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RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/24/2007 1:36:10 PM   
TheEvilBstardsMo


Posts: 41
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		Previous to my present Master/Husband, I did not need to love my Master.  I was grateful for the opportunity to be in service.  For any long-term service, I did need to respect that person and also to share similar BDSM and vanilla values. 

(in reply to Blaakmaan)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/24/2007 2:40:18 PM   
seedling


Posts: 4
Joined: 1/17/2006
Status: offline 		Do I have to @  i didn't think so, but have recently found out that i do have a problem being in a relationship where love can only be limited (because of circumstances).  So the answer would be "yes" i do have to.

Do I want to @  Yes.

Does it make it more complicated @ Yes because my emotional ups and downs can be much more intense.

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/24/2007 2:55:57 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Does it make it more complicated **** Yes because my emotional ups and downs can be much more intense.

LMAO...for ME...this would be the understatement of the century! (right Master?LOL)


_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to seedling)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/24/2007 3:01:28 PM   
Maestro66babycak


Posts: 396
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan

Greetings to all:

My question is pretty simple, I think.

I believe that interpersonal relationships are fueled by love, or at least by great affection.

My question to submissives is, do you have to, or even want to, love your Dominant?

Does it make it easier to serve him/her and to want to make him/her happy, or does it complicate things more than it's worth, or is it just not relevant at all?

Thanks to all who reply, and Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!


I definatly do need to love my Master, I could not give mywhole self to a man Master or otherwise that I did not love . I am a woman and whether I am submissive or slave , I am still human.

_____________________________

I live between the Rock and the Hard Place.

(in reply to Blaakmaan)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/24/2007 3:06:31 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		I don't need to feel love for a man in order to submit to him; I need to feel a certain level of respect and admiration.  In submitting over time however, I often grow to love--the heart is a funny little muscle.

_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to Maestro66babycak)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/24/2007 3:47:11 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan

My question to submissives is, do you have to, or even want to, love your Dominant?

If a relationship has no potential for love, I am simply not interested in it.
quote:


Does it make it easier to serve him/her and to want to make him/her happy, or does it complicate things more than it's worth, or is it just not relevant at all?

If I don't love a man, I have no interest in serving him. He can get his own damn beer, make his own damn meals and pick up after himself. Others feel differently and have different needs.
quote:


Thanks to all who reply, and Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

You too!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Blaakmaan)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/25/2007 1:31:27 AM   
akahadaka


Posts: 27
Joined: 11/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Does it make it more complicated **** Yes because my emotional ups and downs can be much more intense.


I need to love my Dominant... and I love to feel these intense emotional ups and downs with Him beside me. Is when I feel really alive 

(in reply to seedling)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/25/2007 1:56:48 AM   
Kellendra


Posts: 95
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline 		I have to have some level of emotional involvement to become open to having someone kicking about my mental furniture in the first place.
We would likely already be friends which means for me that an element of love already exisists for me.
Loves incredibly easily...am generally very open.

But am I IN love with them?.....no...and there is a very big difference between the two...for me anyway.
Just my 23 cents.



_____________________________

The possession of knowledge does not kill the sense of wonder and mystery. There is always more mystery." Anais Nin

(in reply to dawndewdropbaby)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/25/2007 2:33:24 AM   
strappie051234


Posts: 83
Joined: 7/19/2006
Status: offline 		Do i have to?? absolutely

Do i want to? of course

It simplifies things in my opinion, we both love eachother and She makes it easier to open up and makes me feel comfortable with my feelings and it is helpful with the learning process....

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/25/2007 10:08:15 AM   
beltainefaerie


Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline 		In terms of play, it isn't necessary for me.  However, for ongoing experiences, I have been with one I didn't love and one I did.  Either was fun in a masochistsic and service fashion, but I am far more of a relationship girl.  I love my Master and I don't think I'd want it any other way again.

