space Station), yet shelters for victims of abuse are underfunded. When knowing your spouse will be faithful and loyal affects your chances of survival, fidelity matters. When your spouse becomes valued as someone fun to be with, marriage vows lose their meaning and so does the spouse when they cease to provide you with the pleasure you seek. If ethics gets in the way of our desires... they become a mere inconvience to be discarded. Welcome to a pleasure based society, you too are disposable. They say its a brave new world we are building. I believe them, we're going to have to be pretty brave to live in it I think. quote:
ORIGINAL: Fidelity I think that in the long run,honesty is just about serving your own best interests-in the happiest and most sustainable manner. An excellent example of enlightened self interest. That understanding that knowing what is good for you means more than considering just what is good right now, it means considering what will be good for you in the future.
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Padriag A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer
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