RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant?

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RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/29/2007 12:17:42 PM

aidan

Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
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To be in a long-term D/s relationship, yes, I'd need to love them.

More friendly, "fun" encounters, I just need to fancy them.

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RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/29/2007 12:42:39 PM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
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Love makes the world go round!
and also Bdsm

it's the Magic which keeps Uus going..

GoddezzT`

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RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/29/2007 6:32:22 PM

daddyncherry

Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
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i HAVE to love my Master...yes....i couldn't help it if i tried.

If he should choose to share me with other Dominants though i wouldn't have to love them....they would be an extention of his will being done and i love him so then the love doesn't need to be there with any others.

If i were to be alone, i wouldn't necessarily need love to bottom to someone but to really serve and surrender totally to someone, yes, i need love.

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RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/29/2007 6:43:30 PM

possessedone

Posts: 64
Joined: 8/28/2007
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for me, and only for me.....love is optional....love brings complications that are unnerving to say the least....what i do require is that i respect my Master and that he has earned my trust....those are more important to me than love ever could be

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RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/29/2007 6:45:13 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
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greetings blaakmaan,

i want to and i have to. well, i'm physically capable of serving someone i don't love...but i wouldn't seek a relationship like that. for me to be fulfilled in slavery, that connection needs to be there. in serving, having sex with, or bottoming to someone else, love isn't a necessity, but i usually have some level of attachment or affection even during casual sex.

respectfully,
annabelle.

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RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/29/2007 10:15:12 PM

exogenous

Posts: 57
Joined: 3/10/2007
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I’ve enjoyed a D/s relationship in which we were in love with each other. I’ve also had the opportunity to have a D/s relationship in which we were friends and cared about each other, but it was in no way a relationship of love or commitment.

I found love and commitment inspired me to fully submit mentally, emotionally, and physically to my Dom. I knew he would always be there no matter what was going on in our lives. There was an investment on a deeper level, which enhanced his dominance and my submission.

In regards to the casual D/s relationship, it really only turned out to be Top and bottom play, whenever he found time. We were friends who talked often and played once in a while. It was difficult for me because I could not be whole-heartedly submissive to him on a mental and emotional level and I always ended up feeling kind of empty after our “dates.” I was always wondering, is that all there is? Casual is not my cup of tea.

Whether the Dom and sub are in love or just friends, there can be different complications in either relationship. I give and get more out of a loving, committed D/s relationship versus a casual, just friends, situation.

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RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 11/30/2007 4:29:28 AM

arayofsunshine55

Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan

Greetings to all:

My question is pretty simple, I think.

I believe that interpersonal relationships are fueled by love, or at least by great affection.

My question to submissives is, do you have to, or even want to, love your Dominant?

Does it make it easier to serve him/her and to want to make him/her happy, or does it complicate things more than it's worth, or is it just not relevant at all?

Thanks to all who reply, and Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

When we first met I didn't have great affection. I enjoyed him. He enjoyed me., We resonated. Today we have a great love what we share. doesn't complicate things. just is the natural evolution of who we are to each other. What the universe has gifted us. a blessing.

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Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

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RE: Do You Need to Love Your Dominant? - 12/1/2007 5:49:39 PM

goodgirl08

Posts: 145
Joined: 6/11/2007
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I am a loving and affectionate person in general so yes it does matter to me. I need to know that I am cared for and valued as more than just a toy or a handy convenience, and that both parties are making an effort to keep things strong and on a good path. By 'a good path' I mean the potential for us to keep learning and growing into a loving relationship.

There's no pressure about it, I just need to feel that both of us have good intentions in our hearts. If I feel I'm being used in a bad, emotionally harmful way then it's a problem.

In fact that is all that I need as a slave. In the long term I don't think I could have a Master who didnt believe in loving/the potential to love his slave.

< Message edited by goodgirl08 -- 12/1/2007 5:55:47 PM >

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