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RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/22/2007 4:57:10 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		I speak for myself here.

You don't even have to be a Dominant to gain my submission. My submission is a gift which I'm happy to bestow on anyone who needs it without any thought of return. I'm a lifestyle submissive, irrespective of whether it's connected with BDSM or not. Submission is my way of giving to people, to the world, through service and sharing my skills, abilities, talents and knowledge.

I don't need anything from a Dominant, or anyone else for that matter. I love people in general. That love I feel for people cannot be defined by the common English connotation of the word 'love', the romantic, sexual close personal love.. love for me is much much more.. it is kindness, it is warmth, it is understanding, it is tolerance, acceptance, it is taking someone at face value, trying to understand someone in their terms and looking at the world through their eyes, it is sacrifice, it is giving, it is submission.

What I have I give freely, with no thought of return. I love myself, I love God and love other people, I have everything I need in life.

I have a Mistress. She came to me through this website. I saw that she was looking for a slave. I offered to be her slave. She has accepted my offer to become her slave. She has my feelings. She has my love. I am working to become her female slave. I give freely of myself. I am a slave. Her slave. This is how I am living. I have no wish to consider my own needs, I offered the sacrifice of abandoning all thought of my own needs in my offer of submission to devote my whole life to fulfill her needs, her requirements, her wishes and her dreams. She accepted that offer. Will she love me? I cannot say, this is just my dream, not all dreams become reality, she is not under any obligation to fulfill my dreams. It may happen. It may not. This doesn't concern me. All that concerns me at this point in time is becoming her female slave, the one she has wanted all through her life. This is my mission.

_____________________________

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(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/23/2007 12:38:24 AM   
Einzelganger


Posts: 221
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Orlando, FL
Status: offline 		Yes, I do...and I must.  Then again, I always was a hopeless romantic.  Most of us need to love someone, and I feel that it makes the most sense for me to be in a relationship where I love my Domme.  Also, I feel that a loving relationship between a sub and a Dom/me is of the most beautiful type.  Just my $0.02...

-Einzelgänger

(in reply to Blaakmaan)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/23/2007 2:19:34 AM   
hurricane67


Posts: 4
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: offline
"My question to submissives is, do you have to, or even want to, love your Dominant?"

In the beginning, there has to be at least  the possibility of love.  I would avoid someone who did not want a love relationship.  And yes, i want to.

"Does it make it easier to serve him/her and to want to make him/her happy, or does it complicate things more than it's worth, or is it just not relevant at all?"

I would work much harder and have far fewer limits for someone with whom I had mutual love. 

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/23/2007 3:04:37 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		In a word, No.  my first Dominant and i had no romantic feelings for each other at all although we genuinly liked each other and remain friendly to this day.  For me, the respect and trust i had in Him helped me to learn a lot in a short period of time.  i know if i had tried to mix romance into the relationship it would have been a bad thing, would have become frustrating because we just didn't fit as a couple but fit extremely well as Dominant/submissive.  Our relationship was strictly BDSM with a D/s thrown in.  

i think i needed a period of time to experience various aspects of my submission without a lot of confusing emotion thrown in.  i have only felt romantic love toward two of my Dominants yet i have never been in a relationship where i felt unfilfilled in my submission.  Relationships work when the relationship goals are shared.  Period.

Of the two i have loved, one is my Master now and i love Him with all my heart.  This love adds a deeper level to my submission and He calls me 'slave' which i find is a good place for me.  But i don't see my pervious experiences as being lessor, just relationships with different goals than i now have.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to Blaakmaan)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/23/2007 4:42:54 AM   
vampchick88


Posts: 346
Joined: 4/10/2007
Status: offline 		Its not a MUST...but I've found that my slave loves me to bits and there isnt anything he would not do for me. In my situation love really helps, it creates more of a trust, more willing to try new things, much more melt-ier and deeper subspace.
I've seen situations where the Dominant and sub/slave lived happily with whatever they were into and there was no love involved.

_____________________________

Proud owner of rubberpet, the best investment of my time, trust, and heart that any Domme could ever dream of.

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/23/2007 5:50:13 AM   
wisteriaV


Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline 		Yes I love Vanatru my Master. I have from the first time I saw and and I will til the day he dies. There is something magical about him.