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/25/2007 10:31:37 AM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		love, romance. desire, need there are manny diffrent words for the way we feel.
i am married and love my wife of 18 years very much. i now have a dominate as well as my wife do i love her the same or as much? i do have deep feelings for her and i fell she has them in return. my wife and M'Lady will be meeting for the first time next month and i am hoping that they will get along well. i do have feeling for all who i meet i have deeper ones for those closer to me and my life i only hope to be able to ove M'Lady as i do my wife

(in reply to beltainefaerie)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/25/2007 5:49:13 PM   
sirskayla


Posts: 6
Joined: 11/23/2007
Status: offline 		i have had several Doms whom i served and gave of myself 100% when i was with them.  but i did not love any of them nor did i want the added complications.  i wanted the freedom to not be attached to one.

but then i met Sir.  and now within my love and submission to him i have found true freedom

(in reply to Blaakmaan)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/25/2007 5:58:05 PM   
CatWhoWalksAlone


Posts: 29
Joined: 11/19/2007
From: Greensboro, NC
Status: offline 		If I do not love him, he will never be my Dominant/Master.

(in reply to Blaakmaan)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/26/2007 4:09:20 AM   
trusting


Posts: 144
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Virginia
Status: offline 		i would have to grow to love before i was able to fully submit to him... it would be a more in-depth servitude with love involved.

though, there are many that choose not to love. some find it easier in their submission if they feel no love for their owner.


_____________________________

"Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one." -Malcolm Forbes

(in reply to Blaakmaan)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/26/2007 7:37:12 AM   
stockingluvr54


Posts: 673
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline 		no potential for love?...no potential for submission.

the stonger the love....the deeper the submission

(in reply to Blaakmaan)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/26/2007 7:51:50 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan

My question to submissives is, do you have to, or even want to, love your Dominant?


imho, your question reeks like it's a submissive's sole duty to love her dominant. that should be left up to the individual s-type within her own relationship with the dominant in question.

personally i love Daddy and my SO unconditionally however i don't need to love them as a direct command by them - there's a distinct difference between the two.


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to Blaakmaan)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/26/2007 12:43:14 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Do i have to no my late Dom i liked i did not love him. 
With Master i have to i will not live without it i refuse to have a relationship without love.

Do i want to?  Yes yes yes and definitly YES!

If i di not recieve back from him the love i give to him i would not be in this relationship.  One sided love is really hard.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/28/2007 3:51:28 PM   
SirThomas33705


Posts: 10
Joined: 12/12/2006
From: Sir Thomas
Status: offline 		I meet my sub, and was in lust.  When I claimed her as mine, there was genuine affection, then one day I realized I loved her, so I married her.  Over the last 22 years I've had other subs, I explained that there would be great affection between us, but I would never love them.  The HARD LIMIT was, falling in love with me.  There is only one that I love, there will be only one that I've loved when my time comes!!

Need "love" NO, have a solid attraction for Yes
Want "love" NO, I already have that.

_____________________________

Don't torture yourself, that's my job.

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/28/2007 5:31:05 PM   
Sirsinini


Posts: 172
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline 		ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan

My question is pretty simple, I think.

I believe that interpersonal relationships are fueled by love, or at least by great affection.
I disagree completely.  Interpersonal relationships are fueled by different needs with every relationship.
 
My work interpersonal relationships are NOT fueled by love.
Interpersonal relationships within my nuclear family are NOT fueled by love, but rather a desire to know, understand and unconditonally accept my family as they are.  Once I have done that, I believe I can love them the way they need to beloved by me.


My question to submissives is, do you have to, or even want to, love your Dominant?
Loving my Sir is not my goal.  So my relationship with him is NOT fueled by love.  It is fueled by my need to obey and serve him to the best of my ability. 
I am not in love with my Sir, maybe one day. 

Does it make it easier to serve him/her and to want to make him/her happy, or does it complicate things more than it's worth, or is it just not relevant at all?
Not relevant.  It complicated my last relationship with the dom.
Yes I do want to love and beloved but it is a growth I wish to take a long time in processing.  Giant redwoods do not grow in 3 months and so it is with me and the love thing.  I want to enjoy the growth, not rush or stumble into it and find myself all devastated.
 
Submission, is not always about love.  It is about service, obedience and the desire that burns deep within me to exchange control and authority with my Sir.
 
Sir's devoted property  
 
 


(in reply to Blaakmaan)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/29/2007 10:06:10 AM   
Teles


Posts: 44
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline 		I definitely do.  I think a lot of trust is involved in BDSM...  Anything other than light play, I think, would have to be love for me.  I could never do something like that with someone I didn't love.

Of course, I know it's 'different strokes for different folks' in that realm.

-Leonine


_____________________________

"These aren't the droids you're looking for..."

(in reply to Blaakmaan)
Profile   Post #: 60
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