_____________________________

Every story has two sides , much like a coin and neither one is totally perfect.
If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

(in reply to vampchick88)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/23/2007 10:05:03 AM   
grlneedstolearn


Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline 		To answer your first question, no i do not want to love or even have to love him for both of us to be happy and content. i enjoy his company as a friend and as my Dom only, there is nothing romantic involved between us. And for your second question, i'm happy that i'm learning and pleasing him.

(in reply to Blaakmaan)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/23/2007 10:14:42 AM   
Zarine


Posts: 32
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline 		I personally don't go looking for any sort of BDSM relationship with someone that I don't have feelings for.  I don't believe in having mindless relationships.  Like any person in a vanilla relationship I want a loving lasting relationship that will (hopefully) turn into something more later on.

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/23/2007 10:47:46 AM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		It makes things much better/deeper for me.

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/23/2007 10:58:53 AM   
rainasmiles


Posts: 20
Joined: 3/5/2004
Status: offline 		I personally couldn't even consider being with someone who didn't own me and I couldn't consider being owned by someone I didn't love, nor could I be owned by someone who wasn't capable of loving me back.  For me everything else is empty if the love is not there. 

(in reply to slavekal)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/23/2007 11:51:39 AM   
magicone


Posts: 53
Joined: 10/28/2006
Status: offline 		fo me simple..
yes i have to..
yes i want to...
yes i need to....
 
and i often do ask myself too
 
does a Master/ Dom loves his sub/slave.. asking this in a more romantic, LTR way..
 
.. and often heard from Masters/ Doms.. no, cause it seems like they will loose control??
 



(in reply to Blaakmaan)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/23/2007 11:58:39 AM   
rawkmehard


Posts: 43
Joined: 11/17/2007
Status: offline 		i want to find a Dominant i can love, who will return that love. i'd prefer it be love of equal capacity, and accept that it may manifest in ways i don't initally expect.

time is really the only solid indicator for me.

(in reply to magicone)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/23/2007 12:01:34 PM   
tanzur


Posts: 18
Status: offline
Hello Blaakmaan

I don’t need to love the person that I am with; I do however have to have some affection for him/her. I don’t require that the affection deepen with time; but it has to be there to begin with.

Enjoy your day

carrie

(in reply to Blaakmaan)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/23/2007 12:33:06 PM   
chastiseme


Posts: 26
Joined: 9/21/2004
Status: offline 		i think that it depends on the relationship you have with your Dom/me ... now this is just my opinion but if it's a longterm relationship that you have with your Dom/me then i think that having some deeper feelings for each other would make things much better in the relationship and it would make the relationship more enjoyable for both. 

but if the relationship is strictly service based, like for example you're just the houseboy/girl then i don't think there needs to be emotional connection there.

Just my .02

mike

(in reply to tanzur)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/23/2007 1:01:12 PM   
kittengirl8


Posts: 120
Joined: 11/11/2007
Status: offline 		For me, if it's just a short-term Dominant, love isn't a necessity, but i do have to have a general enjoyment of their presence.

However, for a long-term Master or Dominant, love is very important to me. Call me old-fashioned, but i would like to be able to just whisper "i love You" whenever i wanted, without getting completely silence in return. Or worse "Uh... thank you?". Yeah.

But that's probably because love has always been a very important factor in my life, love is something i've grown up with, and i'm certain i couldn't be in a real relationship without love...

(in reply to chastiseme)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/23/2007 3:49:16 PM   
Bethnai


Posts: 492
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: offline 		I don't have a lot to compare. When I started I thought love isn't necessary, then I fell in love and now, I think its necessary.

(in reply to Blaakmaan)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/23/2007 3:50:14 PM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline 		for me, yes, i need to love my domiant.  i do love my Daddy...wildly madly passionately

he knows this, and is glad of it, and loves me equally in return.

kitten, who misses him very much right now...

(in reply to kittengirl8)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/23/2007 4:03:45 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		Yes, I have to.
Yes, I want to.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/23/2007 6:30:02 PM   
JerseyGirl1974


Posts: 2
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline 		i do not need to love my Dom; but i do need to love my Master

(in reply to Blaakmaan)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/23/2007 7:11:05 PM   
dawndewdropbaby


Posts: 37
Joined: 1/29/2005
Status: offline 		No I don't have to, it makes me less emotional and attached if I don't...which is a good thing for me.

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 40
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